Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Toadally Unnecessary


previous post: Love is Constant



  1. This is taking the whole baby pics thing which everyone already hates to the extreme!!!

    Stupid bitch! Who wants to see photos of her baby’s shit!!!

  2. The face on the seat is as disturbing as the turd.

  3. Is she a rabbit?

  4. Shouldn’t this be on that site or something?

  5. Sympathy4MrVengeance

    is that normal color? or have i been shitting the wrong color?

  6. This is the best argument against technology.

  7. I can understand people being proud of their kids, but the rest of the world doesn’t want to see that shit!

  8. Suzette is apparently into scat.

  9. Her kid’s name is LEXINGTON? Her FEMALE kid?

  10. Probably Alexis, sharkbot…

  11. Oh and totally, Steve…looks like the frog is trying to steal a glance at the shit in his head. Pretty sick.

  12. @ Amanda
    The kid’s name is Lexington. Says so on the album.

  13. I can only imagine how completely messed up this kid is going to be when they’re older. Between the name and the pictures – kid has no chance.

  14. I’m just laughing at how someone liked the pic.

  15. haha she was named after an aircraft carrier!

  16. Whomever is friends with this “person”, should report them for being stupid.

    And Facebook should ban them.

  17. That is weird. And gross. So facebook will ban photos of breastfeeding babies but allow pictures of their weird-looking faeces. That shit don’t look right.

  18. It’s a toadstool!

  19. For God’s sake, Crystal – save it for the private family ‘my baby’s first fucking everything’ album that moron’s bust out of the dusty bookshelf when their turding toddlers turn 18. Don’t post it for the whole damn world to see, idiot.

  20. FUN DAY!

  21. That’s what shit looks like when the baby has it’s first ever poop, it’s black & it’s disgusting, all of you have done it eewwwww.

  22. People need to realize that not all pictures need to make it onto Facebook.

  23. Why would anyone even take a picture of this.

  24. @14 Was just about to say… Which is more messed up, posting shit like this, or liking it?

  25. I hope Suzette is grandma…

  26. And I thought parents couldn’t get any worse then taking pictures of their naked children.

  27. anubis youre a fucking faggot

  28. anubis is clearly a homosexual based on thinking that a picture of poop may be worse than a picture of a naked small child of unmentioned gender.

  29. Between genetics and environment, this is the highest achievement that little hobbit is ever going to have.

  30. She PUSHES!

  31. That’s one sad little poop. I had some overzealous new mom do this on my facebook a long while back. I promptly deleted her from my friend list.

  32. Fuck you Suzette for ‘liking’ it.

  33. fucking nasty.
    Some people (mothers) really shouldnt have fb.
    no one, I mean NO ONE cares about your child’s shit.

  34. I had to adblock that shit. Pun intended.

  35. BoozehammerOfGalem

    You gotta be shittin’ me…

  36. BULL frog SHIT

  37. Think of the personalized picture frame for this one! – “baby’s first bowel movement”

  38. the fact that Suzette likes this makes it alright

  39. Ewww…. Gross…

  40. Come on Lamebook, we count on you to blur these things out!! AUGH!!!

  41. Please. Get some standards. I’ll “like” on that when wee Lexi takes a dump while reciting her multiplication tables.

  42. …hopefully, in the near future this will NOT be the same woman who posts her daughter’s “first sanitary napkins”.
    I shudder.

  43. At least she didn’t post a video…LOL

  44. she shit in the bucket

  45. shut up boz you asshole

  46. wait, that’s a big girl potty?

  47. thats a shitty looking pic!

  48. isn’t lexington something you would name a dog? i’d name a dog lexington

  49. Obviously her shit smells like roses.

  50. Crystal is likely the product of oversupportive parenting. It is beyond her comprehension that anything important to her could not be equally important to everyone else.

    She is so lost up her own arsehole (and her child’s, apparently) that by calling it something cutesy like “poopoo” she can forget the stunning fact that she has just taken a photo of shit and posted it on the internet.

