Friday, October 8, 2010

The Twilight Saga: Keep ‘em Comin’

previous post: Putting a Spell on You

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71 Comments

  1. meh.

  2. Ok, anyone getting a twilight is an idiot! I do love the second post! The only good thing Mr. Talk dark broody and ugly has done was die in a Harry Potter movie.

  3. I am sick to death of Twilight and Justin Bieber posts. Yeah, they’re shit. We know. get over it.

  4. Hm, for once, anti-Twilighting that is not up to par, except for the last one. And that in part because of what fa1lbook has today about grammatically-correct rapping.
    However, I did get an ad come up offering ‘endless p1easure in bed.’

  5. Wordpervert’s ad is out then

  6. No. No. Don’t ‘keep ‘em coming’. They’re shit. They’re unoriginal, they’re lame, and they’re shit.

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ANYONE WHO MOCKS TWILIGHT IS NOW LAMER AND SHITTER THAN TWILIGHT ITSELF.

  7. This post has aids.

    Also, while it is the tweenage girls that are the most vocal (by which I mean shrieking) and therefore annyoing, it is the women like #1 who truly scare me.

  8. This post definitely has aids AND herpes.

  9. Lamebook does this on purpose. Sadists. They’ve seen how those commenting react to their Twilight posts (and the Bieber ones). They want the inevitable Hobo rant, and others like it. It’s good for business in their minds. It ain’t.

    Lamebook, we want some quality posts. Where are they? I know you’ve got some, so hand ‘em over. It’s a fair reward for us loyal folk.

    oldgit, I would never advertise “endless p1easure etc.” I don’t know what that is.

  10. “This post definitely has aids AND herpes.”

    It does. Quite literally, in fact.

  11. I think you’re right, all the Twilight, Bieber and purse meme posts are specifically designed to give hobo an aneurism.

  12. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    WordI think Lamebook is hoarding all the good posts for their Lamebook book, hence all the shitty second rate posts.

  13. I agree Dukey, I only chuckled once today. It just doesn’t feel right.

    word, tell me more about your pleasure. I am oh so curious!

  14. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Holy Fuck! eenerbl is back. And she is talking about endless pleasure with Word … *Head explodes*

  15. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    This is someone’s cue to ask me “Which Head?”

  16. Hobo, don’t misread me. I’m not ripping you a new one, just Lamebook. Rant to your heart’s content.

    oldgit, if that happens, I’ll nurse him back to health.

    Dukey, you’re onto something.

    ee, pleasure I will discuss. P1easure, you’ll have to check with mad2 on that one. And how the hell are you, stranger? Goddamnit, woman, I’ve missed you.

  17. Pedantic, today is ironically the day that most of the women on my facebook decided to post their stupid purse meme posts, and all the guys decided to keep commenting with winks only to be told to get their minds out of the gutter. Why is everyone on my facebook always about three days behind the rest of the world?

  18. I’m missed you too, terribly! Not to mention the giving/receiving/sharing of pleasure. It’s been way too long!

  19. I was going to post a rant on facebook about the purse meme and the pointlessness thereof, accompanying it with something along the lines of “I like it in the back alley” as an attempt to raise awareness of prostate cancer (Although that has nothing to do with boobs so no-one cares about it) But I just knew I’d get flamed for being a heartless misogynist or the like.

  20. ee, it has, and you know something else?, I check my (in)box everyday to see if you’ve come. Alas, my (in)box remains empty of you, ee. Do something about it, girl!

  21. …………………………………………

  22. I got on that today as a matter of fact! You should be seeing it soon.

  23. Nothing worse than a neglected (in)box.

  24. I care about the prostate, oldgit, believe me, I care. I see a hell of a lot of them on a weekly basis. Prostate cancer is something I (literally) get behind. I’d grow a mo in November if I could, but it’s impossible.

  25. Plus, you know how much I love your box, I just can’t abandon it? Never word, never.

  26. Thank you Wordy, nobody I’d rather have check my prostate

  27. If Lamebook expects a reaction off these twilight/beiber/crap, then I’m just gonna put that down (see status above)

    I wonder how long it takes for them to post good stuff if everyone does that on every Beiber/twilight/crap one they put up?

  28. Yay! I have been over the “twilight sucks” thing for months. Finally some people who share my feeling on the matter.

  29. saw the first one on peopleofwalmart.com. way to keep up lamebook.

  30. Wait… I just felt something… let me check… oh yeah… you’re in there… and it feels good, too, ee. Much better.

  31. I don’t know what is wrong with Facebook lately. First that purse crap, now my feed is getting flooded by reposted statuses about dead babies and a “Click like if you’ve lost a loved one” group. Like? Really? I’m supposed to ‘like’ having lost a loved one? Is it morbid month in the social networking world or something?

