Monday, July 12, 2010

Topical Topics

previous post: Wins for the Weekend



  1. Narnia fields giants and dragons. Totally unfair advantage.

  2. 1st!! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!

  3. Oh crap. Damn you NormanEinstein.

  4. I will let have my first accolades and all the fame and glory that goes with it.

  5. What’s finger banging?

  6. Finally, a post from Lamebook. I was bored all weekend.

  7. *you. D’oh.

  8. Finger banging is the what made sitting through that movie tolerable.

  9. finger banging is how i got my moustache.

  10. Pseudonym, your failure brought joy to a grumpy old man.

  11. Only if you are the couple getting off, because nothing can make that movie tolerable!

    + who do think is in the Nets for Narnia?

    I bet the forwards are all Centaurs… IMagine the footplay those things could have o.o

  12. Finger banging… you know, it comes before nailing.

  13. Cheers. But what does finger banging mean? And Walter, glad to be of service.

  14. Paranoid Android

    @ alord – ‘Dirty Sanchez’?

  15. in all honesty, i think finger banging is when you bang your finger on something. e.g. you just walk past the counter-top and catch your finger on it, and your mum says ‘why are you wailing like a banshee?’ -’mom, i just did some serious finger-banging, id. est. i just banged my f-ing finger!!! jhkjgjlkhfjg!’

    i think that’s what it is anyway. glad to be of service.

  16. Thanks for clearning that up for me there alord. I do, however, wonder about the merits of finger banging and what on earth the other participants at the auditorium got out of it. Kids these days.. Don’t know they’re born, half of them… What does that mean too? I’m in a perpetual state of confusion half the time, the other half, I couldn’t tell you.

  17. I’m gonna fingerbang bang you into my life
    Girl, you like to fingerbang and it’s alright
    Cuz I’m the king of fingerbang, let’s not fight
    I’ll just fingerbang bang you every night!

  18. Finger banging is always kind of awkward when your mum’s around. It’s like “no mum, I don’t need a fucking bandaid. don’t worry about my bloody finger.”

  19. lol walter you know the score!

    also, deanna sounds like a pretty clumsy girl…

  20. Yeah sounds like she’s always banging people’s fingers… don’t spend too much time around that girl – your fingers will eventualy just fall off.

  21. Haha….damn you all for not watching South Park!

  22. @deanna

    And girl you know that your the only one for me
    Girl, you’re the girl of my fantasies
    Aw Girl


  23. Sometimes when I’m making dinner and I cut onions or garlic I get the smell on my fingers and it stays there even the next day. And I can’t help but to keep smelling them. I don’t know why but for some reason finger banging made me think of that.

  24. @eusadnama

    A man or woman after my own heart!

  25. lol @deanna: Woman here!

    South Park is too awesome. Fingerbang was one my favorite episodes forever.

  26. The real question here is: how did a biker couple end up at a Twilight movie? I’m assuming they were prospects and had to do this as initiation.

    “Hey, Tiny, you need to go to that Eclipse movie tonight.”
    “Why, boss? That is bullshit teeny bopper stuff.”
    “Don’t question me, prospect. Make it happen.”
    “Fine. Can I at least bring Easy Sally?”
    “Easy Sally is busy tonight polishing helmets. Take Mama Peach.”

  27. Bucky… wth… lol
    Mama Peach … hahahaha

  28. Maybe by bikers, he meant a couple of 15 year olds with Schwinns.

  29. Every night, Yoink, me and his mother use to sit together for supper and we shared laught.
    We used to discuss woods for hours and hours till Yoink’s 6th mother called us in for evening tea.
    It was all going fine till this British girl of 22 years came and ruined everything.
    Now I dont have a son who will see my casket being lowered down into my grave and the one who will bring trolls home when I am gone…
    I am a heart broken man and I don’t have anything to say, except to the British girl: Die! Bitch die!

  30. At first I thought Yoinks_Father was AnonisGay… but after reading his post, which lacked anything resembling humor, I no longer believe that they are the same person.

  31. Why not just adopt a daughter?

    She seems to have attracted enough trolls to this website :P

  32. I kind of feel sorry for that 22 year old British girl.

    To Yoink’s creator, a apologise for saying there was a good probability that you’re ugly. I really had no basis for that. And I also apologise for saying that you are definitely a psychopath. I’ve reduced that to about a 30% chance.

    I think it was all just a bit of fun. Just a bit more fun than normal people like me. I mean I go on about being an old man when I’m actually 14. And I sometimes say my penis has fallen off or that I need viagra, when my penis is actually 9 inches of erection nearly all the fuckin’ time, the god damned thing. And then I’ve even talked about shaving my nutsack when the truth is I steal my dad’s Rogaine and put it all over my balls to try to get some hair to grow.

    Anyway, the point is, alord, if you get a chance I say hit that. If I had the chance I would. She was pretty entertaining even though I never actually read any of the boring shit she wrote anyway.

  33. Hate to break up this lovely, innocent 1950s explanation of finger banging, but I feel a sense of duty to truth.

    The term finger banging refers to the insertion of..ahem..a finger into a lady’s soft and squidgy bit, to expediate the delivery of sensual pleasure in said female.
    This is a classic cinema move largely carried out by sexually inexperienced 14 and 15-year-olds.

    If on a film date, this would be an acceptable level to reach for the young man’s friends – and may even be congratulated by those who seek intimate details of such excursions.

    Some hardcore finger bangers move on to use more than one digit.

    Eventually, as things progress, they have sex and fuck the whole cinema thing off.

