Wednesday, November 18, 2009

TMI Don’t Like This

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previous post: The Great Divorce, Long Time no Sussex

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93 Comments

  1. First? Leigh sounds like a fun gal

  2. Cant be that good if she’s thinking about updating her status and typing correctly. meh!

  3. Leigh – I’ll come flick it for you!!

  4. Oddly enough when I read Janice saying “omygahhhh” at the end, it makes me think she was typing but then starting to take a dump and couldn’t finish typing it out.

    I’m fucking strange.

  5. I thought the same thing foolishwolf.

    That’s the only way “omygahhh” makes any sense in that context.

  6. I want to taste that poop

  7. Leigh isn’t lame she is fun.

  8. Leigh’s post would have been so much better if she was friends with one (or both) of her parents and they replied…

  9. Lea, Leigh and Janice should have a get together.

  10. Countdown until the sexual liberation internet protest brigade accuses Lamebook of puritanism: 10, 9, 8…

  11. @whut

    They did. They released video footage of their party – “3 girls, 1 cup”.

  12. Leigh’s has totally been written by a friend after she left her Facebook logged in.

  13. @blarg – there’s nothing wrong with a woman pleasuring herself! This is the 21st century! Oh sure..it’s ok for MEN, but not for WOMEN!!

    Does that work? ;)

  14. @Ms. Terri

    I completely agree. I always make sure to update my facebook status to notify my friends and family whether or not I’m masturbating and if it feels good, and nobody seems to mind when I as a male do it. It’s just not fair that one woman does it and it ends up on lamebook!

  15. flicking the bean?

  16. The @ sign looks a bit like a bean. Maybe that’s why these idiots use it.

  17. Yes, flicking the bean.

  18. Im in love

  19. With the bean flicker I mean…

  20. the bean flicker’s comment should have ended her comment with the “omygahhhh”

  21. When she’s done flicking her bean, can I stir her stew up a little? The ladle is ready….

  22. *Vibrates* on Leighs bean.

  23. *spreads for DILDO*

  24. Am I the only person in the world who thinks the phrase “flicking my bean” sounds really painful? Seriously, anyone who thinks my “bean” needs “flicking” needs to stay the hell away from it.

  25. God women are lucky what with having a bean to flick, a man bean would be awesome. Wobbling around in a tizzy with your pockets cut out. You would never get anything done.

  26. If bean flicking were an Olympic sport, I would do my country proud.

  27. @ Paula

    I bet you would ;)

  28. You shouldn’t flick your bean…Mexicans are people too ya know!

  29. @Hone-inone

    I love how the commenters on this website think it’s okay for THEM to be racist.

  30. i love niggars and spics

  31. KKK all the way!

  32. I wonder how the order of these was determined…is it alphabetical? Bean, *Hemorrhoids*, shit….

  33. @ Dr. Hymen

    It’s not hemorrhoids, it’s hemroids. Pay attention!

  34. i fuck my mother for fun and profit.

  35. Plants suck assshole

  36. I’m really funny when I type, “I fuck my mother for fun and profit.” Dat’s so funny, I slap my knee, so funny.

  37. OBJECTION!

  38. Someone took a screenshot before I commented. I asked her what “flicking the bean” meant and one of her friends replied with “it’s like cuffing the carrot, but with less vitamin A”.

    I still didn’t know what this meant, but Leigh deleted her post and I still don’t know.

  39. @Leah …dumped.

  40. 21st century is not the issue here. I don’t see any men, that I’m facebook friends with at least, updating their facebook and informing their friends and family members about whenever they masturbate. How inappropriate! Leigh, go back under the rock you came out of, whore!

  41. Ehm, I think it’s kind of gross that that was her status too, and maybe it was a joke, but don’t you think “whore” is a little harsh and Taliban-ey?

  42. Jules! Thats hilarious! “Taliban-ey”?!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats now my new favourite expression!

  43. if your clit resembles anything close to a bean, you have a medical issue.

