Wednesday, February 24, 2010

WINSday (part 1)

previous post: Good Lord…

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73 Comments

  1. Ben!

  2. lol @ days!

    Free the Whales!

  3. My ten points go to … Dayswithdave

  4. Yet another ‘hilarious’ women/kitchen joke. They never wear thin. And they’ve forgotton to hide Ben’s surname – lamebook is failing, big time.

    Although, #1 – who ever thought hot sauce on their pussy would be a GOOD idea?

  5. I just noticed a Lamebook fail. One of the entries has a full name.

  6. #1′s status is stolen from TFLN, I believe.

  7. the first one is from tfln, that guys a thief http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-14033.html

  8. LOL @ gingivitis…true…there are a number of things that I just KNOW are a bad idea!

  9. Exactly! I don’t know if anyone’s ever told me not to poke myself in the eye repeatedly with a fork, I just, well, KNOW it wouldn’t be good.

  10. I accidentally hurt a girls yes yes with my fingers after eating jalapenos once !

    needless to say the term hot sex has a whole different meaning for me since then

  11. Wow! Good times, Father Sha.

  12. That is an awesome story, Father!

  13. Take my word on it … always wash your fingers and mouth after spicy foods

    You never know where they will go later on !

  14. I once had a horrible experience with bengay after giving a back rub …. and then moving on down my boyfriend to his magic wand (hint hint)without washing my hands off ……… never knew he could yell and move like that!

  15. Hahhahaha…Dizzy__Ballerina.

  16. More like FAILSday.
    Lamebook people, please start reading TFLN.
    a) its funny
    b) it will save you posting stuff that isn’t legit

  17. Thank you for pointing that out, @terpfan8991. I was going to if someone didn’t already do it. All the lameass did was switch it from college to high school.

  18. Never put salt in your eyes.

  19. Put salt in my eyes?

  20. Gaahhhh!

  21. Hey Father, I have a little Pete’s siting on my desk right now. Want to give it a go?

  22. Soup – I love you

  23. The sixth post was soooo NOT funny. Are these middle school kids?

    Father Sha, I think ALWAYS washing your hands after every meal is a good idea. ;) Girls are sensitive.

  24. Eruption of Nothing

    It’s a two way street, guys will burn with equal, um, loss of passion:)

  25. #1 is a rip off of another website: Texts from last night.

    The scary thing is, I’ll be majoring in Computer Science….>.<

  26. Yeah…I read the first one yesterday. TFLN.

  27. Well, nerd160, you must have a nice ass, you got accepted to the progaram.

  28. DaysWithDave is Frodo!

  29. Eruption of Nothing

    Sorry, new and all that, why is DaysWithDave Frodo? My sincere apologies if I ought to know this…

  30. How am I Frodo? I have a pool.

  31. Eruption of Nothing

    You see? He has a pool!

  32. #1 made me think “no one would say that in high school because no one is truly open about sex in high school”. So it makese sense that it was taken from TFLN and changed from “college” to “high school”. And when I say “open” I mean no one had a sense of humor about it enough to talk like that. Sure we all were experimenting enough and all…

    ok maybe it was just me.

  33. Eruption of Nothing

    I’m also confused as to how a bad dream should be ftw… Personally after a bad dream I lay staring at the ceiling convincing myself that he shadow in the corner isn’t moving.

  34. ariel and david sent their own in. that’s what’s truely lame

  35. Camron FTW.

  36. Fvck The Woman works better than Free The Whales in my opinion.

    @33 — I think she means the dreams got the best of her. Thus they pwned her and thus they won. It wasn’t her FTW, it was the dream’s.

  37. Eruption of Nothing

    @ThePurpleApple Ah, I see, that certainly makes more sense.

  38. here’s the first one but on TFLN.

    http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-14033.html

    starting to think most of these are fake.

  39. I don’t know what Ariel is talking about. Kelsey completed her status. Kelsey gave it a reason to exist.

  40. Hot sauce? Man, his and hers KY was way too much for me. I would have to flood my good good with milk to cool it down after hot sauce.

