Monday, March 15, 2010

The Twilight Saga: Little Bites

previous post: Moronic Monday

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78 Comments

  1. Hmm. It would appear as though hickey boy has replaced his pinky finger with…
    A silver cork screw?

  2. Philip is my new best friend !
    and who in Jebus sake gives his child a name that rhymes with anus? That’s child abuse right there.

  3. seriously jelly? it’s a shell necklace!

  4. Hey Jim (in photo)….. she bit on your neck because she didn’t want to stick her tongue in your dirty ear.

  5. Angus does not rhyme with anus.

  6. I’d say something funny, but on seeing the word Twilight I was left in the uncomfortable positon of instinctively throwing up everywhere.

    Also I’m not funny.

  7. RingingInMyHead

    Why are people focusing on Angus when there’s a name like Jizzelle?

  8. Forget who names a child with a name that rhymes with anus, who names their kid Jizzle?
    It confuses me every time. I hope it’s just a nickname. Although that would be pretty unfortunate too.

  9. *Jizelle even. I prefer Jizzle though.

  10. RingingInMyHead

    @jelly – On the weekends, he goes by the stage name “Edward Screwhands.”

  11. I have to say that Lamebook, and all of you here, are on fire today! And it’s a stupid Monday to boot.
    Good job I say…also, I would love to have a boyfriend named Angus…I would snicker everytime I said it..hehehe

  12. Judging by the single painted nail(i assume by a sharpie)Jim is either 1.Gay or 2. still in public school wearing tight pants and sharing his emo-tions.either way I loathe him and all these vampire band wagon hopping kids that go from one fad to another faster then the aids epidemic in black people and homosexuals in the 80`s and early 90`s.

  13. Edward doesn’t make tea with her tampons! He goes down on her so he can get some nourishment with out penetration. It’s a win-win for both of them!

  14. @Desolation Row , Lmfao what about “Jizzelle”

  15. old bella joke is old

  16. We had Jizzelle visit the site before… Its pronounced like Giselle which is common in a number of areas… plus she is super hot so any name with Jizz in it works

  17. @ rutro15, have you never heard the name Angus before? Like jukaswo said, it doesn’t sound like anus at all. Or anything funny really.

  18. Jim definitely loves Twilight. He seems to be trying to mask his love for it with his *cough*joke, but it’s quite easy to see right through his disguise.

    As for this Twilight post…it would have made more sense to put it up just after the movie came out, not months later. Lamebook could have easily put something up more appropriate to current events, such as the other day being pi day, or the Ides of March, or Freddie being brutally murdered with a baseball bat in skins (yes…I went there). I’m sure loads of people posted print screens to Lamebook about those sorts of things. But no. They had to bring it back to goddamn Twilight. Those fuckers.

  19. to make it substanitally worse (IMHO) the ad to the right is some shitastic personalized teen vampire book thingy. Excuse me while I go revisit my supper!

  20. @eenerbl: Escept Twilight fans. They always lose.

    Giggle.
    I’m sorry, don’t hurt me.

  21. Apparently Edward doesn’t like “dead” blood…

    Go Phillip, so true!

  22. It’s all good British, I can take a stab. Although I have read them, I am not a fanatic. I prefer things with more spice, but I think we already knew that.

  23. What about Angus Young from ACDC. I think Angus is a great name to have.

  24. better than any of the posts is the name jizzelle. it sounds like a porn name.

  25. As far as I know, vampires aren’t really interested in consuming cervical mucus and endometrial cells. For the average woman, a little less than half of the menstrual fluid is actually blood.

  26. If some crazy bitch with a daddy complex can change hundreds of years of vampire lore by turning them into sparkly fruits, it’s not much of a stretch to have them dining on the crimson tide.

  27. EmKitt, Mucus and endometrium.
    I love that kind of dirty talk.

  28. The mucus makes it slide down the throat, or so I hear.

  29. Yum, ee,
    Has that dude with the bite on his neck got black polish one one finger, or has he been burrowing around in his girlfriend’s endometrium?

  30. My spelling and punctuation blows this afternoon ee.
    My day really sucked.

  31. Mine too! I’m half in the bag, and that’s not even helping.

  32. word, you’re making a huge assumption that that boy’s activities took place with his “girlfriend”.

  33. Can I also add, I hate the fact that neither one of your names are capitalized. Drives me nuts.

  34. Soup,you’re getting around to having a crack about that now?
    What’s the go mate, you had a bad day too?
    This morning I thought some dude on another post called me a moron, turns out not so.
    I don’t need to be harangued at the moment, I need a hug.

  35. You drive me nuts! You say your ‘Soup’, what the fuck flavor are you huh? There are just too many possibilities, it’s wrong, wrong I tell ya!

  36. word, I’d hug ya, but I’d have to jump a few continents to do so. I’m good, but not that good.

  37. Initially, I never had to start sentences with your names, so it wasn’t an issue.

    word, if I was there, I’d give you a hug. Just remember, you have fantastic boobs. This makes you better than most people.

    eenerbl, lets say I am chicken noodle. Classic, satisfying, and makes a body feel good.

