Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wailin’ in Wal-Mart

previous post: Lil TMI…

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42 Comments

  1. hear that ladies? not the halloween department! and put the kid down first so it’s a fair fight

  2. sexclamationpoint56

    is marc-andre a gay guy or something? just wondering cuz i havent heard of any girl with that name. either way, if he was gay maybe the wife or whatever should be more worried about the fact that her husband is banging gay guys and not so worried about the gay guys he’s banging. they always seem to go after the wrong person

  3. That pretty funny lol!

  4. That is such an awesome scene it should be written into a John Waters movie!

  5. #2… I think you should read it again. It was her fiancée, not husband, and this Marc-Andre guy says he slept with the guy before he had met the woman. So the fiancée didn’t cheat. He’s obviously bi, or thought he might be gay or bi. Not a big deal. She should not have went off on him like that at all, especially not in a public place.

  6. sexclamationpoint56

    no i kno its not a big deal that he’s gay but she probably should be clearing up the water with her husband cuz its definitely reason for concern if they are about to get married. but yeah its not cheating if it was before they met and she really had no right to even say anything to the guy but like i said, she needs to talk to her fiance about it tho cuz it’s a matter happy or unhappy marriage. u cant have a happy marriage if ur keep secrets that are that big from each other

  7. It would be even better if they grabbed mortal kombat halloween masks and yelled “Get over here!”

    And after all the walmart carnage a voice would come over the intercom and say, “finish him!”

    Just saying that’s how I would have liked to see it go down.. Watching trashy white girls if fun though too I guess!

  8. I am not sure where you got the idea that they HAVEN’T talked about it yet.

    Just because she is angry and jealous of her fiance’s past lovers, doesn’t mean her and her fiance haven’t talked about his past lovers. I am not sure why you think he is keeping something from her.

    Like, you’re pulling stuff out of thin air.

  9. Have to agree with MsBuzz on this one, if the women is aware of this Marc-Andre(M/F) means the fiance is not hidding anything I beleive.

    But damn is that a funny story tho!(Closes eyes and pictures mortal combat)

  10. anyone else love how gay guys always go for morbidly obese women for their sham marriages? it always makes me laugh to see these deluded fat beasts with their obviously gay, disinterested husbands. it reminds of me of those nature programmes where birds pick ticks off a hippo’s back – they’re both just exploiting each other in the absence of any real attraction. difference is, the fat hippos of humanity seem to genuinely believe that their fake relationships are founded on something more than symbiosis. these unions are merely a way for gay men to escape from the pressures of society by hiding under layers of blubber. the alternative theory is that really fat women have their own gravitational pull into which gay men are unwittingly sucked into – watch the barefoot contessa for evidence.

  11. lol on the gravitational pull, vince!

    i think what sexclamation was trying to say, before backpedaling out of the position, is that the chick should be worried about the fact that her guy is banging other blokes. even if it happened in the past, i highly doubt you can turn anyone straight if they weren’t before and vice versa.

  12. slicingupeyeballs

    vincent,
    it could be as simple as fat women being so hideous they turn their blokes gay…?

  13. lmao, vincent, you’re effing amazing. Never fail to please us. I can’t even really make a comment about the post, because you’ve got it completely covered.

    Unlike the tarp from a boat to Ms. Snorlax up there with her kid.
    Oh yes, a Pokemon reference, I did just go there.

  14. I can sympathize with what #6 is saying. I know I’ve never gone after a partner’s ex, although thats not say I haven’t wanted to cause some of them just don’t stay in the past. If I can assume what he/she is trying to get at is that this woman’s reaction would indicate that her fiance just sprang it on her “oh btw, I used to fuck men and this one guy in particular”. That still doesn’t make it right for this woman to chase the guy down with her daughter in tow.

  15. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    After being cheated on the, going after the other person is just fucken stupid. How about you go after your partner who actually owes you some fidelity not the random person they slept with. And yes I know this wasn’t a cheating scenario.

    I wonder who the gay guy was fantasizing about when he made a baby with the fat bitch.

  16. Okay… I’m just pissed off at this… woman-thing.
    I admit that I’m rather insecure, and at times, unreasonably jealous (in the sense that I don’t like certain things my partner does – but I would never try to forbid him from doing it. It’s a trait left by two cheating ex-fiances and one emotionally abusive boyfriend). I do not particularly enjoy spending time with my partner’s ex’es. But even so, no matter how jealous, insecure or bat-shit insane you are, behaving like this is just picking a fight – and I don’t get why the Marc-guy even participated and didn’t call store security or even the police on her fat ass!

