Friday, August 20, 2010

Wins for the Weekends

previous post: Busy Brian

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110 Comments

  1. Justin Beiber needs to be banned, he is bad for our youth.

  2. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    You’re gonna love my nuts!

  3. James doesn’t deserve a good sandwich. He can’t even spell it.

  4. @eusadnama like twilight

  5. And for the record, brownies are much nicer without nuts.

  6. @ Pseudonym – brownies without nuts are just pieces of chocolate cake

  7. Super Nintendo Chalmers reminded me of this with his comment.

    http://www.cracked.com/video_18150_cock-shot21-fast-easy-way-to-deliver-ball-punishment.html

    Much better than the original commercial, IMO. XD

  8. You put gin in your penis?

    Yeah, I know, it’s a terrible joke. But hey! Hey! Want to hear a good joke? Oh, you’ll fucking love this one. Get ready…

    A girl killed herself… but Justin Bieber’s crap!

    :D HAHA! AM I RIGHT?!?

  9. @lamebookpro – I happen to like chocolate cake. Don’t like nuts or dried fruit in cakes etc… What’s that all about anyway?

  10. ROFLMAO @ BritishHobo!

  11. I’m with pseudonym on this one. Hate nuts in my brownies. Oh shit, and I’m gay, what does THAT mean? (Boy am I opening myself up.)

    “heh heh, the gay guy said he’s opening himself up.”
    HA! beat you to it.

    But I’m wondering, what if Sarah had “accidentally” said that to a straight woman? And how funny if it had been a lesbian of all people? Man, I’m dying here. Wow. I have had way too much caffeine and sugar.

  12. Even without the nuts, brownies are still much more gooey goodness than cakes (not that I don’t like cakes, mind you).

  13. @ Pseudonym – I don’t know dude. It’s friday. I’m high and I heard brownies. give a guy a break

  14. @lamebookpro

    No, there is totally a difference! Because.. I love brownies.. but I hate chocolate cake.

  15. Brownies without nuts ARE NOT just pieces of chocolate cake and anyone who thinks that is a dillhole.
    lamebook is a bunch of stupid lardasses

  16. @ briechez love you a little bit <3

    @KyleM Gooey is good ;-)

    @lamebookpro Your break is granted as I'm now wankered and can't type anymore

    @hailstorm – it took me 14 minutes to type this so please be grateful. Brownies FTW

  17. hey sidney. ;)

    new vid up!

  18. @pseudonym

    I am undoubtedly grateful.

    @ alordslums

    Does your name link to a video of your band? If so, nice stuff.

  19. hi Alords!!! which site is it on?
    as soon as I am done verbally abusing these fat people in front of my house i will check it out.

  20. oh i see im checking it out now

  21. @Alord
    yes I love it! love the song and the video. the dirt road in the beginning reminds me of the town that I grew up in. Was some of the video filmed in digital infrared? I have some pics on flickr that are infrared and they are my favorites! Either way I still love the video and song. Thanks for sharing :)

  22. now I totally want brownies

  23. MsBuzzkillington

    She “accidentally” said they were nice if you like nuts?

    Well do the brownies have nuts in them or not? I am assuming the ones he was asking about did have nuts, and he asked if they were good. There would be pretty much no other proper response other than “yes, if you like nuts.”

    I agree with Briechez. Would have it been just as funny if she said it to a straight girl? “omg, this girl came into work today and asked if the brownies were good. I accidentally said, “yes, if you like nuts.” Omg!!”

  24. Was that true about the Beiber fan killing herself? I had a quick google for any news about it but all I found were fan sites. Yuck.

  25. After extensive research (scanned the first page of Google) I have discovered that the news is not true.

    Still bored of Justin Bieber insults/jokes though. It’d be like me always slagging off The Wiggles (are they still around) for being crap – they’re not aimed at me!

    Although that metaphor doesn’t work, cos you don’t hear insults about the Wiggles twenty four seven from every jackass on Facebook who thinks he’s funny and cool, because he’s mocking the same damn person everyone else has been for about a year now.

