Monday, May 3, 2010

The Poop Group

previous post: Chainsawdomy

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80 Comments

  1. fart

  2. That sure is a lot of people who know each other who’ve all pood themselves

  3. Lissieissocool

    I’ve done some hardcore drinking in my time, and I’ve managed to never poop myself. Ive puked, a lot, but never pooped myself because I was drunk. Chris however is a dick.

  4. I also poop myself.

  5. Except I’m not drunk when I do it.

  6. meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow first ben :P

  7. Who's That Girl?

    These people need to grow a sack and lay off of Chris!

    I had a friend that got drunk, puked in the toilet, shit her pants, and got pink eye from the puke the next day. It’s a great story and she laughs about it all the time.

    Drunk stories are the best, and if you can’t handle them, don’t get drunk!

  8. HAHAHHAHAHA CHRIS YOU FUCKING LEGEND!

  9. Chris is a winrar

  10. Doing the ol’ dookie butt is pretty lame, but I think Chris is being a summer’s eve for bringing it up on someone’s facebook unprompted like that.

  11. I have a friend who fell asleep on the toilet (drunk), and only after her poop had up-splashed her did she wake up.

  12. Chris <3 Maybe not at first, but after all her friends (and apparently some strangers) leapt to her defence in proclaiming they'd all unwillingly shit themselves too and it was fiiiiine.

  13. okay seriously, who’s the idiot who named this ‘poop group’ instead of ‘party poopers’? do i need to apply to work at lamebook?

  14. pineapplesalad

    I’d definitely be able to laugh about shitting my pants during a drunken escapade, but I wouldn’t want it broadcast all over FB.

    Though if we’re going to share drinking adventures, here’s one of mine. I was a lightweight on my 21st, and I got completely pissed. Literally. As in, I was so hammered that when my then boyfriend got me upstairs and into bed, I ended up passing out for a few seconds, then immediately projectile vomited into a plastic bag and simultaneously wet myself. Poor guy had to throw me in the shower and clean up my mess. But he ended up cheating on me, so I consider us sort of even.

  15. Good point iced!

    It is pretty funny that they are all like, “youre such a dick for bringing this embarrassing story up on facebook”, and then each proceed to tell their own pants shitting stories. How odd, I dont know anyone who’s shit their pants while drunk. Maybe its cool to do now….kids these days. If you’re shitting yourself you have drunk WAY too much!

    #10 “Shipoopi” – very fitting name lol!!

  16. Lissieissocool

    @Pineapplesalad, it would have been even better if you puked on him instead of in the bag.

  17. And her pants weren’t on??? Very complex story??? Sounds gross

  18. I must admit, I have never pooped my pants after a night of drinking. Am I not doing it right or something?

  19. I don’t know anyone that has shit themselves while drinking… OR, everyone I know has done so, but they have done the intelligent thing and not broadcasted it to the world, via facebook.

    A friend of mine did open his dresser drawer and pee into it when he was drunk, once, though.

  20. Who's That Girl?

    Anyone who has never known someone to either shit or piss their pants while drunk has not had enough fun in their lives…

  21. Who's That Girl?

    @pineapplesalad – Not THAT’s what I’m talking about! Good times!

  22. Who's That Girl?

    *Now

  23. *sigh* I don’t think I have ever known anyone that has done either, I fail.

  24. Ok, I only have one “pee story”.

    I was 20 (shhh) and visiting a friend at college. It was my first time trying the infamous “purple drink” and I got insanely drunk. Cops stopped us for some “other activities”, but let us go with a warning.

    Long story short, I woke up wearing one sock… the other was in the middle of the floor, soaking wet.

    I guess I don’t even technically know if this is a pee story. It tasted like water, but urine is pretty clear, when you drink A LOT.

  25. to quote marth stewart, which i rarely do: “poop, it’s a good thing.”

    oh, and BEN!

  26. What a bunch of party poopers.

  27. @pineapplesalad slap him :P

  28. Who's That Girl?

    Here’s my story:

    Got drunk at an outdoor concert. Tried to use the porta-potty without touching anything (those things are gross), ended up completely missing the urinal and peeing completely down my leg and ALL over myself! Walked out soaking wet and enjoyed the rest of the show.

