Friday, July 17, 2009

The Real World Would Like to Welcome You

The Real World

The Real World

previous post: Polute the Earth?



  1. this is embarrassing.

  2. yes, cuz we all know that stoners are such hyper violent individuals…
    i’m guessing this person also has a “win with Jesus” bumper sticker on their car

  3. I’m still baffled. So this does really happen?

    Where were these strangers offering free weed to kids *scratches out* ADULTS when I was growing up? Oh my goodness. The money I would have saved.

  4. nerds seems a little old-fashioned a term, but these nerds need to get high.

  5. I usually “get up on” people when they don’t smoke with me.

  6. Jeffrey is a 1st class Gimp.

  7. the only violent thing ive seen a stoner do is trip himself.

  8. He’s in college?!

    The whole time I was reading that I thought he was probably about 12 years oldl….

    Woww. Who goes and writes a facebook note about that? “OMG someone offered me weed!! I can’t believe it!! I thought weed was only a myth!!!!”

  9. How the fuck do people like this still exist? I mean I could understand if this was a ten year old or something, but a person in college? Seriously….

  10. I understand not wanting to try pot, I mean the tar is pretty bad for your lungs, but come on. Oh an I remember freshmen like that… by second semester he’s going to be doing keg stands while snorting lines of coke off the ass of the token fat guy in the frat he is pledging.

  11. DORK

  12. where is this child from? I’m going to say Mormanville.

  13. Mormon has an “o” in it

  14. LMAO @ “he bought it”. This guy has been watching reefer madness wayyyyyyyy too much. LOOK OUT, STONERS ARE KILLERS!

  15. I’m gonna shank your pants off.

  16. Hey now, I live in Mormonville and I can say they aren’t many of us who are retarded like this. I’m sorry but this kid needs to grow the hell up…

  17. Are these people for real?

  18. grow up and switch to cocaine

  19. I can’t remember a time in my life when any of my friends or people I knew who smoked weed were the type to SHANK people for not doing it with them. They were always cool people, very laid back and probably too tired or hungry to bother shanking anyone. WTF is up with these college kids? Are they just rich fucks who never left the sweet little neighborhood they lived in? Or were they locked in church all their lives?

  20. LOL @ Vandal

  21. Leave it to straight edge people to take their own paranoia to give stoners a bad name. All I have to say to them is don’t knock it till you’ve tried it

  22. Man I bet that guy offering weed was hoping to get lucky…would have been way funnier if he would have hit on him after.

  23. *sigh* This is pretty pathetic–sounds like this little boy has been brainwashed by DARE or some other program that has been proven not to work.

    I have yet to meet a stoner who is less than a brilliant human being (albeit jaded, but wonderful).

  24. These kids are retarded. I have been drinking and smoking weed since I was 14 and I have a 160 IQ and have published two articles in respectable journals.

    We need to fix the way drug awareness is taught. It should just be “Don’t do heroin more than once and limit yourself on coke and ecstasy.”

  25. Born Again’s…

    I can smell them a mile away!

    That poor guy was just trying to be friendly!

  26. What the hell is this ‘Asian glow’ Alice refers to?

  27. yes. he definitely would have been shanked, or possibly the man could’ve ‘get [gotten] up on him’.

    lamebook worthy.

  28. This post makes me want to pack a bowl, stand in a random parking lot and heckle straight-edge kids.

  29. I love that he had never been offered weed before and the “he bought it” was genius as if he had tricked the guy.

  30. Why are the words “weed” and “drugs in college” capitalized? Does the guy think they’re deities or something?

  31. umm…so..he’s around 19 right??

    sounds like a 12 yr old

  32. who wants cake?

    ok is this a 20 yr old guy being offered weed or a 13 yr old girl getting hit on my a grown man? “oh my goodness…if i scream no…” wtf.

    “shanked” haha.

  33. Uber-Christian schools still exist?

    What if the guy asked you to hold hands next? Wobbling away, intoxicated by the weed.

  34. I can’t tell u how many nerds I’ve gotten up on and shanked for not partaking in my free WEED. This man did the right thing, if he had stepped outside the fine line he would have crossed the border into Shanktown. Population: Nerd.

  35. Guy 1: Hey I have this joint you want some?
    Guy 2: No thanks.
    Guy 1:*stab*
    Guy 2: WTF?!?!?!

  36. laughing Hysterically

    ahahahaha wow I cannot believe this. This should be fucking Lamester of the day!

  37. “chances are, your drink will be spiked”

    its college.

  38. i kinda wanna punch this guy in the face

  39. i kinda wanna shank this guy in the face.

  40. Clever’s parents certainly didn’t do much to back up that name choice.

  41. What the hell!?!? “what does “shank” mean” and ” I think shank means to pants someone” that is scary that some people are that inoccent.

  42. Hahahaha! What a spastic! My favourite bit was “he bought it”….bought what?! The truth?! It’s not that hard! Oh my goddd what a retard. Just. Say. Yes.

  43. retard.

  44. Cheers to LuckyJew and Alex :)

  45. I’d just like to ask (Alice) WTF are “asian glow pictures”?

  46. im like aaahh…so like… i’m trying to say like…ive seen some like..trashy sober people like I just wobbly like think like….. i don’t know!!!!