    Everyone has a past, man. I’m 24 and I assume that these people can’t be far out of my age bracket – finding someone who hasn’t been with anybody would be hard, but the behavior of this woman-beast makes me cringe. Was her name written on the guy before they got together? How stupid can you be, and why did you get to breed?!

    Must be PMS time again. Or I’m just allergic to such idiocy…

  17. Anyone named Marc-Andre who continues to go by the name Marc-Andre is as gay as gay. It’s a fact of life, I’m afraid.
    Another fact of life: if a male sleeps with the aforementioned Marc-Andre, who is as gay as gay, he is at the very least (best case scenario for his baby-mama) bi-sexual.
    And Yet another fact of life: you cannot reasonably expect a monogamous relationship with your significant other if he is, in fact, bi-sexual.

    …best case scenario, because in all likelihood Marc-Andre’s former lover is as gay as Marc-Andre himself and is merely keeping up the most transparent of appearances.

  18. I had a holiday in the Isles of Walmart once. It was a great time. Cheap prices. Interesting locals. Highly recommended.

  19. @17 I’m bi-sexual, and have one partner. A boyfriend. Not all of us are sluts who want a dick and pussy at once. To group everyone together is just being idiotic and following stereotypes, sorry.

    The guys fucked before the dude got with the crazy bitch…not during the relationship. Before. As in, not cheating. Hence, the post…she went off on him, for something he did BEFORE she was with him.

    Before.

  20. @Keona I’m gay. I’ve made no secret of that in previous comments. And I’m not going to try and define the term bi-sexual here, because it is, strangely, self-descriptive.

    Suffice it to say, if you are attracted to both sexes, wouldn’t settling for one sex negate the fact that you are attracted to both sexes.

    Listen: I know that I’m just being facetious, but consider the following… If you only present 1/2 of what your partner wants, how can you expect them to remain faithful?

  21. @isglory

    That’s bullshit. That’s just an excuse to be a slut. When I have a girlfriend I still see other girls I want to have sex with, but I don’t have sex with them. No one is ever so sexually satisfied by their partner that they stop lusting after everyone else in the world Monogomy is no more difficult for a bi-sexual person or a gay person than it is for a straight person. Sure a bi-sexual might walk down the street and see more people they want to screw than a straight person, but that doesn’t mean it’s harder for you to resist.

  22. Excuse to be a slut? I never mentioned anything about being a slut. You double your temptation, and it’s not harder to resist? Okay.

    If you really want to have this argument, it’s yours. Go ahead, take it.

    Maybe we view things differently from the “gay” male perspective, but in my experience (real valid, I know) “bi-sexual” women are over-compensating and “bi-sexual” men are pretending.

    I’m not even going to bother with common sense. Everyone’s a better person than everyone else, right? Okay, so…as the kids say, whatever.

  23. Temptation doesn’t quantify like that and you know it. You can sit there and be all “oh, i’m gay so I know better and your argument is invalid” but that’s a pretty lame way to prove your point.

    Fact is if you personally can’t commit to one person that’s your deal, not all bi-sexual people are like that. Just because that happens to be part of your personality doesn’t mean you can attribute your sexual ambiguity to your sexual orientation. It just makes people with different sexual orientation seem like they’re more concerned with sex than the emotional part of a relationship.

  24. You’re a good guy, XS. How ’bout we meet for a brew sometime?

    You win. Take it. Take it, all.

  25. go XS go!

    i find men and women attractive, that doesn’t mean i’m going to hop on every hot person i’ve met. that would be tiring… and i love my partner enough to remain faithful. i’m pretty sure being bisexual, gay, or straight has nothing to do with that fact that if you love someone, truly love them, then you’ll hump them and only them:)

  26. let’s be honest, men are genetically predisposed to having sex with any partners as possible. straight guys delude themselves with the whole monogamy thing in order to improve their chances of procreation, but that’s just dishonest. gays don’t need to pretend, that’s why we enjoy longer, healthier and more fulfilled lives. that’s why allah cursed us with aids in the 1980s, he is really repressed and jealous.

    keona, i know a lot of girls who claim to be bisexual. most of them just say this to make themselves seem more interesting in conversation. their claims are generally based on kissing their friend at a sleepover, or getting a wide-on watching marissa’s lesbian kiss on the OC. these girls do tend to crave a cock, and the whole bisexual thing is just an accessory to their hip androgynous image. i’m not saying this necessarily applies to you, but i am skeptical. lets have a few gory details, eh?

    i’m enjoying the sexy vibe in this thread by the way. cyber, anyone?

