Monday, December 6, 2010

Your in It for Life Part 2

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  1. How is Christian even friends with people that dumb?

  2. ahh, tattoos that have words spelled wrong.. never gets old. okay, im lying- it does get old.

  3. Aand yes the people commenting are ridiculously dumb, but Christian’s also dumb for talking like an arrogant jackass.

  4. Not arrogant – just articulate. But must agree- how he even knows these people would be hard to fathom.

  5. I would also like to know how he even knows these people. The guy who got the tattoo is clearly a moron. Even if he likes it like that, his artist should have known better or enough to not tattoo it like that on him.

    I love how people get defensive and then rely on threats and swearing to win the argument. Way to be, people!

  6. Anyone else see the movie Idiocracy staring Luke Wilson? In case you haven’t (Which I strongly suggest you rectify)” Private Joe Bauers, the definition of “average American”, is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. He discovers a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he’s easily the most intelligent person alive. ” –IMDB

    Quote: Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded. What I’d do, is just like… like… you know, like, you know what I mean, like…

  7. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume Christian is the caretaker for a house full of retarded, in-bred morons. He’s like Marilyn on “The Munsters”.

  8. I am guessing he was/is school friends with the guy who got the tattoo, maybe. And all these stupid girls are people he doesn’t really know. You know how FB people are; they friend everyone! FB is basically just friendship Pokemon. He who has the most friends they never talk to in real life wins!

    I get tired of seeing misspelled tattoos, but I never get tired of seeing the excuse “This is how he wanted it spelled!” Unless your tattoo says “Nohtings’ Perfekt!” or something, what motivation could there ever be for purposely wanting it misspelled? People would look a lot better if they just admitted the stupid mistake instead of pretending there is some deep meaning behind the mysterious lack of apostrophes.

  9. christian sounds like a barrel of laughs. i bet he can’t walk by a mount without getting on it and giving a sermon.

  10. Nice to see that Britain isn’t free of the curse of inbred white trash.

  11. Oi!

  12. @5 Yes, that’s always the default argument – people that think spelling counts are somehow “retarded” and losers with no life. It’s not even ironic anymore, that the people screaming “retard” (or even better – “retart”) and “stupid fuck” are always the ones typing like a brain-damaged monkey on crack. Just depressing.

  13. @muffinmix – great movie and, I fear, a frighteningly accurate prediction of where society is headed. I feel obligated to have kids someday just to keep some intelligent people in the mix.

  14. This is going to get mighty awkward when they pack Christian’s bags in the supermarket.

  15. sexclamationpoint56

    it seems as if all the tattoo ones are the ones with you’re misspelled. how are these people friends with anyone? they are so ridiculously dumb! im sure if they type in such ways on the internet, no one would be able to understand what the hell they are talking about when actually speaking. they type like midgets who can’t reach the keyboard and obviously don’t read cuz they couldn’t even get through the first few sentences of christian’s little rant but they have the effort to call him a retard even though he spelled his post correctly. they are probably those bitches that have been on the internet so long they forgot what real words mean anymore

  16. At least it would be easy to fix. That is if Bob ever admits it’s a mistake.
    I particularly like the “where did you leave to turn your barks into english” bit.

  17. When are people like Christian ever going to realize that such a level of diction is completely wasted on people such as these? Isn’t trying to show off your intellect to the functionally-illiterate underclass a bit like swatting a fly with a Land Rover?

  18. Some always mentions the movie Idiocracy on a post like this :P

    Chris must be the retards amongst his other groups of friends, that’s why he takes the time to show off his superiority with morons. Who in the hell writes an essay to illiterate fucks?

  19. *someone

  20. * retard

  21. I don’t know why…but I love fucked up tattoos. I love when it’s the wrong its/it’s or there/their/they’re, two/to/too, you’re/your… all of ‘em. They just crack me up. Shit, just get a third grader to proof read it before you go it. There’s gotta be one of those lying around SOMEWHERE.

  22. Um, excuse me? Did anyone notice that Christian used two commas in his first post there? Me no likey.

  23. He also missed one in his second post…after Sarah. Maybe he was making up for it i advance? Also, missed a capitalization of and I.

  24. *AN

  25. *IN

  26. Gracias.

  27. I think this is actually an Australian post….the reference to schoolies (where all the high school kids go mental after finishing year 12) makes me think so, plus the colloquialism ‘shit cunt’. Charming.

  28. What a meaningless fucking tattoo.

    Also Christian is an amazing human being.

  29. Do people really think they’re fooling anyone by claiming their misspelled tattoos are done on purpose??

  30. @tikitommy this is more likely an Australian post, as it refers to “schoolies”, which we don’t have in Britain. (see #27/naynay104′s post explaining “schoolies”.)

  31. Denada. :)

  32. @Ugh, I was wondering the same thing too. I think it’s the post tattoo “Oh fuck” moment then “Dam, gottuh think me up a good storee for dis 1 guys.” And that is the best they can come up with.

