Monday, June 14, 2010

Wonderful One-Liners

previous post: A Few FTWs

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52 Comments

  1. Paint_my_nails_please

    Boobs — making a difference.

  2. I had the pleasure of staring at a rather nice pair of boobs on the train this morning, I know where you’re coming from Kristen

  3. Meh to all of them. Can anyone clue me in to the second? I don’t see the humor in it?

  4. Kaktus, I dunno… She means stop hogging the bandwidth with p*rn. It’s not really funny- but lame that people are so giggly about it to send it in and publish on here.

  5. Kaktus – I’m thinking that using the internet at 1am is likely to be porn-related :) Particularly in the case of male students!

  6. I kind of liked the first one, for shock value. Hope he isn’t serious though, you never know.

  7. Ben!

  8. krasivaya_devushka

    Oh Nathan, even if you are that “desprite”, you shouldn’t be posting that on your wall.

  9. de sprite, that is spanish, right?

  10. Thanks. I assumed that’s what it meant, but it sounded…normal? I don’t know, maybe I’m just desensitized.

  11. @dcrearview… i thought it was that massive burp required to release all the gas built up after downing a large amount of sprite..

  12. Kristen sounds fat.

  13. Confucius (~500 BC) – “Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it”

    Kristen (2010 AD) – “Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it…unless it’s huge boobs”

  14. Kristen, girlfriend, how depressed can you be if your boobs can cheer you up? Unless they’re REALLY huge…

  15. Oh Phillipa, its just the boys playing Call of Duty…porn isn’t gonna take up THAT much bandwith as to ruin your episode of Twee.

  16. @ FarQ and teo

    ‘The heavy is the root of the light;
    The still is the lord of the restless.
    Therefore the gentleman when travelling all day
    Never lets the heavily laden chest out of sight.’

    Lao Tzu

  17. I am depressing
    People are annoyed by me
    Wait, i have big boobs

    -Kaktus (2010AD)

  18. Maybe they thought 2 was lame because she’s complaining about people wasting bandwidth when she’s just trying to watch Glee which isn’t exactly a good use of it… I’m assuming she’s at college though. Still kind of eh.

    For some reason I assumed Nathan had just made up some new profile and posted it on a group, maybe about sex. I mean, imagine just sharing that with all your friends :| Especially those who could tell her what he’s said. Then again who cares, she sounds kinda like a bitch.
    Not to judge or anything.

  19. Samantha still has a fucking VCR??

    And big boobs suck. I never have understood the fascination with them. Sure, they’re squishy and fun, but they get in the way and by the time you’re 50 they’ll be sagging to your knees and look gross.

  20. Kristen= Future porn actress. Or stripper.

    Tom= Needs to die in a fire.

    Philipa= …The person who submitted this, and the one who approved it… they’re 12, aren’t they? “Heehee, she’s talking about porn! Heehee!”

    Samantha= Ouch. That’s why we don’t host parties. All of our friends would do stupid shit like that.

    Joe= Haha, allergies.

    Nathan= Well, at least he’s aware he’s subpar and willing to accept it. How many idiot guys are all “Psssh! I’m not bad in bed, there must be something wrong with her.”

  21. Haha Kristen. Made my day.

  22. alordslums – Fantastic!
    kaktus – I love haikus

    Assistance needed
    Vaginas baffle Nathan
    Please help, he’s desprite

  23. robotninjazombiebear

    Who the hell still has VCR’s?

  24. samantha.

  25. kristen is an attention whore… nathan is just an idiot.

  26. The only thing that sticks out to me from these posts is VCR hahaha I bet most kids of the new generation don’t even know what that is now…

  27. The boobs thing was in no way an original thought by Kristen. I’ve had icons that say that for years now. Most the others were not funny either. Sometimes this site fails hard :(

  28. @Lulz…are you sad that you don’t have big boobs? Wah.

    atleast even saggy 50 year old big boobs still have some oomph to it. Unlike small tits that do also sag..and at 50…would need to be wound up, being as they would be flat..and saggy.

    Anyways.

    I don’t get why Samantha doesn’t have a sense of humor. That would be funny to do..and funny to find in the morning…looking at both sides of it.

  29. Nathan should make up his mind. If you don’t want your girlfriend to finish, just keep doing what you’re doing.

    That was really the best I could squeeze out of these.

  30. tango alpha delta oscar

    Tom, why drown them than turn them to chinese steamed buns??? at least you got food that way.

    Kristen, yes… boobs… make things… good.

  31. I am disgusted with Tom… the correct word to use is FEWER, not “less.” Tsk, tsk.

  32. bollywood_rocks83

    Well,Kristen,the thought of waiting a week for my special order bras depress me.

    Nathan, that’s what Yahoo answers is for. Besides, that question on yahoo would be one of the saner and smarter ones.

    Maybe the person who put the panini in the VCR thought that was the new innovative microwave. :)

  33. Whoa, kritz0, no need to be a cunt for no reason.

  34. Tom is using the old kitten trick

    My dad used to tell us to go to school and tell all the kids he was going to drown our kittens if someone didn’t take them. Worked every time. They all think “that horrible man!” and they take one. He never did drown any….

    Nowadays we have this wonderful thing called spaying and neutering though…..so much easier

  35. I am jealous of Kristen. I wish my boobs made things better. Alas, they do not.

  36. The male versoin to Kristen’s comment:
    When everyone are evil and they mock
    I’ll just be glad i have a huge c**k

  37. OMG! these are f**king funny as.

    lol @bollywood and the microwave.

  38. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Porn, despite being a vulgar, artistic wasteland (I’m not complaining, you don’t watch it for it’s artistic value), still has more credibility than Glee.

    I hate that show with such a passion.
    I started watching an episode, to see what all the fuss was about… I stared at the screen, literally open-mouthed in disgust for a good 10 minutes, before the ad break snapped me out of my trance…

    …I’m pretty sure pornstars actually spend less time faking ‘it’ than the Glee cast.

  39. Lol I think Tom could be charged with attempted animal cruelty posting that, even if he was joking.. facebook posts hold up in courts now.

  40. glee is some fat cat realising they made an absolute tonne out of high school musical – then just deciding to do the same game again but pitch it to people a couple of (mental) years older.

    doozy.

  41. I HATE GLEE.

  42. CommentsAtLarge

    @ee

    Boobs always make things better (don’t believe me, take your top off next time you are arguing with your special someone – argument over).

  43. “And big boobs suck. I never have understood the fascination with them. Sure, they’re squishy and fun, but they get in the way and by the time you’re 50 they’ll be sagging to your knees and look gross”

    Lulz, your female aren’t you ;-)

  44. Phillipa stop hogging the bandwidth by c**p

  45. Tom, don’t drown the kittens. Just give them to a Korean restaurant. You know, circle of life and all that shit.

  46. One of my colleagues does a pitch perfect Jimmy Carr impression. Just as I opened this lamebook page, he came by to ask my opinion about a work related issue. We started talking and he glanced at my screen and inadvertently read Tom’s status update.
    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard in my life.

  47. Tom is an asshole.

  48. Glee is shit. |:

  49. spanish_harlem: I’m glad I’m not alone on that one. I don’t begrudge anyone their joys in life but I’m just not one to be entertained by musicals. I love music but the ‘musical’ is a painful experience for me.

    I hope Tom’s joking to get the kittens out the door but who knows, it happens all the time. Spay your damn animals!!!

  50. Yes Kristen hugh boobs do make things better, mostly for guy like me though and lesbians.

  51. i REALLY hope that “TOM” is kidding .. or someone needs to report him. FORREAL

  52. araucariaaraucana

    I hope all kittens drowned.

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