Friday, February 19, 2010

Use Your Head

previous post: Putting the Ewww in Douchebag

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44 Comments

  1. WTF is up with the names in the first entry? Sounds like a bunch of hippie spawn to me.

  2. And why is the first name completely blocked?

  3. @jtibbs

    Lamebook does that if/when the facebook user only has one name OR if the first name is so unique, that simply doing a search for it would bring back a single result.

    With the names in question, I would guess that this would be true.

    I wonder which scene it was.

  4. I’m rather curious as to what scene it was myself!

  5. I also wanna know what scene it was!!

  6. @mcowles If that were true, how coem they didn’t do it for cequoyah and ezrick?

  7. @ Stine:
    If I’m not mistaken..I think Ezrick is an Amish name. Cequoyah girl is most likely black and Kezia..not sure.

    Ahaha, I’m having a girl in 2 weeks, but now I’m looking forward to having a boy, just for the lulz that will ensue if she ever catches him ‘making a friend’. xD

  8. Friends huh?

  9. in this day and age filled with porn the lil’ boy is frapping away on … friends ?

    Maybe he really likes joey ?

  10. it’s an easter egg on the region 2 dvd boxset for season 6. ‘the one with the gang bang’.

  11. It will be that episode where Joey says something stupid, Chandler makes a joke, Rachel goes shopping and Monica does some cleaning. Meanwhile, Ross is embarrassing himself in front of a hot girl and Phoebe is being all quirky. You know the one.

  12. I, for one, am proud of a young man that can use Jennifer Aniston’s nippular fortitude to get off. Allow him this time of innocence, for soon enough, he will be searching out midget clown bukakke just to get a semi-chub.

  13. So true, Soup. Ah to be 12 again, when the blurry misprinted black and white bra ads in the local newspaper could serve as masturbation material.

  14. haha i was almost tempted to google the midget clown bukakke

  15. LOL @gingivitis! Isn’t that the one titled “the one where…”
    Just like Gilligan’s Island – you know, the episode when the Skipper gets mad at Gilligan, Mary Anne and Ginger compete for the Professors’ attention, Lovey and Thurston are demanding to be catered to and the Professor is coming up with some new way to use coconuts or tree sap. You know, that one…

  16. I bet it’s the one where Monica and Rachel are showing Chandler how to please a woman in bed. They draw him a diagram of different “erogenous” zones and then describe how to use them.

    Monica: First a little 1, then a 2, then a 1,2,3… 1,2,4… 1,2,4,5… 1,6… 1,7… 2,7… 3,7… 7… 7… 7… 7!

    By the end she’s hoarse a little and just using her hands and mouthing “seven”.

    Rachel seems a bit flush and Chandler is awstruck.

    I used to love that show, haha. Oh, and I’m such a loser. Anyone else remember that episode?

  17. Oh,geez, Soup! Hahahhahahahha!

  18. I’ll say it again. Aiden is the worst. name. ever.

  19. I might just be wantin’ a bagel with my coffee.

  20. Anyone ever wank over the Flat Slags in Viz when they were 12? No, me neither.

  21. It’s sad to say how correct Soup is.

    I’m sure every guy here remembers the days of yore, when you would sneak a JC Penny’s or H&M (for our European friends) catalog into the bedroom to … “shake the hand of Abraham”.

    Anyone still get turned on by tiny frontal views of mediocre lingerie and “body stockings”?

  22. This is very fascinating. Go on gentleman, discuss.

  23. Whoa, I didn’t see that I said almost the same thing as Sensible Madness… sorry about that, sir.

  24. @eenerbl

    Masturbation is much like sex in a marriage. After a many years of a marriage, sex can become stale and boring. You need things to spice it up as a normal movie night and missionary just doesn’t cut it anymore. That’s when the whips and chains and bananas and blood letting come into play.

    Masturbation is similar. You start out with black and white bra ads (missionary position) and build up to playboy (doggy style) and soon you’re watching transvestite porn while punching yourself over and over in the thigh (reverse cowgirl).

    And since teenage boys “fondle the ferret” a LOT more often than married people have sex… the staleness occurs much more quickly, hence the need for midget bukakke, which, I think is loosely translated to a donkey punch in the married world.

  25. Those days sucked mcowles… Had to still nudie mag from the store to get material… now the internet, pics to my cell, and even vids on my cell I have porn where ever I go… I just need to get a tv in the front of my vehicle so I can watch while stuck in the morning commute

  26. *steal :doh:

  27. Amazing. Thank you mcowles for that wonderful trip through masturbation progression.

  28. Im sure it was a hot scene with Jennifer Aniston bare foot or something. Foot fetishes FTW!

  29. @16 mcowles – I remember that scene! So funny.

  30. Sensible Madness and Slimjayz has brought back some childhood memories.. Boy! those were the days.
    Sensible Madness and Slimjayz FTW!

  31. So he was rewinding Friends… does that mean he had video? Is this a facebook post from 1994? I didn’t realise kids wanked off to video anymore. Hasn’t he heard that the internet has been invented and there is a whole treasure trove of smut on red tube.

  32. @Mercure You do realise that you can rewind dvds too, don’t you? You can fast forward them too. Also, if he downloaded it or watched it on YouTube, you can rewind that, too.

  33. ThinkingInPictures

    Bookworm, you can rewind DvDs and YouTube or whatever, but you generally don’t hear it. With those old tapes, you definitely did… maybe that’s what Mercure was getting at.

    Though I’m guessing that what made Jared suspicious was hearing the same dialogue again and again, not so much a rewind noise.

  34. Hey, Larry David turns me on, so I can’t really berate some dude for wacking off to Friends can I?

  35. Soup FTW!!!

  36. @16 mcowles: I remember that too. So good.

    I don’t know which situation would be worse: having your brother walk in on you jerking off or your grandma. Because that last option happened to me. Twice.

  37. Gahhh, why didn’t they say what scene it was??! Damn, I want to know lol

  38. mcowels: “Masturbation is similar. You start out with black and white bra ads (missionary position) and build up to playboy (doggy style) and soon you’re watching transvestite porn while punching yourself over and over in the thigh (reverse cowgirl).” Ahh that seriously made me laugh out loud. Well done sir!

  39. @Andrizzle – You’d think Grandma would have learned her lesson the first time…

  40. I’m the one who submitted this (I’m Angelica btw) The reason his entire name is blurred out is because his name is in Japanese writing.

    A few minutes after this status, he later posted the correct status with the words ‘think’ capitalized.

  41. Maybe it was the episode where Phoebe was giving Monica a massage and she was making sex noises?

  42. Ah yes, to be 7 again. No shaving. No deodorant. Women in bras in KMart catalogues, and no clean up required. But by the time you’re 9, you’re a stinking, hairy sex fiend. So is the life of every male.

  43. thrushy buttcakes

    a slight case of Caught-ny Cocks?

  44. PosterformerlyknownasTristan

    Redtube FTW!

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