  33. If they’re are all going to schoolies, have they have all graduated high school?!! (Jesus)
    The most confusing part for me is whether Christian is a girl or guy. Does my head in.

  34. I cringed while reading this post. Bogan speak hurts my brain.

    Sarah and Chloe, if you are in a hole, it is usually a good idea to stop digging. (Maybe that should be their next tattoo).

  35. *oops. Superfluous “have” there

  36. Why has nobody commented on the lack of capitalisation in the word English? That would be how I know it isn’t an English post.

  37. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Chloe, stay down.

  38. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    wiffles that’s because we tend to not side with the idiots in the LB Post.

  39. It does sound Australian with the schoolies reference and the insults.

    Wow, this makes me embareassed to be Australian.

    What happened to the creative insults of my youth such as assmuncher.

  40. Hahaha I agree with SomeDude. Definitely Australian, probably from the high caliber of people from areas surround the Gold Coast (where schoolies is held) such as Logan. Christian’s eloquence is hilarious. But kids these days don’t know how to insult. Assmuncher, buttface etc. All gold. It’s not about how vulgar you are, it’s what combination of words is the best. Such as cock smurf.

  41. What I don’t get, is why are there a bunch of people who WANT it spelled incorrectly? Why would you want it like that? It makes absolutely no sense. It is not a better tattoo because it’s spelled incorrectly, it’s not giving you magical powers.

  42. I’m embarrassed to be an Australian right now.

  43. What confuses me is that you have to be 18 to get a tatt, and if they are from Queensland (which I suspect they are, since I haven’t heard ‘shit cunt’ in any other state) then they are either so stupid that they got kept back a year, since schoolies are usually 17, or they are what we call ‘toolies’, idiots who think they’re cool and head off to schoolies when they are clearly too old. Either way, this makes me sad.

  44. I thought you had to be 18, or had your parent’s consent to get a tattoo.

    And by the sound of these kids, their parents would be dumb enough to do that.

    Cock smurf is a good one !!

  45. This embarrasses me. As a teenager from the Gold Coast (I had my schoolies last year), I feel like I need to rant and defend mine and my city’s honour. Hopefully these people aren’t from the GC, but if they are: Select group of people, fellow lamebookers, I swear!

    As for the whole tattoo thing; you are not allowed to get a tattoo, even with paren’t consent (at least not from any tattoo parlours I’ve been to). But some teens manage to get them anyway. Though he could be 18.

  46. *parent’s

  47. Actually most people on schoolies are 18 as the Australian school year finishes (for year 12′s) in October/November not July as for American and English schools, so by then most people are 18.

  48. I love trying soff opposed to hadd ones. But, only if they’re Snuggle bear soff. None of that knock off imitation shit, because then I can’t get my rubz off.

    You better be on schoolies because im a unit.

    (If that is some Aussie/ Brit/ other slang, then it’s new to me) I do like that I’m learning new ones from here, because it’ll make future posts *somewhat* easier to understand.

    Christian, well done for keeping calm, cool, and composed during that. The best way to deal with angry idiots that are cursing and yelling, is to stay calm and just kill with kiss ass kindness. For some reason nice makes them more volatile. Not so well done was the fact that you didn’t use 100% proper English and Grammar while you messed with them..sort of makes reading you ironic and a hypocrite, eh?

  49. Actually Dazer, it’s only the NSW schoolies who are 18. QLD school leavers start grade 1 at 6 yo and therefore finish year 12 when they’re 17… well most of them, except for interstaters and kids who had to repeat.

    Glad you liked it SomeDude. Here’s another one. Anal sack.

  50. Thank you thunderhill, I was just about to say that.

  51. I wish I knew their last names, so I could add them as a friend on facebook and enjoy hours of entertainment.

  52. Oh, I retract some of my previous post. I read through the other comments and now understand the schoolies bit. Soff, and “I’m a unit.” are still out there.

    Soff= sodder off combination?

    @MsbuzzKill The only, and I do mean only trace of a logical explanation, is that they are being rebellious. “I’m fighting the norm, because I’m too cool to spell properly. Sure, I’ll get shit for it, but that’s what makes me an individual. I shall not conform to the rest of the bandwagon.”
    Of course, all that is translated into dumbed down monkey talk for their cases.

  53. Well, Christian’s post was readable. he has got that going for him.

  54. Unfortunately I understand bogan.

    soff = soft.
    “I’m a unit” = “I am crazy, don’t mess with me.”

  55. Oh and just to be clear

    “soff cunts” (or soft) is the equivalent to calling someone a “pussy”.

  56. I thought “I’m a unit” meant you were big or well built.
    I have heard of big girls called a unit.

    Either way, stupid to call yourself a unit.

  57. I haven’t heard ‘unit’ in years and it was always “you’re a fucking unit mate!” or “watch out, he’s a unit.” – so I could be wrong.

