Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Princess Diaries

previous post: Gimme A Break



  1. This is pure awesomeness.

  2. They actually live in a trailer. We can’t possibly say anything to top that.

  3. What the hell did I just read?

  4. Really, word? I was thinking this is pure idiocracy.
    Somewhat reminds me of that one where the woman;s boyfriend was naming her puppy Aspen and the other chick started flipping because her baby was going to be named that too or wahtever

  5. i got really bored half way through that. it wasn’t spicy. it was just two sad sad women treating babies like trophies and proving schopenhauer right. also notice the man never gets blamed? oh, your tampon falls out, because, like, you totally have sex with loads of men, like, totally all the time. which is totally because you’re a slut. haw haw haw.

    not that i’m having a go at you lamebook. you’re doing exactly what you say on the tin.

  6. Future Springer guests for sure

  7. So, they hate each other, but they shop for tampons together? I’m confused.

  8. I like it, some don’t. That’s the name of the Lamebook game.

  9. My head hurts. These chicks are crazy

  10. I will throw in a medical observation, though. That is one big mofo of a baby 4 weeks out from a due date.

    word’s diagnosis – gestational diabetes.

  11. “Slap her with your afterbirth”. I fucking love this post.

  12. Wow. That was something else entirely.

  13. This was the best post in ages!!

  14. I don’t know if I love it or hate it but it’s definitely up there with crazy.

  15. Wow.


    I’ve got nothing else to say.

  16. I originally thought ‘SamMie’ was a guy. Gave the whole thing a COMPLETELY different meaning…

  17. WHY are these people “FRIENDS”?!? *wharrgarbl head asplode*

  18. @wordpervert, I think that’s the crux of the matter. She is calling her a hoe because she believes the baby had really gone full term and was not prem, hence the comment about her man (being the baby’s father due to the dna test) must have slept with her a month before he admitted that he had. Sounds like he is a real catch, lives in a trailer, probably no job, and probably spends all his time smoking dope and spreading his seed. The ferals, not the meek, shall inherit the Earth

  19. I am with boomstick! “slap that b@#$% with your afterbirth” :P

    Hey guys! How do I cut a 43 comment long status update to post to lamebook??? I have tried with the snip tool, but it only lets me snip a page worth :(

  20. I was all over this post! Even though I can’t stand shows like Jerry Springer and all..I think I prefer this medium.
    @Word I dont think it was a matter of gestational diabetes…I think the due date was a lie to cover up how long said partners had been fucking..hence the comments @ the beginning.
    nonetheless…this post should be incorporated into a daytime soap opera…I want the uncensored version of it!

  21. i dont get why she said that she now knows they lied that it was once?
    just because the baby was a big premie…?
    my little brother was a premie and he was 8ibs

  22. Obviously fake as SamMie knows the difference between “you’re” and “your”. What are the odds of that?

  23. Having people like this on your Facebook would make it soooo much more fun.

    Yeah, you’re probably right, Jim. Still a big mofo of a baby even at term. I apologise in advance to all the Lamebook mothers who have given birth to large babies. I do not mean to offend. It’s just a lot of baby.

  24. my brain… it hurts.

    i love how sammie puts an apostrophe in aint. because its a conjugation of ai and not…..

  25. Trailer trash at it’s finest. I feel like this is going to make a great episode of “Cops.”


  27. Sweet. THIS is what Lamebook is about.

    Love Claire going from ‘fuck that’s mean’ to ‘awesome, arguement!’

  28. I missed the Maury show today so this is perfect! especially the part about the DNA test.

    what kinda crazy hotch tells her man to have sex with someone then gets mad cause they had sex? this post is genius

  29. I agree with several others, this has Jerry written all over it. It also seems kind of fake to me. I mean seriously, why are some of these people ‘friends’ on FB when they hate each other? Princess (Hollie) and SamMie? SamMie and Rachel? Or maybe word hasn’t yet reached the trailer park that you can change your settings so that friends of friends can’t comment your statuses? I don’t get it.