  38. I’ll drive your nuts Soup if you don’t calm the waters here… into the bloody wall.

  39. Works for most Soup, but I prefer a much more classic approach. Vegetable! I get all my needed nutritions, with out your chicken!

  40. And your noodle!

  41. You don’t eat the semolina? Or even the cock? So that’s why you like word so much, you’re a vagatarian.

  42. Ok, you’ve redeemed yourself my dear Soup.
    We posted at the same time, but I must admit reaching something at the same time is always a thing I aspire to.

  43. You’ve got it all wrong my dear Soup AKA: Chicken Noodle. I love all of the above, it’s just that word get’s me. We’re like partners in crime, your just caught in the pot.

  44. @Soup/Chicken noodle

    I hope they’re rice noodles. I’m allergic to wheat.

    @word

    I’ll talk dirty to you anytime. Milky discharge.

  45. And we did it again!
    Now how often does that happen?
    Even on a great night.

  46. Hey, that’s cool. I can just hang back and watch you ladies basting in your own juices. If you need some additional spice, you can call me over.

  47. I’m trying to think what my favourite kind of Soup is.
    Probably one in a les tradie getup.
    With some of that milky discharge on top that EmKitt is talking about.

  48. word, that would be a ‘cream’ of some sort.

  49. Hey there is always ‘Cream of Chicken’, that way Soup can add some flavor.

  50. EmKitteh (notice the capitalized name), you want rice, I can do rice. Hell, give me some time to prepare, and I’ll come sake.

  51. I think me, ee, and EmKitt in a pot together, simmering away, would make for a very tasty concoction.

  52. We would simmer well my friends. It’s almost wafting in my nose. (It’s either that or my wine)

  53. word, that’s a recipe for a tasty dish. Just maintain your temperature, you wouldn’t want to boil over too soon.

  54. Get over the capitals Soup.
    Remember that ee and I are small girls, so our names fit ok.
    Can’t speak for EmKitt, but she sounds pretty cool to me.

  55. Soup, take your capitalization and shove it, your too damn picky. (Said with smiles!)

  56. I’m perfect temperature always.

  57. Ok fine, I’ll keep my language foibles to the lamebook postings, and not the commentator’s names.

  58. If you want Soup, I’ll let you give me the big W.

  59. I know I’ve seen the name Jizzelle before on Lamebook, I just didn’t know it was such a popular name.

  60. Really? Can I? You won’t take offense if I call you “Word”? If I was there with you, I’d give you the big O to celebrate my using the big W.

  61. Soup, word… You all have fun with your commentary, this gal is off to bed. As always, you both are too much.

  62. gwang (another one!), Jizzelle was on here before and loved the exposure, so I’m guessing she’s making an effort to keep being featured.

  63. Yes Soup, I’m letting you have your way with me, and I’m rarely offended by anything, so do what you must. I love you, so I’m giving you that much.
    And an O right about now sounds great by the way.
    Night ee, I gotta have some dinner anyway, all this talk of Soup has made me very hungry.

  64. YAY! Perverting someone physically, hell, we all do that all the time. But to get the nod to do it to someone’s name? Their persona? That’s love.

  65. Sorry about the lack of capitalization, Soup. I don’t normally make that a point when I choose usernames. :(

  66. gwang, you are obviously not the only one. Apparently it’s just me, but for all the grief the posts here get for grammatical and punctuation errors, capitalization of names just seems like a natural progression to me.

    It’s cool though, Wordpervert(!) is going to have trans-Pacific internet sex with me at some point. Let’s just hope she doesn’t have a problem with small p’s.

  67. The first three made me laugh :)

    Oh, and I’ll never think of chicken soup in the same way again…;)

  68. lol

  69. Soup, I’ll turn that p into a P in no time at all, just say the Word.

  70. I say the one with Angus is fake. Angus is obviously a guy’s name and he’s gettin dreamy about a guy. His friend makes a gay joke. I’m sure anyone on a gay guys friends list wouldn’t make gay jokes. Unless they were secretly not ok with them being gay up until that point lol.

    Oh and +Like Jizzelle’s joke. And name. ha

  71. RingingInMyHead

    “I’m sure anyone on a gay guys friends list wouldn’t make gay jokes.”

    I agree. We all know that being gay means you have a compete lack of humor, as well.

  72. AHAHAHAHA. who the fuck posted that on here? and fyi, angus purden is me, and im female, i stole the name off the postcode lottery advert. my boyfriend posted that on my status as a joke for me posting it on his. but still, how the fuck did it get on here?

  73. angus purden, you have a very unfortunate name. and that’s the lamest story ever.

  74. yup ;)

  75. Megon’s mom spelled Megan wrong.

  76. Angus is a GIRL! Thats just a fake name she uses as her real name is like SUPER POSH! Everyone from where we live either know her as Angus or Fran.

  77. edward doesn’t like the “dead blood” of bella’s period. duhh. XD

  78. lol Jelly’s post made me laugh more than the actually updates and photo.

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