Monday, October 18, 2010

Just Thought You Should Know…

previous post: Read ‘em and Weep

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124 Comments

  1. smokecrack0fuckchickens

    Meh..

  2. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Are you sure it wasn’t just the baby farting.

  3. smokecrack0fuckchickens

    Well I did kind of chuckle at the vagina one.

  4. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I’m guessing you posted Ben before actually reading the post.

  5. In our PE lessons, tiring as they were, being farted upon by the teacher was taken as a compliment, usually followed by 3 periods of celebrations, gaining the weight we just lost rolling those logs onto the new study hall we were building. Contractors were always far too expensive…

  6. I used to have neighbours who had sex a lot. It wasn’t a good mental image. they weren’t attractive people. And I’m pretty sure she was faking it.

  7. I was pretty “exited” when I first felt my babi kikcin too!

    Fuck, I’m going to go stab myself repeatedly in the heart with a rusty fork if these are the people that are having babies.

  8. Peds, I thought I had neighbours like that a while back, but it turned out he was just beating the shit out of her on a regular basis.

  9. Paula….*pats on head* Bless her.
    Brittany, come on, you know you love the throbbing, stabbing pains..just imagine you’re a virgin again, dear.

    Emily, you know you’re touching yourself to it.
    Crop dust…nice. I’m going to use that.

    “You know what?” “wut?” *farts on someone* “You just got crop dusted, bitch.”

  10. Brittany should let a guy stab her in her vagina… if she gets it right she can get impregnated and get a year off her heavy flow…

  11. June, this guy was obviously knowledgable because she agreed with him a lot

  12. lmao Peds. I just figured mine were into a lot of BDSM. Screaming for help can mean anything these days.

  13. Never forget the safeword

  14. Dang ol’ vaginas. Deykeepdripdripdripdatdangol’bloodwitdacrampsn’tha’mean no dang ol’ sex, man.

  15. I don’t know about that. I’ve knwn more than a few women horny as hell on their period. As long as you don’t mind washing afterwards it’s great.

  16. Squick, Peds. Just squick.

  17. Oh, my god. I LOVE Boomhauer. He’s my favorite character on King Of The Hill! Dang oh I tell you.wut.man.them.dang.oh newfangled. internet.like.clicketclickclickclack.take.you.anywhere.u.want.wit.jus.a.click.

    I provided periods so that we could all understand that reference.

  18. Man, thatdangol’bloodstainmahbedsheets, man. I couldgitadangol’hookerfodadangol’price of bed sheets, man. Yep.

  19. Ah you have much to learn young padawan. Try going down on a woman who’s on her period. They love the rusty grin ;)

  20. Best commenter ever.

  21. Yep. It’s hard to tell at times. The screams of a murderous rampage and loud sex can sound exactly the same. My mother can vouch for this. She’s heard both in her apartment complex.

  22. PEDS! Good lord, the imagery!

  23. Ain’nodangol’womanlikedatredwingface in Arlen. Deylikedadangol’gui-tarplayinwitdadangol’ chocolate covered strawberries, man. Itellyouwhatman, justgit’em moist in the panties.

  24. June, yeah but you’re kind of interested too now

  25. <333333333333

  26. Loud neighbors suck regardless what they’re doing.

    Hey word .. got my ‘wordpervert’ tat today! … of course it’s above my heart.

  27. I got one of those. Not my heart it’s above though

  28. .. well my dick isn’t long enough Ped … it would have said ‘wordp’ lol

  29. “im sure its a baby n not just a fart this time” may be the best sentence of all time.

  30. masssss I actually laughed out loud when I saw that!

    wordy, I hope you don’t mind I put your name on my boobies.

    Peds, I’m sure I can summon enough of my lingering stomach virus to throw up allllll over you.

  31. Silly boy, you go down both sides

  32. Thanks June … bear in mind I like a large font in my tats.

    ‘Both sides’ … I do feel silly now…OF COURSE!

  33. June, if you want to get that kinky you only need to ask

  34. … just tried it out in ball point…ran out of henna. Looks awesome.

  35. I actually have “property of Wordpervert” Done in a spiral around it. It’s quite magical.

  36. You know how I do, Peds.

    mass, you silly boy, if you wanted some more henna you could’ve let me know. With Divali coming up and all, I gots da links.

  37. Dammit Peds, I thought you were my property.

  38. @peds … spiral, that’s creative man!

    I’m just doing some bees on my scrotum… I got the idea because it looks a little like a hive.

  39. mass, that’s so sweet. You know, I’d love to tattoo mass on my breast, but the word has such negative connotations in that area. I could go with massive. Much more positive.

    git, oh, really?

    junie, of course not.

