Friday, August 27, 2010

The Terrible Type

previous post: Keepin’ It in the Family

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45 Comments

  1. Shana makes my soul hurt

  2. Charlotte Sometimes

    maybe they got your order wrong, shana, because you talk like a fucktard.

  3. Tony … no, I don’t. If I did I’d be working there myself and I have never even driven past a building that has a culinary arts program.

  4. I always wanted to be a better farter than my dad, but I just wasn’t in the same league as him after he’d had a skinful of Guinness

  5. What the fahk is an mp3dr? Am I just getting old?

  6. @GrahamD

    I believe he means “order”, but then I could just be one of those dumb Mexicans.

  7. I get tired of these typo entries, mainly because I think a lot of them are so outlandish/the letters are spaced so far apart on the keyboard it has to be intentional.

  8. Charlotte Sometimes

    I still can’t figure out what John was trying to say.

  9. Cool weather is always nicer when you’re whoring. Nothing sucks more than standing in the heat waiting.

  10. But they are not technically typo’s, they genuinely think they are spelling correctly. Usually they are spelling the word as it sounds. Though the thongs one is a typo. Well, lets hope so.

  11. @ Charlotte. I think he’s trying to say the heat has worn his body out.

  12. These are whoreable. lol

  13. @Catherine Sometimes

    John is trying to say. “Cooler weather today, feels much better on my wore out body”

    In other words, he is worn out and the cooler weather is refreshing.

  14. Charlotte Sometimes

    ah okay i see it now, i was reading it wrong. thanks guys.
    also, RImau… where’d you get Catherine from? haha.

  15. Shana is a fucktard who can’t spell… wright, right, write?

    Also, being the best farter is really something to strive for. My hats off to Eadmund. Is that his real name?

  16. OK true story;

    As a child of 12 or 13 I had the most amazing ability to suck air into my bowels by loosening my sphincter(no gay jokes please… nm i forgot who I’m talking to. have at it) and ripping the most incredibly long and loud farts. My 20 year old brother was jealous and at the same time proud of this talent.

    He was so proud that he bragged about it our surfer bros one day in the locker room on the pier. The didn’t believe him for one moment. Of course I was not about to blow the house down in front of that crowd. I knew I would either be verbally beaten to death or named their king. Being 12 or 13 (still can’t remember), I was sure that it would be the latter.

    Well the peer pressure started to mount. Capitulated by the biggest douche in the group until I could no longer resist. Being in the locker room we were, of course, naked. I bent my naked ass over, sucked in a big ass breath, held it for a minute to build up the pressure and LETTER RIP!

    Much to my surprise I felt a small, pebble sized, turd fly from my rectal launch tube at high velocity. It flew across the room and ended it’s journey with a loud smack. Being faced in the opposite direction I assumed that it had hit the wall across the room. I turned to face the raucous laughter that was filling the locker room preparing to take a bow for my feat. Only to find that they were not laughing at my accomplishment but rather that the unfortunate loud mouth punk who was standing there with a small turd stuck directly between his eyes.

    After what he deemed was a deserved pummeling, I was forever known to the group as Ass Canon.

  17. Sideshow…thank you. You’ve made my night.

  18. @sideshow….omg..and you didn’t select ass canon as your internet name? LOL What a story.

  19. @helpimalive those types of typos (like mixing up mp3dr and order) are common when using the t3 function on a cell phone that doesn’t have a qwerty keyboard. A lot of times the program will plug in the wrong word, and many people hit send without proofing.

  20. OMG sideshow, funniest story ever

  21. I’m sorry but maybe I am not up to date with the new shortened lingo but what the hell is a “mp3dr”? Someone couldn’t have spelled order that poorly could they?

  22. sideshow… that was awesome!

  23. sideshow stole the post, that story is sooooo much better than the posts up top!

  24. sideshow, that is increible.

  25. Ass Cannon ftw

  26. Vaders Scarred Face

    re: shana’s “mp3dr”, if ya notice she updated by phone, looks like a case of mobile phone knows better than it’s owner with auto-correcting the spelling.

  27. grate highjack, sideshow. Normally, with something that long, I’d say “tl;dr,” but you right very well.

  28. Who's That Girl?

    Sideshow FTW! Hell yeah!

  29. I second sideshow having his username as Ass Cannon from now on – awesome story :D

    Come on, Lamebook. That guy’s point was that he doesn’t care how smart your honor student kid is, his brainless jock marine son could kick their ass. He doesn’t give a shit about spelling mistakes, he’ll just punch you in the face. He’s awesome. Right?

  30. dirtylittlepretty

    who graduates from culinary school, and refers to themself as a ‘cook’ ..or cock

  31. Ass Cannon, love that story.

    And I agree, dirtylittlepretty. Culinary school is supposed to turn you into a chef, not a cock. Then again, Gordon Ramsey is both.

  32. Keep the votes coming and I will consider it.

  33. sideshow, you’re a star. :D

  34. @sideshow..you must change your name!

  35. Votes for sideshow’s name change

  36. dirtylittlepretty

    maybe a combo of the two names sideshow?? ass-show?

    sounds like a have a lisp
    lol

    love and kisses, dirtylittlepretty

  37. Hilarious. Ass-show is my stage name.

    Smooches!

  38. I like ass-show better than side-canon.

  39. @ Charlotte sometimes. Catherine came via mail order. It took me three items to persuade the courier that I had ordered a Charlotte and not a catherine. Seriously, how hard is it to deliver a package?!

  40. I’m quick today. I just realized that #1 was the “best farter in the world”. Geez….and now ass canon’s story makes so much more sense. Yes, I am embarassed.

  41. I vote for Ass Cannon Sideshow or Sideshow Ass Cannon.

  42. Sadly, Savannah shouldn’t count on it.

  43. The other day I saw a licence plate that said “HONERS”. I’m still worried it was supposed to say “honors”.

  44. I’m confused about the not letting whomever beat him… unless farter was not a typo, in which case it’s an odd homage to his dad.

  45. FlapjacksAreAmazing

    @Milo, he meant “father”

    And I actually thought he meant that his dad farts better than him and he wanted to surpass his dad as a windbreaker par excellence.

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