  30. I am a little confused as to how she “knows” that they lied about having sex more than once.

    Does she know that it only takes one time to get pregnant

    I mean, just because the baby is premature doesn’t mean the girl had sex with someone.

  31. People are “friends” on facebook even when they hate each other, because Facebook isn’t this super awesome drama free place where only really good friends add each other. A lot of people add anyone and a lot of people get into fights over facebook…I’ve seen it.

  32. One type of Princess Hollie and a few people appear, it’s pretty easy to figure out who it is. You might want to blank out her name lamebook.

  33. I think it’s absolutely hilarious that this guy could have sex with “princess” in front of her and it’s not cheating but behind her back it was, and then she “forgave” them for it. I don’t want to sound racist or prejudiced here but taking back the forgiveness kinda makes her a native american giver.

  34. This was extremely amusing, but not bust your balls, lol funny. It’s still a win in my books though for entertainment. I say choke her out with the umbilical chord Hollie.

  35. alord, the unnamed man involved obviously had nothing to do with the predicament. He was an innocent bystander who just bumped into hollie a few times. Naked. With his dick.

  36. I wish there were photos so badly it hurts

  37. Anyone else kind of wanting this argument to continue? I sort of want to go and friend these guys just to see how it turns out.

  38. at least the guy didn’t pass on anything other than his genes. They should be all happy for that

  39. Did anyone else notice that her name is Princess Hollie? Easy enough to find on fb. And I call fake!

  40. Is it just me or is the implication, here that hollie/princess is so fat/stupid that she didn’t realise she was pregnant?

  41. I’m exhausted after reading that.

  42. wow.. just wow

  43. HAHAHAHAHA found her on FB. Gotta love blurring out the ‘last’ name which immediately gets used in the comments.

  44. The only thing this page needs is “Sweet Home Alabama” on Auto-Start and it would be sheer brilliance! ;)

  45. Word: My aunt gave birth to a 11 lb boy about a year ago. VERY large. But 9lb is only a little bit over the norm, most are about 8 lbs.
    And if you were born a month early, most chances are that you would be less than 9 lbs, so she is saying that they hooked up a month before they said they did

    ALSO with facebook’s profile settings, you can actually comment on people’s stauses when they aren’t your friend, or it appears like they were friends before this predicament happened

  46. @ness, ain’t is actually appropriate, at least in SamMie’s use of an apostrophe. It’s dialectal, though it doesn’t do anything for the level of class in the commentary.

  47. tl;dr

  48. How did you guys find her? I looked her up and found like…4 under the name “Princess Hollie.”

  49. i was laughing the WHOLE time…..btw saw the girl…id fuck…

  50. Fake, but entertaining. SamMie’s math is a bit off though. If she gave birth suspiciously early to a nine pound “premie” wouldn’t that put the “cheating” before the threesome and not after it?

  51. 22 minutes ago, then 20 minutes ago, then back to 22 minutes ago?

  52. @ deadlycure. If you look at the picture that is blurred, and then the pictures that go with the listed people, you can figure it out.

  53. Lulz, sent a friend request off to Princess Hollie >3> This shit’s just too entertaining.

  54. I think I just suck at looking people up. Well damn. Thanks for the help anyway. :]

  55. Has anyone else noticed that all she does is blame the girl? I’m sorry, if she is going to be mad at anyone, it should be her boyfriend. He’s the one who did the wrong thing.

    Why do people blame the person their boyfriend/girlfriend cheated with? lol I just don’t get it.

  56. Okay so, when it comes to looking people up…. I checked the one Princess Hollie that seemed reasonable, but she had no friend called SamMie or Tashi, and also she was born in 1992 so for her same I hope it wasn’t her. Also she’s not pregnant in any of her last profile pics (silly for making her profile so public)…

    And then the rest all have too long names, so either she is totaly private (like she doesn’t appear in search) or she changed her name or it’s not Princess Hollie…

    I feel like a stalker. But wait, that’s what Facebook’s for, so it’s okay! :)

  57. Tonight, on Masterbook Theatre…

  58. Having a threesome does not give permission for either party to have sex with the third person EVER when both parties are not preset. THREESOME ETIQUETTE, HELLOOOO.