  41. these sexist men nowadays are so gay…the kitchen joke is old as hell. good thing i’m married to a REAL man, and our marriage is 50/50 when it comes to household responsibilities. if my husband is willing to help out around OUR house (since both of us have careers)…then i’m willing to do more for him in other ways ;)

  42. Salamiflavoredspider

    FatherSha’s story about jalapeños is very similar to one in the book “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” by Tucker Max. Either this is a common mistake… or someone ELSE stole a story.

  43. @southerngirl

    Is it 50/50 for ALL household responsibilities?

    When I was married, we were 50/50 on dishes/cooking/cleaning/laundry and such… but when it came to “manly stuff”, like taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, fixing things around the house, replacing windshield wipers, and getting on the roof to clean the gutters (things she COULD HAVE done), it was 100% me.

    Looking back, we evenly split the “traditionally female” things and I did all the “traditionally male” things.

    She thought of herself as a “modern woman” fighting for equal rights, but she was just a spoiled girl that wanted to be treated like a princess, at the expense of others.

  44. And of course, using sex to get what you want. Nothing like an enlightened woman to break through the stereotypes. As long as it is on her terms.

  45. @mcowles

    sadface. spoiled princesses FTL.

  46. @mcowles, MOST things are 50/50 including yardwork…and i can definitely handle things like taking out the trash and changing windshield wipers and what-not, lol. i’m definitely not spoiled, but i don’t think women should sit on their asses all day…or have to do everything. it’s just not fair unless everything is shared.

    @ soup, why was my comment bad? because i’m his WIFE and want to?! no the STEREOTYPICAL woman nowadays uses sex to get material things she wants…that’s not me!!! i’m a one-man woman and do it because i love my husband. so what if every once in a while i do it just because he’s done something nice for me…and not just because i want to? no need to be a jerk.

  47. I use sex to get what I want all the time. Not that my is man lazy, but he needs a little shove every once in a while to get stuff done. I find nothing wrong with this!

  48. @dawnstar

    haha, if you’re a spoiled princess, just admit it… I’m fine with that. Just don’t claim to be a “modern woman”, when you’re not.

    I’ll treat you like a princess, as long as you make me dinner and clean more than 50%.

    Or I’ll treat you like a woman, and we can split EVERYTHING 50/50.

    Your choice.

  49. @eenerbl

    I gave you a piece of gum and you flashed me your what-what… There’s no telling what you’d do if I cooked you dinner unexpectedly.

  50. ha ha mcowles, very true. I haven’t had a dinner cooked for me in a long time! I’d do a whole lot!

  51. Eruption of Nothing

    There is nothing wrong with using sex to get what you want from men.
    We deserve to run around doing whatever we’re asked if we’re stupid enough to do it simply because our brain lost the vote deciding if it is a fair trade off to do it in exchange for the promised (or implied, or believed, or made up in their head due to the large breasts which seem to be the only objects in the vicinity) gratification.

  52. @southerngirl

    There’s nothing wrong with offering enticements or rewards. But when you claim a certain gender role is sexist, then turn around and say your husband gets rewarded for doing what should already be expected in a 50/50 partnership, it kind of refutes your position. More than likely, it’s just my interpreting your words as opposed to your intent.

    And I am a jerk, it’s one of my most endearing qualities.

  53. @mcowles

    No no, dear, I said f.t.LOSE. I’m not a f*cking princess, nor would I ever expect anyone to treat me as such.
    I meant that your post made me want to give you a hug.

  54. @ soup, sorry if i got too hot-headed…sometimes i need to chill the f*** out, lol. but i was simply referring to the type of men that create all these “women should be in the kitchen” jokes and fan pages, i wasn’t referring to ALL men. and i was also talking about the times when my husband goes beyond the 50/50 and voluntarily does extra, then i will be more than happy to reward him (and vice versa :) but i felt like you were saying that i ONLY do that when he gives me what i want, and that is definitely not what i was saying.