  44. Firkules has never seen a vagina.

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=vagina

  45. Um, since when was calling someone a whore like a terrorist organization?
    And no, thinking someone is a whore because they felt it necessary to publically announce that they were masturbating and how it felt is not harsh.

  46. eww
    flick away sista’ but we really don’t needs to hear about it :s

    and poop away sista’, but again, really don’t need to know
    eww

  47. insert clever name here

    @NotaBeanFlicker …someone who masturbates and talks about it = person who sells their body for money? Fail.

  48. Anyone here like turtles?

  49. I like turtles.

  50. Insert clever Name Here, here is a philosophy lession for you.

    Premise 1:
    whore (hôr, hōr)
    n.
    1. A prostitute.

    *2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.*

    3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

    Premise 2:
    *Promiscuous= indiscriminate sexual behavior, casual, irregular or haphazard*

    Premise 3:
    Boasting about how you are masturbating for all the world to see= indiscriminate (as well as gross and inappropriate).

    Therefore, Conclusion 1:
    Leigh is a whore

    And Conclusion 2:
    insert clever name here= YOU FAIL!

  51. @Nota So those overly cutesy “so happy they waited” type women who constantly leave statuses about “naughty time with the hubby” are whores? I mean, I always knew they were nauseating but whores, really?

  52. @ Nota

    Firstly, you are a jackass.

    Secondly, your definition of our friend Leigh, is wrong. She is not displaying indiscriminate sexual behavior, she is displaying indiscriminate Facebook posts. Her sexual behavior is not the issue, or the problem, just her decision to share it with her FB world. Can you not see the difference?

  53. flogging a dead horse

    @

    @@@@@@@@@

    Why do you come here?
    All you seem to comment on is the usage of @.
    You are wrong, get over it and move on.

  54. @ NotaBeanFlicker

    Any proper psychologist would suggest habitual flicking of the beans as therapy for your jackass-ness.

  55. i would love to use poop as paste for my art project

  56. Ok, right. I think it’s inappropriate and whore-like to broadcast that one is flicking their bean all over facebook. Not only does that make me a jack ass, but it also means I need to masturbate? Oh, yeah, and I’m also a terrorist apparantly.

    Excuse me for having the class not to post the sexual acts I may be doing at the time all over the internet. I have to go now, I’m currently getting fucked in the ass (but it’s by my husband so I’m not a slut or anything). Oh baby oh baby, it feels so good. *sarcasm* You people are gross.

  57. Wow, notabeanflicker. Thanks for that comment. Just thinking about your getting fucked in the ass by your husband gave me a hard on. Think I need to go jack off.
    Thanks again.

  58. I’m glad to hear it. Maybe your boyfriend can come over and fuck your ass too and then you can be like Leah’s honey with the “hemroids.”

  59. sounds like fun. as long as your hubby comes over and puts his dick in my mouth at the same time again.

  60. As soon as he takes it out of my ass, he will put it RIGHT IN YOUR MOUTH. ;)

    *sarcasm*

  61. Can he put it in your pussy first? Word on the street is your pussy taste like honey.

  62. Nobody would know how it tastes because that’s an act I won’t allow on me. Sorry pimp.

  63. Wait! What?! NotaBeanFlicker will get f’d in the a, but won’t let someone go down on her?

    There’s no way you are really a female…or you are, but you’re very young and ignorant. (1) Anal sex can be painful and is not enjoyable to most women (although there are a lot of women who do enjoy it, most don’t). (2) oral sex is probably the most pleasurable sexual act a woman can partake in and most women would take it over penetration any day of the week. Although, really, the combination of receiving oral and then penetration is most satisfying.

  64. The idea of someone going “down there” really disgusts me. It doesn’t turn me on in the least and ever talking about it really freaks mem out. Therefore, my husband and I don’t do it. That doesn’t make me a man. Everyone has different likes and dislikes. I also dislike “flicking my bean” as one calls it. I don’t see the point. As someone who isn’t single, I find it really disrespectful to my husband to think about other men. If I’m in the mood for sex, I can just have sex. I don’t need to do it myself.