  26. Chocolate cake and brownies are bad for you. They will make you fat. You are not allowed to like them.

  27. You know who else people don’t like other than fatties? Harpy shrews who couch their beliefs in passive-aggressive comments.

  28. @25

    fatty!

  29. I am pretty sure that saying “yes, if you like nuts” to ANYONE is fairly reasonable, and definitely not funny, especially if one is referring to a brownie with NUTS in it.

  30. I like the way James thinks.

    @ rockingwhore: Did somebody dutch oven you this morning? You seem to be awfully agitated at the world today.

    Before your dick gets twisted in a knot, I’m joking around.

  31. OHHH I am so using “before your dick gets twisted in a knot… “

  32. Uh I don’t have a dick. :-) And I am not agitated… didn’t realise I was appearing to be….

  33. The dick comment was just a metaphor. I apologize for the misinterpretation of your comment. You usually seem to be in a fairly joking mood. ;)

  34. @thequeen
    I’m sorry… uh who the duck invited you to this conversation? Shouldn’t you be scouring the internet looking for hideously obese people to defend while you are shoveling in hoards of brownies and cakes? Thanks. Okay moving right along.
    @Alord
    it is probably not the best idea to yell at her when she is eating…. she could choke on the food she is inhaling…

  35. Great Video Alord!!!!

    @ :27 Gawd DAYUM… that’s all I am sayin…. well that and you’re going to kill everyone driving on that side of the road! I jest, I jest.

  36. Good fucking lord, people, I have anorexia! I don’t eat! And you know why?! Because of people like you! I’m only 5 feet tall and I weight just 91 pounds! My family and best friends are fat and the amount of torment they get is just awful! I can’t stand to see the people I love being put through that!

    I have every right to be in this conversation and if you don’t like me being here then you can get the fuck out and go spread your hate speech somewhere else! I’m not leaving!

  37. Oh, so you’re skinny. Then you are worthy of tasting the glory of my wang. It would turn you from anorexic to bulimic in no time flat.

  38. I don’t want your wang. I just want justice for people who deserve it.

  39. My wang’s name is Justice! We are totally on the same page!

  40. Oh, well then that’s fine then. Hooray!

  41. YAY! I get to test thequeen‘s gag reflex.

  42. What gag reflex?

  43. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m laughing.

    Hi queenie, remember me? We sure got a thread going last week, didn’t we?

    And are you saying by that last comment you have no gag reflex? If you are then I christen thee Linda Lovelace.

  44. And that is a compliment, queenie.

  45. I laughed so hard just then I peed a little.

    Comment 41 just sent me over the edge, literally.

  46. Soup wins!!!!

  47. Oh Queen, you get better and better. It’s win-win. You get a steady diet of protein, and I get off. Bonus: when you try to rail against the treatment of fat people, it will sound like “nnnagggnnh”, so I can pretend you’re retarded and satisfy my fetish. I’m so hard right now.

  48. Yes wordpervert, I remember you and I remember the thread. And yes, I have no gag reflex. Thank you for the compliment.

  49. queenie, I’m very, very, envious. Mine is intact and strong. You have something I can only aspire to, I curtsy before you, Your Majesty.

  50. And not gonna lie, I’ll gladly shut up forever if it means I’ll have a wang in my mouth.

  51. I think I’m in love.

  52. Now that’s more like it, honey. Welcome to the club.

  53. This is the power of my wang. Bow before its majesty.

  54. You definitely have everybody standing at attention.

    I would give you a standing ovation but I am a little busy at the moment.

  55. I’m glad I could get on some of you guys’ good side. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble, I just have all the self esteem of a thirteen year old girl with acne.

  56. LOL

  57. Oh, -obediently bows before Soup’s mighty wang-
    Good god, what an interesting turn this conversation has taken..

  58. queenie is tiny AND has no reflexes in all the right places AND wants some wang where it counts. I like her very much right now.

    Please disregard anything that has come before, queenie. I’m all good with you.