    Anyways, that is the only thing I can sympathize with in this situation.

  59. This is a beautiful wonderful post of Jerry joy, indeed.

    I have to support SaMTard on one thing: a threesome isn’t permission to continue on fucking without your spouse/partner present. Not at all. There are ground rules everyone agrees to. That said, if you also know he’s kissing this bitch and that bitch, um… why are you still with him?

  60. Thank you for posting about threesome etiquette so I don’t have to explain it myself

  61. Wow, that was intense! Clicking ‘Read the rest of this entry >>’ hasn´t been this rewarding since a long time ago!

  62. ijklomarissa, I take my hat off to your Aunt. Ouch. In my onion, anything over 8lbs is a big baby. Every half pound of baby makes a big difference.

    girlskill, you’re spot-on about threesome etiquette. I have a married friend whose husband, after the 3-way, went off and diddled the third party without permission. They are now divorced. He was a cock, anyway. Good bloody riddance.

  63. How the fu(k does SamMie now know that her husband or lover cheated on her with Princess multiple times instead of just once? You can easily have a premature fat baby off just one fu(k!

  64. And vmethod, I agree with you. How could I be mad at them if some guy (or girl) slept with my wife? She’s hot! If I’m going to be mad at anyone, it’d be her. She promised to only get it on with me; they never promised not to do her.

  65. I agree that a threesome is in no way permission to carry on with the other woman on your own, but maybe someone who’s this angry over their boyfriend sleeping with another woman shouldn’t be having threesomes in the first place…

  66. agreed number 2!

    So people in trailers can afford DNA testing? And why bother with tests, does it justify the cheating should it not be not his?

  67. Im just impressed with correct spelling and punctuation. If i was mad at someone, grammar would be the least of my concern :p
    (And the fact they are trailer trash)

  68. Am I the only one who is curious to what the baby actually ended up being called? Who wants to make some bets? And how the hell does she have time to go out and have threesomes when she has two other kids – I hardly get enough time to shower with my 3- and Word they were 10lb 2 and 9lb 10… The premmie was 8lb.

  69. There are tears streaming down my face reading this, it’s debatable whether they are through happiness, sadness or a combination of the two.

    Thank you rednecks of America, you are deep, rich mine of awesomeness for lamebook.

  70. I’m actually friends with a friend of this person on FB. She already has two kids and I’m assuming that she isn’t with the father/s. I doubt that this is fake and for the record this is in Australia and not America…however we do still have people who live in trailer parks and they are generally the equivalent of ‘rednecks’ as well.

  71. My apologies, thanks trailer trash of Australia, you are …. etc. etc. plus the added bonus of being descendants of British bread thieves.

    Mwah ha ha

  72. Australian? That makes it even more awesome.

    I love the lot of you, you bunch of crazy Aussie bitches.

  73. *applauding loudly!*

    Wow, Lamebook, that was better than any Jerry Springer…I had a good chuckle and I must say, for once, these hillybilly’s were easy reading (I’m willing to excuse any minor errors, it was THAT entertaining!)


    Snake Eyezzz

  74. oh…and may add…

    if there’s any craziness doing the rounds in this ‘ere trailer trash park (and/or the other incest-infested ones all over the world)…well I heard that a certain STD can cause that….

    I’l leave that thought with you….

  75. Whoa, these are Australians? Bizarre. I thought this level of wacky hijinks was only to be found in West Virginia, Alabama, and the ghettos of NYC and LA.
    I have now learned America does not have a monopoly on idiots who really ought not to have kids doing so anyway in random combinations.

  76. I can’t decide whether this makes me proud or embarrassed to be Australian…

  77. I’ll be honest guys when i jumped into the trailer with these two little pocket rockets i never realised life would become so awkward.