    For the record, I was being sarcastic about the being fucked in the ass. Hense my continually saying *sarcasm*

  65. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    @NotaBeanFlicker

    You’re not actually obliged to be thinking of men other than your husband while you masturbate – where did that little slice of weird creep in from?
    And you never feel in the mood for sex when he’s not around?

    But hey, everything you’ve said here is just you ironically playing with the TMI / oversharing theme of the original posts, right?
    Right?
    . . .

  66. insert clever name here

    NotaBeanFlicker = EPIC FAIL

  67. @Strubisatoaster:

    Not all flicking is created equal. As a guy, I am much to scared to flick a female’s bean with my fingers (Rubbing seems to work fine for my purposes) for fear of hurting her…but flicking with a tongue seems to have a positive out…ummm…come.

    Then again, your mileage may vary.

    @NotaBeanFlicker:

    What sort of repressed world did you grow up in? The human body is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated! One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, and THE single best way we can find out what gives us pleasure so that we may show our partners what we want is masturbation. It is not “dirty” it is perfectly natural. Babies do it in the uterus, young children know it feels good, and for you to say that it’s dirty shows ignorance on your part…or the effects of a religious upbringing. I’d put money on the latter.

    And if you meant that YOUR vagina is dirty (IE there is an ACTUAL bean or two down there), there are ways of fixing that!

  68. Follow-up question: Do you ever go down on your husband?

  69. I’m not someone who is religous at all. I never said that Leigh was “dirty” for masturbating. I said that she is whore for posting it publically all over facebook.

    On the same note that there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with someone who masturbates, there isn’t anything wrong with someone who doesn’t really masturbate. To answer the question, no, I don’t really feel in the mood that much when my husband IS around, much less when he isn’t. I’m not obsessed with sex- not opposed either. If something were to happen with my husband and I were to have no more sex anymore- oh well. It’s not something I need to be happy, I have a really full life.

    Finally, Jules- why would it matter to you whether or not I go down on my husband? I would think that what we choose to do, or not do, in the privacy of our bedroom is really none of your business. Pervert.

  70. Maybe Jules, you would like a list of the sexual positions we do? Pictures perhaps?

  71. Actually, I had a big post right before #68, hence the “follow-up” bit. I’m not sure if it was deleted or what…

    Anyway, it was along the lines of:
    I think you’re confusing the Taliban, an oppressive, radical anti-modern movement, with Al-Qaeda, a group of people who want global jihad, aka terrorism. The Taliban oppresses women and undoubtedly their desires, which I suppose can be a form of terrorism. Masturbation is awesome and so is cunnilingus: OMFG AWESOME. Masturbation is a totally natural act and there are benefits of doing it like stress-relief, building resistance to yeast infection, and strengthening pelvic muscles for even more awesome sex.

    It’s cool if you don’t like masturbating (though I think you, and everyone, should try it more often) but your mistake was dehumanizing someone who likes to masturbate by calling them a whore. It’s a funny word sometimes in certain context, but as a woman yourself, don’t you think it better to not fortify an ugly word like that by misusing it? And how do you know if she has any family on her Facebook? It could just be all her friends who may know her well enough to be used to that, or share in the same humor, or whatever. It’s a private forum she wrote on, and it was probably someone she didn’t give permission to who submitted it to Lamebook.

    In the original comment I also asked whether or not you had ever had an orgasm because of your (apparent) view on sex, but you’re probably not going to answer that anyway. Since you’re disgusted by someone performing oral sex on you, I wondered if you’d ever performed it for your husband. These are questions out of pure curiosity and we’re pretty anonymous right now, but it’s up to you to answer.

    I really would rather not see photos and that’s kind of a weird, yet thoughtful offer coming from someone as reserved as you. Thanks anyway!

  72. @ NotaBeanFlicker

    WTF? Do you actually have any feeling below the waist? I bet every man on this board is seriously glad that they are not married to your boring, prejudice arse. You don’t “do” oral? Not only are you a jackass, but you are also a freak! You may not “flick the bean”, but you can bet your virgin arsehole that your husband is yanking it like a monkey in a mango tree when your back is turned, thinking about someone who is a little less of a prude.

