Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Gotta Have Faith

previous post: Mother’s Day Wrap-Up (part 2)

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87 Comments

  1. alen002

  2. tangalangadingdong

    Gotta love angry religious freaks!

    LOL for communion in braces and on pants!

  3. Wow, I find that pretty scary! I now feel the need to pray for my soul!

  4. So I guess Bill is still on the fence about Cazzy?

  5. Devin apparently has a very shaky grasp on Christianity. Bill obviously has none at all.

  6. Go on Bill! Treat yourself to that aneurysm!

    (Also, you very definitely *don’t* need a dick for that.)

  7. Paige, it can be a health hazard too. I don’t drink from the cup because I don’t want to drink the saliva of a hundred others.

    Jessica, it always sticks to the roof of my mouth.

  8. Wow, Bill. That was not a proportional response.

  9. Who's That Girl?

    Both Amy and Bill are idiots! “I won a cruise” – dumbasses. I win a cruise every other day.

  10. If Bill is right, there’s an awful lot of girls with spiky haircuts, and flannel checked shirts, hanging out at Satan’s house.

  11. Yeah, Word. She’s a lumberjack, and she’s OK.

  12. It seems then my sister is going to hell for her sexual choice. I’m going for other reasons.

  13. @9

    You win a cruise every other day? How so? There are some valid week long cruise prizes out there… if that’s what you’re getting at, that it’s some kind of scam to get you to pay some sort of money anyway.

  14. I hope some of them will involve my sweaty plans, Word.

  15. Who's That Girl?

    mcowles – Yes, I win them all the time. In the mail, over the phone, all the TIME. They are mostly sales reps who want you to come listen to a two hour sales pitch to buy timeshare. You only win a low end room on the ship, generally for 3 or 4 days. You still pay for airfare and all other expenses. So really, you just save a around $500 on a vacation. Oh, and you’re really only a “winner” if you are eligible to purchase whatever they are selling (sometimes you have to be married and earn a certain income).

  16. Grammar Police

    Damn, someone tell Bill to take a chill pill. Maybe 2 or 3 for good measure.

  17. Bulldog, all my sins have had blood, sweat, and tears on them.

  18. Bill is Ben.

  19. Who's That Girl?

    Point being – almost everyone wins cruises. You just have to be on their calling list.

  20. That’s good, most of my plans for you involve dark mascara running down your cheeks, Word.

  21. Who's That Girl?

    And when I go to Hell, it’s going to be for that pedestrian hit and run on interstate 95 awhile back…not for my lesbian antics.

  22. Sounds like Bill had a little too much of the ol’ Blood of Christ before logging on to Facebook.

  23. CommentsAtLarge

    @WTG

    And if you accept said cruise, but turn down the item being sold, then they keep calling and calling. You are now a “responder” which is a marketing term for constant target.

    @Word

    To quote Billy Joel: “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun…”

  24. CommentsAtLarge

    Though in this case, it would be more than laughing with the sinners…

  25. Lol @ Bill. He really just went apenuts.

    I bet he’s a monster in bed with all that agression. ;)

  26. Unlikely. I bet he loses it in < 30 seconds.

  27. Bill is herpes. No pool either.

  28. So according to Bill, I guess I’m going to hell? Oh well, fuck it!

  29. Bulldog, I rarely cry, and I use waterproof mascara. The tears I speak of, are usually other people’s, but I’m still willing to be part of your plans.

    Comments, and according to Billy’s song, I’m going to be here for a VERY long time.

  30. I take that as a challenge, Word. Though I promise, I wasn’t talking about sad teardrops. ;)

  31. I knew that.

  32. Dancinganimal256

    I love how the ‘faithful’ spew hatred towards the ‘evil’ ones and state that they are going to hell. Ah, hypocrisy at its finest. (I’m Catholic btw).

  33. ETERNAL HELL.

  34. i’m unclear who’s the subject of Bill’s wrath. is it Amy?

  35. Dancinganimal256

    @ dcrearview: I believe Cazzy is the target of Bill’s rant.

  36. I’m gonna suggest that Cazzy is Bill’s target since Amy seemed to respond to Cazzy as well. Side note, I just sneezed so hard I almost farted!

  37. @Dancinganimal, I’ve found that sometimes the people I consider to truly be the most faithful are the ones who are the most quiet about it. The rest just like to shout and feel like they’re better than everyone else. In Bill’s case, he’s overcompensating for what appears to be a long list of issues.

  38. Dancinganimal256

    @ Zoned: I missed that. I guess Bill needed to reinforce the idea that hell is eternal and not just a resort that is a tad too warm.

  39. I don’t really follow the whole of the first post, it’s a bit confusing.

    The only bit I get, is apparently, all lesies will burn in hell.

  40. CommentsAtLarge

    @word

    With as much as I enjoy reading your posts, I would hope so.