  29. Amazingly enough, even though I drink booze like a fat kid eats cookies, I’ve never pissed or shit on myself. I have, however, paid plenty of women to do it for me.

  30. Bucky Fellini

    I’m guessing Amanda’s poop is firm and difficult to produce.

  31. Been there, done that, left the very smelly t-shirt at my buddy’s house.

  32. Bucky Fellini

    #31, it’s “Ben there, dooked that”.

  33. HA @ Chris!

  34. fecesbook?

  35. LOL @ Chris. Owned all of them in one fell swoop.

    People who are so juvenile that they get so blitzed that they can’t even control their bowel movements deserve whatever shit they get for it. Pun intended.

    Don’t want to be embarrassed? DON’T SHIT YOUR FUCKING PANTS.

  36. JustAnotherAsian

    lolz @ Chris. I think he just went a bit too far with his jokes, but the others also went too far with their offensive comments. Chris won at the end. haha

  37. Lmao @ winrar. I had no idea it could be misspelled that bad.

    Chris is in no way a dick. The ONLY person who didn’t think he was; was the person who did the actual shitting.

    I have never shit myself drunk. However, I did get drunk on vodka and piss all over my mom’s figurine shelf one night. My friend was sleeping in the chair next to it and said ” What the fuck are you doing!?” So I told him to shut the fuck up, I’m using the bathroom. He started to laugh and said my bad, proceed.

    Ahhhhh, good times.

  38. this is so stupid. if the girl was embarassed about having this on her wall she should have deleted it. duhhhhhhh.

    as for the poop story…my friends old suitemate pooped in her butterfly chair while drunk and then threw the poop out in the dorm hallway. the RA for the floor sent an email to everyone on the floor about the poop in the hallway. classic.

  39. Liz, not another night of the shit abyss.

  40. Oh shit! I summoned Alen001!
    Personally, I’ve gotten piss drunk before, can’t remember the story behind that one, but I did piss on the side of a really nice trucks driver side door before. I still laugh at the idea of him grabbing the piss handle.
    Chris deserves the win here, those bitches ganged the fuck up on him and then got shit all over. Group mentality…

  41. discreetsinner

    apparently, these days, nothing says a good drunken time like shitting your pants. in my day if you peed somewhere weird (like lets say in a dryer) then you had way too much already, but it’s gone to the next level now.
    Chris FTW definately, for calling out that dirty, incontinent Liz, who it seems like to poop ON a toilet, not in it like a regular drunk.

  42. If pooping in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

  43. MsBuzzkillington

    I am not so sure how Chris is a jerk. Maybe if Liz is so embarrassed about what she does while drunk, she should stop drinking.

    Also… was “shitty” party a really good pun or just a happy accident?

  44. Chris may be an ass but I have to agree with him that I really don’t want to be at any of those poopy parties:)

  45. lol

  46. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    I’ve never been drunk :( I guess I’m a big loser

  47. Who's That Girl?

    Not a loser monkeycmonkeydo. I may joke, but in reality, I don’t drink anymore – for exactly these reasons.

    Enjoy your purity, it’s respectable.

  48. EVERYBODY my age poops (pees) their pants. It’s the coolest!

  49. I think you’ve all missed something fairly important here – nearly everyone’s spelling and grammar are excellent. I see complete sentences, proper punctuation, and a general show of intelligence. Pretty impressive for a group of people who apparently get drunk and crap on themselves on a regular basis. Poop party FTW!

  50. @ashley Good point. They don’t seem illiterate at all. How odd.

    @HeSaidWhat Uhh… winrar wasn’t a misspelling. That’s the only right way to spell “winner.” You are a winrar. But, I’m sorry, your giraffe is in another castle.

  51. @Lady Katara – WinRar is also a Windows program used to compress files. Sorry, I’m a nerd.

  52. Good God. Is this the new thing?

    One of my female friends once pissed herself in a kitchen at a New Year’s party. She was completely oblivious. I had to try and soak it up with the cardboard of beer crates before anyone came in and noticed.

    Don’t have any first hand experience of people shitting themselves, thank fuck.

  53. You Got Doddified

    Alen001 you bastaaaard! >:O

  54. The work drunk story I have is I was out & all of the sudden it hit me & I puked all over myself. Went into the bathroom & puked in there. Got in a cab with a friend & proceeded to puke on the cab driver’s arm. I then made it back to my apartment & peed myself because I just couldn’t get up.

