Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Twilight Saga: Snuggies & Twilight

snuggies

previous post: Hakeem OlajuGone

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155 Comments

  1. Todd kicks ass.

  2. hahaha sooooo true

  3. Lamebook’s twilight saga is soooo much better than the real twilight saga.

  4. good lord. lol

  5. Welcome to Winbook.

  6. He’s an Edward fangirl?

  7. While I would agree with the prediction that hubby’s going to come out as a fudgepacker any day now, is it wrong that the idea of watching a movie in a blanket robe is kind of appealing?

  8. On reflection, yes. It is. :(

  9. Wow what’s that guy’s problem?

  10. I make sweet love to Todd just for that comment. Underneath a Snuggie, too.

  11. WHAT?!

  12. This is the best one yet!

  13. Dang it, my first comment and there’s a typo.

    Just for that comment, I would make sweet love to Todd. And we’d do it underneath a Snuggie, too.

  14. I literally LOL’d. That was fucking epic! TODD FTW

  15. Todd hit the nail right on the head

  16. yes! brutal honesty wins.

  17. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    @ Supersally
    I think I liked the oddly original grammar of your first attempt more than the revised version.

    Todd’s tough-love most definitely FTW!

  18. My bf is very, very straight and he didn’t mind watching twilight with me. Its just a movie for petes sake, when did liking vampire movies make someone queer?

    The snuggy thing is epic gay tho.

  19. i wonder if he is fucking todd?

  20. Twilight isn’t a vampire movie in any real sense. If my husband showed interest in watching it at all, never mind making me watch it, I’d be doubting his heterosexuality pretty strongly.

  21. Twilight is fucking gay. End of story.

  22. @ sarah04

    ha ha HA!

  23. In addendum to todd’s brilliant assessment, if you feel the need to post on facebook: “SNUGGIES and TWILIGHT” then I would further that you are too young and/or immature to be married. Christ. What is the deal with teenagers getting married (physically or mentally) people need to grow the hell up first. Todd is right, the dude is probably gay and won’t come out yet.

  24. Imho Todd is just jealous of the dude that knows how to get sex out of his wife. They’ll be fucking in snuggies while Todd plays around on FB to make himself feel better.

  25. @Hmm

    IMHO you’re an idiot

  26. todd is still bitter since lisa married that other guy…

  27. I’ve been to many a chick flick in hopes that it’d get me laid afterwards (and most times it did), however, no vagina in the world will ever be enough to get me to put on a snuggie.

  28. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    @mandybadger

    Oh come on; since when was Twilight a movie about *vampires*?

  29. The only thing I noticed is that Lisa totally failed to reply to Todd’s final comment and come rushing to her husbands defence. Hopefully she’s seen the light of day (haha no pun intended) and is currently preparing aforementioned divorce papers.

  30. I like how interest in a certain movie is an indicator of your sexuality. Like @Jane said, “Todd hit the nail right on the head” as far as homophobia goes.

  31. Thesaurapist 13(F) wrote: “Oh come on; since when was Twilight a movie about *vampires*?”

    This is true. Twilight is intended as a morality tale for teenagers to teach them abstinence and sexual responsibility. It looks like a harmless vampire movie at first, but when you realize there’s a thinly veiled “message” there, it starts to look rather preachy.

    I’m just surprised so many kids are taken in by it. Usually when you preach to teens, even if you try to disguise it as something else, they’re smarter than that and reject it.

  32. Actually, Todd seems a little too preoccupied by what is or isn’t masculine. Lisa’s husband is one smart dude who is going to get laid right after the movie.

  33. Ali has a point, but regardless of whether or not she’s correct, Todd is awesome.

    Though I must say, I fail to see how a person could look doable in a snuggie…

  34. Seriously, am I the only woman in the world who finds NO attraction in so-called vampires? What the hell is wrong with females??? Vampires don’t exist! Get a real life boyfriend!

  35. Todd speaks the truth. I don’t know how anyone can wear a Snuggie without feeling like either a baffoon or a cultist.

  36. Ali FTW

  37. @Spike – your point is what, exactly?

  38. Since when does a guy watching a film that teenage girls are obsessed with get him laid? Wow, Twilight and snuggies; the best foreplay around.

  39. @hmmm
    Lisa seems pretty happy with it. Not least because of the caps and exclamations, so I’d guess that in her case it might well be!

