Thursday, November 18, 2010

The South Rose Again

previous post: Zing!

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80 Comments

  1. I get to comment on a racist post first sweet! Btw the south will never rise again!

  2. Just goes to show you…. er, I’m not exactly sure what. In any case, I like to thing they are all dumbasses.

  3. * think. Apparently so am I >_<

  4. Shit, this was everything I hoped it would be. Rednecks always make me feel better about myself. Takes it in the ass by a china man? That is gold. Though Joshua kind of fails for even getting into an argument with these people. Do you really need to tout your two degrees when you’re dealing with rednecks? It’s like bragging about your doctorate to kindergarteners. It kind of makes you look dumb.

  5. Also, Missouri is not the South. Don’t taint the rest of us Southerners with this redneckery (where possible).

  6. Very true, lame. I am a southerner as well, and I get very upset when people assume I am a backwoods hick. I even had a guy ask me if we had running water down here once. Another asked me if everyone rides on horses.

  7. I have a problem with the name Rebel for a baby.

    Can I message them and speak my mind?

    I was actually thinking of buying a hedgehog and I heard that they were illegal in most places, so I was going to name him Danger. However, Rebel sounds like a much better name for an adopted illegal Hedgehog.

    Must. find. one. now.

  8. and the point is.. you can have two asses and still be the dumb degreedo-didn’t-shoot-first.. imma_rebel, see? see??

  9. Holy moly.

  10. HA! Joshua is so lame! take it up the ass by a china man! Got his doctorer in masturbation…don’t know nothin bout no heritage, yur heritage is almost as important as dale earnheart.

  11. Ya know, I was with Josh until the ‘I’ll have two degrees and a doctorate someday so I’m better than you’ thing. Even though Josh may indeed be better than her, why does he feel the need to throw it around? Being an ignorant redneck isn’t cool. Nor is being a pompous elitist. Especially when you can’t back it up with the credentials. Watch out Josh, life has a way of knocking you off a high horse.

  12. agreed. josh had me until the talk of degrees. like the people he’s arguing with even CARE that he has degrees. and all that stuff about her interests and shit. lots of people like those things (aside from NASCAR) who aren’t racist hicks, so what does that do for your argument?

    he may not be a racist, but he’s definitely not as smart as he thinks he is.

  13. Douchebaggery all around! I have been to Missouri…this does not surprise me. My aunt and uncle moved there from LA…I will never fully understand that choice. But we go visit every summer. I think you can count the total amount of teeth in that state with only your fingers and a couple of toes.

  14. @Shinsplints I think his argument may have been the double camping. Maybe? Or maybe it was the exclusion of “The Great literatures of Shakespeare and T.H. White”.

  15. You mean everyone who isn’t pursuing a doctorate and analysing 12th century poetry while sipping on finely cultured vino from southern france isn’t a racist? That just can’t be true Blonde and shin.

  16. No, I swear it is. Scientific fact. There have been sooooo many studies on this shit it’s crazy. You would be amazed that like 99.99999% Of America and the rest of the world is racist by these standards.

  17. slicingupeyeballs

    Yep, Joshua is a pompous twat.
    I’m with Uncle Terry, ‘shut yur mouth, terd’…

  18. Being elitist is cool (guess what, some people are better than others at reasoning and running things). Being a redneck isn’t. That said, claiming ‘I’ll have a doctorate in a few years?’ WTF is that? How does he know it’ll happen? Count the damn degrees you have, you never know what will happen to the others. Plus, don’t make ad hominem(?) attacks OR defenses, just debate the topic.
    And, I’ve known plenty of people with degrees who are stupid. So his argument is hardly valid.
    Finally, I have to say I was against Josh when I started reading, because I hoped the flag and name were being used to make a protest in favour of state’s rights. But then that ‘family’ decided to make asses of themselves and I began to strongly agree with Josh’s decision to begin this. Now I want to find out who this is just so I can troll them with ‘I’ve got seven ph.D.s and a boyfriend and I think the South sucks!!111!1!’ and watch hilarity ensue.

  19. @mad2
    On a serious note, I’ve lived in the south for many years. Most are not rebels or racists or even dumb (well all that dumb) but whenever an elitist or someone comes in calling them all rednecks and racists; rather then downplay it, southerners tend to get angry and defensive and will attempt to act more stereotypically redneck almost as a challenge. I’m sure Kara and fam are actually decent people, maybe a little too proud of being ‘rebels’ but probably good people. Being elitist is cool until you act elitist in front of a group of people who can and will beat the shit out of you, once you are stomped into the ground, it may not seem as ‘cool’ mad. Elitists are just as bad as any redneck, they are two sides of the same coin.

