Monday, February 22, 2010

Too Much Monday

previous post: Weekend Wankers

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88 Comments

  1. Poor Garrett. Getting it up must be difficult the first time you score…

  2. First 4: TMI
    Garrett: You’re doing it wrong

  3. lostintranslation

    Good god, when are women going to learn that nobody wants to hear about our periods, farts or shits?!

    Also, Garrett, you clearly weren’t doing it right. And Leo, what the hell? Seriously, why would you want to publicize something like that??

  4. Garrett should be castrated.

  5. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    ladies you can email garrett at

    sadsack@gmail.com

  6. Umm…why would we go near Garrett? He doesn’t know what he’s doing! lol

  7. Tegan made me a little sick.

  8. grim. they all made me a little sick. felt sorry for the last one

  9. Let’s hope that Alicia’s “big ass shit” is actually a “big ass miscarriage”, that ends up leaving her womb barren to produce more uncouth creatures that her lineage is responsible for.

    Meh, I’m kidding… I don’t really want Alicia’s baby to die.

  10. I’M TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IT EMPHASIZES MY PERSONALITY

  11. Is it just me or do you guys also have the add for Guide from 2 girls teach sex on the left of your screens ?

    greetings , Gareth

  12. Yeap, I got the guide also.

    Garrett is not doing something right. He needs the guide Father Sha.

  13. ment to say , right of your screen … monday blues is getting to me

  14. krasivaya_devushka

    @Father Sha – Yah, it’s on the right of the screen.

    And those people are sick for posting that stuff on their Facebook page. So gross.

  15. @Father Sha – It sort of makes me miss that Nice Jewish Boys Calendar…

  16. Haha dont know about that ringing, a sandwich with those two could turn my monday frown into a smile

  17. Pretty sure that I’m not the only one who had a similar problem to Garret does anyone else think some of these ppl are trying to overcompensate?

  18. Father Sha! I suspect you are not a real man of the cloth…

    …so which one first?! The blonde with the cute bum or the shouty brunette?

  19. Hmmm, I’m not sure if I’m saddened or glad that I’ve set up my system to block all ads on this site.

  20. Oh Garrett….

    When will people learn that women, unlike men, don’t WANT your V-card?

  21. Garrett has unknowingly discovered his tru sexuality, women just don’t excite him…his next lamebook wall of fame will be proclaiming how good it was camping at brokeback mountain

  22. I actually agree with Garrett. Sex is fine… and when you’re in the mood, it’s the only thing you want. However, it’s not so mind shattering that it’s worth worrying over.

    Now… the crying and bleeding and rocking that comes afterwards is much better. Nothing makes you feel alive like that cold shower water raining down on your fetal positioned body.

  23. Hobbes , the shouty brunette scares me and i am wondering if the blonde knwows she is about to get spanked heavily

  24. haha… garrett prob pre matured before he even got in it and so couldnt get’r'done… at least get it in and awkwardly hump for a few seconds before nut’n dude

  25. @JBC

    So, women complain about the double standard that “men that have sex a lot aren’t called sluts”… but, in actuality, you WANT your guy to be “well versed in the language of snatch”?

  26. Women are the queens of double standards mcowles… dont open that box man

  27. open the box mcowles, I want to watch what unfolds!

  28. ‘No real climax at all actually’

    No wonder he was bored. That poor girl that nearly took his virginity probably didn’t realize she was going to be having sex with Will from The Inbetweeners.
    “Just… try moving your hips.”
    “Right… right… how owuld that work exactly?”

  29. Ok, so here’s how I see it.

    Men think women are sluts, if they sleep around.

    Men WANT women to be inexperienced. We’ll teach you… we’ll help you learn. And even if you suck, we don’t care, you have a hole.

    Women WANT men to be experienced. They don’t want to have to wash cream stained underwear and console men with things like “it happens to every guy” and “don’t worry, I’ll get off NEXT time”

    So my thought is… women that sleep around are sluts and men that sleep around are just gaining experience for the women that WANT them to have it.

    how’s that eenerbl? haha

  30. @mcowles – you’ve convinced me.

