Friday, June 25, 2010

Some PhoDohs for your Friday

previous post: FANtastic Friday:



  1. Tweeeeenty seconddddd!!!!

  2. Homo milk is almost the same as normal milk, just tastes slightly fruitier.

  3. omg, now my eyes are watering

  4. If I had a dollar for every time I super-glued my eyes shut…

  5. Yes Becky, twice.

  6. All I have to say is ouch.

  7. @Tourettes lol I would prefer to be broke hahaha

  8. Krazy Eyez Killa

    Super gluing your eyes together = conversation ice breaker. Actually made me laugh.

  9. I didn’t realize he was only nine years old.

    And then three.

  10. from a lot of the names it sounds like your empathy for glue girl runs deeper than one might suspect…. ‘shutit’, ‘krazy eyez killa’…. at least this girl had the balls to admit it!

  11. how can you even tell when an Asian superglues her eye shut? that would be like me superglueing my eye OPEN to her…

  12. krasivaya_devushka

    Oh my God… ouchhh!!

  13. As a person with serious eye problems that were NOT caused by carelessness or stupidity, I don’t feel sorry for that guy.

  14. So wait, she put the glue in one eye and was too stupid to tell something was wrong . . . So she put it in the other? Wow. I thought I did stupid shit.

  15. All I know is, I’m staying away from that milk.

    Call me a horrible person if you want, but I laughed at that girl in the third pic.

  16. krasivaya_devushka

    I agree with #14!
    Also, who carries super glue around in their purse?

  17. eusadnama,

    She probably glued one and just shut the other for whatever reason.

  18. I agree with Tyler (#17). You can see that there is something wrong with her left eye and she probably just closed her right eye momentarily.

  19. My lack of faith in humanity makes it hard for me to believe it, but I do agree, her other eye does look ok. She must have shut the other one out of shame. lol

  20. @ 16…girls with acrylic nails carry super glue EVERYWHERE! I have gotten super glue on a lot of things, fortunately never in my eyes!

    @ 14 although I’ve never super glued my eye shut I did get a deep wound in my cornea once and because i had to wear an eye patch that eye was always kept closed…I noticed that the uninjured eye had a tendency to shut too or that it was difficult to keep it open sometimes. It was sort of weird.

    getting glue in your eye had to hurt like a bitch!

  21. Yeah I agree with 17 & 18 she seems to be in alot of pain thus the closing of the 2nd eye.

    But that is just speculation, I prefer to beleive she was dumb enough to put the glue in both :)

  22. I just superglued my eye shut. Quick, take my picture so I can post in on FB!

  23. Becky is stupid.

    Homo milk is kinda funny.

    That last girl really tickled my funny bone! I’ve done some stupid shit in the past, and undoubtedly will do so in the future, but super gluing your eye(s) shut is first class dumbassery in my book. Thanks for the laugh!

  24. Krazy Eyez Killa

    Alordslums, if I glued one of my eyes shut, I’d tell people, for the lulz.

  25. wow, she accidentally her whole eye

  26. Alright Lamebook, the American Apparel ads are getting out of hand. Does anyone else have the one for the mesh leotard thing with the super close up shot of the girl’s ass crack? I can almost see her good good! Who the fuck wears this stuff?!

    Anyway, that poor girl in the last photo… I still laughed at her though. Teehee.

  27. @haggie

    Because her eye is shut, you racist fucktard?

  28. Purses. You never know what you’re gonna pull out of them.

  29. @mwnci tal: thank you

  30. She is Azn, she’s used to having super glue in her hand from doing nails. It’s only natural that she grabbed it and thought it were eye drops.

  31. quick question: why she’s keeping a super glue on her purse?

  32. I’d normally be annoyed by super glue girl’s excessive punctuation, but I think the situation warrants it.

  33. I wonder if the glue girl was high and she was using eye drops to hide it . . . If she was, I hope she doesn’t let anyone know, gives stoners a bad reputation.

  34. i’ve always hated skim milk. now i know why.

  35. mwnci tal, thanks from me as well.