    This epic self-crush would also help explain the pretentious name Lexington, which sounds more like a car, soap opera character or hotel chain.

  51. Did anyone else notice the shower curtain?

    Oh! any look! there is a vent for a nice little breeze when the kid is doing her business. HER BUSINESS. not the interwebz….

  52. photoshopped.

    i will noy return to read this, do not respond.

  53. Humbug, Being as though you didn’t write ‘not’ I will assume that you will be returning….
    WHY WHY WHY would anyone bother photoshopping POO?
    It would mean that they had a photo of said poo to begin with. Although if it was a PS job, That would be even more lame.

    I hate parents like this. If my kid got excited about their own shit as this woman is about her kids, I would tell them to ‘harden the fuck up kid, it’s just shit’

    but then again, I am a realistic person.
    Is that so wrong?
    by the way, Boz, I love you.

  54. Big Wiggly Style – what about the shower curtain?

  55. That’s it, the internet broke me.

  56. Go away Kaoss.

  57. fucked up woman, why don’t you just go the whole hog? have a book of my babies firsts… sick ups, nose bleeds, infected scab, ‘my first kiss’.

  58. Pedant – It looks like a decoration for the Rain-Forest Cafe.

  59. Kaoss – my apologies. I had to see my dr this morning about the problems i’ve been having with my balls. Bit touchy.

  60. Does anybody else notice how there are another 176 pictures in Lexington’s album?

  61. OMG I will admit to being “one of those” mums who post stuff about their baby on facebook that probably bores the shit out of people but Crystal, Lady get a grip!! That is just disturbing – no one wants to see that shit – literally!!!

  62. The fact that she is called Crystal, the kid is called Lexington, and the woman who likes it is named after a crepe all add to the wonder of this post. We are truly living in a golden age.

  63. Why would this even be in a private family photo collection, let alone posted on Facebook for the world and his Lamebook to see?

  64. In many ways I’m very relieved that the Internet, particularly Facebook, did not exist when I was a baby. Not that my mum is actually insane enough to:

    1) Photograph my poo in the first place.

    2) Share my poo with everyone she has befriended, possibly even the entire Facebook population if she hasn’t made her profile private.

    Imagine growing up, getting to that tender, often self conscious age where you start wanting to use social networking sites – let’s say 14 or 15 – then your mother befriending you and tagging you in a picture like this. Given the fact that Crystal has not only posted this picture in the first place, but also called her child such an unfortunate name as Lexington, it really wouldn’t surprise me if this is what she proceeds to do.

    I have a feeling Lexington will probably end up just as screwed up as her name and her mother.

  65. I’ve seen better.

  66. 64. hmmm

    Lexington probably already has a Facebook profile of her own (created by Crystal) complete with friend requests to all of Crystal’s Facebook friends and daily status updates such as ‘Goo goo, ga ga’.

    Let’s face it, if she’ll post a picture of crap on Facebook, she’ll probably do something equally lame.

    STFU parents !

  67. I linked this to my SIL’s FB wall and thanked her for never, ever doing anything like this with my nephews. I did not realize until now how much I appreciate her.

  68. That is just gross beyond words. Has the particular Facebook user in question got no sense of decency or respect for his or her child to post this for everyone to see?

  69. That child needs some prune juice.

  70. Lexington’s a GIRL? For some reason I assumed it was a boy… I should really read these posts more carefully.

  71. Boz,

    Apology accepted.

    Your balls are a bit touchy? I can help with that…

  72. Since when did it become acceptable to post up pictures of poo on Facebook?

  73. Holy Shit!

  74. ^ Shit post.

  75. Kaoss,

    That is why I was mean before. I find your posts towards me uncomfortable. Please leave me alone.

  76. comments are perfect!

  77. LOL I agree with James, if that’s a big girl potty, I’ve been doin’ it wrong for 21 years.

  78. Here’s an important aspect I think needs to be addressed: THAT POO LOOKS SO UNHEALTHY. What, does this woman have her kid on a strict diet of nuggets and diet cokes?