  40. Whew, wordy. Because I don’t think those things are refundable.

  41. June, you know that I adore you and will violate you to every thing the law allows. but Wordy is dirty.
    Nuff said

  42. Ah but, massive is my full first name, word…so yeah, get it done .. we’ll compare as soon as I’m allowed on a plane.

    I love when you talk about your breasts…

  43. junie, the tits or the tats?

    git, I am. Nuff said.

  44. mass, I so thought it was.

  45. Why can’t we all just share :(

  46. The tats, word. The tats. I’d have no reason to be referring to the tits, thankyouverymuch.

  47. I thought that was my suggestion

  48. Going back to what I said about my mother… a murder did occur at her apartment complex. At first, she just thought the usual suspects were going at it again. Then she heard the screaming and moaning carry out into the courtyard. She went to investigate… no wild sex – just her neighbour bleeding out on the ground. Being stabbed to death and loud sex sound the same, apparently. To my mother.

  49. All this talk of tats and none of you have misspelled any? Not exactly the LB way now is it.

    That being said, I got a full back mural of the all-girl-pool-table-three-way. No words to be spelled wrong.

  50. Wordy, did she stay in that complex?

  51. Wow, that’s crazy word … no disrespect, I like to think I would know the difference. I have never heard that level of violence but I saw a fight turn into a murder. I was in a boat fishing, on shore I saw a fight .. big guy and a little guy .. after they got out of my sight the little fellow killed the bigger one with a shovel… according to the papers.

  52. Comments, awesome tat, buddy.

    Yes, she owns that apartment. She ain’t going nowhere. She lives in quite a nice area of town. The police quickly apprehended the killer, anyway – they were related or something. Family dispute. Shit happens.

  53. mass, how unpleasant.

    I’ve heard many a man scream as though they’re being murdered during a prostate biopsy.

  54. For a moment, I thought Junebug was asking ‘why can’t we just all share the tits?’

  55. For sure word, most of the time I’d hate to be beat to death with a shovel…

    A prostate biopsy sounds nice.

  56. Ohh she owns it – that makes sense then. If it were a rental then I’d say maybe start looking (isolated incidents can happen anywhere though).

    Why can’t we just all share the tits?

  57. I had my prostate checked. next time the doctor does that he at least has to buy me dinner.

  58. mass, it’s not.

    Comments, we can.

    I went over to see my mother a few hours after it happened. There was blood everywhere – all over the courtyard, down the stairwell, on the doors, all over cars. It was grotesque and fascinating at the same time. I’m very sick, but I kind like that stuff.

    Ok, enough murder talk.

  59. git, do you know how many times I’ve heard that line? And all the others? I’m yet to hear an original butt-fucking joke from any man. The first man to give me one… I’ll buy him dinner.

  60. I leave, and you’re all talking of writing name on your parts.
    I’m shocked and appalled, only because I’m not sure which name to coose for mine.

    I feel like being adventurous and trying a short name on the old small round ice cube. Maybe Mass would fit, especially after the cube gets excited. You see mine is special, instead of melting from the body heat, it actually grows a bit. Fascinating, isn’t it?
    I’m thinking of mass because it’s a short name.

  61. choose**

  62. Well I’m deeply sorry. I didn’t think dick up the arse jokes were big currency in Word-town.
    Strangely, I don’t post everything just for you.
    You may want to climb down off that horse, it’s a little high.

  63. Our company Mission Statement is “mass fits anywhere” Keona.

  64. Huh? It’s just my experience with what men say during their prostate biopsies. No horse here to climb off, buddy. Chill.

  65. mass, I salute you and your company for always serving the commonfolk so well.

  66. Stabbing in the vagina? No, that’s what guys do with their weiners. I think Brittany means uterus. It’s like calling a penis balls.

  67. GrahamDunk I can’t speak for all women on periods, but on mine, I do get sharp stabbing pains on my puss…quite painful. The lame part is that she shared it on FB.

  68. Pedantic, I agree, why do so many people object to period sex?
    Comments, I don’t know why we can’t all just share the tits. I guess women are misers or something.

  69. mad2, we aren’t.

  70. misers, that is. As for period sex…

  71. … depends.

    mad2, I knew you’d be ok with it, though. Ha.

  72. Period sex..:L Really helps the cramps and bitchiness. Though, it is embarrassing to see the cleaning lady in the hotel change the sheets every day for a week, with stains everywhere. God knows what they must think. Either murder, rape, or virginity taking had taken place.

    What the hell is with you guys fighting? We’re sharing our tits. Calm your selves down! Nobody’s on any high horse. We’re all on jackasses.