    It’s funny how you berate Leigh for posting sexual things, but you don’t think twice about telling a bunch of strangers your sexual preferences.

  73. Jules, you have every right to masturbate, think it’s awesome, and enjoy recieving oral. Just because I don’t think those things are as awesome as you do doesn’t mean I’m some opressed religous freak.

    Again, I didn’t call Leigh a whore for masturbating. I think it was whore-like to post about doing so, and about how good it feels onto the entire facebook community where her name is on there and associated with it and who knows when or where it would come up later. Maybe I said that I don’t like RECIEVING oral sex here nor do I really masturbate, but my name isn’t up here for the world to read, much less my friends and family. And if she is just joking, which may be a fair assumption, that’s a pretty crude thing to joke about.

    And for the record, I DO perform oral sex on my husband. I don’t enjoy it done to me, but that’s MY body, my choice.

    Welshraz, I never said I don’t “do” oral. I don’t RECIEVE oral because I don’t like it and it weirds me out. Not only is it my body, but it has never been an issue in any relationship I’ve had or my marriage. I say no, that’s not something I’m into, men I know respect that, and we do other things. How exactly does that make me a freak and a jackass? I DO pleanty of other things in the privacy of my bedroom and just because I don’t post about them with my name all over the internet doesn’t mean I’m a prude.

    I love how I say a few things about how I don’t enjoy getting oral on me, I don’t see a point in masturbating, and sex isn’t the most important thing in my world, and somehow that means I’m some boring freak. Just wait til you people grow up, have kids, get a job, and have a family. When you have to work most days, take care of three kids, etc… sex isn’t exactly on my mind most of the time or my number one priority.

  74. @ Jules

    She obviously does not give head. In a previous post she said:

    “It doesn’t turn me on in the least and ever talking about it really freaks me out. Therefore, my husband and I don’t do it.”

    So, on further inspection, her husband doesn’t go down, and neither does she. It’s probably just good old fashioned missionary for this girl. Probably only has sex to conceive. Her husband must be so contented with his choice of bride.

    Wait! Maybe she’s married to Donny Osmond…..?

  75. Here is my quote in context: “The idea of someone going “down there” really disgusts me. It doesn’t turn me on in the least and ever talking about it really freaks mem out. Therefore, my husband and I don’t do it.”

    The idea of someone going down ON ME disgusts me and my husband and I don’t have that in our bedroom or our relationship.

    The doesn’t mean I don’t perform oral on him. He has different preferences than me. So your “inspection” is incorrect, you flipping idiot.

    Furthermore, I already said that we have anal sex, so obviously it’s not “just missionary” for us, thanks though. There are LOTS of positions that don’t involve my cooter anyone’s face and I’m more than happy with those.

    Your assumptions are not only completely innaccurate but are judgemental and unfair. There is ONE act I refuse to have performed on me. ONE. So therefore, it’s fair to assume I’m a boring prude, my marriage is horrible, and I don’t satisfy my husband? Where the hell do you fucking come off???

  76. @ NotaBeanFlicker

    You did state that you don’t “do” oral. Please see my previous post.

    And FYI, I am married and both of us have jobs, but I still manage to have an awesome and varied sex life. And I don’t mind telling you that. Maybe you should make sex more of a priority.

  77. And please read my quote in context. I reposted it for you.

    Maybe you should make MY MARRIAGE AND SEX LIFE LESS OF A PRIORITY since you seem pretty damn concerned about my “poor” husband who must be so bored with me just because I won’t allow him to perform oral on me.

  78. Oh believe me, your sex life does not even rank as a priority and has become quite the joke between myself and my husband.

  79. I get that you don’t think she’s a whore for simply masturbating, but I still feel it’s a shitty word. Maybe you would now that you might be thinking about it, but if Leigh was a guy, would your first reaction be to call him a whore? Probably more along the lines of a jerk, or something? I think the word itself is what most people responded to.

