Thursday, October 29, 2009

Twilight Saga: You Sure it Was the Beer?


previous post: Looks like ANOTHER week



  1. This is slightly less lame than the other Twilighters.

  2. It disturbs me that people of legal drinking age (though that assumption might be a leap from this post) would still read Twilight.

  3. it’s twilight. it’s all lame.

  4. Then you have not been to your local library Kid. Many adults read the Twilight Series. So much so that there are even copies of Stephanie Meyer books in the Adult Fiction section. I feel sorry for people who choose their literature based on what they think is grown up or not.

  5. Thank goodness she got vomit all over her twilight book.

  6. I agree with Noobie.

  7. Sounds like she got roofied?

  8. Becca, I feel sorry for people who consider Twilight “literature.”

  9. Kate, I feel sorry for people who consider Twilight.

  10. becca.. grown ups want the so called adult versions with different covers because they don’t want to get beats when reading in public.. twilight is gay

  11. Steve, I wish it was gayer, then I might be inspired to read it.

  12. Twilight is for people who hate reading.

  13. I barf on Twilight books when I’m NOT drunk.

  14. I don’t understand people who can’t “go from” drinking one thing to another. I guess they’re just not as super-awesome as me.

  15. At least someone gave that Twilight book what it deserved. It’s about time!

    And Becca, I hate people who choose “literature” based on the fact that it’s popular among 14-year-old girls.

  16. i know huh, oh crap i did not use propers grammar or spellings NOOOO

  17. I guess when you’re feeling ill, you don’t need to see a copy of Twilight.

  18. I am a full blown sexist.

  19. Dear me Kristin. With wild party girl behaviour like that, Edward will never go for you.
    If you can see past the splatters of vomit on your book, you will find that Bella is the type of girl who nearly has a fullblown panic attack (Jessica) at the thought of something so horribly social as a party.
    Time to start reinventing your image if you ever want to bag yourself a piece of that sexy undead flesh.

  20. WTF is the obsession with Twilight?!

  21. flips, you have obviously never read it.
    Im 24 and I got sucked it too…. I spilled coffee on my New Moon book and was devastated.

  22. Oh no Becky, I’ve read them all! I just feel neither the hate nor the love! Though, I’m 29 and was a tad embarrassed to be seen reading them in public…

  23. @Becca-

    The problem people have with Twilight is not that it was intended for teenagers, there are some great young adult books out there. The problem is that it’s a shallow, poorly written piece of shit with no character development and yet the majority of the population doesn’t seem to be intelligent or well-read enough to figure that out. So the fact that so many adults read and enjoy it is very sad indeed.

  24. I hate the hype around Twilight. I much preferred when nobody knew about it and my friends wouldn’t listen to me when I told them to read it. Now people want to have an opinion about it and they just love to put everyone down, just because of those brainless screaming girls. (It’s to do with jealousy too, a human will never compare to a vampire, sorry)

    I’m not ashamed to read anything. Reading is great, the more books the better. People who judge a book by its cover are ignorant. People who judge books without having read them are stupid.

    You’re all just jumping on the Twilight hate bandwagon. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. So sad.

    What’s even more sad, is me feeling the need to defend Twilight. FFS.

  25. I’m not simply jumping on a bandwagon. I read it, and I thought it was lousy. I even like stories about vampires, I just think this particular series is thoroughly mediocre. The fact that people rave about it and keep telling me it’s just as good as Harry Potter is completely depressing.

  26. Goodest Spellerer

    I was so embarrassed when I was caught reading Twilight on the bus.

    To solve this, I simply put a Matthew Reilly cover over the top of the Twilight cover. I thought: “this guy’s apparently popular, so it must be OK” – until a fellow commuter pointed out that I now looked like I had the literary tastes of a 14 y.o. boy instead of a 14 y.o. girl.

    Next time, I’m going with Dan Brown.