  48. im gonna find this guy, spike his church groups brownies on their yearly easter festival, and then come dressed as jesus and force them to shank each other. Yes i really do look like jesus.

  49. HAHAHAHA, this made me laugh for a good 20 minutes, what an idiot I feel like he SHOULD be shanked for posting something so dumb. And obv he doesnt get around much as all his friends seem to be on the same page naive-wise. Get informed please, then you wont make an ass of yourself on facebook, then be promoted to lamebook.

  50. “OH my goodness!”

    I’m now picturing this guy with a tophat and monicle. Someone has offended him!

  51. “Asian Glow” defined:

    Yup, it’s weird offhanded racism, awrite…

  52. five dollars says he’s lying and got totally high

  53. Joydivisionthecure

    :-O this explains why nerds always pull their pants up so high! Protection against the stoners “shanking” them!

  54. calibeachballsurfdude98

    Nigga fuck weed. That shit is for hella pussies man.

    Smoke Crack.

  55. “Best of luck friends in high school still”; is he speaking ‘Yoda’?! Oh, and I love that one of the guys outs his roommate’s brother for being a dealer…on FB, nonetheless ;) Those damn virgins!

  56. How the hell has this Alex chick heard of Asian glow, when I have been drinking since I was 14 and never heard about it. Obviously she had lessons about it in school

  57. 420 smoke weed some days

  58. I think it’s funny that so many people thought to call this boy a nerd, loser, dork, etc. because he chose not to indulge in marijuana cigarettes. And bonus points to those of you who proclaimed to take harder substances such as crack or LSD. Yes, you must all be winners in society.

    This is obviously a well-groomed boy who had the strength to stand up to his moral convictions and turn away an illegal temptation. He is the opposite of lame; he is awesome.

  59. If being dramatic, naïve, preechy and judgmental are all traits of being awesome — then yeah. He’s super awesome, alright.

  60. clueless fuckwit

    Chairman Mao, if you’re a troll, well done. I honestly want to shank you, but with a blunt object like the butt plug in your nightstand drawer. If you’re NOT a troll, get the fuck out of here. This is Lamebook. Do you get that? Does anything in the name or content of this site imply we’re all going to sit around holding hands and singing kumbaya, or that your sanctimonious bullshit will be appreciated or appropriate?

  61. It’s fine if this guy wants to be straight-edge, but this is the stupidest posting ever. It’s ironically up there with people who brag on Facebook about how “totally fuckin’ high” they got last night–except even more out-of-touch with reality.

  62. well i’m glad he didn’t “scream no” or else the guy would have most likely shanked him.

    WTF, sounds like this little cunt was getting gang raped in a parking garage rather than being offered a joint

  63. I hate it when people won’t smoke my weed. Makes me wanna shank someone.

  64. …Chairman Mao – shut up and go smoke a bowl.

  65. Chairman Mao i dont think anybody here is knocking this piece of sheltered-since-birth shit for not wanting to get high, we are knocking him because he acted like a 5th grader and went and wrote a note about someone offering him weed like it was the craziest shit he’d ever done. The way this guy writes about being offered weed in college is how most of us would talk if we survived a fucking plane crash. do you defend the little guy on all these sites that are supposed to be funny and lighhearted or were you just feeling especially gay on when you read this post? YOU are lamebook worthy. go get HIGH!! obviously you will be in the express lane to hell but at least you wont get shanked. I bet you agreed with Chris Crocker too. . .Douche bag

  66. This is why Im glad I started smoking weed at 15. Who knows how fuckin retarded Id be if I didnt. :( definitely glad I dont sound like those guys!

  67. This guy gives nerds a bad name. All the nerds i know are stoners. Damn ignorant and naive rich kids

  68. Jesus is a homosexual, drug-addict, alcoholic…. I LOVE HIM.

  69. I’m slightly more emotionally dead because the American education system is capable of producing anyone who posted on that thread.

  70. srsly. where are all these “drug pushers” i was warned about? nobody seems to ever want to give me free drugs. and it’s not like i avoid the places where they might be. for facks sake.

  71. this was obviously a very important moment in this young man’s development as a College Student.

    i’m so glad that he is writing these Preachy Notes to his Younger Admirers.

    hopefully it will turn them all away from the horrific, untold dangers of Weed.

  72. yes i think the next story of Jeffery is going to be: i was driving into another parking lot and this hooker walked up to my car and offered me a good time, so i thought to myself i shall politely decline as cool as a cucumber, because if i sounded too panicked she might rape me, no i’m fine thanks missy, it was a good thing i did as i’m saving myself for someone special remember kids don’t feel pressured to have sex because everyone is doing it =D….. oh i do hope he brings out a book LMAO!! LOOOOSER!

  73. i cant believe i went to high school with this guy.

  74. Stoners arent violent! Hes making stoners out to be some sort of evil people who go something along the lines of ‘SMOKE WEED OR ILL CUT YOU!’
    Were all mellow :) thats the point isnt it?