  31. I dont want an inexperienced chic… been there, done that… I dont want a slut either… Want a gal that knows what she is doing, yet gained the majority of it with guys she seeing at the time… We all have flings or nights we wish we didnt remember, but if thats how you are getting the majority of your sex… Then you are a slut… If that offends you, quite being such a slut

  32. I’m not a slut… I only have sex with married women.

  33. That was good mcowles.

    Slim, what if you don’t remember it due to tequila? Does that count as a slut move?

  34. *quit :/

  35. 1. made me gag, seriously.
    2,3 and 4. made me say “eewuuuhhh!”
    5. Garrett is either doing it wrong or made the mistake of putting the good good on a pedestal.

  36. That depends eenerbl… Is there a pattern of ‘not remembering’?… Cuz most of us have some slutty moments… Some even went through slutty phases… But if you still doing that then you are a slut

  37. bahaha.. mcowles.. I’m married but only have sex with single men.. we should meet, I mean meat..;)

  38. Nope, Tequila and I no longer get along, I’ll put it in the slutty moments category.

  39. Wow… You had a falling out with tequila also huh… If I drink its only whiskey or scotch these days… Mostly just smoke weed though

  40. I’ll stick to wine and I’m still gonna get that tat on my ass with ya.

  41. Yup I felt like Garrett with my first boyfriend too, then with the next it was kind of like “Ooh so that’s what it’s all about”.

  42. @danica

    Meat me behind the dumpster at 3pm. Wait, let me meat you there instead.

  43. Jaci, that’s happened to me on occasion.
    The upside was that at least my flossing was done for the day.

  44. ha ha thatjennchick, me too!

  45. Erm no Tegan, it aint weird.
    *stabbing her with a foot long knife for making me puke, just after dinner*

  46. ahhh, you guys. What a day brightener!

  47. haha BritishHobo, let’s hope he didn’t use hair removal cream on his pubes too…

  48. Hey dawnstar… What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue?
    .
    Juice.

  49. @mcowles

    you got jokes! yessssss.

  50. BTW, it’s not weird if menstruation smells good, it’s only weird if it tastes good.

  51. lol mcowles! So wrong!

  52. Poor Garrett, somebody please get him a blow up doll to practice on. Will probably need to be a male doll though, I’m thinking it’s heading that way for him…

  53. @eenerbl

    Menstruation is a natural thing. It’s like trees blowing in the wind or a baby calf learning to walk for the first time. It’s like a flake of skin clinging to your shirt as you take it off or a piece of toast landing butter side down. It’s like a baby’s tears or a mother’s breastmilk.

    How are these all alike? They’re all natural and beautiful….. and I’ve eaten every one of them at least once.

  54. @mcowles – You think that’s weird…I know a guy who’s in to urine. How’s that for finger lickin’ good?

  55. Team mcowles FTW!

  56. (I mean, I gotta give props to anyone who’s ever eaten a f*ckin TREE)

  57. @Who’s That Girl?

    I know a woman that has been bottling her urine for 10 years. Do I smell a match made in heaven? Or… hmmm, no, I smell ammonia… she also has arthritis, so she can’t close the jars all THAT well.

    @dawnstar

    awww, you’re making me blush. I’m actually a mixture of Jacob and Edward… I rarely go out in the sunlight and I’m incredibly hairy all over. I just thought I was a geeky guy with bad genes. Maybe I’m actually a werepire!

  58. oh, btw, that tree was f*ckin DELICIOUS!

  59. @slimjayz – bring weed with you to the mobile classroom please. ;)

  60. @mcowles – Wonder what 10 years’ worth of bottled urine goes for on the black market. Or would that be more of an auction item? Seriously, why the hell would she…?

  61. @mcowles

    ha! werepire. classic! Team Jedward all the way.

  62. @dawnstar

    I was thinking more Team Jacward… just because it sounds like the direction in which one masturbates.

    “Don’t aim that thing at me, point it Jacward! No, NOOOO, MY MOM’S WEDDING DRESS!!! Wait, why was that laying out on the bed anyway?”

  63. @mcowles

    I think you may need to add that to urban dictionary. Now I’m wishin I was a dude just so I could possibly work it into dialogue at some point in my life. It would give me something to strive for, if you will.