  27. @ mittens – Oh it’s definitely NOT better than Harry Potter! There are so many levels to HP, it’s pretty much epic. Edward, however, fulfils fantasies that Harry can’t.

    I DON’T like stories about vampires, so maybe that’s why I liked this one.

    You read it, you didn’t like it, I have no argument with you :)

  28. MTM- Ok, at least you recognize HP’s superiority, you’re alright : ) I don’t hate everybody who likes Twilight, I just don’t really understand the ones who are so crazy for it. Also, I work at a bookstore and am very tired of customers telling me it’s “the best book everrr ohmigod!”

  29. forget the twilight portion of this. what the hell is she doing getting sh*tfaced drunk at home alone? and how can she POSSIBLY expect to read a book after drinking ALL THE BOOZE?

  30. My mother bit my vagina and gave me rabies….now I am foaming at the mouth and ready to attack my shadow.

  31. MTM – I read the books. All of them. Because I decided it wasn’t fair for me to hate them without reading them. The only, and I mean the ONLY, scene worth reading was the one where Bella’s mutant freak baby chews its way out, or whatever happened.

    Everything else was just so much pro-abstinence bullshit. And actually, so was that, now that I think of it.

  32. @29 nuts
    She didn’t say she was sh*tfaced drunk at home alone, just sh*tfaced drunk. Highly probable that she’d been out first and done that sh*t when she got home. IF she had been sh*tfaced drunk alone at home then that would add another whole (even sadder) facet to it though.

    I also doubt she was reading the book at the time, more that it was merely ‘there’ and unfortunately in the trajectory of the projectile. Nice.

    Sh*t I’m a picky mood today. No fun. Good job it’s Friday.

  33. I was gonna say something witty about throwing up on the twilight book but i see pretty much every other comment beat me too it.

  34. Agreed, I want to throw up when people are all like “AAAAAHHH TWILIGHT IT’S TWILIGHT OMG TWILIIIIGHT!!!!!!! I adoooooOOOOORE Rob He’s so HOTTTTTT” ugh barf.. I still enjoyed the read though. Feel like a teenager who is deeply in love again.. Then put the book down and remember why you are happy you’re way past it. :-)

  35. I picked up a Twilight book once, and the sentence I read was so grammatically incorrect I vomited in my mouth a little…maybe she was doing the same?

    Clearly we’re not giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps her subconscious mind was trying to purge the filth.

  36. @MTM – I think there’s a difference between people who read Twilight as a kind of “guilty pleasure” — and acknowledge it — and people who staunchly insist that the books are the pinnacle of great literature, and all the haters are just Totallyz Jealous of Stephenie Meyerz.

    I’ve read them. Can’t stand them, could argue for days about the damage they’re doing to the minds of young girls, but luckily, Lamebook is showcasing it for me.

  37. @Chinchillazilla- RIGHT? RIGHT? I tell everyone I know to skip the first three and cut straight to the scene in Book 4 where Edward rips open Bella’s uterus with his teeth. Nothing says Good Readin’ like Uterine Bleedin’.


    this is a great piece that explains why not everyone can be a writer.

    “adaptation” is a great movie that explains why people who are not writers get their screenplays made into movies/get their books published.

    so no, MTM. more books is not “better”. perhaps more entertaining for a broader audience, and a more profitable way to run the publishing industry.

    i’m enjoying the lamebook twilight saga. it’s not well-written, but it’s damn entertaining and i don’t even have to pay for it.

  39. I don’t understand whats so bad about the books
    the movie, i understand, but the books? i dont get it lol

  40. Other than the fact they’re for children and are read by adults?

  41. Guess it is pretty lame for adults to read the books, but why talk bad about the books? i mean, sure you’re allowed to dislike the genre/storyline, but dont need to make fun of people who do like it.. im not calling harry potter fans gay, just because i think the story is lame

  42. + i meant to say, its all fiction. twilight just has this romantic side to it which teenagers like (and no, im not in love with edward)

  43. @Hayley: teenagers, fine. I’m just trying to fathom the appeal of this stuff for women in their 30′s (with degrees and professional jobs). Like the HP phenomenon that gripped adults: do. not. get. it.

