Monday, January 9, 2012

One Upped

previous post: Nice, Mom

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42 Comments

  1. STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

  2. OMG! I LOVE it! :) wish I had witnessed that!

  3. How quickly is this comment section going to fill up with idiots who think this is a real story?

  4. If that was a real airline I’d love to ride in it, but there’s no way any official representative of any airline I’ve ever seen would be allowed to say anything like “big scary airplane”, “big brute engines”, “trazy-poo”, “main man”, “pitty-pat”, “sweet-cheeks”, or “bitch” without getting into an “ass-load” (NTTAWWT) of trouble.

  5. Maybe on Southwest, but definitely nowhere else.

  6. No way this is real, it saddens me that Wendy thought this was hilarious enough to share.

  7. Just google the last three words and it becomes obvious this is an old joke.

  8. Dumb as hell.
    Not only are we supposed to believe that a flight attendant would ever call a passenger “bitch” over something so trivial, but we’re supposed to believe that Wendy was able to memorize the entire conversation so completely.
    Is she a court reporter or something?

  9. Wow, looks like Gill called it beautifully.

  10. “Wow, looks like Gill called it beautifully.”

    |3. Gill – January 9th, 2012 at 11:40 am
    |
    |How quickly is this comment section going to fill up with idiots
    |who think this is a real story?

    (Paraphrased)

    |4. goober1223
    |
    |Fake…

    |5. beatusmongous
    |
    |Fake…

    |6. maybecakes
    |
    |Fake…

    |7. deviantnicole
    |
    |Fake…

    |8. Dawn of the Dan
    |
    |Fake…

    |9. throwingtofu
    |
    |lawl. Look at these bites!

  11. killjoys. that was funny.

  12. Well said goober.
    I was thinking the same thing.

  13. vaginalroundhouse

    True story, I had quite the openly somewhat flaming gay flight attendant on Southwest Airlines. I don’t remember the exact words but the last things he said as we were about to take off was “this boeing is a going.” Another thing was he totally owned the blacks on the flights, was going to Baltimore, who would try to form a line for the bathroom in the front. New rules state that you cannot do that anymore and anytime one would do it, he would announce it to the whole crowd, embarrass them and then another negro would do the same thing. Moral here is, blacks are dumb.

  14. Oh shut the fuck up VaginalRoundhouse.
    What are you stuck in the fucking 40′s? It’s 2012, stop being a racist prick or move out the fucking country.

    It’s funny how a person can generalize an entire group of people as being one thing. Not only does that make you ignorant but it makes you sound like a fucking moron.

    As dumb as you sound, I’m sure your ass will never amount to much more than a burger flipper.
    Instead of saying racist shit out of your mouth, maybe you should practice saying the phrase, “would you like fries with that?”…because I’m sure that’s a phrase you will be saying for the rest of your life.
    Happy New Year, Bitch!

  15. Hey Jasmine… as much as I don’t condone a thing he says, your “burger flipping” attitude doesn’t help the world much either. You must not have children. If you did, you’d know how much drilling into their brain that burger-flipping is a bad thing makes someone feel when that’s the only employment they can find at age 16. Why do you think all of these kids these days are stupid, stuck up, fucking brats? Because people like you make them think they can rule the world without lifting a finger. Doing what you can to get by? Not when mommy’s handing it to you.

    Let he without sin, etc. etc.

  16. Flipping burgers is repectable and all, but you can make much more money if they grow and distribute your own weed. Just don’t start smoking your own product, kids, or you’ll never make a decent profit.

  17. *you

  18. Honestly NecRomance, at 14 I WORKED at a fast-food joint. But I realized that this was a temporary job and that I would eventually graduate high school, go to college and get a job that offers FINANCIAL STABILITY. Which is wear I am at NOW.

    Your children should KNOW that a “flipping burger” type of job is a JOB, not a career. and In this day in age, unless you are a manager, working at a fast-food joint is NOT ideal…financial wise.

    Let’s stop being sensitive about things children need to realize. How am I making it seem like you don’t have to work hard to get a good job? Please tell me what I said that implied that? I simply SAID IDIOTS LIKE YOUR FRIEND UP THERE ARE IGNORANT AND WILL NOT PROSPER…BASED OFF HIS COMMENT.

    Get your panties out a bunch and realize being a parent doesn’t have SHIT to do with my comment or his.

  19. Bacchante….Can my future children please look up to you for guidance and advisement? lol

  20. MissJasmine- I’m guessing you have a high-flying, stable career outside of the ‘knowing how to spell’ industry?

  21. Am I the only one that realises vaginalroundhouse was satirising the whole, “uh, aren’t brown people and flamboyant gays just the worst” attitude of the original post?