  55. Lapis Lazuli Long

    Making sure everything is split 50/50 is sure to cause problems. Who’s going to keep track of who did what? And what is it’s not possible? In my relationship, I make more money. So I pay for the important things (rent, bills, food) and he pays for fun things. And we go to a lot of shows and drink a lot. I do most of the female duties (cause I’m better at them) but that just makes me more thankful and impressed when he chooses to do laundry or the dishes. I do miss setting up electronics but apparently that’s a mans job and I can’t touch.

  56. @lapis, i don’t take 50/50 too literal and keep up with all that. all of our money goes into the same account and we pay all bills and everything 50/50, and date nights and fun stuff are taken out of the same account as well. as for house stuff if he mows the yard then i might wash the cars, if i cook he might do the dishes, if i do laundry he might hang/fold it. that’s what i meant. and as for the electronics that is all ME because i’m the only one who knows how to hook up the ps3, xbox 360, satellite, flatscreen, and make it all work :) :):)

  57. @southerngirl

    This is why I generally avoid real topics and try to stick with crude, offensive, fairly obvious references to bodily fluids and functions. Like Dad always said, my mouth is like my Mother’s vagina: it’s just a hole that disappointments come out of.

  58. Hey DayswithDave, I remember a while ago dcrearview called me both gay and Frodo.
    I thought it was funny considering I’m a straight female who absolutely loves men.
    As for being Frodo, well I guess I’m semi Frodo. I did have a pool, but the ex got it in the settlement, and he’s fucking welcome to it. Too much work, I never wanted a pool in the first place.

  59. lmao @ soup :) and i usually don’t even comment on this site, but i did today and then ended up having a full conversation on here, lol. i’ve gotta get off here and get some work done before 5!!!

  60. @dawnstar

    I figured that… I meant more if someone is a princess, just admit it… not you.

    I can tell you’re far from a princess (in a good/dirty way), haha.

  61. Hahaha, mcowles

    Again, your investigative skills are spot on. I’m more like a Duke….a kick-ass Duke.

    (yes, that was an obscure reference. If anybody gets it, they win twelve awesome points)

  62. Daisy Duke?

  63. oooh, fail.

  64. The only kick-ass Duke I know is Duke Nukem. Just sayin’.

  65. Duke Howlett?

  66. jb? kg?
    tenacious d?
    ‘city hall’

    …i guess it was just too obscure.

  67. Jack Black and Kenny G
    Together, we are Tenacious D!

    Do you still love me dawn? Even with missing that obviously obscure reference?

  68. ahh, mcowles

    A love this pure could never be marred by one missed reference!
    (Although, I’m really hoping that Kenny G statement was a joke….)

    @Rivers

    “….and I’m all out of bubblegum”

  69. “these sexist men nowadays are so gay”

    …so they’re hiding latent homosexual tendencies by asserting excessive dominance over women? Never heard that theory before, but it does make sense.

  70. Oh, a joke about how women should be in the kitchen, that’s definitely a win. Damn original, to boot.

  71. Hot sauce on the GudGud? Her boyfriend is a politician in the making if he could con her into that one. Ha.

    Roddy Piper in ‘They Live’ said, “I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum.” I don’t think his name in the movie was Duke. John Wayne was pretty kick ass. And Frank Dux (Dukes), who the movie “Bloodsport” was written about.

    I got a woman/kitchen joke.

    Why did the woman cross the road?

    Who cares. Why is she out of the kitchen, and where’d she get those shoes?

  72. Yes, as everyone has pointed out, #1 is from TFLN – but also, that text was verified fake. SO FUCKING FAKE! Not only who would put hot sauce on their pussy, but say at school, ‘hot sauce on my pussy was a bad idea!’

  73. First one may be fake on both accounts, but we can’t rule out the possibility. Many of the most foolish ideas in the world start with the question of “what if?”, which then quickly becomes “what was I smoking?!” Curiosity peaks, and we hear about it on the evening news. Not to mention that common sense is probably just waiting for someone to put it out of its misery by now.

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