I know people like Shelley and Nick who flirt with each other, make personal plans, and proposition each other over status messages when they’re in the same house, or even in the same room. I just want to tell them to JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, you know, in REAL LIFE and leave us out of it. Christ on a cracker, it drives me crazy. But I remain silent. I keep quiet and plan my revenge. Oh, it will be sweet. Sweet, terrible revenge.
Holy, Bloody Hell!! Did anyone else go to the Shepee website? That is the funniest damn thing I have ever seen. I really think that one status update made this worth all the other lame ass crap they put in this group.
1. I’ve heard of the she-pee, but it looks quite awkward to use. I’d rather piss on a puppy. They self-clean afterwards, and you can play frisbee with them too!
2. Kara put a cup to someone’s vag so they could pee? Her friend urinates from her good-good? Either there’s been some serious internal tearing going on there, or Kara is stupid… or perhaps she was being polite and really meant “I put a cup up to ur vag so u could menstruate, losing blood-rich tissue over the course of several days”. That’s a more amusing mental image, and would show real friendship dedication.
3. His actual name is Brodrick. I can’t get past that. It’s like a cross between Blackadder’s “Baldrick” and Monty Python’s “Welease Wodewick!”
4. I want to know what “Britny” did. And I hate people who use their kids as the automatic moral high ground for everything.
5. I sympathise with those commenters who balk at the nauseating sweetness of naive young lust… but just console yourselves that if their courtship is so irritatingly public, so will their inevitably messy and painful breakup be. We can wait.
6. Grace and Michael. I hate you. What the freaking fuck is all this gem/treasure stuff about? Are you trying to be pirates? If so, you fail, as you should have opted for doubloons/bounty. I bet Michael started calling Grace “my treasure” first. And Grace, not wanting to be left out, went straight to her online thesaurus, to find a word that was just as good as that but basically the same, and came up with “gem”. That’s my actual real-life name, you stupid bint, it doesn’t suit boys and probably makes Michael feel uncomfortable! Do you realise that whenever someone tries to get my attention for the next week or so, I will immediately think of pathetic, fawning, internet-love? Are you proud of yourselves? WELL?
Ahem. Sorry. I get the impression that Michael and Grace don’t really know what else to say to each other, except repeating their odd pet-names, and once the initial passion has worn off, they’ll either drift apart, or go an a crazy killing spree. Woo!
I think Shelly and Nick are PERHAPS living in student halls. When I was at halls and had a girlfriend, we wouldn’t always know exactly when we were in, and to save walking all the way over we’d text or miss call or something of the sort to summon one another.
Having said that, they’re fucking wastes of space and should be shot in the genitals ASAP for having this conversation in public. Same goes for Grace and Michael. Can’t stand those couples…
I DIDN’T READ YOUR COMMENTS, ESPECIALLY WHAT’S-HIS-FUCK’S BULLETIN POINTS RAMBLING EXTRAVAGANZA UP THERE. JUST ENOUGH WITH FRODO AND HIS POOL, OKAY? CAN WE DROWN FRODO IN HIS POOL, EH? CUZ I’D REALLY LIKE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. NOW.
@spinach dip – I’m not a son. Furthermore, I don’t usually hear things on the internet, I read them. I also suggest you produce the evidence when you accuse someone of plagiarism. My comment was not plagiarized but then someone who’s most witty comeback is “you STUPID FUCKING DOUCHEBAG” probably could not fathom being able to come up with anything more eloquent than that.
NOTE TO MY HUSBAND: I would not appreciate receiving a she-pee for my birthday. Just thought I better let you know.
Kara, you should really meet Bobby Brown who alleges he pulled a turd from Whitney’s arse in the name of love. you two seem to not have any boundaries where love is concerned.
Brodrick, you have been drinking too much KoolAid with red dye number whatever in it. Every time I let my kids drink a particular flavor of Koolaid, their poop turns NEON green. They are five and nine and find neon poop very funny and conversation worthy. Which leads me to a question – Broderick, how old are you?
I was on the inside looking out for you
You were on the outside looking in
We were a witchy coven of white women
We knew a lot about a regional sin
We were protected by the police crime wave
Gangster computer with a bloodied touch
There were so many of us
Or not enough
Or maybe much, too much
Too much, too much!
@21: I assume you’re either the girl from my Facebook, or somebody else who absolutely loves to bang on about how awesome it was to spend all night cuddling with their boy/girlfriend in your status, therefore fuck you.