  41. the communion one was kinda funny but youu knoww the first one i just couldnt be bothered to read all “bill” said, such a waste of time and space (:

  42. Sorry Zoned, ETERNAL HELL.

  43. Dancinganimal256

    Anyone wish to vaction with me to TEMPORARY HELL? I hear we can gamble, smoke, drink, and clucb baby seals all day long. =)

  44. Dancinganimal256

    club* damn these infernal fingers =)

  45. Basically, what’s happening is that Amy won a cruise. Everyone is happy for her, except Cazzy, who is apparently one of those people who likes to rain on everyone else’s parade. She points out that you still have to pay lots of stuff to participate in the “free” cruise, and then gets in the extra dig at Amy to point out that she’s not currently gainfully employed, and is in fact on the public dole. I’m not sure why Amy and Cazzy are friends. Amy isn’t either, and she tells Cazzy to shut it. Bill goes several steps further, however, suggesting that Cazzy shouldn’t be so proud of herself because her job is just working nights at Target, which is apparently not worthy of praise. Bill also seems to think that Cazzy is not paying her own bills with her Target paycheck, and is instead letting her mother foot the bill. Bill, for his part, pays his bills (presumably with his government assistance) and feels like this makes him a better person than Cazzy, especially considering the fact that he’s a heterosexual, and Cazzy is apparently a homosexual. Bill further points out, in a rant he’s apparently been saving for just such a moment, that he believes homosexuals will be going straight to you-know-where.

    And, scene.

  46. So I have been wondering on the last 100 posts…what is the Ben thing? I feel lost.

    I think I know Bill…he yelled at me for using a bible verse the other day and not crediting the “Big Guy”.

  47. Well done Bulldog! Well done!

  48. Bulldog, that was amazing. You should tell stories to children (when you are not making dirty passes at women in an attempt to make them cry tears of pleasure and a little pain).

    I like it.

    Hey ee… almost cocktail hour(s)!

  49. Does anyone else find it ironic that Cazzy should go to hell for having an orientation that is beyond her control, yet Bill seems to assume he should be eternally rewarded despite his sins of adultery, fornication, ample cussing, judging, and crappy spelling, punctuation and grammar?

    (I won’t flat out insinuate that drugs must also be part of his picture, though it is definitely implied.)

  50. katy, you have no idea!

  51. Thanks Bulldog, for clearing up the Bullshit.

  52. Katy, they’re both noble pursuits. Speaking of which, why aren’t you bent over my desk?

    I’m headed out to happy hour myself, ladies, I’ll keep an eye out for you.

    And, Word, I’ve unfortunately had to learn to speak “bullshit” over the years and thus can translate it well.

  53. TylerDurdenUMD

    I have to be the contrarian to the Bulldog. As someone who has, and does work with people on public assistance, there’s no reason they should be taking a cruise if they’re on the dole. Amy may pay her bills, but it’s with money she’s given by the taxpayer.

    I can’t even count how many times I would see people buy the most worthless shit with their Ghetto Visas (welfare cards), but then get out and jump into a car far nicer than mine. With what little info we have, Cazzy is fully justified calling her out.

  54. katy and ee, my cocktail hour is still many hours away. You guys will have a decent head start on me, but I plan to catch up.

    Bottoms up, girls.

  55. I would love to be bent over your desk, Bulldog. However, unfortunately, I am still bent over mine “working”. We’ll make a play date and I’ll teach you a few tricks.

    ee! T-minus 42 minutes and counting!!!

    word! I will be sure to have at least three cock(tails) in your honor ;) Bottoms up, indeed!

  56. @Fight Club: wasn’t making any sort of pro or con argument about the whole deal, just translating.

    @Katy: A play date sounds like a simply marvelous idea. Bottoms up, indeed. ;)

  57. Hell sounds like it will be quite the party, so I’m glad I will be there. Especially if it means getting away from all the Bills of the world lol.

  58. I am jealous that everyone is leaving work…as I am here for another 2 hours and 16 minutes.

    Someone should definitely keep me entertained.

  59. looks like Bill doesn’t pay the bills either as he’s a self confessed ‘welfare loser’.

    Lol also at Bill’s repressed homosexuality.

  60. Whoa, and the religious nuts come out to play. I gotta put this out there, why (other then for my eternal entertainment) do these people have enemies on their friends list? Is it some sort of fun to have someone who obviously hates you able to post comments on all your posts? I’m not saying stop, it’s only too hilarious. Just tell me why?

  61. CommentsAtLarge

    @molly

    2 hours and 6 minutes now – but be careful what sort of entertainment is available with this crowd.

  62. first one: I just died a bit inside realizing how A) Amy apparently fell for a scam B) Cazzy is that much of a bitch and has a fucked up name to go with it and C) Bill has THAT big of a tree up his ass

    owait….I just made a homosexual reference….damnit now I’m going to hell….ah well

    <lights a match) weeeee

  63. I really can’t stop myself. I guess I am just horrible this way but IceyAngel… It’s icy. :/ Unless you did that on purpose.

  64. oh I did do that on purpose, I’ve had the name IceyAngel for in excess of 10 years.

