Friday, April 2, 2010

Wins for Your Weekend!

previous post: April Fools Wrap-Up



  1. hootie the blowfish

    Brett’s a dick.

  2. hootie the blowfish

    Shezan is hilarious, though.

  3. Loving Courtney :)

  4. Oh man, look at all those Biblebashers..

  5. Brett’s awesome!

  6. I want to be friends with Shezan!

    Uneducated twats like Lisa and Jennifer f@(&ing piss me off. Oh, boo hoo, I want the rest of the world to bend to my will, even though I’m not sure there’s even a problem, and I’m far too lazy to actually look into or do anything about it, but the sky is definitely falling. Wahhh.

    Brett FTW.

  7. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @ Miss shegas, I was thinking the same thing.

  8. CanIHasFrenchToast

    I watched a hippo poop last night..o.O

  9. Shezan rules.

  10. I hope Llisa adds dihydrousoxide to her pamphlet; that stuff is dangerous.

  11. I definitely like Brett. Lisa, they are your lovely pets..not your neighbor’s annoying problem; it is rude to let your dog shit in someone’s yard and not clean it up.

  12. Brandy, she’s a fine girl, and my fave. :)

  13. What’s up with #3? Why is the font different? Maybe I’m missing something here, but it looks like someone made a fake one to appear cool.

    Brett wins all.

  14. @ NormanEinstien.

    If you were trying to be funny and say the chemical formula of H20. It’s dihydrogen monoxide.

  15. Brandy wanted to call Jenni a stupid douchebagger/teabagger cunt, but she decided to be more creative and work with what Jenni gave her.

    Brandy wins.

  16. I’m with Miss Shegas. I get so sick of the crap I have to listen to on matters like Lisa’s and Jennifer’s. “Oh, no, there might be something for my dog/baby to get into on my neighbor’s lawn!!1oneone! I must educate them!” Bull. If you’re so worried about it, keep your precious dogs and kids at your germ-free, chemical-free, dirt-free house and off my lawns and parks. Team Brett all the way.

  17. Marshall is awesome. I LOLed out loud :)

  18. you laughed out loud, out loud?

  19. yep

  20. Shezan’s the (wo)man!! lol

  21. Huh. I thought I left a comment here, but apparently not.

    Anyway, clean up your dog’s shit.
    That is all.

  22. @Blaziken They’ve just zoomed out (ctrl & scroll). It’s not good enough to be a fake anyway.

    Shezan FTW

  23. Lisa screams overprotective parent to me (even if it’s just a dog). I used to deal with the fuckers on a daily basis and you can spot the things from a mile away. I’d hate to see her with actual children.

    Jenni, If you want to discuss the health care bill/politics/religion/etc. on your FB, you’re guaranteed douchebaggery.

  24. austin 3:16

  25. I actually agree with Brett. It’s just rude to have your dogs poop on other people’s lawns and then not clean it up afterwards. :/

  26. Lisa, lawn sprays……seriously?!?! Heres a thought…..keep your f#@king dogs off other peoples lawns.

  27. Maybe Lisa and Jennifer should hand out flyers to passing motorists too, asking them to keep their smelly old cars off the roads while they’re out walking. And only put out for Prius drivers.

  28. I thought pretentious twats like Lisa and Jennifer carried their “pups” in stupid little purses or those obnoxious pet strollers so their wittle feetsie weetsies don’t get dirty!
    PS I love Trent and Jacob!

  29. I agree that owners need to clean up after their dogs. I also agree that Lisa seems annoyingly overprotective.

    However, the point is they are talking about SPRAYS people put on their lawns… which means they are in the AIR too… which means you don’t have to actually step on the lawn to breathe it in. So, cleaning up after her dogs has literally nothing to do with what she’s talking about.

  30. @gr_on23 – I read her comment the same way you did. My suggestion to her is not to alienate her neighbours with (what I can only imagine to be obnoxious) flyers – but to lobby her municipal leaders and her government to ban the use of chemical sprays and pesticides. The province I live in (Ontario) has done this – you cannot even buy it from the store shelves. Only licensed lawn care companies are allowed to use it – and then, only in certain situations.
    Anyboring – her need to send “an informational flyer” to her neighbours suggests to me that she thinks she is educating the masses with her brilliant idea – BUT she is on FB looking to her friends to send her information to help in the education since she really has no clue and is talking out of her ass.

  31. Unless she is walking her dogs right as they are spraying, the particulate falls back to earth pretty quickly. And only if the animals are stopping to lick themselves after going into the yard is that any concern. If she/they are that worried about it, giving the pets a bath after would cure that. But assuming that the neighbors would change they way they care for their lawn is just asinine. And most localities I know of don’t use harmful sprays in public parks.

  32. I hate idiots like Lisa….. I too try to keep my lawn in pristine condition, fertilizer, aerating, overseeding, etc….
    And because it looks so nice, EVERY fucking neighborhood dog seems to like to take a shit and piss on it….

    Usually they pick it up (so kind of them…) sometimes they don’t….
    I really appreciate the yellow grass that is left behind from all of the piss…..

    Thanks to Lisa, I have come up with an idea to put one of the signs warning of a “harmful chemical spray” that may be fatal to animals on my lawn all summer, in hopes of keeping my grass green!

    P.S Lisa, how ’bout letting your dog piss/shit on you grass?

