Wednesday, October 14, 2009

We’re All Fading

We're All Fading

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131 Comments

  1. not reading it.

  2. What a bunch of pathetic shit. Title appropriate.

  3. Can’t believe I actually read all of that. It made 3/4 of my brain cells commit suicide.

  4. Dignity is a lost concept.

  5. I’m not reading that.

    For all I care, Romel could be the most eloquent person in the world and telling us all the meaning of life. But without proper formatting, it ain’t worth jack.

  6. Yea, but was what you said just a joke?

  7. Dammit Romel! What do you have against commas? That was the opposite of a run-on sentence.

  8. tired of these long winded lamebook posts. not interested.

  9. I know that this was incredibly lame. I know that Evelyn should run the other way. I know that starting every sentence with “I know” is ridiculous. I know that reading this made me cringe. I know that grovelling is less effective if you annoy the grovellee. I know that grovellee isn’t really a word. I know that if Evelyn’s this upset, what Romel said probably wasn’t really a joke. I know that if Romel really was joking, these people are sick. I know that these people are sick either way. I know that I could use a cup of coffee.

  10. Aaaaagh my eyes!

  11. but i love her :(

  12. No you don’t

  13. i do, so so so much

  14. This is not just a run on sentence. This is a run on sentence that got drunk and kept on running off in some direction without making a point.

  15. what a twat.

    go get laid.

  16. Hidden behind the “I know”, “What I said,” and “I’m fading” is this anecdote…”I love you so much that I’d switch to pharmacy if that’s the only way we could be close.”

    Wow. That’s true love right there. If only there was a CVS in the 1500′s. Romeo and Juliet could have ended up together.

  17. tl;dr

  18. New line of movies to be created –
    10 things I know about my comment.
    10 things I said what I shouldn’t have.
    10 things about what is happening.
    10 reasons why i’m fading.
    10 things true about us.
    10 things my love for you will do to me.
    And finally…
    1 good reason to shut the fuck up – Facebook….

  19. And people wonder why Twitter is so popular.

  20. lol @ Carrie…awesome

  21. tl;dr.

  22. Hahahahaha @ Boz.

  23. WTF

  24. EPIC

  25. I know this guy lost his man card somewhere.

  26. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

  27. wow that was really touching

  28. I know, I know, I know… jeez. Seriously, Romel? All I know is I’d be running the other way if I were Evelyn.

  29. WOW that was really touching.

  30. I feel embarrassed for Romel. You have to think what his joke was to cause such a shameful grovelling load of shit on a public site.

  31. Did anyone else think it read like a song for a while? With the exist… rhymes with this… etc

  32. Evelyn must have been a HUGE Boyzone fan.

    Wonder which one of them he told?

  33. muhfucker knows a lot of shit…

  34. He sure knows a lot of shit for a dumbass…

  35. Meh,
    I’ll bet you it works. I’ll bet you she read every word. I’ll bet you she cried a little. I’ll bet you she re-read some of those choice sentences. I’ll bet you she read them out loud. I’ll bet you she whispered them and glanced at the phone. I’ll bet you she picked it up and called him.
    And,
    I’ll bet you ANYTHING he smiled when it rang.

  36. who writes this shit

  37. So, in summary, it would be: “Evelyn: I’m sorry for everything, I love you.”

    Romel, what you don’t know is you like to repeat yourself.

  38. “I’d switch to pharmacy” ??? Am I the only one confused by that sentence? Am I the only one that read that far.. ?

  39. I just puked a little.

  40. No, Robin, I read the whole thing thinking I’d be laughing in the end. Nope. Just pathetic.

  41. @ franzfergidon #31: Yes, I thought it read like song lyrics too. There were several times he rhymed, and then something about what he said was just a joke, but then so is he. I kind of doubt someone who would write this publicly on facebook would have enough intelligence to come up with phrases like that or ones that rhymed.

  42. haha Robin, you may have been the only one who read that far. I didn’t read that far but I am guessing it is some glass? Maybe he is saying he would switch his major for her.

  43. what i know… for a fact… facebook comments on statuses cannot be that long. i’ve tried. unless they’ve very recently changed.

  44. Hey, Air Supply called, they want you to stop writing lyrics for their song, “Making love out of nothing at all”

  45. All of you “tl;dr” people are missing some real gems:

    “Im fading because we’re gone and so might I. I’m fading because my tears are synchronized with yours.” John Donne, anyone?

    “I love you so deeply that i probably wont be able to sleep tonight, or tomorrow, or for the rest of the week.” Losing a few days’ sleep… That is serious! “I’ll never sleep again” would’ve been too much?

  46. anti-Boz the second

    This reminds me of bad poetry.

  47. @45, that’s what I was thinking too, for all of the dramatics of the damn thing, the least he could do was be over the top with his sleep (or lack thereof) habits.