  20. With a Rebel yell she cried more more more!

  21. @20 lmao.
    Also..how do you run gums?

  22. That. Was. AWESOME! I wish I could see Joshua’s picture, because I’ve never looked at someone at thought…that guy probably takes it in the as by a china man…but these people are very astute. They know it when they see it.

  23. *ass

  24. Seriously? They named their kid Rebel? Honest to God I’m going to be elected president someday solely on the platform that I will institute naming committees at hospitals that have to approve your kid’s dumbass name before you leave.

  25. That family pissed me the fuc* off. Pretentious as Joshua is, those people make me so mad he pales in comparison. At least he stopped “running his gums” midway through the post, unlike the other flea-bitten jackasses

  26. Jon, being elite is cool, regardless of the consequences. But part of being elite is knowing that if you’re going to be in a situation where you might get jumped by a bunch of inbreds, you should bring backup, or at least a weapon. But Josh appears quite safe on the other end of the internet.
    Nevertheless, your argument assumes that ‘coolness’ equates to ‘won’t get you beat up by backwards rednecks,’ and I don’t buy this assumption. It is like saying ‘not killing Jews won’t seem as cool when you get beat up by näzis.’ If there are enough evil people around you, you can get beat up for doing the right thing.
    I never said this family is comprised of racists. They are stupid and hilarious, however. I actually strongly support the right of states to secede (I’d like to toss Texas out of the union in fact), so I was not censuring their ‘rebel’ attitude, but rather the incredible lack of eloquence and intelligence with which they express that attitude.

  27. HAHH!! my DOG is named Rebel!! what looneys!

  28. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Robert Rodriguez has a kid named Rebel. And another one named Racer and another weird one too. The name Rebel is not really “original” anymore.

  29. I’m with the Rebels on this one but Justin, the chinaman is not the issue here, dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, dude. Across this line, you do not… Also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

  30. mad2, you know plenty of stupid people with degrees, huh? No way! I didn’t think that was possible. Well, a fool could see just how much I adore you.

  31. @29
    I think it’s actually chinaman-american, or in the plural chinamen-americans. yellow or smalldick (one word) is also acceptable in todays society.

  32. Terd?! Wow.

  33. What are the odds these doped are Juggalos too?

  34. I live in the South and have to agree that not all are redneck inbreds, or idiots for that matter. The only problem is, the ones that I know that seem to be “decent” are ones that I find out support the rebel flag, and spout racial slurs. Sure, it may be that they spout them rarely, but they say it with such seriousness and hate that I can’t help but know they aren’t “decent.”

    Anyone who names their kid Rebel, and wraps it up on a Rebel flag, is just trashy. Maybe they aren’t racists, but they aren’t doing any good for the stereotype either. Thanks fucktards, for making us look that much worse, especially with our kids!

  35. At some point in the not too distant future, Kara will weigh 250+ lbs, will be wearing a muumuu, and will be interviewed on her local newscast in order to tell the reporter what the tornado sounded like as it whipped through her trailer park.

    I live in the South, too. Rednecks suck.

  36. Yet more proof that idiots aren’t very good at knowing they’re idiots. On the other hand, Joshua has all that education under his belt and still somehow thinks that “your interest include” is a grammatically correct phrase. Whatever.

    I’m a yankee transplant in the south and I have met plenty of natives here who are brilliant AND have virtually no trace of an accent (mostly just in the cities though). I’ve definitely met my share of dumbasses too though, but that’s pretty much universal no matter where you go. My home state of Connecticut supposedly has the highest average IQ of any U.S. state, but try telling that to anyone who has dealt with any hillbilly from the backwoods of Tolland County or a ghetto thug from the north side of Hartford; you’ll almost start to wonder if functional illiteracy isn’t becoming the latest fad.

    Is Missouri really the south? It would seem that the northern reaches (as well as St. Lou and KC) identify more with the midwest (judging from the nasally twang they talk with, anyway). Maybe Kara and her little clan are from the Ozarks.

  37. YEE HAW!!

    I gone read dis whole post in a soufrn accent. Was like having tators furr breakfast.

    haha great stuff

  38. @Keona 21 – I dunno if someone else said this first – I was too lazy to look – but I imagine people say “runnin’ yer gums” because they have no teeth? Okay that was a cheap shot but… yeah.

    And WTF kinda name is Rebel for a kid? Generally speaking, yeah ok they MAY be decent people, but the kid’s name alone (along with the use of the Confederate flag in their pics) suggests otherwise.