    My goal in life is to enter hell, freeze it over, and make the devil my bitch

  65. Oh good, Lol. And good luck with that. I have been banned from hell for arrogance, lust, greed and geberal misbehavior so when you meet the devil tell her I still think she’s a fat cow. :D

  66. generl*

  67. general* Fuck me, I’m having a slow day!

  68. Icey, I wish you luck on that…and if you need a sidekick, count me in! ^_^

    Beautiful Bill Hypocrisies: “We might be losers on welfare…we’re not freeloading pieces of shit…at least I pay my bills….”; “cun+, dyke, etc etc….You are never welcome around my son because all you do is talk shit about everybody…”
    Bill, you make the rest of us look bad, you d-bag.

    My blonde (sorry to add in the stereotype!) cousin also “won a free cruise”, and she’s paying a whole lot out of her pocket. Incredible how these free cruises work!

    Honestly, I agree with Mr. Durden! I also indirectly work with people on welfare, and he’s absolutely right – how much money do you want to bet that Bill & Amy have a 50-inch flat screen?

    On a completely unrelated note, why is it that Lamebook moderates words like “cun+” (I think it does), but doesn’t blur it out on the actual post? It’s such a bother, lol!

  69. @Commentsatlarge -

    Only 5 minutes now to go! The comments usually keep me more entertained than the actual posts. :-) I can handle it. lol

  70. @disdain I’ll make sure to make your sentiments clear, and in my hell, your welcome ;)

    @bry More the merrier! Come join the party!

  71. I’m definitely going to hell after my visit to the convent that’s next to my place yesterday.

  72. Aye yes, eternal hell indeed.

  73. Katy, my drinks have been had, and all is well in the land of ee!

  74. Bill is lame.

  75. Since when do I live in a convent Troll?, you make a second stop on your way home from mine?

    Manwhore.

  76. lol

  77. xxxtheworldsgreatestxxx

    Its kinda ironic how Bill talks about sin and yet he’s the one cussing and going on and on like a lunatic.

    as for the others, they weren’t even funny. they should think before saying dumb shit like that coz its creepy, even if ur not religious….it just feels wrong.

  78. @wordpervert, you didn’t have any ticks so I thought I would check elsewhere.

  79. Ah yes religion. Nothing controlling, single minded, or conformist about it.

  80. You are absolutely right Hawkbit ;]

  81. bry,

    I’d bet someone else’s left nut they have a huge flat-screen tv.

    The best were the people who would come in and go “Job? I can’t a job! I’d lose my welfare!!!”

    Now that I’m at a career as opposed to a job, it’s not much different. Every day we have people who use our company to go to medical appointments, but what they’re really doing is using us to go shopping or get out of the house. They tell us they have to see the doctor, we drop them off, and they go do their thing. So they get the taxpayer to pay for their trips to Starbucks, shopping, or whatever else they’re doing.

  82. Maybe Mary WAS pro-choice… and she chose ‘keep’?

    Sorry, annoys me when ppl assume pro-choice means anti-baby.

  83. FYI Krzygrl.

    Pro-choice DOES not necessarily mean that the woman keeps the baby. Pro-choice means being in support of abortion. It doesn’t mean that is the only option allowed in pro-choice is abortion but pro-choice=pro-abortion. Assuming that pro-choice and anti-baby are one in the same is not a far cry.

    Anti-choice means taking the option or “choice” of abortion away. Those who are not pro-choice do not believe in abortion.

    The issue can be confusing when usin terms such as pro-life, pro-death, anti-baby, etc…but in general the topic is quite murky. Ingeneral best to stay away.

    All right, all done with my rant. Sorry, annoys me when stupid people who don’t know what they are talking about open their mouths.

  84. congrats airforceFTW,

    you now have the stupidest most convoluted post i have ever read on this site.

    pro-choice means being in support of having the option of abortion. it does not mean that you are going to abort. it simply means that you want to have that option. you can be pro-choice and never ever have an abortion.

    what Krzygrl said was correct. mary could have been pro-choice and just CHOSE to keep the baby.

    sorry, it annoys me when stupid people who don’t know what they are talking about rant about stuff in a very roundabout idiotic way.

  85. FYI fucktardforceFTW

    pro-choice = wants people to have choice. Like the choice to NOT have an abortion.

    pro-abortion = wants people to have an abortion.

    Get it through your skull.

    TY to shipoopi

  86. @ iyaa:

    um, no, that’s not how it is.

    pro-choice = right to choose to have an abortion (pro-abortion)
    pro-life = right to the baby’s life (anti-abortion)

    So yeah, pro-choice doesn’t necessarily mean you keep the baby. It just means you think that people should have the choice whether or not to keep it. So yes, they could make the choice to not have an abortion, but they could also make the choice to have an abortion. It’s all about individual freedom versus authority.

  87. No true supporter uses the word “pro-abortion” because “pro-choice” sounds much better. We’re not necessarily supporting abortion. We are supporting the right of someone to choose what to do with her body.

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