    Would it be wrong if I took a steaming dump on their lawn? ( I will of course clean it up after…) I’m thinking of doing this to a particular neighbor who “forgets” to pick up after their dog….
    P.P.S Keep in mind I want to do this after the Corn on the Cob fest

  33. As a dog owner, I find it very important to not impose my pet-ownership hangups on other people. I keep my dog on a leash at all times, except in designated dog parks, pick up after him (which is easier on a sidewalk than in someones garden) and pull him close so as to give way when others pass.

    What people do on their own property is up to them (as long as its legal), and it is my responsibility as a dog owner to make sure that my dog is as non-annoying to others as possible.

    You could just return the poop.. Via their mail box…

  34. iddjit:
    I don’t have a yard and even I don’t let my dogs do anything on people’s personal property. I make sure that they pee on the strip of grass between sidewalk and road (city property) and I don’t even let them poop on the ground (stoop and catch, not stoop and scoop). Still, pesticide sprays don’t just get on the owners’ lawns: they blow onto the sidewalk, that strip of grass and even further. Even if I keep my dogs totally off other people’s property (which I do), I have to wipe their paws when I get home because they’ve likely walked through pesticide and might end up ingesting it. There’s plenty of options that aren’t poisonous to children or animals. The city I live in has actually banned the ones that are poisonous because they were contaminating city parks and rivers, despite the fact that the city never used them. I appreciate that homeowners have the right to care for their lawn and want dog-owners to keep their animals off of them, but poisoning everything isn’t the answer.

    However, I would second Shadowpolish’s suggestion that you return the dog waste to the neighbour. I personally like to leave it on the stoop, but the mail box is a very good idea. Idiot dog owners like that give every one of us a bad name. Not all owners let their dogs go on other people’s property and even fewer don’t pick-up but those that don’t just keep accumulating it so that it looks like more than one dog is leaving all that waste.

  35. Brett: what does dog defecation have to do with spreading awareness about poisonous chemicals in your neighborhood? Oh, that’s right, ignorant is the new “smart”, being angry is the new “debate”, and new ideas are the weapons of the awareness terrorists. You’ve kept your country safe…. this time.

  36. Man, there sure are a lot of folks in this article (as well as Brett) that presume that Lisa is irresponsible with her pet’s leavings. Just because she’s concerned about poison on peoples’ lawns, doesn’t mean she lets her dogs onto peoples’ lawns. I know a few people who could use a copy of Lisa’s pamphlet when she’s done putting it together.

  37. #35, Exactly!

    While she may not let dogs shit on other peoples’ lawn she still passes it when going for a walk. I have no dog, but I see them walk around, they have to smell everything on their way.

  38. Brett and Jenni are both retarDed

  39. Yea, people on lamebook seem to be trying way too hard to find things to rag on people for.

  40. Shezan is amazing. After yet again another shitty day. He was here to make me smile.

    Dog shit. Interesting… I have nothing to add to that.

  41. Elizabeth Bathory

    My favorite verse?
    “Yo Moses next time u c the ppl tell them your climbing a mountain an killin urself coz u opened facebook account”

  42. so..i just created an account to say that while shezan has the right idea, that’s the chorus of the song, not a verse. oh well. still funny.

    while i’m here, jacob’s cardigan comment is great. as well as the colonel sanders thread.

  43. I don’t understand why Brett has so much anger. There is nothing about Lisa’s post that implies she lets her dogs crap all over people’s lawns. Is he ACTUALLY her neighbour and knows it to be fact?

    That said, it must be great to live in her world where this is all she has to do with her time – despite her protestations of business. I look forward to seeing her pamphlet on “Passive Aggressive Notes” very soon…(

    Shezan made me laugh out loud :) Brilliant

  44. @ Sunny & Einstein: Actually, Those are both the same word for a chemical found in acid rain. Oh and it’s Dihydrous oxide.

    The Facts: Also called hydroxl acid or dihydrous oxide, it is a component of acid rain. It contributes to the “greenhouse effect.” It may cause severe burns as a vapor. It contributes to the erosion of our beautiful natural landscape. Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals and may be affecting your car. Causes electrical failure and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. It has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients. (I had to do a report for school.)
    So I might be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure your both wrong.

  45. Haha yeah or water. Dihydrous oxide (H2o) I heard that the original report called “how gullible are we?” the student actually got a senator to sign a petition against h2o.

  46. #26 Stilton FTW! Shezan FTW also. Though I’m pretty sure it was unintentional.

    I love the irony in here.

  47. Its called dihydrogen monoxide, and it is also deadly if inhaled, and can cause sickness when ingested in large quantities, or in mexico….

  48. Oh yeah and that kid who did that project got like 100 people at his science fair to sign the petition. sigh…

  49. What’s Marshall talking about?? Fingers are a girls best friend, however for me it’s my fists all the way ;)

  50. Sure you discuss politics when you have a wide range of friends who are opposite of you. that’s what makes it fun!

  51. lol

  52. shezan and trent <3 <3

  53. Brent is an asshole, just like people before me have said, there is nothing said that leaves us to believe that Lisa doesn’t pick up her dog’s shit. If you dont want a random dog to piss on your lawn, then put a short fence up, if they care that much, they need to pull the stick out of their ass. If someone is using chemicals on their lawn, they should put a sign that shows it, if I see a sign saying a treatment was used I don’t let my dog on the lawn. COMMON SENSE PEOPLE.
    Also, I hope it was Brent that submitted that one, instead of trying to be the funny guy, he turns out to be a dick.

  54. Shez, you did it girl! :-)

  55. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    What, 53 comments in and no-one seems to have mentioned the relevance of seeing ‘retarTed’ on this site, given the history. Man, I’ve been away too long – all the oldies have deserted!

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