she likes reading.
she is not that conceited.
she does not have a boyfriend.
she is a party girlie.
she is always the centre of attention.
it takes a lot to keep up with her crazy life.
she is better than us all seriously.
she thinks that if someone doesn’t like her, for whatever reason, they should commit suicide by incesting bleach.
she will not reply to people that send her a message.
she places a lot of importance in correct spelling.
ahahaha!!! Laurens final paragraph is the BEST….Here biography is full of usefully information (most of which is unreadable) but what I’ve gotten from it is that Lauren is quite a contradiction. She doesn’t like people who can’t spell shit, and yet she can’t spell shitttttt (is that enough t’s?). Also she is not conceited (thats important to know) but she is better than all of us, hotter than Barbie AND all thAttt*…when does she find time to not be conceited?
Lauren, I know you already know this, but you rock.
@tamedshrew: I think its a new language called Fbookian(EF-book-ee-an), my research shows that generally females of our species use this language, but males are learning and using it in an attempt to lure said females in to his life with the hope of procreating and teaching the young Fbookian. It is only the written word that they use, so far but I am still researching and my find that these females actually speak like this also.
@no dramas. I ran to my nearest Barnes and Noble and picked up Fbookian for Dummies (teen section). I finally translated what “laurRr” (seeing how we can’t call her by her government name) wrote. It took a couple hours but I got it! Unfortunately, I’ve lost a few brain cells in the process.
Hi birds What’s up, it’s Lauren, but you skanks don’t have the privilege to call me by my government so it’s Laur to you. Mkay. I like long walks on the beach, reading & walking my dog along with synchronize swimming. Bahaha. Sike. Buy me Tiffany’s on June 4th I’m hotter than Bargie, she has not shit on me. Lmao fuckin kidding. Not that conceited k thanks. <3 cupcakes and fruit snacks…I could live off of. I DON’T have a boyfriend. Let’s see, I’m a party girlie, center of attention always. No matter if im home with fam. I like to party like no other and it takes a lot to keep up with my crazy life. I’m Irish & we do do it best, so stfu if you don’t believe. I’m a girlie girl sometimes, my whipdizzle (I have no clue if that can be translated). Starbucks. Makeup. Clothes. Shoes. Handbags. Huge sunglasses. Boys. Clubs. My crackberry. I’m a sweetheart, if I like you lol. But if I don’t, then I’m a crazy bitch which would mean you most likely know me as a bitch, just because you all suck! Ha. A woman is who she believes she is, and I believe I’m all that, so umm believe it too or kill yourself :X. I have no time for haters, you smuts are seriously like dead to me . Just keep putting my name out there, I appreciate the publicity. <3 Oh and keep stealing my about me’s bitches…even though they’re about me and not you. Haha. It’ll get you far in life. Lmfao not. Don’t message me, that’s gay. Respond to comments. Mmh if you are cute! I’m better than you all seriously. Hop off my life, you hit little birds. <3 Oh, and if you don’t like me (for some odd reason)…kick rocks, drink bleach, and walk it out on glass. K thanks. Bye XO
“ohhh,& if yOuu donn’t likee meee (f0R sommee odd reAsOnnn)”
Yeah. What possible reason anyone could have not to like you, laurRr?
Why have people come to believe it’s cool to type like a Parkinsons patient with a broken backspace key? Do they thinkk padddingg everyyyythinggg outtt with unecessary letters will make their pointless warbling more interesting? Is there that much heavy metal in the drinking water? Did I miss a vote?
On a brighter note, lAurenn and her ilk spends three times longer than actually necessary to communicate via keyboard – which is that little bit less time that the rest of humanity has to deal with her contradictory self-obsessed prattle on a face-to-face basis.
Glad she doesn’t hAveee a bOyfriennnnd. Hope she never breeedsss either.
Its obvious that she is having a problem with the keys on her keyboard sticking…. and the caps lock intermitently coming on by itself… and spell check auto-correcting to the incorrect spelling haphazardly… and…….
@Danish I’m sorry, I meant DUTCH creole. It’s spoken in the Virgin Islands. But, there is some Danish mixed in there.
creole is basically the language of the natives of a conquered country mixed with the language of the country that colonized it. For example, when the French invaded Haiti and settled there, their language was merged with that of its inhabitants.
Jamaican Patois derives from gaelic, american english comes from English, Philippines speak Tagalog which has Portuguese influence. In Africa,…. you get my point.
LMFAO Lauren. Hilarious! That is the longest ‘about me’ I have ever read. As els9874 said, you rock!
How do you commit incest with bleach? It seems unpossible!
@Seattlite: That is dedication to Lamebook. Bravo sir!
I pasted my second semester of college, but you don’t hear me cutting about it!