  79. Hey, my nephew has that potty…

  80. No shit?

  81. no shit indeed

  82. How come only the most baby-esque things get the title “big boy/girl”? Seriously though.
    Oh yeah and that shit is retarded.


  84. Parents who do this: this may be a big deal to you and thats fine but photographing it is in fact, sick.

    However if you take the psychotic step of then placing it on the freaking internet and in turn everyone’s facebook page via new photo upload, you are beyond egotistical and need to be beaten. The fruit of your crotch is not so incredibly amazing to the rest of the world that we would all want to gaze upon it’s shit.

    Puppies, bear cubs and baby bunnies and are cuter then most kids but you don’t see people uploading their first turds on a stupid looking frog.

    Knock it off!

  85. What’s more disturbing is that someone actually liked that photo.

  86. This is the perfect example of how parents have gone to far in what’s appropriate on FB. Who is actually interested in this much detail about child development?

  87. crystal, “thanks” for sharing your baby’s first shit with the world

  88. I love how Suzette Likes this…sick bitch!

  89. People like this are just gross. I once got a picture of a friends child that had vomit all down the front of him. The caption was “Eric was sick today!”

    I’m never having kids but just to fuck with people’s heads I would get a kids potty,eat Mexican food,take a laxative and go to town later on. Then post that as “Baby’s first poop” to all the parents that insist on sick pics.

  90. @Gothique LMAO

  91. Lexi needs more fiber.

  92. “lexi needs more fibre”

  93. oh my….what did Lexi eat?! poop is not supposed to look it?

  94. @ 15 and 48, Lexington is an area in New york made famous in the song ‘Waiting for my man’ by The Velvet Underground, it is renowned as the place for junkies to go and sell their blood then hang about waiting to score some smack.
    Way to go Crystal!! Hope to fuck you don’t have any more kids to mess up by naming them after shit holes and then posting their shit all around the web.

  95. Or it could be that her daughter is named Alexa or something similar that Lexi is short for.

    Or perhaps she has no idea about any of these other connections and likes the name “Lexi.”

    Either way, you’re a prick.

  96. Well nevermind, I didn’t see the part where it actually says Lexington at the top.

    Still a prick, though.

  97. My broke ass relatives have an a/c vent like that on their floor too. It’s because they live in a mobile home….

    Trailor park people are great.

  98. bam – you’re an idiot

  99. LOL, how can ANYONE in their right mind click on the “like” button for this picture? Unless they have a fetish for shit. But they’d have to be on a Japanese game show to like poo in their mouths.

  100. detox,
    How can anyone in their right mind actually think there is a Japaneses game show that involve putting poo in ones mouth? Lived here for in Japan for a while now and I’ve never seen anything like that. Are you sure it wasn’t something you download to jerk off to that looked like a game show? You know that is not real life right? You’re smarter then that right?

  101. HI—This is Crystal and this photo was taken from MY Facebook account. I just wanted to reply to all of you losers who felt compelled to leave rude comments on MY photo. Some of the comments were quite hilarious, but a lot of them are just RUDE. So I would like to redeem myself:

    I’ll start with Owen, the first douchebag to leave a comment.

    Owen: First of all, I’m NOT a stupid bitch. I’m actually a college educated working mother, and I posted this picture because most of the people that I’m friends with on Facebook are my family members. My mother actually asked me to post the picture so that she could see it because she was so proud of her 9 month old granddaughter for pooping in a potty, something that most 9 month olds don’t do.

    Boz: No she is not a rabbit, baby poop looks a lot different that your shit. I’m assuming you don’t have children, or you would have known this.

    JJ: Obviously the entire world doesn’t want to see my baby’s first poop. That’s why I didn’t post it on YouTube, I posted it on MY PERSONAL Facebook page, assuming that the only people that would see it would be people that I’m friends with, which are mostly my family. It was never intended for losers like you to see.

    Dr. Freud: Suzette is not into scat. She is my co-worker and friend who has a daughter the same age as my daughter, so she can relate to the excitement that I had when my 9 month old pooped in her potty for the first time.