  75. Where is this magical place where people come up to you at random and offer you free weed? I have never been approached by anyone who even wanted to SELL me the stuff and I live ostensibly in the “inner city”. I mean, I would very probably say no to any of it — a single glass of wine has the potential to fuck me up and I distrust my ability to skirt the law — but this story seems so very fantastical to me and it’s very telling (in a suspicious way) how moralistic the overtones of said story are.

  76. Good grief. I’ve never smoked dope – or even a cigarette – in my life, and I still think this guy sounds like the biggest nerdy loser ever. And Alice is clearly a barrel of laughs (“I would sip”!!!).

  77. Good grief. I’ve never smoked dope in my life and I still think this guy is the nerdiest geek. And as for Alice – “I would sip” – wow, you sound like a barrel of laughs.

  78. Sorry – didn’t mean to post twice.

  79. vandal: fer shizzz :D

    the way i see it stoners are not neccesarily the most motivated people in the world, but we are fucking brilliant thinkers.. (people who drink –> the complete opposite) stoners just think so much that they hardly ever put their thoughts into action. it’s as if the devil’s cabbage helps clear your mind of little shit so you can focus on one thing until it manifests a deeper meaning.

  80. i laughed ridiculously hard at Kron’s “Shanktown, Population: Nerd” comment.

  81. right, cuz weed is the end of the world.

  82. @ #69 User ~ I’m pretty sure this one wasn’t produced by the American education system! I teach & every single one of my kids are way more informed than this poor guy. I bet he was homeschooled by some of those born again parents!!!

  83. Why has only one person mentioned shanking someone=pantsing them?? Yeah the whole note is hilarious, but come on! It’s one thing to not know anything about stoners, but thinking that people are in prison are just walking around with their pants around their ankles? Classic.

  84. LOL sarah i will join you in said parking lot with my killa bong and we will pack and heckle those little pussies all night long!

    seriously.. kids like this exsist?
    I want to meet him.. then fuck him stupid. :)

  85. After reading Joey’s link, it is utterly apparent this whole ignorance is due to an excess of MSG in the diet.



  88. asian parents need to stop sheltering their fucking kids!!!!!!!!! this is what happens!!!!!! they’re not nerds they’re just asian….it makes sense now.

  89. wow i cannot believe i went to high school to this guy and now i see him in time i see him around school im gonna offer him some weed and cocaine.

  90. I was stabbed after i said no to drugs for the first time. I almost died! you know what they say… Stab me once for saying no to drugs…shame on you. Stab me again for saying no to drugs…shame on me. Now i always say yes

  91. i feel like i’ve just intruded on a secret society of gay, virgin, nerds.

  92. There’s way better places to smoke than a parking lot

  93. and also, “a week ago”? it’s still at the forefront of your mind? Sheltered Asian kid, maybe you should… travel to Asia… there’s a whole lot to see.

  94. Damn, it’s a good thing this kid doesn’t smoke weed. He’d probably grow a sense of self awareness and bother his friends with notes that don’t make him look like an utter fool.

  95. he can’t be seduced by weed, you cant see but his next feed was, i’d rather smoke an once of black tar heroin

  96. Did these fools grow up in a box??? Seriously!!!

  97. They’re serious?

  98. Okay, these kids are seriously sad (and the mental image I’m having of prisoners pulling each other’s pants down and yelling “You just got shanked!” is cracking me up), but the idea of some of the people in here that weed is making you so much fucking cooler than these kids or somehow more of an intelligent individual is also making me laugh. You may smoke weed. You may be intelligent. But you are not intelligent because you smoke weed, and to say you are is to believe the stoner bullshit just like these kids obviously believe the DARE bullshit. Also, my guess is if you have to talk about how you smoke weed and are intelligent, you probably aren’t. But keep trying. Someday you may even find a broader audience than the lamebook comments page for your repartee.

  99. jeffrey is a conservative in the making, Im graduating this semester and shit Ive done it all and Im rocking a solid 2.0

  100. poor stoner dude probably needed someone to skin up for him cos he was too baked. and then he had the misfortune to run into this twitchy freak, bad buzz. hope he was ok

  101. Seriously stop calling him a nerd, I know many self proclaimed “nerds” who smoke and drink more than…well…more than… more than this fella I’ll tell you that.

  102. Im so high.

  103. MARIJUANA – Kills.


  104. tell you’re girlfriend to say no to advil too jeffery.. your holiness can save her from cramping once a month.. she DONT NEED NO DRUGS

  105. bunch of wamkers, saying no to weed, phew tossers. here i am with no weed, and i read this dumb shit,

  106. What. A. Douchebag.

  107. The only thing funnier then the actual post is the comments!

    But seriously. this post makes me want to shank his pants off.

  108. Lucifer Sam got a point.
    Everyone rode the fuckin’ bandwagon.

    It’s funny how some people think they’re now cooler just because they’re smoking weed. I smoked weed but it sure didn’t transform me into an elitist.

