Thursday, April 5, 2012

Tom Forgets to Log Out

previous post: He Knows

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67 Comments

  1. seriously? why are transexuals more controversial than, say, jocks or really boring christian-types?

  2. I have to agree with SLG on this one. The frape wasn’t funny. It was just a lot of effort to try and make someone miserable. Unless you are narrow minded and homophobic there is nothing funny about sexual orientation.

  3. ^but homophobes are a fucking comedy goldmine.

  4. homophobe is such a misnomer. is anyone really scared of queers?

  5. oh that’s fine, I was just worried one might sneeze and infect everyone with aids. That’s why I. Don’t allow them on them on the ship. Like rats, fags carry disease. I don’t want my sailors dying of rainbow sickness..

  6. you must be running the only ship on this planet without queers, capn. frankly i don’t know how such a thing would work. sure you know what’s really going on on your ship?
    you raise an interesting, and in the case of “really boring christian types”, a partly valid point, msanne. jocks are fine and i’m offended and outraged by your discrimination against them. we need someone to look good, after all. by way of explanation, if i’m enforcing a no fat chicks rule, well, i first conduct the BMI check, right? simple. but then when it comes to the sexual organ inspection (i mentioned that, right?), things get more complicated, you see. i really need to make sure that any trannies at this party that are fat also have cocks…for reasons that should be eminently obvious

  7. oh yes. the reason has become abundantly clear. you crave the cock, and care not whose.
    Also, you’re wrong about the jocks. they are not fine and rarely look good. they look puffed-up and thick-necked. useless. they have weak ankles and dicky knees and lets think for a minute about the funniest side-effect of ‘roids to a penis? you like penis, remember.

  8. I’m usually pretty on top of things, which aside from me first mate is why I only hire poon. After that, what goes on is their business, he keeps them bitches in line. Don’t ask don’t tell, and all that jazz. If he ever gets caught slobbing some porchmonkeys knob in port he’ll walk the fucking plank….and then the sluts on board are liable to get mouthy.

  9. Oh, and the trannies…Are you gonna go on down for a looksie, or you gonna feel ’em up?

  10. fuck you msanne, my “new life” party was also going to be my “surprise coming out of the closet” party but now you’ve ruined the surprise for EVERYONE. what a bitch. nothing new there hey. that said, if perception was measured on the basis of ship-size (which I firmly believe it should be), you would be a mothership that would dwarf an aircraft carrier! think about it, that’s huge!
    i believe we’ve had a miscommunication about jocks though, the type you refer to above is what i refer to as “musclebound meatheads”. the only place these top-heavy, smug-looking motherfuckers have in my life is to suffer humiliation and pain as they try to match me when i do hill-runs or stair-runs, or other heavy cardio…because they forgot that legs are a pretty important part of the body. fucktards. and yes…those tiny penises are off-putting too (not to mention nutsacks…if we’re talking tackle, I think it’s only fair to be include them). i prefer my men sweaty and with a large enough belly to wobble deliciously as they drive their cheesy members home.
    don’t you?

  11. If I were to bone a tranny. I often wonder do I finish them off with my hand, or do they rape me after ?

  12. capn, i think the answer to that should be obvious. a full visual inspection aided by uv and strobe lights will occur, and a fondle test will be conducted to determine the reactivity of the genitalia as well.
    don’t want any dead cocks at this party. useless to me.

  13. TTF – whatever works, whatever works mate…part of the fun is using your imagination

  14. so much penis in this thread. so much.

  15. i a m t y p i n g t h i s w i t h m y p e n i s .

  16. well apparently it isnt big enough for the spacebar…

  17. at first glance, fatman420, that was mildly funny in the classic ‘hurr hurr you got a small penix’ meme.
    but it actually makes no sense at all – does it?
    a) the spacebar is closer than the other keys, meaning that
    b) even if he didn’t actually hit the spacebar after every single letter – which he did, btw, the fictional size of the fictional penis is still totally irrelevant.
    and now i hate everyone again, so I’m going to drink beer until i like them again.

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