    I mean i thought i was just getting some three way slut fuck action not a baby and a heavily medicated stalker?!

    oh and for the record they both had fadges like slop buckets.

  78. Man, I’d love to see a video of this.

  79. Try reading it with a whiny Aussie accent, it just adds to the fun. It’s the post that keeps on giving.

  80. I call fake.. It is no way Australian. I live in Brisbane, bogan central, and I have *never* heard anyone call a caravan a trailer unless it’s talking about trailer trash in the US. Generally, none of it sounds Australian.

  81. I’m an ignorant British dickhole, so the whole conversation just reads to me like Claire from LOST having an argument with herself.

  82. Wat.

  83. Like I always say, these people need to die in a fire. And I have to say, what the F is the logic in having someone on your friends list if you’ve fornicated their loved one? That makes zero sense, but then again I suppose we’re talking about ghetto people here.

  84. It’s totally fake. When I read someone’s comment above that said she was easy to find on FB, I went ahead and looked her up. Her wall isn’t private, so I was searching through it for some mention of her new baby girl. Well there is none. The only thing I could find is this…

    Princess-Hollie Really wants another baby!!!!!!!!!!!
    June 30 at 10:47am via Mobile Web · View Feedback (11)Hide Feedback (11) · Share

    Princess-Hollie Im lucky that i have my baby but hes 5! So not really a baby anymore!! Why is it it always happens little 15 year old scabs!!lol x
    June 30 at 11:49am

    So yeah, it’s totally fake! (I took out her last name to be polite, but it’s pretty easy to figure out who she is if you look up Princess Hollie)

    PS: She’s British, not Aussie.

  85. Oh goody, now she has three welfare nigguhs.

  86. her profile picture is grossly accurate to my mother during my childhood…

    sorry, little 9lb baby. you have not much of a life to look forward to.

  87. best spelled and punctuated trash talk I’ve ever seen!

  88. @ aussiegal The person is from Brisbane as well, I was thrown by the use of ‘trailer’ as well and the whole conversation could be fake, for whatever reason but I really have a mutual friend with this person and It is not a fake account.

    @ Smurfmsu8 Sorry to burst your bubble but you are looking at the wrong person, she doesn’t have a last name on facebook and is in fact from Brisbane, Australia. I’m not sure if maybe she is private when you search for her but without being her friend the real ‘Princess Hollie’ has a completely private profile, with no access to her wall posts….So I’m guessing there is a strong possibility you’ve got the wrong person.

  89. DAMN IT PEOPLE!!! If you are going to post something juicy like that make sure you open all the “See more” tabs I just tried to open it =( <<>>

  90. When the fuck is Maury gonna step in??

  91. I want to call fake too. At first i thought Princess and SamMie were really the same person posting as two seperate people, with all the …. in the middle of a sentance and then the correct use of your, you’re etc. but SamMie seems to end all her posts with !!!! and Princess with ……
    Still smell a rat somewhere though …. !!!!!

  92. this IS fake.

    there is no such thing as a DNA test during pregnancy.

  93. @maimaimai
    Check out http://www.americanpregnancy.org/prenataltesting/paternitytesting.html
    DNA testing during pregnancy is available.
    Whether it’s fake or real, it’s still lame and awesome at the same time.

  94. This is fake, it’s way too well written, people that live in trailers can’t spell this well, sorry.

  95. There are Americanisms in the dialogue, but young, uneducated Australians use many Americanisms these days. ‘Premmie’ and ‘mole’ are also specifically Australian slang. I decided that these two sluts were Aussie bogans before Redheart said that (s)he knew that they were in Brisbane. I believe the story, although it may have been spiced up a bit.

  96. Yeah cause if theyll fuck right in front of your face……..they totally wont do it behind your back LOL

  97. @ten98- I hate to burst your judgmental, stereotypical bubble, but there are many people who live in trailers that can spell just as well as anyone else can if not better.

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