  40. Dear Todd, I *heart* you. Thx. Bye.

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  42. If the girl’s idea of an amazing night is watching a shitty, teenie-bopper movie while wearing a snuggie (snuggies barely even allow cuddling, much less any other form of foreplay) then I fear the most the husband can hope for is half a hand job.

  43. Todd may not get sex tonight, but I believe that Lisa’s husband will only get a hand job by a twilight teletubbie.

  44. Todd is too awesome, completely blew her away.

    I’ve sat through twilight (I was on a plane for 12 hours for crying out loud) and I had this odd sensation, kind of like someone taking a power drill with a broken bit to some porcelain.

  45. Am I the only one seeing this ‘Twilight’ casting gang banner ad on the right? ROFL.

  46. Wow, Todd is a dick haha. But amazing!

  47. Twilight is the romantization of homosexual males as the perfect life partner by naive tweener girls and bored housewives. It’s their Playboy playmate.

    Ladies: It sounds great on paper until you are left at home alone while he is out seeing how many guys he can blow in one night and his junk totally stretches out your favorite panties that he borrowed…

  48. Muthafukin' Maurice

    This made me so happy

  49. @mandybadger
    Defending what might imply your husband as a homosexual as not “gay” and calling out what doesn’t endanger your husband of being attracted to the same gender as “gay” is pathetic. Both are stereotypically very, very “gay”. He can still like Twilight if he wants, but he is just as “gay” as someone’s husband who likes to wear a snuggie and is just as likely to up and leave you for Allen from the office Christmas party.

  50. @30 Boz – ….Seriously? Todd’s not homophobic for suggesting that a man is gay for buying Snuggies and willingly watching two and a half hours of Robert Pattinson’s Rape Stare. In fact, I’m pretty sure Todd is a good representation of the Straight Male Reaction to that little movie night.

  51. @50 Failbot – …I think Boz might just have being a tad sarcastic (or isn’t the real Boz)

  52. This guy is married and clearly does not give a fuck about anything. What has he got to lose by watching a lame movie and wearing ugly clothes. What does he give a shit? He probably watches glee and wears sandals with socks. It’s over for this guy

  53. @50: You took the words right out of my mouth

  54. Thinks that you lot are lame, so what if she’s going to snuggly and watch a movie with her partner? Todd is a dick.

    Relationships are about give and take, tomorrow she may be watching Die Hard and drinking JD when it’s his choice.

    Again… Todd is the only lame one here

  55. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    @Failbot
    [I]“…watching two and a half hours of Robert Pattinson’s Rape Stare.”[/I]
    Fucking. Nice. One.
    Will so be using that expression.

  56. Todd is awesome

  57. The type of post I’ve come to appreciate from lamebook. Two thumbs up for Tom.

  58. Who’s Tom?

  59. I bet Lisa and the husband are Mormon.

  60. @ Failbot – ‘Rape Stare’: spectacular.
    @ Boz ( or whoever you are)- Todd was just getting straight to the point, no?

    There are a lot of women who can’t stand the thought of reading or watching that shit either. Definitely dodgy if a guy is more than ok with it. I think Todd was probably telling her not to get too smug about her overly-obliging husband.

  61. Todd sounds bitter and angry. And so do most of you.

  62. @ Mary: Nope, you’re not the only one…not at all attracted to them. Those books disturb me – they teach girls to romanticize abusive relationships and act like a doormat. As for the women over 15 who like that crap…well, that just fucking astounds me.

  63. I’d rather see the OTHER Twilight(1998) where Reese Witherspoon shows her rack.

  64. Allen from the Christmas office party

    He’s into Snuggies? Oh gross! We are totally finished, Lisa can keep him!!!!!1!

  65. @Failbot

    “Todd’s not homophobic for suggesting that a man is gay for buying Snuggies and willingly watching two and a half hours of Robert Pattinson’s Rape Stare”

    Actually, he is. He is implying that being “gay” is something bad, which is homophobic.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Using-the-Word-%22Gay%22-Inappropriately

  66. You know what, nevermind. FUCK PEOPLE WHO WATCH TWILIGHT THEY’RE FUCKING GAY

  67. @Boz: “Actually, he is. He is implying that being “gay” is something bad, which is homophobic.”

    But it is bad to pretend you aren’t gay by marrying a woman. So for a supposedly straight married man, yes, being “gay” IS something bad.

  68. @Chinchillazilla

    He’s gay for watching Twilight, and it’s a bad thing. I agree.

