Friday, February 12, 2010

Wins for Your Weekend (+ a Fail Bonus)

previous post: Pertrice the Piece



  1. Pandas are the best.

  2. Oh Dave. However, judging by the time stamp, he may have done this intentionally.

  3. Of course he did. And THAT’S why it should be on Lamebook.

  4. Pandas are also going extinct because they’re so goddamn lazy they need a human to stuff the lady bear’s junk full of bamboo tainted spooge just to continue the species.

    So remember kids, keep racism alive by banging as many people as you can to create more people like you so you can have the numerical advantage to keep those other bastards down. It’s nature.

  5. looks like present day natalie r self submitted as well, perhaps i’m daft but I feel like i need a bit more context for that one (#4).

  6. Lazy Pandas FTW! You call that lazy, I call that initiative.

  7. HAHAHA! Pandas and Fabian for the win!

  8. Pandas FTW!

  9. I have no fucking idea what’s going on in the first picture, and to be honest… I won’t lose any sleep if I never ever find out.

    Fabian is my hero. For today.

  10. I’d wipe that smile off Lee’s face quick smart if I could.
    Nothing funny about that.

  11. Lee’s just creating an alibi for the date rape he just committed.

  12. Dave definitely wrote that himself and the submitted it. It disappoints me that they would post that.

    I had a submission that was pure gold… two people fighting and the girl being extremely psycho. They don’t post that…
    but this.. they post.

    He should have at least waited until it said an hour ago.

  13. No doubt buzz – I had a submission with a guys fishing trip and when the guys passed out they shoved shampoo bottles up their ass and took pictures – like close ups – and posted it to FB. It was soooooo fucked up – but hasn’t been posted!

  14. @gawds: that’s sexual assault, you should be prosecuted.

  15. That’s vile gawds, don’t wanna know, shut it.

  16. HAHAHAH I went to school with the guy takin a shit. He would do somethin like that lol.

  17. Any man who can sleep through a SHAMPOO bottle being shoved up his ass prolly deserved it, or enjoyed it. Either one.

  18. i like how the kid in the second post is my ex.

  19. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    the natalie one confuses me.

  20. And people say Facebook is useless. Seems Natalie R was able to discover a time warp in the internet. All and all, Lee supports Date Rape and having a passed out drunk girl smell like shit.

  21. I wonder if Natalie has severe multiple personality disorder?

  22. @nashntth: gawds should be prosecuted for something somebody else did?

  23. Dave here :-D yeah the status itself was intentional, but I’m disappointed everyone thinks I uploaded my status personally :-( Impressed one of my mates out there thought to do it so quickly though!

  24. Shut up, Dave.

  25. @wordpervert: What’s not funny about a drunken chick passed out on a bathroom floor while some dude takes a dump?

    I’m guessing you’ve been in that chick’s position a few too many times?

  26. Thanks for stickin up for me Britishhobo. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. It was apparently a group of straight married men as well. I still can’t believe it’s still posted to his FB, and that the victim hasn’t killed anyone over it yet.
    @wordpervert: why do you even visit lamebook if you’re so offended by everything?!

  27. @gawds: I’m surprised nobody’s been killed either :P Sounds fucked up. How old are they?

  28. The shampoo bottle thing is pretty messed up, but the guy pooping next to the passed out girl is pretty funny!

  29. @BritishHobo: I went to elementary school with the guy who posted. They’d all be just around 30. The series of photos includes the guy passed out with FU written on his back in shampoo, then a couple close ups of a guy tea-bagging him, then a close up pic of his hairy ass with a shampoo bottle inserted. The guy is tagged in the pics and everything too. Who would allow that?! Or post it?!! None of it’s censored either – and I’ve seen kids bathtub photos censored by FB!!!

  30. Very little offends me gawds, but sexual assault and/or the debasement of another person does. It has no place on lamebook, facebook, or anywhere else.
    Your buddy who posted those pictures on facebook sounds like a really great guy.
    With friends like that, one wouldn’t need any enemies.

  31. Jesus Christ, gawds, that’s so fucked up. What the hell kind of thirty year old does stuff like that? Do you know how the guy reacted? I’d hope badly, but you never know with the sort of stuff that’s Lamebook worthy.

  32. @wordpervert: I’m not saying your wrong, but your comment reminded me of something I’m SURE I once saw on this site, that was gone next time I checked. Was there a post with a picture of a guy in a bathtub who was severely injured? For a moment I thought he might have been dead, but I didn’t think that would have been put up. In any case, I didn’t look long, and it was gone the next time I logged on.