    Sharkbot: Yes, my FEMALE child’s name is Lexington. We wanted her to have a unique name, and she usually goes by Lexi, which is a widely accepted name for a girl. I’m sure you probably have a very unique name like Tim or John, right?

    Aniskai: I’m sure when my child grows up she will be proud to have a mother who cares enough about her to document her first big accomplishments. And I don’t know why her name has anything to do with it. She is most likely going to be a very accomplished person considering she is very loved by a huge family, and she is given everything a child could ever need or want.

    Ben: No, she was NOT named after an aircraft carrier. I’ve never even heard of aircraft carrier name Lexington.

    Jonas: Why should any of my friends be labeled as stupid? Most of my friends are actually the opposite of stupid, considering they have college educations and successful careers, something I’m sure you lack.

    Geez: I apologize for being extremely proud of my child, I guess that makes me a bad mother. And I DIDN’T post it for the whole world to see. It was on MY facebook page, the only people that have to look at it are people that want to, like my mother. If I wanted the entire world to see it I would have posted it somewhere else, it wasn’t intended for a million people to see, obviously, dumbass.

    Freq: Since you know absolutely NOTHING about my child’s genetics OR her environment, I don’t even know how your comment is relevant. Considering both of her parents have college educations and her environment consists of a brand new house where she is given everything a child could ever want, I think she’ll be fine!

    SirPoopAlot: No, fuck YOU, for being a douchebag. Get a life and stop leaving stupid comments on stupid websites.

    Jasey: Your argument is that mothers shouldn’t have facebook? Why is that? Because your a fat,zit-faced, 15 year old boy and you don’t want YOUR mother to have a facebook page because she might see that you held hands with a girl for the first time, or perhaps how obsessed you are with Twilight? And someone DID want to see this picture, My mother asked me to post it, so don’t comment when you have no idea what you’re talking about.

    Comments 34-40: These were actually quite hilarious, Kudos to you for having a sense of humor and not being a complete asshole when doing so.

    Jelly: This IS a pretty big accomplishment for a 9 month old, you obviously don’t have children. Again, I apologize for being a proud parent.

    naaice: Perhaps you might name a dog Lexington. But I also have a dog named Wilson, which is a “human” name. I think the name Lexington is unique and charming. And she can go by Lexi if she doesn’t like her name.

    Again with you Freud: I’m assuming by your “name” that you study psychology, as do I, which would also explain your lengthy critique of my photo and my daughter’s name. Maybe I AM a product of “over supporting parents” if there is such a thing. I don’t think it’s even possible to be “over supporting” when you are a parent. Your JOB as a parent is to be supporting and to love your child for EVERYTHING they do, even if that means their first poop! At least I’m not a negligent, drug-addicted whore who doesn’t give a crap about her kid, which is how a lot of mothers are, unfortunately! And again, I don’t know why her name is such an issue.

    Kaoss: I assume you are implying that I am an UNrealistic person? Because I was excited about my 9 month old taking a poop on her potty? Get real. Oh, and I’ll make sure to tell my baby to “harden the fuck up”, just because you said so! Because you’re such a realistic person, whatever the fuck that means, you sound like a real winner, good luck with parenting, or on the other hand, help out humanity and just don’t have children!

    hmm: I’m “screwed up” just because I posted this picture? I’m actually pretty NOT screwed up considering I’m a hard working, college educated mother who is going to school to get my master’s degree to become a professor so that I can do my part in helping the world. You’re probably the one that is “screwed up”, since you have nothing better to do than sit on Lamebook and leave stupid comments about people you don’t even know!

    Saslee: Again, I’m assuming you don’t have children either, much like the other morons who have commented on this. Babies have a very different diet, mostly consisting of formula, so yeah, their poop looks different than adult feces, GROW UP!

    Mandy: I uploaded the picture with an entire album from my camera, so no, EVERYONE did NOT have look at this picture through the “new photos” link. My mom asked me to post it because she was proud of her granddaughter. The only people that would see the picture are people who look through my Daughter’s album, which are mostly my family, who WOULD be proud of Lexington for pooping in a potty at such a young age, so shut up please!

