Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Why Timeline Sucks

previous post: The 16 Types of People on Facebook

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32 Comments

  1. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    No one home?

  2. Too many people are asleep right now, Dukey.

  3. or maybe the post is a steaming pile and i was being polite about it?
    how come i never get any fucking credit when i be nice?

  4. You’re still awake. MsAnne? What is it, like 3 in the morning there?

  5. Fuck timeline

  6. no maybecakes, you’re wrong.

    FUCK TIMELINE RIGHT UP THE ASS

    ^ much better

  7. Fake timeline.

  8. don’t understand why people hate timeline so much.

  9. Because timeline is fake.

  10. SLG, people just hate change. It’s probably some deeply ingrained survival instinct from our cave-person days.

  11. you wouldn’t understand, slug, because you’re a fucking jerk.

  12. It is because timeline sucks balls.

  13. @frankenstein/SLG
    It’s because forcing people to use something that has worse usability and aesthetics than ass is more like rape than good design.

  14. Oh dear. First of all, no one is forcing you to use facebook. Secondly, find a better metaphor, a well maintained ass is very aesthetically pleasing and I have no problem using mine.

  15. First of all nothing, facebook is forcing everyone onto timeline, end of discussion.

    Yes you use your ass for one thing, depositing excrement. Just like timeline. Well I guess you might also use it to get fucked, but unfortunately I doubt that will happen to timeline.

  16. beatusmongous

    Hot women with nice asses use their asses to attract men.

    Frankenstein is right, though. No one is forcing you to use Facebook. Granted, Facebook is forcing its users to use timeline, but only if they continue using Facebook. You don’t HAVE to use Facebook.

  17. you guys say it sucks, fair enough, but how? i mean, it’s really not that different is it? it’s just laid out a bit differently, and it really only makes a solid difference if you’re actually looking at someone’s page, which i personally hardly ever do. my feed looks just the same (and dull) as it always did. i just don’t see the reason for the extreme hate i’ve seen professed towards it, is all.
    meh. who cares.

  18. hey beatus, what about hot lesbians with nice asses?

  19. @beatus
    Splitting hairs don’t you think? I assume facebook’s purpose with timeline is not to drive people away from the site, so it’s a failure however you look at it.

    @SLG
    My estimate based on things I’ve heard people say is about 50% of people care :P

  20. SLG, viewing someone else’s timeline sucks because it.. loads.. slower.. than.. a.. prostate.. cancer.. sufferer.. pisses..

    Also, it misses a whole lot of information and screws up the chronology of the page. Which was the whole fucking point of timeline, wasn’t it?

    Facebook is constantly evolving, so whinging about it does actually have an eventual effect. Beta testing is like that.

    There are few people who hate the changes so much that they will cease using Facebook altogether, but if they’re intelligent consumers, they will put forward their improvement requests. In the form of complaints.

    But at least timeline has given us all the opportunity to include a cover photo and impress our friends with our own brand of geeky witticism. Fuck yeah, WIN for Facebook users!!

  21. …and WIN for Lamebookers!!

  22. don’t seem to have that problem (slow loading time), must be a bandwidth issue? i mean, each to their own, i’ve heard more hate of it than i’ve heard “i love it”, personally i’m pretty indifferent, it hasn’t really changed anything in any major way, i reckon.
    it always blows me away how angry people get when facebook makes changes. then they get on facebook and bitch about it…hmmm…

  23. Um, yer, the Facebook developers have better access to information, key words and trends on Facebook than they do on other sites. People are best to complain on Facebook.

  24. yep because facebook are totally monitoring all those complaints and acting on them!! yeah!! totally! they check my feed every day and act on that stuff, you can tell!
    wouldn’t it be more appropriate to contact fb direct instead of wasting all your friends time?
    just sayin’

  25. Learn about market research, you tool.
    And I’m sure that your 4 friends could handle the imposition on their News Feeds.

  26. ‘sides which, bacchante…most of the feedback left on FB about timeline is “it’s shit”, “i hate it” and other such highly helpful oneliners. yep…FB knows what to do with that!
    oh..and…how many people are on FB. yep…i’m sure they’ve got time to go through all that shit on a daily basis.
    eh whatever

  27. why did you just do that, Bacchante?

  28. there was an important point that needed to be made msanne. she sure showed me hey. i mean…i should learn about market research! it’s a really interesting topic too!

  29. beatusmongous

    @MsAnne, I’m sure hot lesbians use their asses to attract other women. If you got it, flaunt it. Why not?

    @Stickfigure, in your words: “facebook is forcing everyone onto timeline, end of discussion.” That statement is 100% wrong, and no, it’s not splitting hairs. It’s the absolute truth. You were wrong. Suck it.

  30. Whoa. Beatus be angry, yo.

  31. Yep, wrong. No one is forced to use timeline, they all opted for it.

  32. “@Stickfigure, in your words: “facebook is forcing everyone onto timeline, end of discussion.” That statement is 100% wrong, and no, it’s not splitting hairs. It’s the absolute truth. You were wrong. Suck it.”

    Wait, you’re saying timeline is optional? Are you actually a retard?

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