  33. I never saw that one BritishHobo.

  34. I saw that hobo – pants pulled down, puke all over his shirt. REALLY REALLY bad. I don’t know how the guy reacted. I don’t know the guy – just the guy who posted who I don’t even know anymore – went to elementary with him, haven’t seen him since (15 years ago or so). I can’t imagine the guy reacted too badly though, because he’s still tagged in the pics, and they’re still up. Insane.

  35. I don’t like bursting bubbles but it’s common knowledge that pandas hate Mexicans – I think that makes pandas racist. I don’t know where they fit in the scale of racist animals, but I doubt they are they least racist.

  36. Dude, the proper nomenclature is Mexican-American. Please.

    And doesn’t everyone hate Mexicans?

  37. I don’t mind Mexican – Americans a bit. I’d hate to have to mow my own lawn, and mix my own concrete!

  38. @brianadexec
    I find mexicans to be very good people most the time, unless they are thug as fuck. And don’t give me that Mexican-American bullshit, it’s not like every mexican lives in america, and its definetly not like they all have a green card. Just Sayin.

  39. PosterformerlyknownasTristan

    Yay, time to put the boot to political correctness!

    You are not Mexican-American unless you were born in a latin country and then migrated to the US. Same with you damn African-Americans. A black guy born in Detroit is NOT an African-American, he is a black American. My friend’s father is an African-American cause he was born in Kenya, so I have no problems calling him that.

    /start sarcasm

    So that means I am German-American since my family originated from Germany but I was born in Washington state and have never been to Germany in my life, so the government better give me my political correctness dues! I want to be represented too!

    /end sarcasm

  40. gawds, I hate to state the obvious, but if you’re so disgusted by the photos posted by your old school friend, why not report them? I’m fairly certain that facebook would remove them if they were aware of them.

  41. @ Bryan
    Popular movie quote recognition fail.
    What’s up hyper-sensitive PC-censers.

  42. I have to agree with nashntth and wordpervert, sexual assault is nothing to joke about…but let’s face facts, the chicky poo (pun intended) passed out in the bathroom and got what is probably a very sober reminder about why one should not pass out in the bathroom. It could have been a worse and not funny fate, but the poo pic is priceless!!

  43. Well, if you’re going to pass out, then doing it right next to the toilet isn’t a bad place to do it. You’re at least near by when you have to puke.
    And lets not forget that I’d rather someone take a picture of a silly drunk girl passed out in a bathroom instead of the silly drunk girl getting behind the wheel of a car and killing someone.

  44. good point Lilac…and that’s why I frequent lamebook and not……

  45. @ammonia
    My bad, Dude.

  46. @ ammonia
    his bad, El Duderino.


  47. PSA for all the geography flunkouts: Mexico is in America. Candy to the first one to figure that one out!

  48. Bah. My Facebook homepage is filled with a load of smug, happy bastards. Why hasn’t Lamebook uploaded any of them for me to bitterly scoff at and make myself feel better?

  49. @lolitaz8, Mexico is in the continent of North America, but it’s not an American Country as in part of the USA, it is a completely different country. Therefore 39.PosterformerlyknownasTristan was correct in saying you can be Mexican-American if you’ve moved to the USA from Mexico, but if you’re a Mexican living in Mexico, then your nationality is not American

  50. @ lolita..They mean the United States of America… don’t sound smart, even though that’s what you were going for. You know that when people say American they mean from the United States of America. You wouldn’t call a black guy who was born and raised in Mexico an “African-American”. I’m sorry that everybody adopted the term “American” for US citizens…get the fuck over it.

    p.s. you don’t deserve candy…

  51. yea I’m sure people in Mexico call black people born in Mexico “African-uh-Mexicans”….

  52. @ DazeyDuke.
    You wouldn’t call a black guy who was born and raised in the States an “African American” either. You would call them an American, that is there nationality. Otherwise a Black American if you would like to bring race into the equation, as it is the officially recognised term. The term African American neglects black people who do not originate from africa, such as the Caribbean. Plus African American is an ethnic group not a race. I really hate it when people say majority rules “get the fuck over it”. Just because everyone thought the world was flat didn’t make it so. You don’t sound very smart either ;)

  53. Forget it, Bryan, you’re out of your element.

    Shit lamebook, 51 posts and I think no one has mentioned the misspelled racistt thing yet? oops.

    I heard panda’s “can’t fuck to save their species” because the dude pandas can’t get it up. If it is because they don’t like black, white or asian girls then they are kinda racistt.

