Friday, August 6, 2010

Troubling Times

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70 Comments

  1. ChocolateChipCookie

    lol, Becky’s date sounds awkward. Others… meh. I don’t quite get where the jokes are supposed to be hiding.

  2. ChocolateChipCookie

    (FIRSTBENSTEVER yay? Great, now I feel like I have no life.)

  3. This is why you always have to bring extra bags when you’re walking your dog. And a gun. Especially a gun.

  4. i’d do emma while andre watched; i’d do lorna while zuka watched; i wouldn’t do becky -she sounds like a fridge.

    and chocolatechip – why does everything have to be a joke to you..? some people!

  5. ChocolateChipCookie

    I suppose you’re right, alord; I really should get a more serious outlook on life. The story of poor Lorna is incredibly inspiring – she sure did learn a lesson! And the exchange between J and Corey is such a rich symbol of … uh… today’s youth. Taken together, today’s posts present a colorful picture of the real America. Thank you, lamebook, for this wonderful gift. I feel like my day has now finally been lived to its fullest.

  6. alord, you had been doing rails of coke since 10:30 in the morning on June 30th for the better part of the day while polishing off an 18 case before we lost you near a field for approximately 3 hours. Nobody could quite figure out what had happened, but you showed up later seeming quite happy with yourself. I think Lorna’s post is her cover-up story for rape, so perhaps Zuka DID get to watch.

  7. shit. if i was at it for three hours it must’ve been some pretty good beaky! i seem to remember us doing lines off her pooper-scooper…

    this reminds me of a funny story from my early youth. my first girlfriend was a super-rich jewish girl, and her house was set in a few acres of woodland. one time at her house, we started getting a bit amorous and went for a wander in the wood, having decided we were going to take things to whatever base is one more than we’d previously taken it. we sat at a bench, one thing led to another &c &c. anyway, i was about to get my first handjob, when suddenly her two newfoundland dogs bounded up out of nowhere and jumped at my cock. they obviously thought it was a sausage or something. she was in tears as i waddled round with my trousers round my ankles and a rod on trying to fend off two huge slathering dogs.

    killed the mood somewhat.

  8. I once, ONCE forget to bring a bag and I got screamed at by someone in their house. I couldn’t even tell where they were, it was like god was yelling at me. I hate people like that.

  9. Becky, what’s not to understand? Sounds like a pretty awesome date! One should be so lucky.

  10. @Brah thank you for that comment :D made me laugh more than the update

  11. Eenerbl, if you’d let me take you out, it would be a guarantee. ;)

  12. @Chocolatechipcookie (mmmmm cookies)I don’t think Lorna is American. American’s don’t usually say “pure afraid” or “You’re meant to.” We’d say something like “really afraid” or “you’re supposed to.” Know what I mean? ;)

  13. I would never yell at you, Brah.

  14. hahaha, i posted the becky one! look her up as becky head, she’s not real. lol. you’ll understand what i mean when you find her

  15. Care to explain which of the 400+ Becky Heads she is, irki?

  16. I know you wouldn’t, almighty.

    And you’re very welcome, senny007

  17. fuck you irki927

  18. I got a good chuckle out of J and Corey. J really had it coming for being just a letter, hah.

    Also Brah, I got a good laugh out of your story too.

  19. I’d do alordslums while his mom watched

  20. alordslums I bet you did lines off of her pooper (minus the scooper)

  21. alordslums the story about your ex-jap and her newfoundlands was only saved by the beautiful use of the word amorous……hahaha thats nice.

    also how do we know that Becky is not the one down for some action?…. maybe its suitor number one playing prude boy?

    Grahamdunk- you are right. The “You’re meant to” is definitly an english thing… or british.. well….. its one of those. They also say “I’m meant to” whhhhhhyyyyyyy do they talk like that I say?

  22. I’m English and I’ve never heard anyone say ‘pure afraid’ It could be Irish or Welsh idiom though.

  23. I’ve never heard it either, let’s blame the Irish.

  24. I believe people who do not clean-up after their dogs should be yelled at. By God. There is no excuse for leaving dog shit all over the place.