    What you do in your life, sexually or not, is of course totally up to you (I mean, unless you go around raping kids and animals and I would bet that you don’t). But I do kind of want to know if you have ever had an orgasm; I’m not making fun, there are lots of women who haven’t. Have you ever tried receiving oral? If you have and you just really didn’t like it, awesome. If you haven’t tried it, still fine, but I am behind you 110% to give it a go. Try it with saran wrap, if that seems less gross. Also, masturbating is the shit. Even if you’re not in the mood, if you’re bored and alone I would recommend it once and a while. It’s good and good for you!

    I know there are things in life more important than getting off, but it’s one of life’s simple pleasures that I don’t believe should go to waste.

  80. I fucking love how a website devoted to the lighthearted pisstaking of internet idiots can’t put up a single submission without it being debated by easily offended internet imbeciles/detractors of easily offended internet imbeciles 77 times. You are all missing the point!

  81. Welshraz- I don’t see why, because there is nothing wrong with my sex life. Again, there is one sexual act I won’t allow done to me. That’s it. Sorry you feel the need to make judgements, call me names, and make untrue assumptions about me and my husband and my marriage about it.

    And Jules, you’re right. I don’t call men whores simply because that is a word mostly reserved for females. Well, there’s man whores, but sometimes that is looked on as a good thing. I would think a man who posted something similar was disgusting and inapporpriate as well- which is how I feel about Leigh. Again, not disgusting for the act, but for not being private about it.

    I have had orgasms, they’re fine, but I guess I don’t need to have one all the time to feel happy. Someone once gave me oral for about 30 seconds in high school. Too gross for me. Not only was it probably done wrong, but I couldn’t get into the idea of my cooter being in someone’s face. It just absolutely sickens me and actually turns me off. With my husband, it has never been an issue. He asked once back when we dated if we could do it, I said it wasn’t something it was into, and that was the end of it. I don’t think I’m really missing out on anything either- there are plenty of hobbies others have that I don’t enjoy. I don’t perticularly like playing tennis or biking either. But I doubt saying that would cause such an online uproar (ie “what? no tennis? what a prude! obviously your husband is unsatisfied with you and your marriage!”). It’s really not a big deal.

    Again with the masturbation- it’s not that I have never done it in my whole life. I just don’t see the point. It’s rare that I’m ever alone in my house, seeing that I have three kids under the age of six. When I am alone, I’m usually trying to catch up on sleep, or just relax. When I am in the mood, my husband is home and I can just have the real thing.

  82. @ NotaBeanFlicker

    It’s the fact that you made a huge statement about whores and then your sex life, and now you feel the need to tell us all the juicy bits (pun intended). It’s a bit hypocritical considering that you berated Leigh for doing the same. In fact, her bean flicking statement is pretty tame compared to the things you have decided to share with us.

    Granted, I may have gone a little OTT with my statements towards you, but you came in here making false accusations and calling people whores. You are the one who decided to make it known that you don’t enjoy cunnilingus, and so you leave yourself open for attack. You made assumptions about someone based upon what they wrote on FB, so I made assumptions about you based on what you wrote. And I wasn’t the only one.

  83. NotaBeanFlicker’s comments are more lame than the lamebook entry… we didn’t really need to read about her ‘beanflicking’, no… but we definitely don’t need to read about your unfortunate sex life… which hopefully is less lame than you make it out to be… ‘cuz that would blow…

  84. Difference is that:
    a. I was ASKED
    b. My name isn’t on here for the entire world to read and know who I am

    How exactly do I leave myself open for attack by saying that I don’t enjoy doing something? I also said I don’t enjoy tennis and biking and have yet to be attacked for that. Why would me not liking someone down there on me automatically mean that:
    1. I’m religous
    2. I’m boring
    3. I’m a prude
    4. I’m a virgin
    5. I’m repressed sexually
    6. I don’t satisfy my husband

    Leigh posted on her facebook with her real name associated with it. I think that posting publically about how you’re masturbating and how it feels oh so good is a very whore-ish thing to do. How is that making an assumption about Leigh?

    welshraz, you are a very sad, sorry and rude individual and I feel mostly sorry for your poor husband. Sure, he is “allowed” to go down there on you, but he also has to live with you forever and deal with the way you are mean, your nasty assumptions about people for little reason, and your stupid attitude. I would give you the cliche go to hell responce, but hell is MUCH too good for you.