  109. He’s not a rich kid or a nerd. He’s just simply naive very socially. A couple people mentioned he may have been homeschooled and that was my first thought. There’s no way you go through 12 grades of an American school in this day and age (public OR private) and still have this reaction when someone offers you weed by the time you get to college. He’s never been around people his own age who are even slightly different from him and I think it’s because he never went to school with other people. That, and crazy overprotected parents brainwashing him with DARE propaganda.

    Have you guys even paid attention to the comments he’s posted? He’s already lightening up about it and you can practically see his mind opening up. College is going to be a relatively earth-shattering experience for this kid.

    Hell, I almost envy him.

  110. As ever, Chairman Mao is the opposite of cool…he is a douche.

    Lamebook should make a separate website for Lamebook’s Lamest Comments.


  112. huh… he scares me! Lucky stoned soul who couldn’t find his way out of the car park – can you imagine the malarkey he would have been subjected to by this drug scared individual?

  113. the original post was, well, totally ridiculous in a way that’s entertaining enough to make me think it’s probably real…

    but as for the comments, i’m with lucifer sam. honestly, i know a ton of stoners, and while many of them are intelligent people (as many also aren’t, just like the rest of the population), they are by and large lazy do-nothing losers. it doesn’t bother me that they are – if you don’t want to do anything with your life, cool.

    but i’m kinda getting tired of pot apologists flooding teh internets with comments (seemingly everywhere) about how smart and cool they are, how pot isn’t dangerous at all (i’ve driven high before – believe me, it’s dangerous as fuck) and how all of us who choose not to get high are clearly missing out on everything that’s great in life and we need to be more like them. ugh.

    so why don’t you chill, smoke another bowl and retreat into the awesome brilliance of your own mind? if it’s so fucking amazing, why do you need to keep convincing everyone (including yourselves) of that? just mellow with your kind bud, dude, don’t shower, listen to hours and hours of pink floyd, eat a lot of nachos and enjoy! i enjoy my life the way it is and don’t feel any need whatsoever to constantly have to try to get everyone to live like i do. why do y’all?

  114. Had a good ROFL at Vandals comment. Ahahahahahaha.

    July 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am
    the only violent thing ive seen a stoner do is trip himself.

  115. oh come on! offered free weed and declined? how dumb are you? and making a biiiig deal out of it? you re miserable jeff. Just listen to the other jeff, he s got more sense in him

  116. I think these people just made this like fake conversation and note so they can be put on lamebook, or at least i hope so cause this is sad. Its hard to believe this is actually real and if it is i feel really bad haha, but yeah my friends try putting corny stuff up all the time now just to get on this site. hmmmm

  117. lol read this while stoned.

  118. 1) nerds or not nerds jeffrey and some of his friends are totally oblivious to how prevalent weed use is and therefore it is totally appropriate to make fun of them for making this so evident to the public…

    2) as for smoking weed making u cooler or smarter or whatever the claims made my lucifer sam 1 & 2 are id argue thats not what most weed smokers think or why people smoke weed…im not going to speak on the behalf of the millions of people that smoke bud and for what reasons they do, but I will say weed smoking might not make you smarter but it can definitely give you a different outlook on things, giving someone positive perspectives they may have not previously considered. it is also a great gateway to creativity creating the possibility for unbelievable accomplishments that probably would not have been realized if not for marijuana. the best example of that, despite there being many, would be the large majority of musicians who smoke pot daily and go on to write and create music we all love…im going to assume music even you lucifers get into…

    3)lastly, lucifer/sam #2 i wouldnt try and portray yourself as such a knowledgeable person about weed when it could and should be assumed u dont have a whole lot of experience with the stuff…’specially when considering u probably never conquered the paranoia aspect of smoking pot since u think driving high is “dangerous as fuck” and cause of all the stupid weed smoker stereotypes you ended your rant with…also, you’re being kind of hypocritical claiming the weed-using-community is pushing itself on others when your basically preaching how great you are for not smoking and then keeping that to yourself…

    4) in closing I’m just saying weed is everywhere, just like let’s say…alcohol…and just like people are going to brag about how great beer tastes, or how much alcohol they might be able to consume, smokers are going to push how great the smell of pot is to them, and how it isnt as harmful as advertised, and so on…and the point is like it or not weed is everywhere. it is hugely a part of our society and its going to be talked about everywhere, like it is on forums like this, just get over it…if u cant appreciate it so be it…but please…dont try and lecture others on how to act…its not needed, almost definitely not going to be listened to, and it makes you look stupid…

    im sure ill catch some shit for writing all this but the lucifers said their two cents, and I was pretty stoned and felt like giving mine…

    accept it before it destroys you….

  119. waste of time

  120. Will shank for weed.

  121. @ Weed Police –

    here, here!

  122. This is why people shouldn’t go to those Catholic camps, they just drain the real world right out of your soul. These kids are probably the top Camp Councilors.

  123. Poor kid got brainwashed.

  124. flash_in_the_ pan

    Guess that’s what happens when you’re home schooled.

  125. “Oh my goodness!” Are you fucking kidding me? I just want to smoke a bowl now.

  126. @ Weed Police – You typed that out high? Hmmmm…I’d love to see someone type out a response even REMOTELY close to coherency, and even half the length.