  59. Soup has an excellent cream that can help you with that. His balls are very mighty also.

    I never really had a problem with you Your Majesty. I was still feeling you out, and now up.

  60. It is amazing how an orgy can bring everybody together.

  61. #58: Help you with your acne*

  62. If I am not mistaken, the exact definition of an orgy is that it brings everybody together.

  63. And queenie, hang out with me for a bit. I’ll help you fix that “13 year old with acne self-esteem” issue in no time at all.

    Or you can have some of Soup’s remedy. Either way, you’ll be sweet.

  64. I’m having such a good time right now I might just go into the kitchen and make you all sandwiches.

  65. Buns, I like to think of an orgy as something where people can come together.

  66. Check your messages.

  67. thequeen, your heart might be in the right place, but your outrage is in the wrong place. Embrace the ridiculousness and you will be much happier. I think your acceptance of my wang speaks well for your future. Yes, justice may be blind, but only because Justice shot her in the eyes.

    Dukey, I just read on the other fat thread that you are a black man. Are you cool with being the “some of my best friends are black” friend, so I can get a free pass to say horribly racist things? Please?

  68. Ahhh Word,a bukkake pun is always welcome to me.

  69. Buns, your link is no longer available due to copyright laws. Such a rebel.

  70. @Defective, We have messages?

    @Soup, have fun with that, I enjoy my share of horrible jokes.

  71. It was a typo Buns. I have four browser windows open right now.

  72. Buns, YOU’RE BLACK? Oh.My.Fucking.God.

    I seriously have to go away and contemplate the sheer joy I feel about that revelation.

  73. All right. I now understand. Everyone gets made fun of. No one gets a free pass from it. It can’t be avoided, so we may as well laugh it off right?

    From now on, if I see a fat post, I’m going to do the sensible thing: laugh, and then shove a wang in my mouth. When all else fails, suck some dick, is what my good friend always says.

    Well, who wants a joint?

  74. You smoke weed? DRUG USER! You are just the worst person ever! You’re worse than Hitler!

  75. @thequeen a joint is the one thing that brings us all together.

    @Word I’m not just black, I’m originally African I grew up in many places in Africa, Europe, USA and Canada.

  76. Don’t mind if I do, Your Majesty. I’m loving you.

    But Buns, I’m Loving you more.

  77. Oh hell, why not queen. It’s been awhile for me.

  78. one post of fawning adoration and sandwich making is not going to make THIS CAT forget about reams and reams of utter, self-involved tripe.

    sowee.

  79. Well, I see i am late to the party. Jeez, this floor is slippery…

  80. Well then alordslums, you don’t have to join our sandwiches-drugs-and-sex orgy. Away with you!

  81. ummm,i dont know whats going on here but i see sandwichs-drugs-& sex and if thats whats going on,count me in….

  82. I’d like to drop by as well….check out thequeen’s lack of a gag reflex. I’ll bring drugs too …mostly oxycontins but some high grade weed too, ‘K…. hope word shows up.

  83. This is beautiful. I’m so happy everybody likes me now :)

  84. …no gag reflex will do that.

    No, you seem pretty nice … a few problems like the rest of us I guess… mine being booze and drugs… keeps me thin though.

  85. umm can we play the game where everybody gets a drink but only some of them have acid in them,but nobody knows which ones,or no,is that too much…? cuz i can just bring more oc’s and weed..

  86. And mine being no self esteem. But seriously? There’s a lot of calories in alcoholic drinks. The term “beer gut” comes from that doesn’t it?

  87. … acid is so ‘dirty’, after laughing for 13 hours my face hurts and sleep becomes difficult. Any good blow?

  88. I swear queen … I drink a whack* of Canadian beer. I am on the slim side, always have been. I could eat better but..

    *sometimes 8 or so a day.

  89. Ah, well perhaps you’re just lucky. Props to you and your metabolism.

  90. Sometimes I don’t feel lucky… it’s a problem really.

    Anyway, all the best to you … I am actually going to score some weed… I am on my third tall can of Keith’s…should be about 10 by the time I crash tonight.