@Kevin: How could you possibly know that she wouldn’t rape someone? Have you tried to get her to rape someone? Just because she refused you while under the influence of date rape drugs, it does not mean she cannot, or will not, rape or sleep with another human being! You sir are a Necro-felcher!
@ seattlite: dude, you just stole the whole point of my post. i didn’t try to translate her whole ‘about me’ section, i just got the main parts and translated them into english. thanks for whipping a dead donkey. asshole.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen. What is new with you? The person currently speaking is Lauren, but you sexually promiscuous people do not have the privilege to call me by the name that the government does, so you may call me “Laur”, okay?
I like long walks on the beach, reading, and walking my dog. I also enjoy synchronized swimming! Haha, just kidding about that last part!
My birthday is June 4th, so you should buy me something, preferrably jewellery from Tiffany’s.
I’m more attractive than Mattel’s doll, Barbie. She pales in comparison to me. Haha! Just kidding (again)! I’m not that conceited.
I could live on cupcakes and fruit snacks.
I’m currently single.
I like to party and be the center of attention. Even if I’m just home with my family, I party like no other. It takes a lot of work to try to keep up with my crazy life.
I’m Irish. We do basically everything the best, and if you don’t believe it, it would be best if you didn’t bring it up around me.
I can be girlish sometmes.
I also enjoy the following things: Starbucks coffee, makeup, clothes, shoes, handbags, huge sunglasses, boys, clubs, and my blackberry (which I amusingly call ‘crackberry’ because it’s so addictive).
I am a kind person if I like you. If I dislike you, then I am crazy and mean. Most likely, you think I’m crazy and mean because all of you kind ladies and gentlemen are not up to my standards.
A woman is who she believes she is, and I do believe I am the best. If you are of opposite opinion, then please commit suicide. Haha.
I have no time for people who dislike me. They do not exist to me. But please continue to spread malicious rumors about me, you are just making me more famous.
Also, keep stealing this “about me” section, I’m sure it will cause you to excel in life. Haha. Not! (See what I did there? I’m being amusing again!)
Please do not message me. That is homosexual. I would prefer it if you responded to comments (if you’re cute, that is).
Once again, I would like to reiterate that I am better than all of you. Seriously. Please stop pretending to be me.
Lastly, if you do not like me (for some strange reason), commit suicide through ingesting bleach.
I’m reeling over the insinuation that anyone would actually WANT to copy LauRrRrR’s “About Me.”
Is it now fashionable to tell the world in one overlong paragraph that you are an illiterate, hypocritical psycho?
These entities (Manuel, Lauren et al) are super-intelligent members of an extra-terrestrial conspiracy to re-condition the human race into a collection of mindless zombies, in order to facilitate their takeover of the planet with zero resistance. If you don’t believe that, then go and kick rocks, drink bleach and walk it out on glass, k thanks bye.
In case you haven’t realised it yet, lamebook’s comments section isn’t exactly a serious hangout. And I’d advise against acting as if you are the one and only high-grade intellectual with sharp perception and advanced analytical reasoning skills around here. Just a thought.
Don’t @ me AC – save that crap for Twitter where it belongs.
And I wasn’t acting anything of the sort – I was just shocked that not one in 50 comments posted recognised the fact that Lauren was doing a little creative writing.
The fact that her talent – and if you don’t think it’s talent, you try splashing some AOL together and post it here – was instead ridiculed by most of you jokers shocked me. That’s all.
And this is my 3rd comment lifetime here – so the only thing I’ve realised so far is posters here seem to lack the ability to distinguish between irony and morony [invented that word just now - don't y'all wannabe academics jump on me for it not being in Websters yet]. It surely seems that is your MO. But I concede I’m basing these judgments on a very tiny sample size – specifically, this single comment thread.
One more comment,
why even go through all that to prove a point? Why bother with the aggravation of opening your inbox and receiving message after message from random guys Saying “Yo ma wht’s gud?” if you don’t want them messaging you, why not use proper English in your about me section?
what’s the point of that? No sarcasm at all. Just want to understand lauRrr’s irony.
The impossible message has been translated, but let’s decipher the point she is trying to prove that scuter has pointed out. Here goes:
1. People who message her fail to use her real name, which she makes a point of here: “First off, I have a name, use it.” So, i’m assuming she would like that people do use her proper name respectfully.
2. She has proven she knows how to spell properly, though it would look a lot better if she hadn’t shot herself in the foot by spelling especially wrong.
3. Lastly, she is tired of receiving spammed messages over and over again from illiterate men who want to beat the meat to her picture.
I feel like such a kill-joy. Making fun of her rant seems like so much more fun, so i’m going to go with the fact that she’s a schizo and her intelligent personality with a sense of satirical comedy thought it was a good idea to clarify things at the end.
Now I shall go and kick rocks, drink bleach and walk it out on glass, k thanks bye.