    My ex is from Wisconsin and would give me shit for being from “the state that couldn’t choose a side” (Maryland) and I don’t feel like we act like or sound like typical Southerners (well, a lot of people here are pretty fucking ignorant and retarded, but, well that’s anywhere really now…doesn’t matter where you go). My current bf is originally from South Carolina and is planning to move back there at some point in the future. He’s brought up the idea of me going with him and…I just don’t know. I have much more contemplating to do. lol

  39. I have more problems with pride than I do with the name Rebel or that flag.

    (And thank you for quoting that line, Mr. Sobchak. I hear it every time I see “china man,” who isn’t the issue here, but he does like elitist ass.)

    I agree with mad2; elitists are fine and necessary. But acting like a pompous git and listing your credentials is a sure way to appear like you take it in the ass from the lesser races. Build the railroad, indeed.

    I always feel like an arrogant elitist dick when someone mentions an affinity for Nascar. Anytime I hear someone yell, “The south’s gone do it again!” my response is, “You mean you’re going to beat up a buncha colored folk ’cause you’re too lazy to do a job? If your kind hates them blacks so much, how come you spent so much time puttin’ your dicks in ‘em?”

    I have lots of good southern experience. White trash is a favorite. (Although toothless blow jobs are not all that you’d expect them to be. Makes my peenie feel like chunky mashed potatoes.)

  40. Wait, we’re back to toofless blowjobs already? o.O I’ll sit out for this one…

  41. @fletch, that last line in the last paragraph almost made me retch. Unintentional rhyme. I shouldn’t have read that. But, I agree with your whole comment.

  42. I lived in the northern part of the Ozarks (central Missouri) until 12, then moved to Kansas City and my family is still there – though I am in London now. Missouri is a border state. I would consider the bottom third of the state to identify as southern, the top two thirds as rural but more midwestern with a slight hint of southern which fades the farther north one goes. The two cities are less conservative than the rural areas, but still more conservative than any of your midwestern college towns because of large blue-collar populations.

    Missouri sided with the ‘slave’ states in the civil war – and there were fierce battles between Missouri and Kansas ne’er-do-wells because Kansas was an anti-slave (or ‘free’) state. If I had to guess, this ‘rebel’ identification by these idiotic Missourians goes back all the way to that time…

    I feel for Josh, but his inferiority complex is showing.

  43. Hillbillies are effing hilarious.
    None of my friends in the North believe me when I tell them our old neighbors had a black dog named Niggy. Or that the wife was banned from WalMart for giving a relative a beat down there.
    You can’t make that kind of humor up!!
    Banned. From. WalMart.
    Who the eff gets banned from there?????

  44. We have our own version of rednecks in the UK, we call them Welsh.

  45. Gross.
    Hey mad2, where’s your alter ego?

  46. Oh, good Lord… This reminds me of one time when I got lost in the Georgia boonies and ended up in front of a house where the ENTIRE roof was a Confederate flag with a matching pickup truck on a couple blocks out front.

  47. Wow! Real-life rednecks!! Like out of that Deliverance film, but real-life ones. Any chance someone in America could try and catch one of these so we can study it up close?

    Walter- We’re not talking about a guy who built the fuckin railroads here.

  48. Not in Namm of course.

  49. personally, i think joshua is getting off a bit too lightly here in the comments section. he repeatedly stereotypes white southern americans, whilst accusing them of racism on the sole basis that they choose to display a flag of disputed symbolism. then, without prompting, he decides to parade his qualifications as if a degree from the esteemed seat of learning that is the university of nebraska was something worth boasting about. i think that kara actually displays considerable maturity and composure in handling the situation. rednecks 1, joshua 0.

  50. Just another example of some twat (Joshua) thinking he’s better than a whole group of people and spreading hate.

  51. LOL love how they try to defend themselves by saying tey aren’t racist and thats its “heritage” (pff), then the last guy gives a fankly insane homophobic, racist insult!

  52. Whoa. I’ve lived in southwestern Missouri (the Ozarks) my entire life, and I thankfully have all of my teeth, am not a fan of nascar, I do not live in a trailer, nor do I own a rebel flag, BUT I do hunt, fish and say “ya’ll”. Now if that makes me some backwoods redneck, then so be it. I would rather be considered a good time lovin’ redneck, than feel the need to put everyone else down to make myself feel better.

  53. I don’t prejudice against anyone, except the gay Chinese community…but then, that’s a given

  54. I was born and raised in Louisiana, that’s as south as it gets :) But I would never wear a rebel flag or display it (not that I would want to anyway), because I know it means something full of hate to a lot of people. So for a whole family to jump down his throat over something he’s offended by is ridiculous. Just goes to prove they really are racists. They give southerners a bad name.