  32. oldgit, three words I live by on Facebook…

    BLOCK FROM FEED

  33. I aim to please ;)

  34. Yeah but that means hiding the person completely. And I like these people (most of the time)

  35. People who rant about the people who mock Twilight are lamer and shittier than the ones doing the mocking. You sound like a bitchy 14 year old girl who thinks EVERYTHING sucks. Wow…time to grow up.

  36. Well you’ll just have to put up with their crap if that’s the case. Me, I am merciless. I don’t care about shit like that. I know most of the people on my list in life, anyway. I’ll talk to them in person. I have it for one purpose, and one purpose only – to stay in touch with someone in the UK. Well, it’s one of the tools we use, but it’s the least used one, actually. Good for photos, though.

  37. A rant about ranting – seems a bit hypocritical no?

  38. the first one is from peopleofwalmart.com

  39. Oh, and I play Scrabble to satisfy the inner dork.

  40. A rant about ranting about ranting. Yawn.

  41. That was aimed at #35, by the way.

  42. Looks like you have yet another stalker Hobo

  43. You can’t ever have enough stalkers. SPeaking of which, haven’t seen anonisgayisgay around lately.

  44. What I would like to see is Bieber in the next Twilight movie. This way, we can get the two crowds together to consolidate rants, and Hobo can consolidate rants about rants.

  45. Yes, where is he? I know he pisses most people off, but sometimes, he says something highly amusing. Well, I think so. Hey, I can be amused by the smallest things.

  46. Did someone just call Hobo a douche?

  47. Hobo ends rant, gallops off while clip-clopping coconuts.

  48. your stalkers are here …. watching

  49. June, I didn’t mean to call hobo a douche, if that’s what you meant.

  50. anoniswank

  51. mad2, don’t lie. We’ve all been thinking it. Hell, junebug has been signaling that rally cry for days now. Embrace your Hobo hate.

  52. Is that Ricky Gervais?

  53. Soup, I like to try inciting mob reactions. It’s just a little hobby of mine.

  54. I am so annoyed by Twilight I can’t even derive pleasure from mocking it.

  55. It’s true that the anti-Twilight thing is a little old, but think of this. Whoever fucks that woman probably has to see those eyes staring at them while they do it so she doesn’t have to face them and can imagine that it’s her precious Edward with his dead cock. *shudders*

  56. That woman with the tattoo might be a man.

  57. Looking at the tattoo alone- and forgeting that it’s Twilight- it’s pretty well done. You can tell just by those eyes who they belong to. It’s a good tattooist, Can somebody give me his/her number, seriously.

    The second and third are not funny, or rather they are not smart.

  58. honestly in my opinion twilight and justin bieber are tha shit,, but thats only cause Im a little 14y.o. teeny bopper….LOL

  59. junebug, did somebody just call me a douche?

  60. Douche, did someone just calle junebug a Hobo?

  61. OK my first and last post. Fuck this. I will go back to surfing craigslist for crazy posts. Less time consuming and no password. And I doubt that BritishHobo is a hoboe. Have fun!

  62. But he is an oboe

  63. Buzz, thank you so much. We are deeply honoured that you were able and willing to take time out of your busy schedule of wasting time looking at nonsense on the internet to tell us that you are going to look at nonsense elsewhere. If there is anything we can ever do for you I am sure that everyone here is in your debt.

    Pedant, I thought Hobo claims to be female (and by the rules of the internet is therefore a 40-year old creepy male)?

  64. I’m whatever you want me to be.

    Unless you want me to be female.

  65. dan_fargis_is_a_fag

    I know I’m late to this party, but I can’t believe that among all of the bitching and moaning about Twilight blasts being old, nobody caught the true brilliance o the first post?? What appears to be a middle-aged mom pushing her toddler in her cart at a Wal-Mart checkout looking at fucking Kool-Aid to put in the aforementioned toddler’s sippy cup?!?! After spending $200 on her fucking retarded tattoo, she can only afford Kool-Aid for her kid! Unbelievable, yet totally believable, since it’s probably some lady in TN or AL. I thought it was perfect.

  66. Why did I just get a mental image of Hobo dancing around naked with his twig and berries tucked between his legs a la Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs?

    Because my brain hates me. That’s why.

  67. Fargis_fäg, she might not have actually purchased kool aid. For all you know she was staring at it in utter disgust, thinking ‘How can those women in TN and AL put this shíte in their babies?’ Though I realize
    Sorry for mixing up your gender Hobo. Clearly, I’m an idiot.
    Although you said we could make you whatever we wished, just not female. Can we make you a hermaphrodite then? How about ‘one op away’ from female?

  68. Phew, was getting worried for a moment. thought I’d developed my first ever lady crush.

  69. Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Fucking Twilight Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Douche Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Hobo Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant.

    Can we have some Bieber lamebook? I miss them funnies the most.

  70. All of this is so much meh. The lot of you are lame.

  71. BrassPioneer; Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to comment on the lamesness of our posts. Your letter has been passed to one of our customer service representatives who will be contacting you shortly.

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