  54. Alproshazam, are you referring to captive pandas or wild ones? In the wild they can fuck just fine.

  55. chiiro
    Maybe racistt pandas get locked up.
    Maybe the budget on the panda porn I’ve been watching has no allocation for panda fluffers.
    I don’t have all the answers, but I suspect bamboo fucks with your sex drive, they should “branch out” so to speak, diet wise. I think chinese traditional herbal aphrodisiac has panda wang in it, that alone would turn me off sex whether I was panda or not…

    I’m seldom one of those folks that posts links but I just found this:

    It says that all Pandarettes have gaping vags that no Dude panda is able to satisfy.
    …and I can’t for the life of me tell if they are being serious or not…

  56. Maybe i should have read it first. My eyes darted down to the bit where it said:
    “The male panda’s penis is so short, and the female’s vagina is so long relatively, that the insemination rate is low.”

    Why would nature do that… They seem fucked from the outset. Ill equipped for survival whether captive or not. But I’m no expert on panda procreation, clearly.

    on a totally non panda genitalia note at least he didn’t shit on the chick, what’s the problem?

  57. when you gotta go, you gotta go

  58. @tcrider…that made me laugh, because I thought the same thing when I was writing it! I’m guessing in Mexico it doesn’t matter what you call them really, maybe only in America are they so proud of the fact that they are American that they insist on being called whatever/they/are-American. It sucks!

    @Davos…I wasn’t trying to sound smart. And the fact that I used the term African- American does not make me stupid, and since I know that, nothing you said offended me. I was simply pissed by the fact that lolita23 was implying that people were stupid (or, at least, too stupid to pass geography), when they weren’t really wrong in anything they said. I disagree with many things you said, and I would point them out, but I do not want this to be too long (believe it or not!)…

  59. @ DazeyDuke.

    lolita28 was right, Mexico is in America.. if anybody didn’t know that, especially the “Americans”, then yes, they probably are too stupid to pass geography.

    Somebody from Spain is both European and Spanish. I think it is fair for somebody from America (the continent) to say that they are either north, south or central american. I completely understand that the term American is widely accepted as a citizen of the U.S.A. However, I don’t agree that popularity itself should justify and make the use of the term correct.

    and yes.. using that term does infact make you stupid.

  60. Oh, and I wanted to point out that I know technically lolita is right, but she’s wrong. Much like how Hamilton won, even though Burr won the duel…

    ^For everbody’s enjoyment!

  61. Dude she/he said Mexico was in America.. No denying it. She was 100% correct and in no way was she wrong. Either Mexico is in America or it isn’t.. as simple as that. So just let it go.. Some t.v show doesn’t prove anything, it is as reliable and relevant to the conversation as a wikipedia article.

  62. p.s I love how you must have been looking for evidence to support your claims.. and in 40 minutes that is the best you could find.

  63. DazeyDuke.

    I just read your message to tcrider..

    “in Mexico it doesn’t matter what you call them” and “are they so proud of the fact that they are American that they insist on being called whatever/they/are-American” .

    Seriously? By far one of the dumbest things I have ever read. I love the us and “them” mentality. And I almost pissed my pants at your reasoning behind why people are called “whatever/they/are-American”. Dude that’s not because they are ultra-proud to be an American, because if that was the fact they would just call themselves American. They are called “whatever/they/are-American” because their nationality is U.S. but they also identify with another ethinic group such as african or indian, ect.

    Again, I am sorry to say, but as far as I am concerned, you are infact stupid ;)

  64. @davos:

    You don’t have the right to call anyone stupid. You lost that right in post #52, when you used “there” as a possessive pronoun. Therefore you are a fucking retart, and have no credibility when attacking others’ intelligence. You might as well don your red earmuffs and jacket and start inquiring loudly about the whereabouts of your baseball.

  65. *retard

  66. *retart (see previous two months’ worth of posts)

  67. @ Stretch.

    Hahaha sure thing. I made a grammatical error, you got me!! One thing, I wasn’t arguing the intelligence of DazeyDuke based on grammar, it was based upon on the ideas which I found to be incredibly stupid/ignorant. It’s the meaning behind those words which which should be judged.. not the words. So good job stretch, you got me on one word. Hahaha be proud. Sad though that you couldn’t form an opinion against my views.

  68. Haha man I really do need to proof read though, you can take out the on* after upon and the double up on the word which*. Two mistakes did my IQ just drop 20 points?

  69. @ davos what country are you from?

  70. @davos.. I noticed that you are presumetuos enough to think that all of my comments are directed at you. Take #60. Believe it or not, I had not read your comment (#59), and it was in no way meant to be a rebuttal. Did you see any @davos..oh, you didn’t? because, if I was talking to you, it would have…because that’s just how I roll…you’ll learn that. Why do you do that? Why so you assume everything? I “must have been looking for evidence to support [my] claim”?? Is that what you would do, you creepy munger.

  71. presumptuous*** I fucked that one up so bad, therefore I am now going to bed, good night, all!

  72. Thank you folks for the live reenactment of lamebook posts. I sure do get bored when nothing new goes up over the weekend, so you guys pretending to be complete f*cking retards really filled the gap.