  127. Hahahaha – homeschooled!!!

  128. man, this sounds like a perfect plot for a south park episode

  129. Does this guy understand what happens when you smoke pot? It doesn’t exactly make you violent…

  130. These kids are never going to get laid.

  131. Pfft. I actually agree with the OP..people who do this shit don’t really react in a rational manner and tend to be quite aggressive, erratic.

    It’s amusing seeing people trying to defend/rationalize drug usage; the person who submitted this is obviously such a person. :)

  132. You know those kraaaazeee potheads, always going on rampages and pressuring you to smoke all their drugs.

  133. Oooo that’s pissed me off.

    ‘I hope you guys can also say no to stuff that can do some harm to your body’

    Fuck you, I’ll do what I want with my body.

    Weed is so dramatised, it’s made out that if you smoke a spliff there’s automatically a chance for you to become schitzophrenic and that you turn into some thieving drooling lunatic, in fact there is no causal link between cannabis and ANY mental illness of any kind, and the majority of people that smoke weed (including me) will smoke in the evening to unwind and then probably spend the rest of the night watching tv and eating junk food.Since man has walked upon this earth he has always sought a way to enebriate himself, whether through alcohol, cannabis, any drug whatsoever. You can’t say drugs are bad; drugs are drugs, it’s just that some of the people that take them are bad.Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, ignorant fucks.

  134. A toker… What a clever moniker you are using. Way to be a rebel and stick it to the man AND at the same time let every one who reads your moot posts, know just what a rebel you are by smoking weed. I bet women are throwing themselves at you at this very moment!!! I mean in this day and age someone who smokes weed and lets others know by using a common term for his internet name?!? Who are you in real life Snoop? Dre?!? Tommy Lee??!? GO CONSIDER SUICIDE. tool. No there is no link between weed and any mental illness, but only because stupidity isnt considered an illness. Enjoy living the rest of your life fat and stupid!

  135. McGill represent..


    omg such little white american bible thumpers…. why are people getting angry-this is hilarious!

    its kinda like watching “cops” where weed is this hardcore gateway drug and dealers have pot in one pocket and heroin in the other… its only the case because the american government made it the case by putting it on the “wrong side of the line”..(only when its convenient for them, many times in history has weed been made legal if it suited the government at the time. at this time marijuana is synonymous with evil)…

    but in all honesty, in moderation, in a social setting, weed can be treated exactly like alcohol… hell its the number one lubricant in my family reunions (how else could we stand uncle anthony?)… but then again, maybe its just my canadian perspective..

    let’s calm down everyone.. wanna drag ;-) ?

  136. McGill represent..

    ahhhh maybe I stereotype… could have just been homeschooled… and I agree with Hayes, It did seem like he was learning and blossoming…

    muahahha.. the ad at the bottom of the screen right now is “Drugrunners” the game….

    hey, and lucifer. I dont want nachos, i want a fucking pita!!!! (but smoking and driving is deff not cool, hell you shouldn’t even drive when your sleepy or on cold meds… people that dumb should be shot)…

  137. he was on the choof not the roids, he couldnt have been that scary

    and omg your in college, just say yes little boy

  138. #138 ROFL

  139. To all the “Weed Polices” out there. Yes, you are making a few valid points in your passionate defenses of weed, and I am not interested in getting on a soapbox or a high horse here and wagging my fingers around. And as an atheist, rest assured that I’m not entering this forum with some religious agenda in my mind.

    And the very last thing I’ll do is argue – for I know what a glorious waste of time that would be. You see, had I read what you wrote here about 10 years ago, I’d have gladly put my own name to your words, as I felt exactly the way you do now. And I loved nothing more than cutting non-users down to size with the so-called “deeper perspectives” that my mind had explored in the process.

    Until the wake-up calls started arriving. First F— died, behind the wheel, late at night, returning from a gig and high from all the dope. Then G—- only 3 months later, in exactly the same way. And barely over a year later my love L—–, again, died in the same way. In the matter of a few blinks of my eye (relatively speaking), the only 3 people I ever felt close to in my life, gone. And, sad to say, but weed played a huge contributing factor in all three those accidents that claimed their lives before any of them had reached 30.

    Suddenly I had no one left to share a spliff, or “doobie”, with. Yes, I knew some other dopeheads to hang with, but the scene had changed and all that dope-music began to sound a bit hollow too. My life was not a mess or anything, in fact I was in control of my career and was anything but a stereotypical junkie. But the warning bells were growing louder, and I eventually quit the habit altogether. And yes, my life has been much, much better for it ever since.

    So, I am not going to knock any dope-user, not at all. But do not knock non-users, is all I’m saying. Because if you do, you’re probably only displaying your lack of (real) life-experience. And you can not “convince” anyone to see life through your eyes, just like no-one can convince you.

    You may rightfully list all the “unbelievable accomplishments” by weed-smokers, that can not be denied. Yet you only mentioned the groovy music made by known consumers of marijuana (which, yes, is great music). So let’s just focus on music & arts only. It may not be in your taste, but nevertheless, the Beethovens, Wagners, Vivaldis, Da Vincis, Rembrandts, etc etc, did not need marijuana to create their timeless works of art/genius. Just remember that the next time you tell the world that we wouldn’t have had Bob Marley had it not been for weed.