    As for respectable jobs – there’s nothing wrong or embarassing about being a burger flipper, but there ARE more finacially satisfying occupations out there. Stripping for example. I’m sure MissJasmime can attest to how well that one pays.

  22. Flipping burgers for Wolfgang Puck would be a pretty good gig.

    What I got a kick out of is that Jasmine got all bent out of shape because Roundhouse made a generalizing (bigoted) comment, and then she went in the same direction and generalized people that flip burgers. Talk about hypocrisy.

  23. Love this! And the fact that for a second it seems like it’s going to be a real story makes it funnier.

  24. Arabic is a language. So how does one look “rather Arabic.” Stupid bitch.

  25. Sim
    copter one reporting heavy traffic

  26. I have a true airline story. I flew southwest one time and had a crew of a gay guy and 2 young girls. It was a long time ago so I can’t remember everything they said but these are what I do remember:

    “everyone this is gonna be a full flight so stop avoiding eye contact, you’re gonna be sitting next to someone”

    “put your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else. So if you are unfortunate enough to be sitting by a child you still have to put your own mask on first”

    My favorite was “don’t get naughty in the potty because it’s a $3000 fine and we all know if you could afford that you’d be flying United”

    I’m not proof reading get over it

  27. Exactly what I was going to say Minx. Vaginal was making a point and Jasmine completely missed it, and missed Romance’s point too. What career do you have Jasmine? The curiosity is kiling me.

  28. Saffer,

    I think Miss Jasmine works at the Department of Human Services.

  29. An occupation where you are not required to know the difference between “where” and “wear” apparently.

  30. MissJasmine89, are you meaning to tell us that not a single one of the Fortune 500 CEOs is a racist? Just because someone generalizes a group of people, it doesn’t mean they’ll be poor for life.

    Example: I’m on a six-figure salary yet I think that all 22-year-olds that call themselves “Miss Jasmine” are sanctimonious little preachers who tell other people to stop generalizing while at the same time saying that all racists are poor.

    Oh Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine. Can you spell irony?

  31. This is from an old standup routine by the comedian Ant. So yes, fake.

  32. miss jasmine, get the fuck off your highhorse! I’m west Philadelphian born and raised and near the playground, where I spent most of my days, me and my buddies were just chilling, you know, maxing, relaxing all cool, and decided to shoot some b-ball outside of our school. A couple of guys, obviously up to no good, started making trouble in our neighbourhood,
    I got in one little fight and my mom got scared she said “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air”

  33. Go Jerry, go Jerry, go Jerry …

  34. Awk come on guys, can’t we all just be friends?

  35. Jenny, stop trying to be like Vanilla Ice.

  36. vaginalroundhouse

    Wow Jasmine, for someone who is “working” with “a job that offers FINANCIAL STABILITY” you sure do put some time into coming onto lamebook and start fights. As for the burger flipping, you realize the person who serves me a burger can ruin my day/night/weekend or week when he or she serves me some tainted meat. That my friends is called power. I’ll be sure to tell all of my “burger flipping” friends that when we see some princess who calls herself Jizzman born in 89, I must insist on the clam dressing.

  37. Oh, Jasmine. So naive, going to college during a recession and thinking you can get a non-customer service job after graduation. Speaking as someone with a majority of friends having graduated within the past two years, you should know that almost all of them are either a. unemployed, b. in grad school, or c. working at the same sort of job they worked at in high school. Of the employed ones, one works for a catering company despite going to school to be a math teacher, one has worked at Barnes and Noble for the past three years despite having a fine arts degree, one is sitting on his dual major in math and physics by delivering Mexican food, and one is using his triple major in chem, bio chem, and math to do odd jobs at his father’s store. Oh, and my friend with a MASTERS DEGREE in mechanical engineering from UPenn? Yeah, he’s designing websites, freelance, from Brazil, despite doing everything he can to find a job in the US for the past two years. You think you’ll be doing something other than burger flipping after you graduate college? Yeah, good luck with that. Btw- all of them had pretty decent GPAs from one of the top liberal arts schools in the country.

  38. Mmmmm… I wouldn’t mind some Mexican food right now…

  39. vaginalroundhouse

    I’m betting Jasmine took a few shots in the mouth to get her job.

  40. The fact that they all had to “talk it out” and do detective work to figure out that it’s just a joke delivered in first person is, actually, precisely what I meant. However, I was more referring to the person before me at the time.

  41. When you guys read this whilst sober you will realise that jasmine was 100% correct and doesn’t afraid of anything, and you guys are kinda rabble-like and definitely massive dicks.

    MissJasmine89, you won the sash and the crown for this thread.

  42. I would have found Wendy’s a lot funnier, if it hadn’t been going around in emails for, oh, the last ten years. People that re-post jokes as if it personally happened to them, I find extremely annoying.

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