    “I’ll never sleep again!!! well, at least not until I realize that I’m a fucktard and all of my friends are laughing at me, and therefore won’t invite me out to do anything, just so they can continue laughing about me…eh..might as well catch a nap…”

  48. @Robin – by “I’d switch to pharmacy”, he means he would change his field of study (I’m guessing he’s probably in med school or something)

    and LOL @leverhundar #3

  49. I know how much I love you. I know what I said was wrong. I know everything except for where the fucking Enter key is.

    The only person who has an excuse to go on like this is Stephen Hawking.

  50. I think by, “I’d switch to pharmacy”, he means he’d ask to be put in the pharmacy department at whatever drugstore or Wal Mart their love blossomed at.

  51. Poor, poor Evelyn.

  52. Ahahaha, Massive fail Romel!

    Fucking top notch commentary though, major lulz throughout – knucklepopper & AyHy *particularly* FTW!

  53. This, children, is how not to format a poem and how not to use an anaphora (or twenty).

  54. This gives me a headache. I got about 12 words into Romel’s rambling and just thought, “Ah, f*ck it. It can’t be THAT funny.”

  55. All he did was ask for backdoor sex

  56. if this is all meant to be this heartfelt why not call her on the phone and tell her?? why post all of this to a facebook status?

  57. [...] Greatest Faceblok tilt ever buttonedup October 14th, 2009 at 1:44 pm He sure knows a lot of shit for a dumbazz… Molly October 14th, 2009 at 3:04 pm Poor, poor [...]

  58. a couple lines of this rhymed. heeheehee.

  59. tl;dr.

  60. Funniest shit on here in a long time. Those two deserve each other. Evelyn got the ball rolling and Romel just ran with it full speed.

    There are people who like to pretend they are living as characters on a dramatic television show and facebook gives them some kind of public platform to cater to their delusion.

    Synchronized tears! Fuck yeah!

  61. Emo

  62. tl;dr

    (and I read british lit for christ’s sake.)

  63. I know what you’re doing yeah yeah, I know why you dialed my number, I know what you’re doing yeah yeah, I know why you care. I know what you’re doing yeah yeah, I know why you say you love me, I know what you’re doing yeah yeah, And I don’t think it’s fair, I know why you dialed my number, I know why you say you’re mine, I know what you’re doing, And it’s not, gonna work, this time.

  64. But…i wanna know what he said…

  65. What did he say? I got bored, did he mention it later?

  66. Wow, he’s not going to be able to sleep for a week. A whole week! He’s really suffering.

  67. @62. How exactly does Christ benefit from you reading British Lit. I don’t think he really would gain, and maybe you should read it for your own sake, or the sake of getting good grades or something. Christ, he probably doesn’t care that you read it. I think he has his own book he would prefer you to read.

  68. He must be from one of those really poor third world nations where people can’t even afford paragraphs.

  69. @canuck

    You win the internet.

  70. I had a piece of shit ex bf that would write that sorta crap too.

    Thank god (or whoever’s running this joint) it was a pre-facebook relationship, otherwise I’m pretty sure I woulda found myself on Lamebook too!

  71. My head hurts.

  72. For all he says is true and for all he says he knows…. Does he know that he’s a complete wank? Because that is true. i read on just to see if it ever actually got funny. I was severly disappointed.. It only got more and more frustrating. No climax at all in the speil… B for BORING.

  73. @Riiiigghht I can’t agree more with you, I think Romel just want Evelyn to kill herself after read that…

  74. Romel is probably overcompensating for a small penis. This is the likely cause of whatever unpleasant things he said to Evelyn, and now she has called him on it, his insecurity is unleashed and he is panicking.

    As for the other issues – the personal life on Facebook, the particularly sappy nature of his grovelling, the capacity to spend so much time hammering a keyboard without once finding the Enter key even by accident – the answer is more simple. He is a moron.

    My work is done here.

  75. Romel… isn’t he a Nazi tank commander or something? I guess he really does have a lot to apologise for.

  76. Does he know he’s pretty lame?

  77. Mr Haiku - was busy yesterday. Sorry!

    Brevity, Romel,
    Is the essence of Haiku.
    You should try it out.

  78. I wish I could be as smooth as he is.

    >.>

    <..<

  79. The only way this could have been more nauseating would be if it rhymed sporadically.

  80. Jelly, it does. It does rhyme sporadically. Yes, it has everything.

  81. Talk about a wall of text. stuff like this on facebook makes me wanna grab a barf bag.

  82. I wonder if she forgave him?

  83. You know she will Jeb. And you know he’ll do it again. Its a never-ending cycle of lameness…

  84. What does “tl;dr” mean?

  85. ah…the bliss of young love….

  86. Looked like an AnonisGay comment. Needless to say, I didn’t read more than the first two and last two sentences.

    “I know this is public and I know it’ll get around”

    More than you could have imagined, my friend. Ha ha.

  87. “You magnificent bastard. I read your book!”