  73. @ DazeyDuke haha, I think we can let presumptuous* slide.. it’s all good. In all honesty, today was just a particularly slow one and the arguing did feel my day.

    And as for comment 59, it was directed at me.. You and I both know that and that is all that matters. Just let it go, don’t be so sensitive. Good night DazeyDuke!

    @ nutdeep. What does that have to do with it?

  74. davos, America is not a continent. If you are referring to what most English speaking people call “the Americas” then it is made up of two continents, North America and South America. Also, Central America is a group of countries in the North American continent – so people are not either North, South or Central American. They are either South American or North American and Central American. Also, technically black people from the carribean originated from Africa the same way that black people from America originated from africa. Yes, when I say “America” I mean the USA not “the Americas” – because most people will understand that immediately. It is only annoying people like you who like to say with your annoying nasally voice that ” technically Mexico is in America.” you are a waste of my time.

  75. *the part about either South American or North American and Central American – should be either South American or North American and if they are Central American then also North American. I don’t roll on Shabbos.

  76. What Soup said.

  77. @ davos, well I was going to inform you of your geography from an American citizen’s point of view, however Walter just did an amazing job of making you look like a fucking idiot..thanks walter
    p.s. if you’re not from this country(I mean America, not Mexico, not Canada, and not Brazil), you might not want to get annoyingly techinical about things that you can’t comprehend, especially on an website based out of the most patriotic state in America, Texas
    p.p.s. dont talk so much shit to dazeyduke, its clearly a girl, and that’s and another thing we don’t do in this country

  78. Walter you are out of your element!

  79. @ Walter.
    The point I was making with caribean people, is that they do not identify with africa, thus the term african american does not do a satisfactory job of describing the group of people which you are talking about. Yeah, I do get the that the America’s are two seperate continents, I didn’t do a very good job of displaying that though. Also, Africa is the cradle of life, we all came from there, but I don’t run around saying I am african and I wouldn’t expect people to describe me as african. Just because someone is black, does not make them african by default.

    Check my spelling dude, pretty obvious that I am not an American, I am not using American-English. And just because I am not from the U.S does not mean that I am any less entitled to an opinion. So watch what I say because this site operates out of Texas? I thought you guys were all about free speech? Haha clearly not, only if you’re going to agree, otherwise shut up? As for DazeyDuke, where I come from, women have completely equal rights to men, and equality swings both ways. If you had a problem with how I treated her as a person then fair enough, on reflect I can see that I was a dick. So sorry DazeyDuke. But I am not saying sorry simply because your a girl, that is just lame, I am sure she can handle her own. I honestly think going easy on someone simply because of the gender, is far more insulting.

  80. davos, check your spelling? It looks fine to me, and no it wasn’t obvious you were not an American, hence the reason I asked, and if you were an American citizen then you would know that I(as a white male)have to call black people African-America as the P.C. term to not seem racist. If you don’t like majority rules, then too bad because majority rules doesn’t like you either, and the majority always wins

  81. @ nutdeep.
    Don’t worry there are subtle differenes which I thought you may have picked up on, like the spelling of recognised as opposed to recognized. A few things like that, maybe you guys aren’t as exposed to different dilects of english. So fair call.

    African American is not a politically correct term, it refers to an ethnic group and not a race of people. So I get that you would use that term to avoid mistakingly using a racist one, but that is only because the term has nothing to do with race.

    Hahaha as for the majority always winning.. yeah ok. Maybe you should read back over your history books also. Some of the worst attrocities in history have been committed by ignorant majorities. So, I would say that there is a rather huge difference between what is popular and what is right.. and thus is it really winning? Majority rule is no excuse to dumb yourself down. Words that were accepted as common place 100 years ago are now deemed to be racist by the majority of people, this change in societal views is driven by a noisy minority. So I think you are wrong, the majority isn’t the winner, it is just a medium for change.

  82. davos, Alright you win congrats, I don’t have anymore time for arguing sublantics with you, which is pretty weird considering I am 19 years old, have no job, and smoke pot all day everyday(hopefully you are younger and less motivated than me…I doubt that is the case). The only point I was trying to make was that a black man in the United States of America is called an African-American and that IS the politically correct term in the U.S.A., maybe not where you come from, where ever in the fuck that is. So I guess, I think you are wrong, please don’t respond with anymore of your lame technicalities, I literally don’t care.

  83. @nutdeep
    22 Australian. And yes I love pot. But I do have a job. I don’t disagree that it is the “accepted” term but I think it is still incorrect/silly. Hope you didn’t take it to heart, the last two days have been particularly boring and I just hate the whole “majority rule” thing so much. Laters.

  84. @ nim
    pandas are the best!

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