Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Tiffany Gets Told

previous post: The Worst Thing

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38 Comments

  1. Who doesn’t love wild, rough sex? That’s why women love rough men, because the sex isn’t boring.

  2. jesuschristanlsuperstar

    beat is right, i dated a hot chick but she was horrible in bed. She just lay there and wasn’t very flexible.

  3. Hot chicks a fine, but to unlock their secret whoring powers first you must convince them they’re fat and ugly and worthless, that way they learn to work a little harder in the sac to keep you around.

  4. This didnt happen. Its fake.

  5. Tiffany sounds super smart.

  6. Dear James, Surprise! You aren’t picking winners either.

  7. James never said he was, though, unlike Tiffany.

  8. James is a patronising fucktard.
    And notice that he is blaming Tiffany’s “bf” for making his “gf” cheat on him. He is probably not as self aware as you think, crane.

  9. oh come now, frankenstein! That is a terribly uncharitable position.
    Surely James is completely wonderful and his gf is devoted to him. She didn’t *mean* to slip and fall on Tiffany’s bf’s cock. She’s prolly real sorry and, if she swears it will never happen again – well then, I believe her.

  10. @beatus I am pretty sure there is a nerdy computer programmer out there with a huge member and voracious sexual appetite. Just the one though.

  11. Frankenstein, I would advise that you calm down. James is nothing but fake.

  12. You’re right msanne, I’m too judgemental. That whole slipping and falling on stuff seems to happen alot. People can be so clumsy.

  13. everything about this is completely real, including the phenomenon of women being hot for assholes.

  14. You sound bitter, tr_willk. Are you not getting any?

  15. I am one of those arseholes that James is referring to and I can exclusively reveal to you all, right here, right now, that the secret to turning that attraction into a long-term relationship is…

    A well stocked secret underground dungeon / cellar / bunker and a steady supply of Rohypnol.

  16. ^that’s no fucking secret.
    and, thanks to the mighty internet, bdsm fetishes are so fucking common now, go to any club and guarantee there’ll be some nubile thing begging to be your sub. unless you’re really fucking ugly. or flamsie.

  17. Where’s the fucking sport in it if they actually want it?!

    I don’t care how good a fucking actress the spunk target is, she could be Meryl fucking Streep , she wont be able to recreate that glazed over terrified glint in the eye that a real victim has.

  18. Looks like a sufferer from Nice Guy Syndrome to me!

    Dude, if you can’t get a girl, there’s probably something wrong with you, not with 50% of the human population.

  19. You fucking with me again, mofo?
    They all want it.
    you say ‘glazed over terrified glint’ I say ‘gleam of lust’.

  20. As, Hawkbit, you caught me.

  21. Imamofo…you’re always claiming how you get shit loads of fanny and now that you’re “one of those guys”. So, between sucking your moms tit (as a grown man an by your own admission), being a little prick on lamebook and fondling your own gooch cos you’re too much of a bitch to just slip a finger inside yourself – I CALL BULLSHIT.

  22. Oi Cunticus how dare you!? Are you suggesting that everything I say on here might not be a completely factual account of actual events that have really happened!?

    You’ve hurt my feelings, I didn’t call you out for bullshitting about the fact that you’ve produced a supposedly healthy sprog did I?

    Oh and I’m a Twix man, so fuck you. (Two brown fingers)

  23. Well that’s my tea time treat ruined

  24. ^really?
    I’m still trying to work out what you’d call ‘brown to the elbow’…a Snickers? a Picnic? screw Mars bars…why is there no Uranus bar??

  25. Ms. don’t be a daft cunt. You KNOW why! Nothing would EVER get done if everyone was walking around giggling and talking about eating uranus. Then again, that might somehow bring happiness to world, I think you might be onto something..

  26. crustylovelips

    You kinda just did call me out… jus a lil bit. BUUUUUUUUUUT I wasn’t bullshitting. I’ve learnt all sorts of new shit since he was born. Baby boys urinate instantly nearly every time their nappy is removed. “Express” is basically milking yourself to save it for a later date…and YOU sir, try to big yourself up online :/

  27. I also laugh at others misfortune, revel in folk’s ire and only think of myself in bed.

    In other news, i’m surprised the brat didn’t shoot out of your vagina.

  28. ^shit. are you me?

  29. Imagine what our children would be like… There’s a position opening up for wife number twenty six soon if you want to apply.

    How good are you at pretending to cry and do you have an aversion to multi-coloured goo? Tell you what I’ll just send you the Application Form.

  30. I doubt there’d be children, sunshine. But I’ll need the rough measurements of what your hide will be once it’s treated and cured.
    I’m looking for a hairless piece about 40cm sq.
    Do you have an tattoos?

  31. any

  32. Oh my god, I could see it now. You two could take over the internetz.

  33. HA! I do have two tattoos. I have my dads face on one arse cheek and my mums on the other. I figured that way I could keep shitting on the pair of ‘em for as long as I live.

    Our spawn would be quick witted, soulless gobshites without a single redeeming feature… we’d be so proud!

    I’ll send you some seed in the post, throw it up you and give me a shout in 10 months time.

  34. wait, you shit all over your arse cheeks? I don’t want to even imagine what that must look like.

    but i doubt your munted wrigglers would be viable – even within my velvety, fertile enclave.

  35. Enclave? Does that mean it is full of witches? Or just mormons…

  36. ^I’ll have to check the guest list

  37. renketsuwarrior

    #35 &#36 = my favourite ever comments, keep it up

  38. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    I see what’s happened here; James is a “Nice Guy”. Meaning that he’s actually a huge misogynist who thinks that women are too stupid and inept to make their own decisions, and also that women don’t really like sex and that therefore male sexuality is something they need to be protected from. Infidelity not withstanding, Tiffany’s boyfriend is probably just a regular man with the same frailties and flaws as anyone – exactly the kind of person who Nice Guys label as Jerks (“Jerks” being the Nice Guy term ordinary men who manage to get the women Nice Guys moon over because they’re not spineless jackasses).

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