Friday, August 28, 2009

What’s in a Lame?


previous post: Casper the Horny Ghost



  1. Black people do nothing to eliminate the stereotype that they’re all retarded.

  2. Crystal? Babes? I hate to break it to you, but you were named after very classy chemical called desoxyephedrine. Also known on ze mean streets as “crystal meth.”

  3. @AnonisGay: Anonymity on the InterNerd is a big illusion, son. Check yourself before you wrecKKK yourself, you precious little racist flower.

  4. I hope this isn’t an attack direct at poor Apple Martin-Paltrow.

  5. Why she be busting on my name?

  6. Oh! so she finally met that girl Pudding…

  7. sarcasticmeow ,dude, LMAO! Crystal, Butters and Peanut be coming fo yo ass!

  8. Crystal diamonds FTW!

  9. @3. Chill out, if someone said the same about white, chinese, latino, canadian, then it would be fine… People like you keep racism alive.

  10. SHUT UP with your stupid RACEIST comments this is not about RACEISM this is about people being STUPID!!!! The REASON they cal it RACE-ISM is because you are OVERLY INVOLVED in RACE! GET A LIFE!!!!

  11. Chill out people…She meant table Salt!!!

  12. shut the hell up Sixkiller. i had to break character just to tell you you’re an idiot.

  13. With Crystal’s line of thinking, if a girl is named Mercedes or Porche–terrible names, by the way–she should be driven like a German automobile.

  14. Crystal is a food? Maybe she was thinking Cristal?

  15. My name is Cheryl, Crystal. I’m not named after a food. And you weigh more than I do.

  16. @13 yes it would be terrible to be called porche

    and hey 15 – I’m Cheryl also :)

  17. I think I know this girl. She pronounces her name as if it should be spelled like the Champagne Cristal. Her parents meant to name her after the Champagne but misspelled it.

  18. Resident Etymologist

    Actually, the name Crystal means “ice.” Its origin is Greek.

  19. No, your a f*ckin crystal

  20. @Sixkiller: Look, kiddo, you sound very young, so I won’t deploy the full WMD extent of my sarcasm, as it is below my station to pick on the young, the defenseless, and the lame. Just saying blatant racism (especially when it’s not even funny) is gross. Srsly. I’m not even using sarcastic font to type this. Racism = not cool, not funny.

  21. @21 – stop being a dick

  22. Since when do people name themselves? I thought parents named their children. This woman needs to stop hitting the meth pipe.

  23. If you’re going to rant about racism being bad, you need to learn how to spell it. Also, capitalizing the entire word (in order to show that you’re yelling it or emphasizing it) loses it’s luster when it’s wrong several times. I’m talking to you, stfu.

    Crystal has some BALLIN burgers. It’s the equivalent of White Castle.

  24. Wait, if she’s a fuckin DIAMOND wouldn’t her name be Diamond? I’m pretty sure when your name is Crystal you’re basically just a fuckin STRIPPER.

  25. she’s a diamond in the rough!

  26. “check yourself before you wrecKKK yourself”

    Gold. sarcasticmeow FTW!

  27. @25 – stop being a dick

  28. @39 – stop being a dick

  29. @Sarcasticmeow,
    your comments make my day, everytime.

  30. @Sarcasticmeow

    Ditto. Three cheers for Sarcasticmeow.

  31. Ooh, I wouldn’t want to be #39 right now.

  32. I wonder who #39 will be. Whoever you are, you really should stop being a dick. We know you’re out there.

  33. She sounds awfully defensive. What was she, named after a fast food joint?

  34. My mom almost named me Mercedes, but she decided she liked Shakespeare better.

  35. This thread is going to end at 38.

  36. @sarcasticmeow – Yes, but sarcastic racism is always funny.

    In other news, I can’t figure out what Crystal is getting at. Is she claiming that diamonds are food?

  37. I’m [nearly] #39!!!

  38. Salt…salt is made up of crystals and everyone (almsost) eats salt!!! Hallow its tthat obvious. Diamond is her cat, the only thing that listens to her.

  39. what’s so good about #39

  40. I’m guessing the food she is referring to is “Krystal” which is a popular fast food burger chain down here in the south. Hope that clears up something for ya’ll!

  41. ***I meant almost…& that***…These crystals are confusing me, Im officially staying away from them


  43. idk if she knows that there’s a diff between crystals and diamonds. you can have a crystal of a diamond but crystal is not necessarily diamond. her comparison just doesn’t really make sense….