    I hope a whole group of pissed-off people are waiting for Lorna to re-emerge. Priceless.

  25. thecorporalflashback

    “pure afraid” is a scouse thing. Trust me, my mother’s one of them.

  26. Well done, you guys have managed to make a really unfunny status update even less funny.

  27. It doesn’t matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or if I’m a Scouse or whether I’m a woman or a man.
    -John Lennon

  28. It’s Irish. As is the ‘roarin’ bit.

  29. Why are there lines through some peoples writing?

  30. Like mine ….

  31. Lorna is definitely Irish. I know cos I can smell my own pure class kind.

  32. Also because hiding in a field is our solution to most things.

  33. @ Ziggle, I thought that too, Irish are the only ones I know that say pure in front of nearly every word! :)

  34. …and she said “Leggin’ it”!! :D

  35. I never knew yanks didn’t say “meant to”. Yet another valuable piece of information gleaned from Lamebook.

  36. hiding in a field for three hours…?
    45 min,maybe,but three hours,wth.

    youre meant to clean up after your dog,def not american..

  37. I take it you are American, ohbabybaby. Here, let me help you out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exaggeration

  38. alordslums ur stupid long story wasnt funny, you are so boring

  39. walter, don’t be a douche.

  40. So Walter’s a troll now?

  41. ok really why is the writing crossed out ?

  42. because walter never had a life and learned html code rubbish.

  43. EmKitt was attempting to pull this off on the other post Walter fucked with. She was only successful in doing it to own comments. I’m glad she didn’t do it, as it’s better Walter looks like the idiot.

    Walter, I’ve had NO sleep. I have been up all night, and I don’t think I’ll be sleeping today. My bloodshot eyes can’t read half the comments.

    I can just make out anongayigay’s very valuable contribution, and that’s about it.

  44. Oh so this is Walters fault, this site has gone down hill. First the name stealing and now this. Fricken annoying

  45. John_Oates_stache
  46. John_Oates_stache
  47. John_Oates_stache

    Mom! The internet’s broken!

  48. John_Oates_stache
  49. Walter may be a troll.. but let’s be honest, he’s pretty damn smart to be able to bloody cross out the writing in the damn advertisements as well! Gah, crossed out writing is annoying..

  50. Sidneybunny. We never say “I’m meant to” we might say “I meant to” otherwise we’d say “I’m supposed to” and we talk like that because WE INVENTED THE FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!!

  51. The smart person is the one who figures out how to stop the tags. I can’t figure it out. I suspect it’s impossible.

    The point is lamebook selectively snips some HTML code and allows other code, including code from idiots that fucks things up for everybody. It’s probably wordpress’ fault and not lamebook’s, but somebody needs to stand up and take responsibility. This isn’t ‘Nam. There are rules here.

  52. lol walter wtf are u talkin about u massive poohead

  53. I am beginning to think I was correct on who to blame…

  54. @Pedanticoldgit
    calm down

  55. As much as I think all food should be in kebab form, words shouldn’t.

    Or the line should at least cross out those ugly American Apparel advertisements. That would be very beneficial.

  56. this comment has been redacted.

  57. See? This is why my wife has a black eye. It wasn’t me, it was just a glitch.

  58. tfhgff

  59. Did that fix it?

  60. Nope.

  61. Where do the Lamebook people go on the weekend anyway? Laughing at shop signs that have been altered to say the word ‘cock’ while the markup does whatever the hell it wants…

  62. WordPress tells you how to do all kinds of stuff for the post. Just embed a few codes and you have lines through everybody’s post.

    Great Job Fuckwads!

  63. Lets see if this works.

  64. Nope!

  65. First they were bold, then they were italicized, now they are crossed out. It’s like Armageddon! Where are the four horsemen? What gives?

  66. I know how to stop it, I just cant get rid of the tags.

  67. what the f is goin on

  68. teh haxzo0rs!1!1!1!!111

  69. This is why we can’t have nice things :(

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