  91. Everyone’s addicted to something. Drugs, alcohol, food, sex.. but there’s always help if you need it. All the best to you as well. Enjoy your Keith’s and weed!

  92. blow..?good..?not where i live,unless you like half your sack to be meth.ick.acid, is…fun.ive only done it once,but ive always wanted to play that game.haha.

  93. Apparently I have Down’s Syndrome, but I’m going to watch the film “UP” this afternoon, so I may be back to normal afterwards. I’ll keep you posted.

  94. @BritishHobo – this is almost a pointless answer to what was possibly a rhetorical question, but yup The Wiggles are still around and the highest paid entertainers (and possibly people) in Australia. Also, the new younger yellow one is married to Dorothy the Dinsaur, if you did want something to make fun of them about… other than the colours and the previous band of the cockroaches. wow, I should be too old to know all this.

  95. ..acid cures Downs, Google it.

  96. It was rhetorical, but you’re awesome for takng the time to answer anyway.

    And now I’m curious. Who’s Dorothy the Dinosaur?

  97. The image of an insecure anorexic trying to find acceptance by being on the receiving end of a drug-induced bukkake orgy …. Wow, that disturbes me a little.

    Not enough to actually care of course, just wondering what precious Charlene would say.

  98. Well buckle_up, enjoy your self-esteem while it lasts. You never know when someone will come and take it away. At that point, you’ll do anything to get it back.

  99. Anything? Such as defending fatties and sucking wangs? – Highly unlikely.

  100. By the way, not having a gag reflex must be difficult for you. I mean, I don’t know much about anorexia, but from what I’ve heard, putting a finger in your throat after dinner is a trusted method. But since you don’t even gag when Soup put his majestic wang in your throat, well …. I’m curious. How do you do it?

  101. anorexia is when you don’t eat. throwing up after meals is bulimia(sp?). bit difference guys!!

  102. Thanks, I’ll try to remember that.

    Hey, we had a famous athlete once in my corner of the world. Very competitive in road cycling. Halfway through her career she got anorexia. Nearly died from it too. She then overcame the disorder, ate and trained herself back into professional cycling shape, and went on to win 4 golden Olympic medals.

  103. Damn, am I too late for the party? Curse my fashionably late entrance.

  104. Wtf did I miss by skipping this thread? Drug-induced anorexia-curing orgies?

    Wow, some people will take a shot in the mouth just for the slightest bit of acceptance. All you really need is some beer and some weed, and most people will love you. Save the wang sucking for difficult cases . . . You know, the one’s that involve people you meet in real life who don’t like you . . .

    Jeeeez.

  105. @buckle_up
    What did that story have to do with anything? It’s a very uplifting story, but what bearing does it have on this conversation?

    @TheDonMega12
    It’s never too late to party! Come on in; All are welcome!

    @eusadnama
    I don’t drink because of the calories. Weed is good, but I really don’t smoke it that often because it gives me the munchies and it makes not eating a lot harder. Also, I will suck the wang of anyone who calls me pretty. Don’t judge.

  106. Curses! You let your friend use your computer once and they log out of your shit and log into their own. Watabitch!

  107. @thequeen

    Since when does a good story need to have bearing on the conversation? The fact that you found it uplifting is enough reason for me. I have a penchant for …. nah, let’s not go there.

  108. Well, I guess it doesn’t, but I mean.. well are you changing the subject now? What is it? Is the orgy over? You have a penchant for what?

  109. Justin Bieber is a facetious seeping boil on the face of music, his shitty whiny mediocre brand of piss poor pop threatens to convince a generation of kids that his kind of fuckwit blandness is relevant and cool.

    The only solution to this is to tie him to a hobby horse and force anybody who has ever bought any of his cunty records to fuck him mercilessly up the arse(in most cases this will require a strap on)

    That way he’ll be fucked in the same way music is every time he’s played on the radio.

  110. @Imamofo

    I don’t think you know what “facetious” means.

    http://thesaurus.com/browse/facetious

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