  69. I love snuggies. :D

  70. My father is still annoyed that “gay” doesn’t mean “happy” anymore.

    What now, word-lovers?

  71. @Chin
    I enjoy the company of homosexuals. Does that make me gay?

  72. Uhhh, why would it make you gay? I don’t think I implied that at all.

    Unless you mean you “enjoy the company of homosexuals” up the butt. Then, yes. You are gay.

  73. @southernbelle-bravo! i could’t stand how useless and helpless bella was, what a drip Edward was and how unnecessary and irritating some of the others were *cough* esme, carlisle, *cough*

    Todd rocks!

  74. I miss the days when the word “gay” just meant lame.

  75. I’m gay and would never watch Twilight. The lead guy that all the girls are in love with looks gay to me, the unattractive snotty kind of gay. Women make no sense.

  76. I m straight but couldn t agree with you more Deuce… Women make no sense…

  77. [...] lamebook Like this post? Share [...]

  78. There is a general consensus on lamebook that women are inferior to men. In a perfect world, this comment section would dictate the laws, and women would be caged.

  79. eff off Boz, the pathetic thing is that men can be so trained so damn easy. They are like sheep.

  80. See, this is why all the “Boz” identities need to be banned. Because when SuperSparklyOriginal!Boz says something unfunny, and people call him on it, he can backtrack and claim someone was impersonating him again. And then make a chauvinistic post to “prove” it.

    Boz, baby, you’ve jumped the shark.

  81. I’m straight and I even enjoy Cabaret, but Twilight is STILL too gay for me.

  82. I totally agree with # 3 & Todd is my new hero.

  83. Lisa’s husband probably bought Man Pillows for the both of them, too.

  84. Todd’s begging for an ass whoopin. But from the looks of it her husband isn’t the type.

    Also the joke he made was pretty fucking unoriginal.

  85. What you want to bet Todd takes it up the ass in the park on the way home from work?

  86. Wow, he mad a gay joke. How fucking original.

  87. Being gay is a bad thing.

  88. Being gay is such a horrible thing.

  89. @ OOBL

    If you can name anyone else in the movie besides the two main characters, then you are gay…no matter what age you are.

  90. I’m gay

  91. @ DrZaius

    The husband of Lisa does not need to buy Man Pillows cause Lisa already provides two of them…

  92. @ Everyone posting here,

    From now on, commenting on lamebook is gay.

  93. And commenting while calling it gay is my cute little way of coming out to everyone.

  94. Little Miss Bitch

    No gay man would be caught dead in a snuggie. They are just so unflattering. FACT.

  95. @ProudHomophobe: You need to come to terms with it honey; you’ll be a lot happier in the long run if you just make the move. Can’t be much fun in your sad little closet, now can it?

  96. Todd is a nasty one. He should be spanked in a snuggie.

  97. my mother owns a snuggy and recently, for my friends birthday, she decided she would buy her a snuggie too. that’s right MY friend. strange woman she is.

  98. I came out, and then let my mom run a 3 foot dildo with diesel engine up into my ass, then into my mouth. Inbreeding is IN!

  99. @Tristan

    Fair call. I read all of the books, complaining all the time. Stoopid!

  100. First of all, I want to beat Lisa up. Secondly, good call, Todd!

  101. BTW, I also like how Lisa’s hubby bought the Snuggies for “us” for her birthday. In other words, he really wanted the Snuggie, and veiled it as a birthday gift to her.

  102. Ah Todd made me laugh.

  103. Being comfortable in a socially unacceptable blanket-robe and watching a lame movie for your wife’s birthday probably has zero correlation to fucking dudes. If you really think otherwise, you might be secretly liking men’s asses and projecting.

    Real men worry about real things, not whether they look cool while doing something to make their wife happy.

  104. @Roke That sounded totally gay.

  105. LOL TODD!!!! That is absolute WIN. Lisa’s status has the makings of absolute douchery. My husband and I both make fun of Snuggies and Twilight, which means we’re not lame.

    I think Roke must be the husband. I’m sorry, dude. Now everyone knows you’re a homo.

  106. /agree with skeets and Roke. Todd and half the commentors on this site are far too concerned with other men’s sexuality; wishful thinking guys?

  107. i agree with roke. the husband gets points for trying to get laid. create warm physically comfy environment and get her all wet over the stupid vampire. the husband loses points for having such a lame-oid wife. i hope she’s extremely hot.