  44. Okay, probably going to sound a bit of an old fart, but WTF is this Twilight that you all seem to know so much about??! I thought I was an avid reader but I’ve never even heard of this shit. Perhaps it’s not popular in the UK…?

  45. I’m with headless (#44). I’ve gleaned from lamebook that it’s to do with vampires and some guy called edward and it’s all the rage in giddy-teenage-land, but it didn’t seem to catch on here in South Africa either. Or else I’m just out of whack. So it is odd to find how almost everybody else on this site seem to have all the details about it – or perhaps I just slept through the last six months. Or six hours. You never know with popular culture.

    Back to Kristin’s post, I don’t think we need to do any more than shake our heads, maybe. She will grow up one day, and look back at these events with some embarrassment. That’s her problem. While I’ll be glad that there was no facebook in my days – I also thought my drunken antics were funny back then and I did share it with all my friends. Now I hope lamebook helps young people to think a bit more carefully before posting!

  46. @ Jaco
    - Twilight has been huge in SA for more than a year now. I think you must have been living in a cave or something.

  47. @H
    Thanks H, guess I am in a cave. I still wanted to go all hysterical about this new young talent I discovered this week, a guy called Frank Sinatra, but I’ll brush up on this Twilight phenomenon instead.

  48. On second thoughts, Sinatra sounds a whole lot more interesting.

  49. @ mittens – Oh, I’m definitely under no illusion that it’s the best book ever written! I feel for you, having to see girls (and women!) going crazy over it pretty much everyday!

    @ Chinchillazilla – You’ve read the books and didn’t like them, again, no argument here from me :)
    That scene you mention really freaked me out! Renesme is a little monster.

    @ Erin – I definitely read the Twilight books as a guilty pleasure! I do it without shame, which makes me rare apparently. And I can’t believe there’s people calling them the pinnacle of literature..! Seriously?

    @ voice of reason – ok.

    I don’t appreciate the Twilight books for their deep, hidden meaning. Not for their literary content or for the author’s way with words…
    For goodness’ sake, are you all snobs who refuse to read anything that’s not an accurate, intelligent, meaningful biography or well-written and well-researched historical tome??
    Let’s not forget what’s so great about books after all, and fiction in particular: ESCAPISM.
    I’ve seen women over 30 who hadn’t read a book in 10 years fall in love with Twilight. What’s so bad about that?? If its encouraging reading, I’m all for it.

    Having said that, there are parts of the books that don’t make any sense to me and that I really hate!

    Enjoy your weekend everyone!

  50. Twilight is the best book ever written.

  51. I used to quite enjoy reading the comments section of each post, now I skip through them by about comment 20 cos I get so bored

  52. @ hmmm: You need to scoot on over to the ‘Caring Chris’ thread, then – it doesn’t disappoint! :-)

  53. Who ever posted using my name I hope you feel better about yourself now.

  54. Is your vagina ok Becca?

  55. Just fine and yours?

  56. I don’t appreciate you referring to my girlfriend as a “vagina”. I have respect for women.

  57. Get a flat sphincter in under a week.
    ASK ME HOW !


  59. Thesaurapist 13(F)


    here’s an amusing account of what’s wrong with the books, written (I think) by a fairly sharp teenage girl, who as an ex-mormon really has a handle on where the morality of the series comes from:

    If you’re going to read something aimed at younger people, I’d thoroughly recommend suggest Phillip Pullman, and leave the Rowling and Meyers stuff to the under 16s . . .

  60. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    Oops. Unnecessary ‘suggest’.
    (Grammar Nazi is embarrassed)

  61. One day, I’ma marry that girl.

  62. It’s funny how you can see she is making one of those stupid kissy faces in her picture even with the blurring.

  63. I hate that stupid duck face women make.

  64. There’s a website for that–

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