  73. Keona, you’re so generous with your information. Does the same apply to your breasts?

    Who’s fighting?

    Eh.

  74. I’m all for sex. Period.

    Keona, mine prefers the term “burro” – he’s sensitive. Oh, and I totally got a mental picture of a parade of topless women on donkeys; its impossible to be angry with that picture in your head.

  75. Lmao…Comments…

    @word, I don’t try to gross anyone out. I try to tell my stories as truthful and as “clean” as possible, while adding some humor of course.
    Between you and coldgit, it seemed to get a bit heated there. Only a bit. I just want our family to always stay happy…
    You know the family that plays happily together, stays together..

  76. In Irish mythology, one time the hero Cu Chulainn got really pissed off and started killing everyone. The solution: get 200 women to go out to meet him and take their tops off. Actually this worked because he was such a gentleman he wouldn’t look or something, not for the more obvious reason.
    Word, of course I’m ok with it, blood doesn’t gross me out.
    Ok Keona I know you had that thing the other day, but overall, Comments question about tit sharing appears valid.

  77. Would it be odd if I jumped in to say pedantic is probably cranky because he’s not feeling well?

    Anyway. Boobs n stuff.

  78. I had what thing the other day? I’m thoroughly confused…

  79. On the topic of tit-sharing: helllll yes.

  80. I’ve already got my out, out of the bra, and on the table. They needed a rest. Perhaps I’ll grab a pillow for my pillows.

    But I’m still confused about what i had the other day…damnit.

  81. mine** I**

  82. I believe for 15 minutes you showed june your boobs via the miracle of avatar photos.

  83. Keona, I knew what you meant, but no-one is fighting. I don’t think so, anyway. Maybe oldgit has gone coldgit? I’m sure not. It’s still all good on my end.

    And you’ve laid your tits on the table… good for you.

  84. I’m one step ahead of ya, Keona. Wasn’t wearing one to begin with :D

  85. This reminds me of the time where everybody went topless on the skytrain between one of the stops. True story.

  86. nuff said.

  87. junie, as much as I’d like to join you and Keona in a topless/braless festival, I have to go out in public. Too many cops around of late, and I did get pulled over by the cops yesterday. Alas, only for a breath test. He was cute.

  88. Well, wordy, you can just be topless under your clothes. Problem solved, you are welcome.

  89. Word, your driving is that erratic that the cop thought you were drunk?

  90. Wow, that’s a lot of bewbies. Yay for sharing – it IS caring afterall.

    Wordy, did you blow on his breathalizer?

  91. This is TOTALLY off-topic. But my wife’s friend just told her that her hairdresser said semen is good for hair. And as we all know it is good for the complexion.
    So perhaps we can make an arrangement here, we men will share what we have in exchange for women sharing boobs?

  92. I will share mine on their boobs. Give them that extra somethin’ somethin’.

  93. junie, of course, but for what I’ve been doing the past 2 days, a bra was necessary. Mission accomplished, so now it can come off.

    mad2, I’m a good driver. Highway patrol here don’t need any reason to pull you over. They just do. It’s random breath-testing.

    Comments, indeed I did, and he was very satisfied with the result, but as soon as I was done, he just sent me on my way. Men.

  94. I’m back from laundry. :D
    @mad2 Yeah, I did have ‘em out. Granted, fully topped, bra’d, and it wasn’t even low cut. No cleavage. Just a regular t-shirt. Nothing special. I wanted to keep it G rated, lest any children come about.
    Semen is good for hair? I wonder if is aids it via ingestion, or by application of the topical cream sort?

    @wordy, did you flirt to increase the likelihood of just getting off with a scolding? Tickets are evil.

  95. Word, that sucks. And not in the good way.
    Keona, we’ll have to run some experiments to find out whether oral or topical is most effective. I believe this is the only fun, I mean scientific, way to figure this out.

  96. Scientific, eh? *Sticks pipe in mouth, takes a puff, and dons a British accent* Mm, quite.

    @word I know what you mean. The cops here, (probably everywhere actually) have a quota to fill for tickets. So, if they’re lacking, they pull ones over for little to nothing, while the 20-30 MPH over the speed limit ones, get nothing. At the same time, they do illegal things them selfs..speeding, U-turns.
    I’m guilty of speeding, but I check the area in the spots I know the cops hide out in first. Also, if one every pulls me over, I’m going to smile coyly and say “Mr. Officer, y’all speed all the time. Is it a double standard because you are the law?” Add some eye lash bats for good measure. Maybe that will take away from my obvious smart aleck remark and disrespect.