  108. So, Mr. “Hmm”, you go on this stupid emo rant about people being conerned about sexuality, then you go and call them gay?

    Congratulations! You are officially an epic fail.

    Oh, and 107, please actually read things before you comment on them. Everything was the husband’s idea.

  109. ummm, 108…i think i made it pretty clear that i was giving the hubby credit for coming up with the idea so he could make it with his wife. pay attention.

  110. Also, christi, you rock. Sounds like we’re two girls who couldn’t give two shits about Twilight. Furthermore, I hate seeing Robert what’s-his-name’s stupid “rape stare” face all over the place. (Rape stare – courtesy of failbot. Awesome.)

  111. The Husband in this post definatly tucks his wiener like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs.

  112. Im a dumb cunt, sorry.

  113. LOL Oh man… Todd = win.

  114. @HA impersonator. Aww. I’m sorry. Were you a little butthurt over my comment? Poor thing. I’ll try to censor myself next time.

  115. Todd is correct about everything but the snuggie. Check this out and thank me later: http://thesnuggiesutra.com/

  116. As a real man, I can confirm that Roke already hit the nail on the head but let King Big Daddy David break it down for you anyway:

    This story involves 3 people and gives us a little bit of insight into each of them.

    1)Lisa- Excitable, immature married woman who likes twilight, facebook and birthdays. Basically a normal woman.

    2)Todd- Insecure guy trying to posture himself as a man’s man by posting on a married woman’s facebook wall and calling her husband gay. Todd wants his social network to know that his preference for vagina is indeed strong. So strong that he would NEVER wrap himself in a soft cloth and watch a chick flick for his hypothetical wife’s birthday.

    3)Husband- This is the person we know least about because he didn’t feel the need to post about stupid shit on facebook. He is sitting comfortably on his couch with a handfull of ass giving his wife a good birthday while Todd is being clever on facebook and then tabbing back and forth from internet porn to see if anyone responded to his witty remarks.

    Twilight is indeed shit, but don’t let that confuse you about who’s gay here.

  117. @105

    No, you’re lame.

  118. Aww!! I’m sorry, Anna. It looks like I upset you by insulting your boyfriend, Robert Pattinson, and the undeniably cool Snuggie. Better watch my mouth next time! ;)

  119. i honestly do not understand why everyone hates twilight so much? lol
    and i dont think its gay for a guy to watch it. it may not have been the best film (books are way better, as they always are) but since when do films make you gay? cant you just like the genre/storyline? yeez

    and to whoever said: ‘Twilight is intended as a morality tale for teenagers to teach them abstinence and sexual responsibility. It looks like a harmless vampire movie at first, but when you realize there’s a thinly veiled “message” there, it starts to look rather preachy.’

    ehhh what are you talking about, seriously. they’re going to have sex and have a baby at age 18

  120. YAY! Lisa has come to defend her lameness!!!

  121. It’s ok Lisa. Even Ross was married to a lesbian for quite a time.

  122. @Name1: <3

  123. Todd wins the best off-the-cuff comment award

    the reason we hate twilight is because Edward has a smellier pussy than the girl

  124. @mandybadger…When did liking vampire movies become gay? When Twilight came out, thats when.

  125. @Milton Waddams

    Especially for you:
    http://comixed.com/2009/08/05/comics-comic-strip-yonkoma-twilight/

  126. Erin – YOU ROCK. LOL @ THAT.

  127. Hahahah that was cool

  128. I want Todd on my friends list. That was awesome.

  129. @118

    Unfortunately, your guesses about my interests are wrong. Laaaame.

  130. Anna: DIAF.

  131. “Robert Pattinson’s Rape Stare” LOL!
    Although this comment implies a little knowledge of the story… so we can assume Failbot has indeed sat through 2 hrs of this infamous stare.

    The husband is not lame or gay, he never commented or even felt the need to defend himself, and why should he? He obviously cares more about making his (lame) wife happy than appearing cool or macho.

    The wife, however, is quite sad for posting this.
    Twilight IS a morality tale Lisa, and if you don’t know this you need to read a little more.

    Todd is unfunny and unoriginal, as well as homophobic.

    All of the above is my opinion and no offence is intended.

    I’m a Twilight fangirl btw. And I just know I’m gonna end up on “Lamebook – the twilight saga” someday.
    Edward is simply divine. I wrote this at the end as opposed to the start so all you bitter souls would actually read this post :)

  132. @130 – that’s not very nice.
    @131 – you DO realise that Edward is a fictional character don’t you?