  34. I don’t get the first one. Maybe it’s because I don’t know a Stefan urquelle, what did I miss?

  35. famaf you fucking dirty asshole pervert this website is for kids keep that dirty filth on your triple x web chats you pig

  36. These are meh. The Narnia bit made me chuckle a little.

  37. hahaha @ walter
    sos dude had to be done.

    I’m with you on the chopping onions or garlic thing tho..
    I like to smell my fingers after having a smoke too.
    Sometimes I worry people watch me and think I’m strange tho, so I’m trying to reign it in.

  38. Jim, the first one is referring to an american sitcom called family matters. Steve Urkel is a nerdy genius who figures out how to “make himself cool” and become a new version of himself, named Stefan Urquelle, or something like that. my memory’s a bit fuzzy on the details – I watched it as a kid.

  39. Just do what I do and let them have a sniff. ;)

  40. SouthBeachTakeover

    I’m going to ignore all the finger banging comments… but I would go to hell and back for Narnia!

  41. @Ivy

    Didn’t he make some machine that turned him into Stefan? Totally jumped the shark at that point.

  42. @Ivy

    It started out with a DNA transforming serum called “Cool Juice”. It suppressed his nerd genes and left his cool ones there to flourish.

    Laura starts out quite taken by this new Stefan creation, until it’s realized that the “cool genes” are more narcissistic than cool.

    Steve eventually improves the serum and creates a transformation chamber as well, to make things more flashy in the process.

    Much later, Steve created a cloning machine, which he didn’t think was working properly, but somehow ended up cloning himself. The ethical dilemma was solved by choosing to turn one of the Steves into Stefan, permanently.

    At least I think so… I watched it as a kid as well.

  43. @mcowles

    wow you have a much better memory than me, lol! I remembered the juice, and the chamber, and knew at some point he cloned himself. then there was the disney episode where stefan proposed to laura and steve loved myrtle or whatever her name was, but I don’t remember how it all ended.

  44. I’m sure you did mcowles.

    Aside from that, a good start to the hangover I say.

  45. @Ivy

    Her name was Myra. *spoiler alert* Laura chose Steve over Stefan, so Stefan went back to France (where he was a male model), never to be seen again.

    Oh, the “other juice” was called Boss Sauce.

    It still makes me smile to remember how slowly he poured it and whenever someone tried to talk during it he would say “shhhhh, not while I’m pouring”


    I’m intrigued by your statement

  46. wait so who was myrtle? was she steve’s cousin, also played by jaleel? or was there even a myrtle? I could look it up but I’m too lazy.

  47. @Ivy

    You’re right… Steve in a wig (Jaleel in a wig).

    Her dad was “Big Daddy”… and she almost married Eddie. Oh, the Hilarity.

    About once a week I say “As my grandma used to say when she overcooked her noogies. Tough noogies.”

  48. Oh the days in indiscreet fingerbanging…how I miss my teens. pffft.

    + I am so glad Soccer is over with, now I don’t have to read about that crap all over my FB wall every day…now it’s on LB, ugh.

    Ivy- yes it was Myrtle, the southern bell in love with Eddie.

  49. Love Ahmed’s comment – when I’m bored, I like to engage in lengthy e-mail exchanges with Nigerian scammers. You can really keep them going for a while by asking ridiculous questions and giving fake information as long as they still have some hope that you may actually pay them some money eventually. I do all this from a gmail account under the name Harry Potter, of course.

  50. testing, testing, 1-2-3.

  51. re deanna not knowing whether eusadnama was a boy or girl – you needn’t have asked. simply hold the magical mirror-stone of gulganeth next to eusadnama’s name, and what do you see…?

    told you that stone’s mythical and magical – and it could be our only way out of lexicor!

    also, as a veteran of finger-banging (my bathroom cabinet is FILLED with bandages and safety pins), i completely refute famaf’s definition of finger-banging!

  52. @50.

    yep, you’re coming through loud and clear…

    …but we could do with more cowbell

  53. @alord: Thank you! Now, we must escape!

  54. @alord – so I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed after a night shift! Next time, I’ll be sure to know the gender of the person I’m addressing, by rearranging letters of his/her screen name!

  55. lololol

  56. Oh my, that theater story is disgusting! Peach tea, for the love of gawd – gross!

  57. Oh my, that theater story is disgusting! Peach tea, for the love of gawd; that’s just gross.

  58. CommentsAtLarge

    You know, every time I see the trailers for Eclipse, I can’t help but thinking “man, all that needs is some fingerbanging bikers and it would be the cool juice.” Actually no, the thought of a biker couple getting it on jr-high style at a movie about shiny vampires makes me concerned about the future of Western civilization.

    Also, you guys’ knowledge of Family Matters is both impressive and concerning all at the same time.

  59. krasivaya_devushka

    If it wasn’t for the comments, I wouldn’t get the first one either. I never watched that show. Ever.

  60. Btw, mcowles, do you happen to own the box set dvd’s or just watch the episodes online?

  61. Maybe mcowles is one of those people who can remember every single thing ever in their life. I have to say, I’m impressed! Now I’m in the mood for trivia on all the shows I watched back then.

  62. That far back in the day? Now I’m just reminded of that conversation quite a while back when Darkwing Duck was brought up, lol.

  63. i prefer deadeye duck.

  64. @nuff/Ivy

    I haven’t seen an episode in many, many years…

    My mind remembers plots very well, but I’m not good with actor names or even character names…

    You’d be surprised how few trivia questions involve strictly plots.

    Darkwing Duck… awww.

    I remember that conversation, very well.

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