    Still, just as a parting thought, those kids in the original facebook-post are way, way further removed from reality than your regular marijuana smoker, that much is sure. And I do think their sheltered upbringing would ultimately cause them far more harm than a few years of smoking dope would do.

  140. jeffrey’s a first class cunt

  141. Who ARE these people? This can’t be f*cking real. This must be like, people from one of those polygamist sects who are cut off from the outside world.

  142. wait, so his first reaction was to SCREAM no?! who does that? hey dude, i got some of that dank skunk. u wanna hit it? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    @140 – the bud (the part you smoke) has only around 33% of the tar in cigarettes. the leaves do have around 150% but cannabis doesn’t have any of the radioactive particles in it like tobacco, and its the radioactive particles like radium 226, lead 210, and polonium 210 that cause cancer from cigarettes, not the tars. and as for overdosing, it’s theorised that you’d have to smoke over 15,000lbs within 15 minutes to get enough THC in your blood to overdose… making it impossible. so how did they die…?

    oh, and as for some “unbelievably accomplished” weed smokers: thomas jefferson, stephen king, walt disney, william shakespeare, winston churchill, pablo picasso, john f. kennedy, george washington, bill clinton. oh and they’ve found traces of THC in the body sample of some of the pharoahs of freakin egypt! some of them smoked of it, and some of them just tried it but they’re all pretty “unbelievably accomplished” (and no musicians!). and did you know da vinci, beethoven, etc personally? considering hemp was one of the leading crops until 1937 it wouldn’t be far-fetched to imagine da vinci hitting a bong once or twice in his life.

  143. @ 145

    They died having crashed their cars while high – none of the accidents caused by other motorists.

    And no, I didn’t know Da Vinci, Beethoven et al personally. You missed my point though. I myself tended to have a better-than-you attitude towards non-users during my pot-smoking years, partly because of the many famous examples of accomplished pot-users, like the Stephen Kings and Pablo Picassos you mentioned. However, not being a user does not render you artistically incapable, that is all I’m saying.

    Imagining Da Vinci hitting a bong does not amount to proof, sorry hojo.

    And finally, please read my last paragraph at #140 again. I am not on a crusade, merely saying that no one is more superior to the other, and no one holds the high ground here. I respect pot smokers, but not those having a haughty attitude towards people who may have really good reasons not to use it.

  144. This story would be much better if the dude did get shanked.

  145. haha shanked, then pantsed.

    and sure pot is dangerous when you drive, but so is alcohol and yet that is legal. mobile phones are dangerous to use when you drive too, does that mean they should be made illegal?

  146. Yeah, because I’m always scared that stoners are going to shank me. They’re known for their violent tendencies. Especially if you get in between them and some Doritos.

    @140: Just as #148 pointed out, it’s dangerous to drive while under the influence of any drugs, or alcohol, or many prescription meds (or even OTC meds, like Benadryl), or to drive while talking/texting on a cell phone, or messing with your iPod, or arguing with your friend in the passenger seat, or being distracted by rowdy kids in the backseat. Driving is DANGEROUS.

    NOBODY should drive while on any substance that impairs his/her reflexes. But you’re going to blame this on marijuana, instead of on your friends’ bad judgment? These people (and other like them) suffered an incredible lack of common sense and judgment by getting behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated or otherwise impaired.

    I can understand why these incidents would make you personally not want to partake of marijuana. But you can’t lay the blame solely on the substance.

  147. couldn’t have put it better ^^

  148. Beware the sketchy baked goods?? LMAO. That belongs in an afterschool special for sure! ‘How to Prepare for College’…”I don’t know, Alice, these cupcakes seem awfully SUSPICIOUS…maybe we should head on over to the BSU.” Who ARE these people??

  149. @ 149

    Yes, you are absolutely right, the root cause of each accident was bad judgment. Similarly, it is pathetic to blame booze when you’ve had too much and you puke – it’s merely a consequence of a decision made to pour that stuff down the hatch. I still drink, but I try to avoid getting too silly in the process.

    Any committed substance abuser is bound to make those bad calls sooner or later though. Yes, I’ve done it too. Are there any drinkers/smokers/cellphoners/etc out there who always refuse to drive when they ought not to?

    Lastly, I know it’s so friggin’ douchebaggy and uncool to “preach” a word of caution amongst users who think they are so wiser and so much cooler than everybody else because they indulge in weed. Yeah, if I come across as a pretentious prick, I can only blame myself for that. I just thought I’d share my own perspective, like everybody else here is doing. Maybe somebody will appreciate it (while I expected some abuse would come my way). Yet I won’t ever stop anybody experimenting with weed, and neither would I ever associate myself with all the delusional Jeffreys of this world.

  150. i’m pretty sure this guy’s parents must be on his friend’s list and the whole thing is tongue in cheek…or not.

  151. Ah, Jeffrey, you were a youth leader at your church, weren’t you? Weed is expensive, and people aren’t looking to throw out their money by offering it away. “No thanks” was the perfect response.