    I miss the combination insults from back in my day too. “swamp donkey” was a popular one with the girls, “fuck knuckle” (which I still hear from tine to time) was popular with the boys. Ah memories.

  58. Butt pirate, wank jockey, splooge wagon are all good ones.

    KnowDoubt is defs right. Soff = soft, they just can’t articulate very well.

  59. I bow to your superior knowledge “Old Timer” :)

  60. FAIL PIC. Pic’s comments: tl;dr

  61. Gotta love what striking schools first with budget cuts has done for people around the world

  62. How come no one has yet to mention Cum Bucket? Or Cum dumpter? Those are my favorit ways to call someone a slut.

  63. Look personally well done Christian :) but ur forgetting one important thing; u cant win an argument with an idiot because they never know when they’ve lost :P sometimes all u can do is walk away shaking ur head and wondering in amazement how they even know how to work a computer lol

  64. Not sure how Christian is being arrogant here :S Why should the polite and civilised of our society bend over to the uncultured fuck-wits that we are faced with on a day to day basis?
    The only things which bother me about this post are:
    1. People like that are actively breeding.
    2. He clearly went to a lot of effort phrasing that in a simple yet articulate way and the dumb bint couldn’t even be so courteus as to fucking read it. That shit’s just rude.

    Hats off to you sir!!!

  65. @naynay104 Actually the term ‘shit cunt’ is used in Britain. I’ve heard it where I live. I hate the town I live in now it’s become a shithole since I was little.

  66. @rainbowcubes87 I live in Britain, but I’ve never heard that used (though I do live in a shithole).
    I don’t want to seem like I’m contradicting you or anything by the way, I’m just curious as to where you live?

  67. Check out also the ‘youse’ (misspelt as use), plural of ‘you’, which I’ve heard of only in bogan Australia. :D

  68. @67 – “Youse” (and “ya’s”) for plural of “you” is pretty popular in parts of the US as well. I’m aware of its use in some bits of the South and I’m sure it is also scattered about in other regions but *shrugs* I have heard it many times. xP

  69. If Chloe was edumacated and knew her punctuation, she could have simply put “tl;dr,” which is essentially what she said. That would have been a much better burn to talkie sister Christian.

    I do think if any of my friends got a misspelled tat, I’d never mention it. Like getting a bad rug or bad fake boobs. Just say, “Nice,” and move on.

    Doesn’t this tattoo look shitty, regardless of grammar? I’d say the artist was inexperienced (or drunk).

    “love where your at.” Don’t mind sentences that end with prepositions, with this one “at” exception. “Where you at?” grates on the mind.

    I want to chainfuck Chloe, that free-spirited hellcat.

  70. @ Fletch…if you was edumacated you could have simply said…im a southern reject that takes in the ass…for free.

    If any of my friends got a mispelled tattoo they would NEVER, hear the end of it. Pfft. Call yourself a friend? A shit one, maybe. oh, (regardless of grammar)

    @Britishhobo…you may be from the better of the european area, if in fact you are from GB, but, you comment far too many times for you to have an actual life that involves lIVING human beings but which also disincludes dead or alive animals :/ was gunna stop there but decided you deserved another “:/”

  71. @Shelley- I’ve lived all over the South and I’ve never heard “youse” anywhere but the Northeast US. “Ya’ll/y’all” is used in the South instead, though… :)

  72. Australians. Schoolies is the end of year break I think and ÿouse is common.. also they’re morons…

  73. I was 18 when I finished high school, back when I started you had to be 5 or turning 5 by June 30th to start grade prep that year. They’ve since changed it in that you have to be 5 or turning 5 by April 30th to start grade prep.. at least that’s the way it is in Victoria. My brother and I were both born in August, we were both 18 the last few months of school, my sister was born in April, she finished this year and is only 17.

    As for tattoo’s and age restrictions, there are plenty of tattoo shops where I live that will tattoo a minor with parental consent, like when my best friend and I got our first tatt’s together, she was only 17 so her mum came with us.

    These people make me ashamed to be a human, let alone Australian.. Christian is my kinda people though, I too am one of those annoying people that need to point out spelling mistakes in peoples posts.. But I only do it to close friends who I know can hack it! LOL!

  74. There’s always that friend request or two that we don’t completely think through, then we feel obligated to keep them in our little world.

    I’m trying to overcome this. :)

  75. hey, i know these people, to clear things up:
    christians first comment was ” *you’re ” , christian is a guy, we are in australia (victoria, embarrassingly with many bogans like sarah, chole and ‘bob’ in our town) and he went to school with sarah, not Bob.
    BTW, incase you’re interested, Sarah didn’t even go near Christian on schoolies, so no fucking his shit up…
    and also, seeing that this was put on lamebook made my week :)

  76. It saddens me that this is the level of intelligence coming out of the Australian schooling system.
    Christian is definitely the kind of person I could be friends with. I never have the guts to point out spelling errors in FB posts, let alone do it with that much class.

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