  64. @dawnstar

    Women can still “jack it”, they just don’t need to worry as much about aiming. Well, some still do.

    However, you just admitted that you’re not in that subcategory of the human female. :)

  65. @mcowles

    Truly, your investigative skills are unparallelled. (And, just for kicks, another subcategory of the human female I am not a part of: those who prefer fruit. ha!)

  66. @dawnstar

    My investigative side has noticed that you used the word “prefer”. Therefore, you leave open the door (and your legs) to the possibility that you ENJOY fruit, but that you just don’t prefer it over “the meat”.

    My Freudian side noticed that you used the term “just for kicks” and wonders if you have a masochistic side to yourself as well.

    My Richard Simmons side wishes you were male and wore more patriotic tank tops.

    My Chewbacca side wishes hnnnhrrhhh awwgggghhh wrrhwrwwhw!

    Wow, I’m such a tool….

  67. @mcowles – #64 – Yes, the first time is generally a surprise and can make quite a mess…if you’re into that sort of thing ;)

  68. @mcowles

    well played, good sir!
    Now tell me more about this Chewbacca side…..

    crap. I just had to stop myself from making a horrible reference to the Star Wars Holiday Special. (a pure WIN, btw)

    ….I promise I’m really cool, guys. …Guys?

  69. @Anna

    I am.

    @dawnstar

    You’re almost as cool as me. Therefore I’m very sorry.

  70. @mcowles
    Your wit is unparalleled. Just wanted to let you know it made my day. :)

  71. @mcowles

    Judging by your very humorous previous postings, I will take that as a compliment. So f*ck yeah!

  72. @mcowles – The only downside is if it’s during 69 you can get sprayed in the eyes. Er, perhaps you’re into THAT sort of thing as well.

  73. @Anna

    You say downside, Garrett and myself say that we just found something to keep our interest until the end. It’s like a new sport, not nearly as boring as regular 69.

    @dawnstar and happysam

    I hope no one realizes that I created you both just to feed my ego, mwahahahaha *cough* hahahaha.

  74. @m – I don’t know that even a good squirt would keep Garrett interested. Well, perhaps if it was a squirt of man-juice…

  75. @mcowles

    the main reason I started posting here was your awesome comments, man. so yeah, in a sense that’s kinda true, lol.

  76. @dawnstar
    Same. I just wanted to let you know your comments are better than the post itself. I can only aspire to the level of [in?]fame you have achieved.

  77. I won’t even attempt to hide how pathetic that sounded. I’m somewhat brain-dead due to lack of sleep. My apologies. Continue.

  78. Not lame at all. Personally, I think you’re both awesome, screw the rest of these people!

    Ok, I have posted more today than I have in the last month combined. I hope I didn’t set any flags off and end up getting fired.

    Be well Lamebook!

    Hehe, Garrett likes the male syrup on his mancakes.

  79. “Ah, Dusty…. Infamous is when you’re MORE than famous. See, this guy El Guapo is not just famous, he’s IN-famous!”

  80. squee! they like me, they really like me!

    Agreed, mc. Tis the end of the day.
    Y’all have a good one!

  81. @dawnstar
    Three Amigos! :)
    “Not so fast, El Guapo! Or I’ll pump you so full of lead you’ll be using your dick for a pencil!”
    “What do you mean?”
    “I don’t know.”

  82. “It said shoot UP. WE both shot UP. …It’s like living with a six-year-old!”

  83. “Oh great. Real bullets!”

  84. @ anna

    I will bring my weed… damn you gals all wanting me for my large sack…

  85. Poor Leo needs to go see a doctor. Blood in the jizz can be an indicator of testicular cancer.

  86. slimjayz, you bring yours and I’ll bring mine. I’m sure we can come up with something firm and fat. And roll a doober ;)

  87. Oh great. Now I’m really viewing lamebook posts just to laugh reading the comments..

  88. Oh wow…all I have to say is…

    poor guy.
    ewww
    ewww
    ewww
    WTF?!?!

    methinks Garrett might have something he hasn’t been sharing with the class…

    @mcowles && Dawn Star—->

    And P.S. you peeps are entirely to funny && awesome for your own good…

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