    Definitely tipped the cab driver well.

  55. I’m confused. Since when is it a badge of honor to impair yourself to the point that you cannot handle a basic biological function that 3-year-olds can master? I mean, I’ve gotten pretty wasted in my day (drunk enough to get kicked out of a pub in England, once), but I still don’t see anything humorous or wonderful about puking, pissing or shitting yourself, or pissing on anything indoors. (If it’s outdoors, it’s begging to be pissed on once people get drunk.)

  56. Never took it as a badge of honor. More like I’m never drinking vodka again.

    @Katara: I get the giraffe part, but I am confused as hell over the winrar.

  57. Lamebook has done it again. Well done.

  58. thehiviewarcade

    My crazy story is that I’m 24, started drinking when I was 16, and I’ve never urinated or defecated in my pants. On that note, while I have thrown up a few times, I’ve never gotten it on my clothes… *knock on wood*

  59. I’ve never pooped myself while drunk either. I’ve got a few stories up my sleeve but nothing that gross. However, this post reminded me of a news article I read:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/national/210573_sherry03ww.html

  60. @EmKitteh

    Wow.. hahaha Random that you posted that link.. I’m actually from that tiny town.. hahaha

  61. I don’t believe it was an accident that Chris said it must have been a shitty party, haha. He sounds fairly intelligent.
    I must agree, even though he’s an ass for calling Liz out, he still owned them all in the end!!!

  62. I don’t see how Chris was an ass at any point. He was not the only one talking about it or else he would of never found out. Liz never seemed offended at anytime.

  63. Yeah, it’s definitely not a new “thing”, my friends and I have been plenty drunk and yet none of us (that I know of) have pissed or shit ourselves drunk. Not to say that I haven’t done other completely shameful things that I like to regret each night before I go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning. I’m kind of an obsessor.

  64. I know what your saying Mike. This happens to me when I am sober. Usually the moment I finish.

  65. LMFAO! thats exactly what i would say! and to make it better, my names chris too!!

  66. I’m reminded of a song (a personal favorite): eeeeeevery party needs a pooper; that’s why we invited you. Party pooper! Party pooper!

  67. HeSaidWhat, don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of sober moments I regret too. I’m three instances away from reaching level 10, where my experience has allowed me to regret and obsess over things before I even contemplate doing them.

  68. @ cursormortis You sound totally lame.

  69. A friend of mine once lent her cousin a pair of lacy stockings for a party. The girl passed out drunk and shat herself through the little lacy holes. Needless to say my friend let her keep the stockings.

  70. @jelly

    So it was like poopy Play-Doh with one of those little lever tools? That sounds fun. I’d make a wig for Barbie and then giggle when Ken shuns her. She’d be so confused as to why only the Japanese toys want to hang out with her.

  71. @ Jackulaha:
    Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m old-fashioned in that I’d rather embarrass myself by doing something reckless and stupid than by soiling my clothes. Either way, I’ll be the guy saying “Well I tried to ride in a shopping cart tied to somebody’s bumper” while everyone else is saying what they’ve ruined with fecal matter.

  72. Old fashioned = Lame.

    Lol, and now you sound lamer trying to make yourself cool by saying that you do “hardcore” things like tie trolleys to cars. Dude, I’ve never peed or shit myself, and we do shit like riding on wheelie bins on the highway at at high speeds, but you sound like an old fogie being all “oooh, these stories aren’t funny”. Sorry, but they are. Funny puke stories are the best!

    And I’m still LOLing at you “drunk enough to get kicked out of a pub in England, once” Hahahaha! LAME

  73. Chris is my best friend.

  74. And did anyone else get the impression that these fecophiliac chicks were about to lez out all over each other?

  75. i think chris wins there

  76. @ Mike: It gets easier at about level 23. You know its coming so you just cover her face in it so you don’t feel so bad.

  77. supguysfriedchicken

    lol @ people who drink.

  78. Chris Barnhart

    Hahaha. I am so happy to see this up here. And even happier to know that you guys approve. Lmfao. This was me, btw.

  79. Chris Barnhart

    P.S. — The “Pretty Shitty” was indeed an intentional pun. :P I thought it was clever.

  80. Grammar Police

    I loved the way Chris ended it.

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