  152. Jaco, I think you are very well spoken and I like your comments.

    I have barely ever smoked pot but I have been very drunk and made horrible decisions. I lost a friend who decided to get behind the wheel while drunk. Luckily no one else was hurt that night.

    It definitely adjusts your view on things, so I have no problem with anything you said. :)

  153. Haha, I’m definitely crowning this crowd the kings of lame.


  154. this is so completely unrealistic….i mean common jeffrey open your eyes are you aware that statistically 90% of kids who graduate highschool have tried marijuana ATLEAST once before they graduate…so clearly you are running a little behind on that. And stop trying to demonize casual marijuana smokers. It’s not like this guy was asking you to inhale some of the gas you were using to drive your car while he helped you sniff an eight ball of cocaine

  155. I like turtles.

  156. Thank you Anna!

  157. @Weed Police


    Too stoned

  158. NOT WEED!!!!!!!! God forbid you sit around and laugh.

  159. i probably will never look at this again, and this is seriously hilarious…especially the shank part. but i don’t understand why so many people are hating against Jesus, and born again believers? that’s just as judgmental as a kid who judges a stoner. Jesus is the most amazing thing this world was ever given, whether you do drugs or not, Jesus Christ is the son of God, died for your sins, and you will bow before him in the end and be judged for all the careless things you’ve said. What has Jesus ever done to be treated like such dirt??? All he does is love you??

  160. Lol, this dude is going to be in for a hell of an experience in college.

    Personally I would’ve given Jeff some Mo’Wax comps, Thievery Corporation, and DJ Krush albums and tell him to try it at least once. It’s better to say I’m glad I did than I wish I would’ve.

    And sadly, there are people like this and some of them maintain it well into college. I knew a couple of them in high school and when one of them found out I smoked weed he looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

    I don’t mind people choosing not to smoke or drink, but there’s a certain kind of naivete that you just can’t help but shake your head at.

  161. GOMERS

  162. ‘wait wait. you said no to free weed?’ LOL

  163. ContactRoastingMachine

    I’m pretty sure I’ve played the party of “some dude” multiple times in my college career. I feel kind of bad about it now, seeing the other side of things… all the times I threw up in public… all the times I pulled out hard drugs infront of strangers. All the times I tried to sell weed to random people. Sometimes I think I’m a monster.

  164. @167 …a candid and thought-provoking reflection!

  165. Christ on a cracker

    What?! The fuck is wrong with kids these days anyway?

    You NEVER say NO to free ganja, dude! You high on christ or something!

  166. is probably what these pricks were watching.

    and even if i was high on christ, id probably get high on ganja for an even bigger high.

  167. ninjapiraterockstar

    A week ago I was atually offered Christ by some dude at College. I was walking out of a lecture and this guy just goes “hey, buddy, want tot alk” and he was smiling all weird, like he was mentally deranged or something. I was thinking “wow, just back the fuck up dude or I’ll shank the fuck out of you so hard” but I knew that it was a public place with a lot of people around so I had to play it cool. Then he was all like “Jesus loves you man” and “drugs hurt your soul”. Now I’m only telling you this as a warning, because I want you to be prepared for all manner of sinister things you’ll experience in college. There’s a lot of scary people at college, like this Christian fella. So anyway, he then says “do you want to go and study some bible with me” and stayed cool as lime cordial, just acting all relaxed, but obviously I was shitting myself on the inside.
    So I followed himout into this carpark where he wanted me to study some bible with him and I knew that I couldn’t just reject his offer cos he might get up onme. And there’s nothing worse than someone getting all up on you. SO anyway, he pulls out this bible and then I started tripping, ‘cos I couldn’t believe that someone was actually offering me the love of Christ… at college, of all places!…. I was scared. I had no choice… I shanked him…… That’s right, just pulled out my shiv and drove it hard up under his rib cage till he started coughing up blood and making a hideous gurgling noise. And then I ran away to go offer people free pot in parking lots. I nearly shanked some other bloke when he rejected mny offer but I knew that my shank-quota had been filled for the day and I guess I just bought it.

    But yeah, take care out there all my friends, especially those of you who are either current or prospective college students.

    (…. and, on a serious note, I’m actually a Christian, so don’t think i hate christians or some shit, i just fell in love with this guy’s message. fantastic)

  168. WikidJuggaloPanda

    my favorite comment “you turned down free weed?”

  169. “What does shank mean?” Bwahahaha.

    Alice has never drank, or had an orgasm.. hats off to you alice.

  170. 3500 years a medicine, 100 years a drug, i know the numbers arent totally correct, but still, some stupid shit that this world is going through

  171. “What does shank mean?” “I think it means to pants someone.” “Nope, it means to beat someone up.” “Shank means to cut someone with a knife.”

    ROFLMFAO, fa shizzle.