  85. If hell is listening to your self righteous crap, then I am already there.

    And for your information, my husband and I are very happy. Maybe it’s because I flick the bean. And he likes to watch….

  86. Well, what a lucky husband you have. *rolls eyes*

    I hope your stinky, dirty, nasty bean falls the hell off. And it’s painful. Stupid bitch.

  87. It seems to me that YOU are the one who makes “nasty assumptions about people for little reason”. You came on to this board, calling people out for being a whore with nothing more than a piss poor (incorrect) dictionary definition.

    Now you are wishing physical harm to those who dare question your own questionable sexual practices? What a nice person you are.

  88. Wow. Notabeanflicker, you are a total douche.

  89. Flicking or not flicking her bean aside, one of her comments was that it is rare she has time alone, due to the fact that she has three small kids, and when she does have time alone she tries to catch up on sleep or relax, but she has plenty of time to come on lamebook and criticize Leigh about a comment she made, and to put many of the details of her own sex life, which by her own definition of whore, makes her one also. But anyway, all the time she is spending here she is taking away from the three kids, and her husband. ya know…just saying :)

  90. insert clever name here

    @Notabeanflicker
    Anyone who refers to an orgasm as “fine” has never had one.

  91. Unfortunately for myself as a serial wanker it has got a bit serious, how about we get back to the clandestine erotic snippets of earlier. Notabeanflicker what do you do with your hands whilst slobbering on your husbands little pecker?

  92. Ok, I’m going to play devils advocate for a second here and hope I don’t get my head sliced off for it. I think that if we all look at what Leigh posted, it’s a bit gross and inapporpriate. Jules is right- whore might be a bit much. We don’t know what privacy settings Leigh has on her fb account, but a lot of the time people can see status updates of others that they search. Even if we assume that Leigh doesn’t have any family members on her friends list and has her profile on the highest privacy settings AND she was just kidding, obviously one of her friends didn’t think it was funny seeing that it’s on lamebook.
    I’m not sure how old NotaBeanFlicker is, but the face that there is little discression in society these days really bothers some people. Back when our grandparents and even our parents were growing up, sex wasn’t something that was talked about as much, much less posted for the whole world to read about it all over the internet. And I disagree that Nota is by her own definition a whore. From what I read, she sees a problem with Leigh’s name being associated with it. None of us know who Nota is, unless I missed something. In addition, most of her sexual information posts were answering questions asked of her. It seems that some people want it both ways. They ask questions of her sex life and when she answers them, she is attacked for sharing too much information and being just like Leigh.
    I agree with her that the assumptions made about her were entirely unfair. She said she didn’t like someone going down on her, which apparantly left her “open for attack.” How? Dr. Hymen said that many women don’t do anal sex. Should they be attacked? How many of us women here can honestly say that they are willing to do everything and have always been that way? Regardless, based on that, we got that she was a boring prude whose husband was unhappy in bed and a sexually repressed religous fenatic who has never had an orgasm. I personally think that is entirely unfair. Nota said she wasn’t religous, but so what if she was? Since when is being brought up in a home that has faith in something a horrible thing? And whose to say that just because she isn’t willing to let someone go down on her that she and her husband don’t have a very satisfying sex life sans oral?
    At the name time, @notabeanflicker, I think you have gone a little over the top getting mad here. Wishing pain on someone? Come on. I can see why you’re mad (I would be upset too if someone told me that my husband was unhappy with me and had a billion people attacking every word I had to say), but you have to remember that we are all strangers here. So what if some unidentified stranger on the internet calls you names? You have a life, remember? I think that if you are getting this worked up here, you should get back to it.
    Just my two cents.

  93. insert clever name here

    *yawn*

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