This is something that is commonly mocked in these books. This Edward character is possessive, obsessive and controlling and all the girls mess their panties because of it. It’s like feminism never happened.
And what happens next?
Edward has to BITE A HOLE for the baby to come out.
Then Bella’s werewolf wannabe BF gets fixated on the baby, and decides to remain the age he is till she’s old enough to have a proper relationship with.
Swear to god, you couldn’t make this shit up. Well, Stephenie Meyer’s fevered mormon brain obviously could, but you know what I mean.
Incidentally, anyone here complaining about spoilers, or attempting to defend Twilight as ‘literature’? Automatic. Epic. Fail.
Aw yeah I forgot about the Jacob/baby thing! Just dreadful. My absolute favorite part of this whole travesty of a story is that Meyer wrote about fountains of blood spewing from Bella as she’s giving birth, but chose not to include even one proper sex scene between the two leads. Don’t have sex, kids! You’ll get pregnant with a vicious alien creature that will try to murder you as you force it from your body!
Every time I hear someone compare this series to Harry Potter or Jane Austen or fucking ROMEO AND JULIET a little part of me dies. So yes, anyone who plans to defend Meyer or her writing will be automatically dismissed. You couldn’t possibly convince me that this “author” has even an ounce of talent.
/end rant. Sorry, I work at a bookstore and I have to listen to people raving over this shit all. the. time. *vomit*
What’s even more disturbing – the other day I saw a book on display laughably entitled: “Twilight & Philosophy: Vampires, Vegetarians and the Pursuit of Immortality”. Perhaps you’ve seen it?
Aside from the ridiculous premise that being a vampire is as legitimate as being a vegetarian (or both!), it promises to “…draw(ing) on the wisdom of philosophical heavyweights to answer essential questions such as: What do the struggles of “vegetarian” vampires who control their biological urge for human blood say about free will?”. What indeed.
They couldn’t have done a graver injustice to philosophy if they’d called it Twilight of the Idols, dug up Neitzsche’s corpse and had sex with it. Or not. They could just stare at it every night to make sure it was safe.
Oh yes, I’ve seen that one! I can’t imagine ANYONE in their right mind reading Twilight and seeing anything even remotely philosophical in it, unless they were high as a fucking kite. Whoever wrote that gem of a book probably was.
My other favorite Twilight-inspired book is one called “Defining Twilight.” It’s a vocabulary workbook/study guide for the SAT and other standardized tests that uses only words from Twilight. I mean, Stephenie Meyer clearly possesses a truly exceptional vocabulary with those 4 adjectives she uses over and over and over again. Oh the irony….
There’s always Meyer’s Uncertainty Principle: it is impossible to determine simultaneously both the storyline and character development of the first Twilight novel, or any other Twilight novel, with any great degree of accuracy or certainty.
ie you can read about a particular character, and not figure out how the storyline is advanced by their introduction – or you can follow the storyline, but wonder what the fuck the character you’re reading about has anything to do with it.
We can only hope that no more Twilight movies are made. Unfortunately i think we may be hearing about another Twilight fad in the not to distant future. “Ladies and Gentlemen. Ready your spew buckets for it is time to be chunderstruck”!
I’ve worked in bookstores too – the urge to facepalm, slap the customer or wet myself laughing was often overpowering. Fortunately this was many years before Twilight, or I’d doubtless have been sacked, arrested, or both.
I’m actually quite curious to see what Hollywood will make of that grotesque David-Cronenberg-on-acid birth sequence from the final book.
Shame they’ll NEVER make the two sequels to ‘The Golden Compass’. Ending the 2nd book with the horrifying deaths of half the main characters – not to mention killing God himself in the third – just *not* good box office . . .