  55. vaginalroundhouse

    For Joshua, wow you have two degrees. This means you cannot hack it in the real world. Stay in college your comfort zone cause that real world will tear you apart.

    As for the hicks, it’s not a surprise. Their heritage is all inbred so there isn’t much to branch out to. The family tree closely resembles the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

    San Dimas High School Football Rules!!!

  56. heartofgold……that’s great!! There should be more people like you!! I would never laugh at or make fun of a kind hearted, fun hillbilly.

    I will make fun of my toothless, obese, and badly aged neighbor who was worried my boyfriend and I were swingers. I will be disgusted by her proud display of the Confederate flag. And I will be offended by her frequent use of the N word.

    Don’t they know?? The North won.

  57. hahahahaa

    docterin in Masterbation

    and he misspelled turd. Awesomeness.

    Man, do I feel better about myself.

  58. The last time i wrapped a baby in a flag was when i buried my 8th son at sea.

    It was actually a carrier bag…and a lake…ok a pond….look, I left it in a muddy piss filled puddle outside a hospital alright!?

  59. sexclamationpoint56

    wtf is wrong with these redneck douches constantly pretending that they proud of their heritage but they are “not” racist. how stupid can u b? if ur celebrating ur heritage and the people who started that heritage were a bunch of racist pricks then how is that not racist?

  60. With that argument, sexclam, anyone who celebrates heritage as an American is racist. I bet you could find some contemporaneous accounts that all the founding fathers were racist pricks. (Except Ben Franklin. He rules.)

  61. I’m sad to see that little Rebel’s face isn’t blurred out.

  62. What I find hilarious about this whole post is:

    1.) I have two degrees also. I’ll be a CPA soon (which is harder to obtain than a doctorate in my opinion). Joshua can kiss my ass.

    2.) I was born and raised and still live in Texas. I’m not sure I like you Mad, but I’m all for secession and states’ rights.

    3.) I do own a Rebel flag. I also own a Texas flag. They both mean the same thing to me: pride, NOT RACISM. Pride in the South and pride in Texas. I don’t go sporting the Rebel flag or my degrees in front of those I figure would get offended. I see it as a way to honor those who believed so deeply in their rights and those of their individual states that they fought their own families and died for what they believed in (slavery was not the only or even the first issue that led to the Civil War).

    4.) I also say “ya’ll”; that’s the way we write it so deal with it.

    5.) The pride I spoke of in #3 does not mean I’m proud of the people in the above post. See #6.

    6.) I think all of the commentors on the above post need a reality check and a swift kick…

    7.) Is Missouri in the South? Let me get my atlas :) .

    That is all.

  63. As much as it goes against my morals, I feel like I should stick up for Missouri here. It really is an entirely different place depending on what part of MO you are in. I’ve lived in the KC area my entire life, mind you the Kansas side, and until I went to college I had never met any “rednecks” from Kansas or Missouri. There are disappointing parts of every state, and just because it happens to be most of Missouri, that doesn’t mean the ENTIRE state needs to have that reputation. BTW: I’ve lived in KS all my life, and speak perfectly twang-free thank you very much.

  64. sexclamationpoint56

    true everyone was rasict back then, im just saying the rebel flag does seemingly represent the continuation of slavery in the south no matter what else it represents imo. cuz that was a big part of what they were fighting for. i am from louisiana but i personally just dont think that’s something u wanna represent. people just wanted free labor so they could make more money and the govt was changing the laws and the southern states didn’t want that becuz they’d make less money so it seemed to me that was the main reason they would fight. idk im just sayin my 2 cents

  65. @42 I liked your story telling little blurb there at the end. I don’t know why, I just had kinda wished there was more. I think I’m in a story mood.

  66. PS For everyone asking if Missouri is in the South, they’re qualifying it as a southern state even though it’s more middle America because of the stance they took in the Civil war. So check your maps and when you’re done with that feel free to check a history book.

  67. The Confederate flag is racist because I say it is!

    We should also refer to all Buddhists and Hindus who use the Swastika as anti-Semites because some crazy racist German decided to, also!

    These people live in Missouri, so they must be totally racist!

  68. I love this one. Right when you see the profile pic you know it’s going to be good. What a bunch of ignorant bastards. You can almost smell the smoke when Kara’s trying to figure out if Joshua is being ironic or not. And when the family jumps in it gets even better. On the other hand, I really can’t stand it when people start bragging about their education level. I can’t really pick a side here.

    I slogged through all the comments because I fully expected Kara and perhaps the rest of her branchless family tree to show up and try to defend themselves. Sadly, that has not happened… but I will have to check back in a few days.