  27. So this is the real Vincent? A sex-crazed maniac who tries to stir the pot on lamebook? Vastly preferable to the earlier Vincent

  28. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    Ahhh my old catchphrase : MONOGAMY SUCKS!

  29. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    or wait was it “FUCK MONOGAMY!”?

  30. vincent, you can take what I say, and believe what you will. Well, this goes to the few above. I am one of the people who have pride, too much in fact. I could care less what people think of me, and therefore, don’t try to put on a show or try to do anything to make myself seem anything.

    _isglory Yes, bisexuals have lusts for two instead of one. But, as others have said, if you love your partner enough, and have enough self control (which honestly is not difficult in the least) then no, it’s not twice as hard to resist. It’s the same amount. (which again, isn’t hard to resist temptation.

    Some gays are fake, do do this or that for attention. Some are real. You may as well generalise straights as being fake.

    I’m falling asleep. You guys have it out, and I’ll blissfully read what ensues whilst rub a dub dubbing. Make sure you make it interesting, and naughty. Oh, and dead babies.

  31. OK ! SO SINCE THIS HAPPENNED TO ME! ILL TELL YOU WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENNED!

    basically i was friends with the girls sister , and we were talking about HORRIBLY ugly guys we had fucked when we were drunk, soooooo i said the dudes name, and se was like omfg thats my sisters fiance, and thennnn obviously she went and told her sister and this happenned like a week later.

    BTW i am a man, its a french name.

  32. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    So he wasn’t with the fat girl (his beard) because he was gay, he chose the fat girl because he was horribly ugly?

  33. I think Ms. Walmart should play a nice round of Turn In Your Ovaries.

    marcandre (if you really are Marc-Andre, I think my skepticality is justified here) so is this fiancee guy bisexual or gay? Because his baby momma should probably clear that up first, before taking out her rage on you.

  34. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    “skepticality”? It’s Skepticism.

  35. keona – no offence intended. i just happen to know a lot of straight people who claim to be bisexual without, to my knowledge, ever having had a meaningful same-sex relationship, or even a slap and tickle. this seems to be particularly true in girls, i put it down to straight male locker room fantasies. i think there should be a test for faux lesbians/bisexuals: throw them naked in room full of shaven-headed, tank-top wearing butches and see how much they enjoy it.

    there are also lots of gay men who claim bisexuality, this is also usually a bullshit attempt to pacify their inner republican and maintain some veneer of social acceptability. just because you managed to fuck a few girls in high school doesn’t mean you’re not gay.

    conclusion: i’m sure there are some actual bisexuals out there, but nowhere near as many as claim to be.

  36. Marc i feel your pain, i was once harassed in an Asda too.

    Apparently you’re not allowed to wank off whilst fingering your shitter in ANY of the aisles.

  37. @vincent “i think there should be a test for faux lesbians/bisexuals: throw them naked in room full of shaven-headed, tank-top wearing butches and see how much they enjoy it.”

    As a straight looking lesbo I gotta admit that sounds nightmarish :P

  38. squiffy, I agree. Apparently, I look straight, but those super butch “could be a man” small titted women, scare me. They don’t look like they want a fuck, they look like they want a rape victim/ “punching bag to make their muscles bigger” combo.

    I’d be screaming uncle and auntie before they ever would.

  39. I got 3 things to say:

    1. Bisexual men and women are just as capable of remaining faithful in a monogamous relationship as straight and gay people.

    2. Women who say they are “bi” just to cater to men’s fantasies are one of my biggest pet peeves. If you are truly bi you could be happy and fulfilled being in a relationship with either sex. If you are basically straight but find yourself turned on by women sometimes, this just means you are curious/bent or whatever. Not actually bi.

    3. People just should leave the past in the past. Displaying jealousy (especially extremely public fighting-in-Walmart-style jealousy) over your partner’s past lovers is one of the least attractive things you can do.

  40. i read marc andre’s posts & comment in the voice of Antoine Dodson.

  41. @Shinsplints….
    I did too. I think there is a new YouTube video in the making as we speak.

  42. So I read that differently. Maybe I just have a perverse mind, but he said basically that they fought and argued and then it was later, she cornered him and then they “had it out…” I thought maybe it was a sexual reference, lol. Why else would he say then fought and then had it out? That’s a redundancy.

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