  172. HELLO? never mind the kid figuring it all out, doesn’t ANYONE else notice the REAL issue here???? the kid blabbing about his room mate having a “dealer bro.” Why doesn’t anyone understand COPS LOOOOVE FACEBOOK?!?!? thats right,it doesnt take a rocket scientist these days to track drug offenders- when they are revealing their entire shit online. Its the friend ratting out his room mate’s bro that is going to get shanked! Real quick. The real issue here isnt the same old weed debate. Its what the hell is happening to our society online. The poor dumb kid doesnt realize his need to express his anxieties online- will lead to a massive shakedown. Its allright for the kid to struggle with choices- healthy and natural and no one should choose drugs without thought and guidance. Police work couldnt get any easier than facebook- which means more taxes for everyone. For god’s sake, don’t ask and don’t tell. Its all public domain people!!! Figure that out already. By the time the police force gets down rounding up that campus, nobody’s going to make it to graduation day.I hope they all get some strong enough herb to make them good and PARANOID. they should be.

  173. Alcohol, yay!

  174. @ ninjapiraterockstar: you are the best! As for the original post, these dorks must attend Oral Roberts University! That Alice is a closet freak. She “sips” alcohol. That’s what they all say! @ questioning: you are SO right re cops and law enforcement agencies trolling FB. I have an acquaintance who is a fed and he says it is their most useful tool, currently. I have seen confessions to crime posted on FB! Your freaking name is on your profile! And most likely your photo! Idiots!!! o

  175. Gotta love the ‘Nerd Herd’ and their home schooled education.
    Thanks for saying no, at least that gives us more weed. regards, the ‘violent stoners’.

  176. It does not surprise me at all that someone would be offering students weed at the PCC campus. Oh, community college.

  177. The upset him so much he had to tell his priest about it – at least afterwards, when his mouth was empty. Jesus be praised!

  178. Its the fucking Beatles

    Maybe we shouldn’t be so damned judgmental of others. Yes these kids sound incredibly naive but I don’t know why people would give them such shit about it. And for those advocating the use of drugs, maybe you should get your facts straight. Drugs do HUGE amounts of damage to both mental and physical health. I’ve known of several people who have died very young (between 30-35)due to heart disease because of their lifestyle choices. People have committed suicide after their mental health went into a downward spiral after smoking cannabis and weed for years. I’ve been to crime scenes where “stoners” have murdered their own friends for drugs and/or money. I’ve seen plenty of people whose lives have been fucked up big time by “just” cannabis or weed. We all live life differently. What is wrong with that?

  179. @WeedShanker Yeah, this kid’s probably hyped on MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and partially hydrogenated oils to realize how fucking stupid he sounds. Weed is not the problem, it’s the solution. Go smoke a bowl and think about all the drugs in your food you eat everyday little christian kids. I’ll give you a hint, it’s all those things I listed.

  180. Serial Thriller

    That is the most adorable group of honkies I’ve seen in one-fucking-place.

  181. Jebus Christ! how pampered and sheltered do you have to be?!

  182. WTF?

  183. This thread reminds me of a young cop I once met who shared a heroic story with me about how he rescued a kid from “overdosing on pot”. Good think the kid didn’t try to shank him!! And to think the force allows idiots like this to carry a gun and badge and even worse that he could be one to respond to a serious emergency. Shame on America for filling people’s heads with such lies about a PLANT. Sheesh!!

  184. I think these kids are high on the lord lol. And coke.

  185. jeff, you overly dramatic dumb-ass

  186. Feh.
    I don’t do pot or associate myself with very many stoners. (Mostly personal choice. I’m fine with people who do it, so long as they don’t keep trying to force it on me or talk about doing it every time we speak.)
    I find people who drink constantly like it’s the only thing they have to do with their life more dangerous than potheads.

    Just my two cents.


  188. @178: “I’ve seen plenty of people whose lives have been fucked up big time by “just” cannabis or weed.”

    I sincerely doubt that. And it’s not an either or. Cannabis and weed are the same thing.

  189. I don’t know this guy (thankfully), and I’m sure there are other PCC’s in the world…
    but this sounds like it’s at Pasadena City College. I used to live in the area and attend that school.
    This certainly is not an isolated incident. This guy does sound like a pansy; must be fresh out of HS. It’s fine if you don’t want to do drugs — more power to you. But I really don’t think someone’s gunna shank you if you merely decline, lmao. I’ve had people from that school solicit me as their toking buddies, and I must say, they’re some of the dopest (no pun intended) people I know. This dude prob pissed his pants over a harmless stoner.
    Mota forever.

  190. A guy who’s high on weed is not going to stab you. If anything he’ll give you a hug and start talking about “Kid A” and how it revolutionized music. He will do this for thirty minutes, then wander off to find a Jimmy John’s and take advantage of the “free smells” policy. For an hour. He will then go back to his dorm or apartment, watch two episodes of “Spin City,” and eat rotisserie chicken.
    In short: he’ll do a lot less damage than a guy who’s drunk.

  191. Also, you know this guy is totally Christian.

  192. Oh, and #178: you’re full of shit.

  193. Wow those losers are so square. Maybe they need to smoke and be fucking normal to slap that nerd off their faces. Weed is natural, grows on this Earth and has got many years before the stupid government made it illegal and criminalized. It will be legalized, you better believe it. I feel sorry for those fools, and sorry that our planet is populated with stupid ass people like that.

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