  133. @ flips – I do, but thank you for pointing it out to me :)
    I also realise Mr Darcy, Harry Potter, Heathcliff, Romeo, and Santa Claus don’t really exist, so no need to shatter my teenage fantasies with those either!

  134. [...] TO ADD: Bonus picture HERE. Posted by ludditeandroid Filed in Uncategorized ·Tags: LAMEBOOK, PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE [...]

  135. I’m not going to assume Lisa’s husband is gay for liking Twilight enough to want to sit through it again and again, but I am going to assume that both Lisa and her husband are too braindead to be functional for liking such a mysognistic and simplistic piece of shit. And Snuggies are for people who haven’t discovered the superior quality of zip-front terrycloth robes worn around the house. Though who knows, maybe in nostalgia parties 30 years from now the Snuggie will be the most popular garment option.

  136. so.. im not THAT lisa
    i just happen to have to same name xD

    @MTM im sure its a morality tale in some way, i was just saying what that guy said was stupid because how are they teaching teenagers about abstinence, when they are having sex and get pregnant at a young age when they’ve only known each other for what, 2 years? thats all

  137. @ Lisa – Well, it takes 4 books and A LOT of self-control to get there! And they are 18 at that stage after all so it’s ok.
    There is no question that the thirst for blood is indeed sexual desire. You can choose not to read them that way though, you’re the reader, you can do what you want :)

  138. Snuggies and Twilight are made of epic fail but Todd is made of epic win!

    Also, @MTM you do see that the relationship Bella and Edward have is emotionally abusive right?

  139. @ Pandora – in what way?

  140. now thats some funny ish- her friend is bogus tho!

  141. Watch out for the SNUGGIESAURUS!!

  142. Don’t worry Lisa’s Husband. We’ll tell him that you’ve booked out the rest of his life out for your daily corn-holing.
    Does your wife have a cat o’ nine tails? Cuz goddamn you’re pussy whipped.

  143. @MTM read all about it right here: http://applesparkles.wikia.com/wiki/ZOMFG_HOW_CAN_U_SAI_EDWARD%27S_ABUSIVE%3F%3F!!1!!

  144. So Todd is a bitter LONELY guy who spends his time calling other men gay (because that’s on his mind, hmm) while Lisa’s husband, label him gay or not, is still getting laid.

    Internet trolls can cheer for Todd as much as they want, we all know who won that night.

  145. Todd is a sad and lonely loser, who is clearly insecure about his own sexuality. I have come to this conclusion because I have no sense of humour and think that if more straight men openly bought SNUGGIES I might stand a better chance of getting laid. But I won’t, because I’m fat.

  146. Holy shit I want to marry Todd.

  147. @ anony – If watching shitty movies and buy/use stupid shit that’s sold on TV in order to get laid by one’s own wife is a win… well, I don’t want to be a winner.

    Todd’s the kind of guy to get laid right after his wife(-to-be) gets back from the grocery store and makes him a damn grilled cheese sammich.

    In essence, the husband is the loser and his wife the winner, whereas Todd is the winner and whomever his significant other may be the loser.

  148. @ Tony

    Todd is your hero isn’t he Tony because you’re blatantly like the husband, though in your case, despite huggies and twilight you STILL wouldn’t get laid. hahahaha…. Misogynistic, illiterate prick. It doesn’t matter about winning or losing because you will always be alone to make your own “cheese sammiches”.

  149. With regards to the snuggies, why buy them? Just wear a woolen blanket like a toga.

    As for his linking homosexuality to Twilight, pretty wrong at that point. Why?
    Metrosexuals. Yes, they seem gay, they dress gay, they ACT gay but all the gay people I know go out of their way to distance themselves from metros.

    Twilight takes literature and rapes it in the ear and spits on its used up corpse. I’ve read the books and seriously, it’s a sorry excuse for literature. Compared Bram Stoker’s Dracula and dare I say even Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, Twilight is the equivalent of a story from Penthouse’s erotic stories column.

  150. I love how metros make “macho men” so insecure.

  151. Dear Todd,
    I love you.

    That is all.

    Love, Amanda

  152. Dear Todd-
    you Make me smile
    Let’s have babies
    -kthnx bai!

  153. Todd RULZ! Twilight droolz!

  154. Todd pwns.

    kthnx. Goodnight.

  155. [...] Lamebook » Twilight Saga: Snuggies & Twilight [...]

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