    I do really feel sorry for the kid. With a name like that, he hasn’t got a chance.

  69. Just saying, last time I was in the great state of Missouri (at the lake of the Ozarks) I was talking to a good number of people who were shocked and disgusted that I attended school with mexicans in back home in CA…I didn’t have the heart to tell them about the black kids at my school.

  70. I live in the South, born and raised. But there is a difference between having been born in the south, being a southerner, and being a redneck. A redneck is an extreme case of southern stupidity.

    These people seem to be southerners. The ignorance and abundance of rebel flags and no respect for what kind of shit this child will have to go through growing up can attest to that.

    Also, I’m willing to bet money that a relative is the father.

  71. @blondebimbo
    The Ozarks are also where people say “warter” and “warsh”. This does not represent Missouri as a whole. (Which, as far as I can tell, only a fraction of Missouri also calls it “Missoura”.)

    I just find it funny that people here are condemning an entire state for what a small fraction of the population believes! I know somebody from one country that steals, does that mean everybody that is from that country steals? I know somebody in Missouri that is racist, does that mean everybody in Missouri is racist? I bet, pretty highly, that there are racists in every state. And I’m going to start judging each state by those racists.

  72. @blondebimbo (wow your name really does say alot, not something to be proud of) I don’t know how often you’ve been to Missouri, but we have plenty of Mexicans and “black people” here, and I highly doubt that anyone was “shocked and disgusted” that you went to school with Mexicans. That is just dumb. Just please, PLEASE stay in CA, we sure as hell don’t need anymore bimbos or your opinion…

  73. As a woman who has borne a China man’s son, getting plowed by that there them China man is a whole lot of fun y’all!

    No but seriously, my husband is fantastic in bed and my son is adorable. And I’m from Coastal Georgia.

    And Hobo is still John Cleese. And why do the Brits hate the Welsh?

  74. two degrees and a doctorate? What an elitist prick. He can take those degrees and shove them up his ass because he’s still an insolent, prejudiced know-nothing. Education doesn’t do anything for a person if their character is shit to begin with.
    This post shows these “rednecks” responding to an unprovoked insult and defending their family and their lifestyle. I find that’s something to respect them for.

  75. I’ve read this post over and over and still can’t find any references to racism other than by Josh. The rebel flag doesn’t stand for racism… Like Justin said, “heritage not hate”. The flag is about a lifestyle that’s scorned by most Americans now, because they think it’s all about the Jim Crow laws. Brush up on your history…

  76. @latte – “warter” and “warsh” are also typical pronunciations in the so-called “Maryland” or, more specifically, “Hampden” accents. I’m so glad I’m from the inner city of Baltimore (which is more…umm let’s just say “ghetto” but it beats white trash imo) and not any surrounding county, because I can’t STAND the accent myself. :/

    And @Maggie, I’ve also wondered for YEARS why British people hate the Welsh so much.

  77. @Paranoid Android – Wow, you’re a d**k. But even worse than you are those 2 idiots @Maggie and @Shelley who think Wales and Britain are different countries!! Wales is IN Britain, so I don’t think you mean the Brits hate the Welsh, but the English. Technically the Welsh are British. Besides, that’s not entirely true. I’m Welsh, temporarily living in England. As far as I know nobody hates me because I am Welsh. Most English people I speak to don’t even realise there’s a whole ‘the English hate the Welsh’ thing. I think it’s 1. an old rivalry thing, and 2. some stuck-up, ignorant English people who think they’re better than everyone else.

  78. @lolatyou I’m English, and I don’t hate the Welsh – I just mock you for shagging sheep. To the other ignorant idiots on here, England and Wales are two different countries. We English only hate the French, and we mock every other country and stand back and yell “BRING IT ON!!”. Seriously. I was born in CT, and when someone started calling Americans fat, I (agreeing with him but needing to defend myself none the less) began mocking him for being Scottish, watched as he stood back and yelled “BRING IT ON!”. And back to the points of this picture, what kind of inbred racist retard names their baby Rebel, then takes pictures of him/her with Conferderate flags, and defends this decision? Even over here, while mocking the world, stop at the point where it starts getting racist. These people are stuck in the past with something that happened hundreds of years ago and are incapable of constructing a setence, let alone having correct grammar, and don’t seem to understand how to not offend people.

  79. Note to self: never go to The South. Pity about the few decent people there.

  80. Love how some (especially basswave64) are saying they can’t see any racism in this family even after Justin’s “takes it in the ass by a china man” comment. Justin shows his homophobia and racism in as few words as I’ve seen. Did I say “homophobia and racism”? I meant “heritage.”

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