  97. Keona, I didn’t get a ticket. Anyway, for DUI, they take your ass away for further testing. If you read over on the second test, they take your licence and then no more driving. The court then decides for what amount of time – how much over the limit you are is the usual determining factor.

    Thankfully it’s not happened to me. Speeding tickets, however, are another matter.

    mad2, no sucking, just blowing.

  98. Oh yes, quite scientific. But only with a large sample pool. In the words of Zapp Brannigan, ‘we’ll need an army of super-virile men scoring around the clock.’

  99. Keona, we have fixed speed cameras and red light cameras here in the great Down Under – purely for raising revenue. Also, they’ve just introduced these lovely little things called safety cameras. You know, when you speed up to catch the amber to red light? They do you for speeding and the red light at the same time. Fucking killers.

    By the way, the allowed driving alcohol limit here is 0.05, and you have to be under it. Harsh.

  100. I’ve only ever been booked for speeding from fixed speed camera. Once, by the same one on the same day! Ha. And, I knew it was there, too. I was asleep, I think.

    The fines are bad enough, but it’s the points. We’re allowed 12 points on our licence. Once they’re gone, you’re gone. They stay on your licence for a few years, too. I’ve just got back 7 points. I’ve had to be very careful these past couple of years.

    We have double demerit points during the holiday periods. I hate the holidays. The roads of Aus are tough, baby.

  101. wordy, I know you didn’t get one. o.o Never said you did. I was just saying IF I ever get pulled over for what I do.

    mad2 Maybe you can interface with my ass, by biting it.

  102. That sounds real similar to Canada word, except I think our penalties for speeding and DUI’s have gotten a bit more severe since about a month and a half ago. Alas, I have 0 points on my license, w00t!

  103. Keona, the last line in your comment #94 was what I was referring to. Blah. It doesn’t matter.

  104. Oh. ^_^;; I’m not blonde…I’m worse. A brunette. Sorry. My attention span and memory are that of a spong- kitty! ‘scuse me while I go pet it.

  105. nuff, funny. Bad boy.

  106. Bad enough to pull out your riding crop?

  107. hmm…i think i’ll get mad2′s name tattooed on me. also, im afraid i missed the tittie sharing. im sure you are all disappointed.

  108. I’m tired, and going to go rest some. G’night you LameBooker hookers.

  109. Ah, yes, memories, nuff. The good ol’ days. How I miss them. I bet you do, too.

  110. You did titties without me? Whores.

  111. Did I miss the titties?

  112. Yea, I guess we did miss the tittie sharing :( Booooo

  113. Well, shit. Off to the porn, I guess..

  114. I was here. I saw nothing. You missed nothing. They’re all talk, these girls. But, one crazy did show us her tits last week. I reckon it’s only a matter of time before another surely does.

  115. Yay! Whores!

  116. lol word I remember now

    I guess I would have been all talk as well >:D

  117. Woah, what?! Someone showed tits and I missed it?

  118. Pedant @ 19 – that cracked me up. Nice one lol :D

  119. I awoke because I had a fucked up dream. For the first time ever, I had a dream…about reading comments on LB and posting my own.

    What the fuck..

    Anyways, just thought I’d pop on for a min to tell you how much I subconsciously obsess over you all. Freud would be proud.

    For the record ^ I did say it was a plain t-shirt. If you boys want a visual: just go look at any chick with a regular tee on.
    Nothing special at all. o.O Unless the site of the breast area itself is enough to make you as fervent as rabid dogs in heat?
    Bloody hell, just go look at some store mannequins that display Tee’s. I can easily imagine seeing some dude fapping away to them in public and then being escorted out. *shudders*

    Well, back off to sleep.

  120. Night Keona – wishing for better dreams for you this time round!

  121. “I can’t speak for all women on periods, but on mine, I do get sharp stabbing pains on my puss…quite painful. The lame part is that she shared it on FB.”

    “Period sex..:L Really helps the cramps and bitchiness. Though, it is embarrassing to see the cleaning lady in the hotel change the sheets every day for a week, with stains everywhere. God knows what they must think. Either murder, rape, or virginity taking had taken place.”

    The lame part is that she shared it on Lamebook.

  122. mb, why is it lame to tell people your period gives you pain in your pussy? People need to stop being such prudes.
    However, I’ve never heard of or seen period sex getting blood everywhere.

  123. It’s lame because she called someone else out for being lame for putting it on Facebook then overshared here. Or is it supposed to be OK here because we’re all anonymous, because I don’t think that makes it any better.

  124. It’s called sick and fucked up humor. Apparently you don’t get it. :D it’s ok.

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