  36. I didnt know Michael Jordan died twice :/

  37. Thirded on the thanks to mwnci tal.

  38. i prefer real homo milk to just tastes like homo skim version

  39. Not only did Michael Jordan die twice, he was the youngest NBA star ever. Playing basketball straight out of the womb.

  40. oh my god that poor girl. I once rinsed my contact in hydrogen peroxide instead of sterile contact solution then stuck it in my eye by accident. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life…and it persisted for days.
    I feel for the poor girl. Super glue must be so much worse. Especially since the only ways to dissolve it include substances that can fry her eye even more. She could go blind from that.

  41. I don’t care who it is… getting super glue in your eye? Damn that sucks. I feel bad for her… but at the same time, you ALWAYS have to be cognizant of what you are doing.

  42. @slippyslappy – I feel your pain with the contact lens. Once, as a joke, a “friend” of mine put pepper vinegar into an empty bottle of my contact lens rewetting drops.

    By the way – for all of you that think #3 glued both eyes – the resultant pain from my ordeal was such that I reflexively shut the other eye as well. I couldn’t open either eye for several hours without the lid being pried open and held.

  43. That’s very true, Stretch. When one eye is injured, the other will always go out in sympathy.

  44. Who carries super glue in their purse?

  45. @ScottD
    Sometimes fake nail kits come with little bottles of super glue that are shaped like eye drops. This just makes it so much worse, one time my cousin and I glued our fingers together (BY ACCIDENT!) while doing our nails with that glue. Our skin ended up ripping. I could be wrong, and it might have been glue for something else, but I still hope the eye doctor found a way to get that glue out without ripping her eye open, lol.

  46. Homo milk is offensive, but laughing at someone’s misfortune is a-ok!

    Unless that person is gay and/or black. Then it’s wrong.

  47. krasivaya_devushka

    Thanks #20! That makes sense, but I wouldn’t know since I never do fake nails, nor do I keep mine long.

    But I feel bad for her. I know how it feels to get glue on your fingers, but I can’t even imagine what it’s like to get it in your eyes. Hopefully, it never happens to me lol : )

  48. Wow haggie and Lulz, way to be tools! :D Thanks mwnci tal, you give me hope. :) Did you get your name from the Neopets? When I was a child I was a Neo-pet fanatic and all of my pets were rainbow colored mincis or mwyncis sp?

  49. anyone dumb enough to put crazy glue in their eyese should be removed from the gene pool

  50. This is for guinevere.

    Never put salt in your eyes.

  51. Put salt in my eyes?

  52. @Nonnieyrissa

    It’s Welsh, translates as ‘tall monkey’. In North Wales though, ‘mwnci’ is used as slang for ‘bellybutton’. When myself and my non-gog friends at uni in Cardiff found this out, we liked that so much we gave ourselves ‘mwnci names’. Being the tallest, I became mwnci tal.

    Sorry that’s so dull, I’m too tired to think up some amusing bullshit story instead!

  53. electrcguy, I assure you it was an accident. I had a friend who did the exact same thing. A small bottle of super glue to glue back on fake nails is about the same size as a bottle of eye drops.

    And nonnieyrissa, I’m glad you noticed my comment. I thought it was pretty funny.

  54. Gaaahhhhh!

  55. @Soup

    Your comment @54 is exactly what I said many years ago when a male acquaintance accidentally squirted something salty into my left eye

  56. Men can be so inconsiderate. Worcestershire Sauce should be a privilege, not a right. If I ever met that guy, I’d come in his face just to make him realize that condiments shouldn’t be a barrier to genital love.

  57. @whomever made the comment about Asian eyes (was it haggie?):

    You may find that joke funny, but as someone who is proud of her Korean heritage (my mother’s mother is 100%), the squinty eye jokes get very, *very* old.

    I’m at a loss as to why Asian jokes are acceptable these days. No one, in their right mind, would see a picture of an African American and then make a blatantly offensive “black” joke, so why are Asians open targets?

  58. These comments have taught me that gay guys are not nearly as sensitive about their dairy products as Asian folks are about their eyes.