    Nothemessiah: I’ve never even heard of the song, or the place, that you are talking about. So NO that is NOT what we named our daughter after. Good try though idiot!

    Bam: You are such a fucking dumbass. You’re assuming that because we have a vent on our floor we live in a mobile home!? Actually this is my daughter’s own personal bathroom in our newly built home in a private subdivision. You’re a moron. Any home with a heating unit that runs through the basement will have a vent on the floor, not just mobile homes. Let me guess, you live in an apartment with someone you met online? Go fuck yourself.

    Detox: You are also an idiot. Maybe you and bam should have children and then we’ll see how incredibly smart and amazing your kids come out to be! HA

    Ok, well now that I got that off my chest I feel a lot better. I understand that maybe I crossed the line by posting this picture on my Facebook, but like I said before, my mom wanted to see it, and I didn’t NOT intend for it to be posted on this incredibly STUPID website. I do appreciate some of the funnier comments though, but the rest of you that I mentioned above are just complete rude idiots and you should really get a fucking life.

  102. ***Oh, and now that I’ve calmed down and re-read this, I see that I made some grammatical errors. I apologize for these typos, because I’m sure all of you assholes will point them out to me, since you have to insult people to make yourselves feel better.***

  103. Crystal, from one over supporting parent to another, kudos for making your child feel special. I do the same. These people are getting stuck on the fact that there is poop involved, which shows their maturity level, not yours. I can only imagine the violation you are feeling having a private photo STOLEN and posted for people to mock. Most of whom are probably under the age of 20. I know it is cliche, but just consider the source. You sound like an amazing mother. And I LOVE the name Lexington. My two also have unique names so they don’t have to be Ryan W. or David R. Do what you know is right for your family and make your profile private!

  104. Rereading that it sounds like I am saying that what is right for your family is making your profile private! That’s not what I meant. I mean, do what you feel is right for your family and (entirely different thought) avoid this in the future by making your facebook profile friends only! I

  105. Thanks Julie, It’s nice to know there are other good people out there that can understand my frustration. Honestly, I didn’t even know you could or needed to set your profile to private. Like I said, I mostly just get on there to talk to my family, I had no idea people could steal my pictures and put them on another website. I feel completely violated, and extremely angry. Thanks for the uplifting comment though, I really appreciate it.

  106. Crystal, if you post it on the internet, it’s not private, ever. Privacy on the internet is like snow in hell; it doesn’t exist. No one wants to see baby shit. If your damned mother requested to see your baby’s shit, then e-mail it to her instead of posting it for the world to see. And we get it, you’re college-educated. Just like all the other college-educated idiots out there. The more you protest how smart you are the stupider you look. And hey, remember what i just said about idiots? It applies on the internet too. Most people are idiots. You just turned yourself into one by stamping your metaphorical foot and pouting at all these people. And you know what else? My name is John. No, it’s not exactly unique, but it’s not pretentious either, and at least i can’t think of any dogs named John. Can’t say that about Lexington. She had puppies yesterday.

  107. Crystal: has it ever occurred to you that you’re a cunt?
    Also, shut the fuck up about your college education. It’s not as impressive as you seem to think it is.

    Oh, and posting photos of your kid’s shit on the internet is creepy.

  108. Crystal,

    I too am college educated, and a mother. But that doesn’t mean I introduce myself to strangers by saying, “Hi, I’m Theda, did I mention I am a college educated mother who lives in an amazing housing estate? Oh, and my daughter has her own private en suite!”. I’m concerned that your constant re-affirmation of what are essentially material achievements is a mask you are using to cover for some serious self-esteem issues.

    You should not allow your role as a mother define your entire existence, nor should you use your college education as a way of justifying your worthiness.

    If, as you say, you posted the picture on your Facebook so that your mother could see it, then it does raise some concerns about your relationship with your mother. Are you not close? Is Facebook your only form communication with her? Could you not email it, send it or even show it to her? Or could it be that the story about your mother “requesting” the photo simply a retro-fitting of circumstances to justify why you put it on Facebook?