  44. Jesus Ratcoon, QUIT FUCKING YOUR OWN DICK!!!!
    In my defense, Im tipsy on Krystal!

  45. @12 STFU, break character?? OMG even hiding on the internez? I was being sarcastic… learn how to read, mmmok

  46. Actually Crystal my surname is steeped in Scottish history. That comment hurt bad girlfriend.

  47. DAYMIT SARCASTIC MEOW!!! you stole my joke for this.

  48. stfu… your ‘character’ is too funny. and a little too convincing..!
    def did not get it till 2nd post….

  49. Isn’t stfu just a post-Communist Chairman Mao?

  50. @ ‘fterklang A modern Chairman Mao – a Chairman Now, if you will.

  51. Oh man… so what OP is saying is… I can’t call myself Twinkie? I really thought it would help me gain a competitive edge in the Dallas Stripper market.

    Fo shiz.

    PS stfu stfu. Again.

  52. im having your baby

    this is one of the most amusing comment boards. also racism isn’t funny, but it can be.

  53. Fucking niggers

  54. it makes me wonder how many fat dumb ass girls are naming themselves after food…hmmmmmmmm

  55. I’m sorry, I’m totally with Crystal on this one–and not just because she’s a fucking diamond.

    (She totally is though, you know.)

    Do not name your children after food. “Number Four with Fries, Super Size” is not the proper name for a child, no matter what anyone says, and I say shame on her parents. Shame! Think of how life might have been different, if only they’d ordered a salad.

  56. how come she got to name herself?? if i had named myself, i would have come up with something much cooler than Crystal, like Potato.

  57. My name is Caesar, because I’m a salad, not because mom was having a fit when I was born, dumbasses!

  58. @me. Mercedes was a name before it was a car. The car was named after a person (one of Karl Benz’ daughters, i think; but i’m not sure), and the name soon became associated with the company itself (Daimler-Benz). Porsche is also a name, of course; but it’s a last name. But yeah, most of the people given those names now are being named after cars, which is ridiculous.

    Meanwhile, this Crystal person sounds like yer basic asshole. Diamonds are made of carbon, not feces. Grow a brain.

  59. @stfu. Totaly agree with you about Sixkiller. I often want to lash out and be like shut up nobody cares about your stupid opinions but i think i’m been too harsh. Thank you for informing this Sixkiller of how much of an idiot he is so i have someone to agree with. Sixkiller, you annoy the hell out of me. Stop being an idiot.

    -and back into ‘trying not to offend particular people mode’-

  60. @Flip If you’re going to be #39 you have to make it amusing for the rest of us. If you had read the other comments you would have known what averyone was talking about and make #39 so much better. PS: This is not meant to be an insulting comment. Some times you have good comments. I only wanted to clarify that for you because no-one else will and for some reason you don’t seem to want to read the above comments and find out for yourself. That wouldn’t have told you what was special about #39 but #29 will. You have fun with that.

  61. don’t nobody name they self anyways.


    @ 1 and 5: you are brilliant.

  63. Crystal’s a kind of hot sauce, so technically food. I mean, that works, right?

  64. crystal does not equal diamond

  65. Mmmm, chili cheese pups! I would also like to point out that Krystal’s is open 24 hrs a day. Wonder if that had something to do with it….

  66. word

  67. Yeah… My sister has never gotten over her name.. Double egg and chips!

  68. I knew a girl named Mercedes…. she looked more like a Buick.

  69. Heh, names are quite silly sometimes.

    In my country (yeah, it’s a small country few have heard of and it sucks, but whatever) There are these two names, Bolli And Ketill, which in English would be Teacup and thing-you-put-coffee-in-and-pour-it-into-cups

  70. girrrrl you don’t know who you be steppin’ to

  71. I honestly cannot explain how stupid she made herself look.

  72. Regardless of whether you can relate the word “crystal” to food, why is no one mentioning the fact that crystals and diamonds are two completely different things? You can get jewelry made with crystals very cheap. So IMO, that’s what makes this girl stupid.

  73. A diamond is a type of graphite crystal, you fucking idiot.

  74. @#72: That’s like saying beagles and dogs are two completely different things.
    #73 is correct.

  75. Apparently she doesn’t live in the South and has never eaten at one of these…

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