  88. I actually knew a friend that “switched to pharmacy” in order to save a relationship. She was deciding between pharmacy school and nursing school. The school that her boyfriend was at didn’t have a nursing program. So she transferred schools and ‘switched to pharmacy’.

    She was pretty hot and he was a tool. I think she got pregnant and dropped out of school and he’s a manager at a Subway downtown now, so it all worked out for the best. GO TRUE LOVE!

  89. im gonna go ahead and admit that i didnt read the post, the length of it is already lame enough

  90. @ SusieQ: LOL I totally agree. TL;DR.

  91. @Helen

    Too long; didn’t read.

  92. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What a loser!

  93. dear fkin god get a life u losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  94. Since when is TL;DR a common abbreviation? Am I really that out of the loop?

    Thank you R for posting the full version so that I could connect the dots.

    And thank you Helen for also not knowing what it meant, haha.

  95. TL;DR has been common for a couple years now. People often use it to announce an abridgement. Like, if someone wanted to post a TL;DR version of Romel’s post, they could say:

    TL;DR: I’m a pathetic loser making a pathetic apology.

  96. Like most men, Romel has trouble opening up emotionally.

  97. my head actually exploded trying to read this please excuse any possible spelling errors i made be typing but as i said i have no head so i cannot see or think any more

  98. These “serius” e-confrontations always make me chuckle.

  99. I know I’m not reading that whole thing

  100. I am win

  101. @Mcowles: You have restored my faith in humanity I hope one day to be that happy and successful :)

  102. I read the whole thing and I do believe that I lost a few points off my IQ. In fact I believe my brain retreated in view of the horror I inflicted on it.

    @ #75 Bingo: It’s Rommel who was the tank commander (and commander of the Afrika Crops), Erwin Rommel.

  103. ^ You might be suprised to hear ths Ben, but I knew it wasn’t actually Erwin Rommel. Dumpass.

  104. boring!

  105. He must have fucked up BAD.

  106. I’m guessing this isn’t groveling. I think this Romel fancies himself some sort of a poet or musician, and he has probably used this kind of quasi-blank-verse beat-tard apology in the past. Evelyn has probably excused a lot of abusive behavior because “as an artist he’s so high strung and emotional!” and I’ll bet the faux sincerity of his declaration will move her to tears as it always does. He is probably frustrated at his failed attempts to publish his work, and he takes it out on her in the form of cutting remarks aimed at making her feel stupid and inferior.

  107. I agree with the above comment. Spot on!

  108. Huh. did anyone actually take the time to read that?

  109. you know, #108, I did… and sadly, I’ll never get those minutes of my life back. I should really learn when to quit. Or maybe, when to just not begin. lol

  110. I read enough to realise that was complete crap. How many times can one person use the words “i know what” in a sentence and not have commas or capitals. Romel, I hate you.

  111. The highlight for me was, “I love you so much that I would drop out for you.”

    It was at that point that I reached for the tissues. Such a powerful declaration of real love, I just couldn’t control my emotions any more.

  112. cliff notes?

  113. Did anyone read this all the way through?

  114. Only to check if there was actually a punchline.

    There was not.

    Still sounds like a bellend.

  115. Poor dude.. I feel really bad for him and for them. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship like that, a relationship with such emotion. It’s more than someone can handle, but there’s no going back.

    He unfortunately started out every sentence in a really lame way, but the message was probably received well. I hope it worked out for him..

  116. Christ sake, enough of the damn repetition ><

  117. this, dear children, is what we call a REPETITION FAIL!!!

  118. That must have taken a long time to write that. Especially when she didn’t even comment back.
    And what’s worse is that she made that her status.
    That’s just begging for attention.

  119. I thought he was just quoting a song or something? I mean, a lot of it rhymes and everything. I don’t listen to the kind of music that would have lyrics like this, but it just struck me as he typed the entire lyrics to a song..

  120. Firstly,

    Romel, what DID you say to her?

    Secondly,

    The things men will do to get poonani.

    Thirdly,

    Co-sign Jack. Are you a veteran psychologist or something?

  121. Also this is fake. Why? Because Facebook has not, as of this date EVER made provision for a reply to ANY status message to be that long. You would have to fill out atleast two replies for a text of that size.

  122. of course it’s fake. i can tell by the pixels!

  123. He didn’t love her enough to read through all the shit he’d written and summarise it for her; or punctuate it correctly come to think of it.

  124. she didn’t reply, maybe she read it and realised that she really is better off without a whiny, cliched, over-dramatic dick like him…

  125. oh snap….that lame fucker is commenting here! haha!! Romel, you owe me three minutes pal.

  126. Wow, Romel seems to know everything, yet he keeps making himself look like an idiot anyways. pussy

  127. I had a dog called Romel once

  128. Where is the “read less” button?

  129. I know I wasn’t even half way through before I wanted to kill myself.

  130. Congrats to Romel for feeling all of those feelings. What a sensitive fellow!?

  131. This guy deserves an award for “Most BS to ever be posted in a Facebook comment.”

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