    While I understand your embarrassment and the sense of violation you feel from having your child’s photo uploaded against your wishes and openly mocked by hundreds of people, remember that you opened yourself up to this by allowing something so personal to be posted in a public forum such as Facebook.

    Think of your child. While you may have uploaded this picture out of pride, she may not see it this way. In later years she may find it as inappropriate and embarrassing as many of the people on this message board do.

    And, while you may think it’s important for a child to have a “unique” name such as Lexington, keep in mind she has to live with it, not you. By giving her a unique name on purpose, you are encouraging her to define herself by superficial uniqueness. Uniqueness is defined by strong character and confident choices, not a name.

    Trust me, growing up as the only “Theodosia” in a million mile radius, I can honestly say that I would rather have been Jessica #63737 any day.

    Sorry for my long winded rant.

    Theda xo

  109. HA! You just got told, dumbass! Read that again. Memorize it. And then read my comment. Giving a child EVERYTHING they could ever need or want just leads to a spoiled child who values material posessions over anything else and grows up to put pictures of poop on facebook. But dont worry, its her PERSONAL facebook, so obviously noones going to see it except grandma.

  110. @***Crystal***: Since everyone’s been bagging it, I just want to say that I like the name Lexington and “Lexi” is a cute nickname. I completely agree with giving children unusual names. I liked not being “Katherine S” or “Jessica L” when I was at school. Sure, I’ve had to spell my name out pretty much every day of my life (or at least, an average of once a day for every day I’ve been alive) and sure today alone, one of my co-workers pronounced my name wrong on two separate occasions but I still like having an unusual name.

    That being said, I really, really don’t think it’s right to be posting this shit (literally!) on your Facebook. If your mother wanted to see it, you could’ve emailed it to her, as well as to your friend who has a child the same age as yours. It’s fine to be proud of your little girl but there are some lines that really just shouldn’t be crossed and bowel movements are one of them (along with naked bath photos). By uploading it to your Facebook it meant that every person who was on your friends list would’ve had it come up in their news feed and I guarantee you that not all of them wanted to see it. How can I be 100% certain of that fact? It was submitted to Lamebook. :-\

  111. Alexandria aka Lexi

    Lexington isn’t that bad of a name… more male oriented i guess. But what can you do?

    It’s not that strange though. my friends brother named his son legend and his daughter legacy, lol.

  112. why the fuck do you care so much to take 4 hours to type that fuckin long ass paragraph ****Crystal***** and i agree postin a pick of your babys first shit is fucked up i dont care if you friends wanted to see baby shit

  113. Hey ****Crystal***

    The USS Lexington is an aircraft carrier.

    Glad to see that college education is working out for ya.

  114. WikidJuggaloPanda

    @113 leenda: FTW Epic Win!!! I actually read that crazy bitch’s entire message to see why you said that, very good eye. ^.^

  115. @ Crystal

    “Yes, my FEMALE child’s name is Lexington. We wanted her to have a unique name, and she usually goes by Lexi, which is a widely accepted name for a girl. I’m sure you probably have a very unique name like Tim or John, right?

    Bhahaha, my name is pretty damn unique, I’ve never met anyone with the same name. But it’s still a real name, not one my mother pulled out of her ass to then say “Here, this is your name. Yeah, that’s right, I fucking hate you.”
    Lexington… Holy shit.

  116. While I understand that your mother might have wanted to see this, why not simply email it to her, rather than post it on FB?

  117. If you don’t want to see pictures like this why don’t you delete Crystal from your facebook friends list? Then you wouldn’t have to see it.

    Oh wait, you AREN’T her facebook friend. You went on a website that takes particularly laughable, silly or shocking (as in this case) pictures from someone’s facebook and posts them here.

    The fact that ANY of you saw this photo has nothing whatsoever to do with Crystal and she most certainly does not deserve the verbal abuse she has been getting. Stop being such dicks. If you don’t want to see stuff like this then either feck off to another website or moan at the moderators, after all it is one of them that decided to share this picture.

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