  59. The_Protagonist

    Hahaha. Seriously, get the stick out of your ass, Jessi. Everything is up for sarcasm and evil jokes. Surprising numbers of people can make a great black joke if given the opportunity within seconds. For instance, what do you say to a black Jew? Get to the back of the oven! You are welcome to retaliate with white jokes, like what do you get when you put 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth. This is how dark humor works. It is not to be combated by extreme sensitivity and lameness. People like you take the life out of everything with your squinty eyes and all.

  60. @ Protagonist. those don’t really qualify as ‘dark humour’

    Jessi, I wonder the same thing sometimes. I have an asian friend who I asked how she felt about how making asian jokes seemed to be more acceptable than making black or jewish jokes and she responded “it’s because we don’t complain all the time like blacks” and I laughed and told her that was kind of stereotypical/ racist itself.

    at least you aren’t Muslim, though, people talk about them openly and no one seems to care. *shrug*

  61. The_Protagonist, after reading your inflammatory comment, I think you should change your screen name to The_Antagonist. Just a thought.

    As a general rule, I never get involved in debates on lamebook, preferring sit back, and let people rip with their opinions. The right to free expression is for the most part, a good thing, but buddy, I just have to say, you really need to look up the definition of dark humour, because your examples definitely do NOT meet the criteria.

  62. I’m with The_Protagonist all the way. That IS dark humor. Obviously it’s not for everybody, especially the lot of you. What a bunch of politically correct Sensitive Sallys. Lighten up, Francis.

  63. I thought that what Haggie said was innocently funny enough (and also, very common for Lamebook)…why is everyone suddenly thinking it’s so bad? With all due respect, I’ve read much more prejudicial comments on here on a daily basis, from the most prominent people on here. What’s with all the sand in everyone’s vagina?

  64. I’m about as far from politically correct as one can get, and yes, there’s way too much PC bullshit in life now. There’s just not enough fun left to be had without people getting screwed over for it (oh how I miss the days of ass grabs & tit rubs in the workplace).

    I LOVE dark humour, when it’s done well, that is.

  65. I too believe that ass grabs and tit rubs should be allowed in the workplace.. would make going to work so much more fun.

  66. word, you would love the job I have. My only other “co-worker” is my boyfriend. The ass-grabs and tit-rubs are welcome to send & receive! =D (And no ugly harassment lawsuit after the fact)

  67. The lunch hour must be the best time of the work day ;)

  68. You need another employee, bry?

  69. I’ll send you my resume.

  70. i love malteaser too

    Ahh the Irish. The only ones left about whom one can make a racial joke, safely. :D

  71. Humans and elves are the biggest racists. They’re always mating with each other but you never see them mating with dwarves or hobbits.

  72. krasivaya_devushka

    Get over yourselves!
    It’s just the Internet; no need to fight on here! Geeez people : )

  73. @Soup:

    Thank you. :)

  74. i like to start each response with
    “I agree with @ so and so…”
    because it makes whatever I’m a bout to say sound more acceptable on the forum as I, myself, am unsure about the repercussions of my reply.

  75. I agree with that yeller-bellied ambchop, but only if she doesn’t get any negative responses to her stupid sarcastic comment.

  76. Walter Sobchak you are now my hero….that comment was bloody brilliant

    I really feel for that girl in number 3….I don’t wear glasses nor do I use eye drops….or use fake nails…but I do feel for her situation – also I think she just got it in one eye and has the other closed to avoid attempting to open the glued one.

    For racist jokes….the only people allowed to make racist jokes now are the freaking minorities who make jokes about themselves and eachother CONSTANTLY -.-”. I swear if I said half the things my boyfriend says (he’s Chinese) I’d get shot. (I’m white by the way).

    We live in a world where everyone inserted a random object into their ass…it’s annoying -.-”. In today’s world I have to ask before I can make jokes abou ANYTHING to be sure no one in my vicinity if offended…how sad is that??

    ./rant over


  77. About* it’s too damn late for proper spelling seriously now

    also missed word ‘We live in a world where everyone has inserted a random object into their ass’

    my bad….so going to bed now before I make more spelling fails….

  78. Oh Hobo, dear Hobo. You made my day with your first comment – and I quite agree with vj (#32).

  79. 1995-1998, also known as the Zombie Jordan Years, was a magical time.

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