Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Package

previous post: More People, More Problems

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67 Comments

  1. smokecrack0fuckchickens

    Ben! Steever

  2. Umm…did anyone else get how the dildo on the doorstep was the fault of the boyfriend in Afghanistan?? If he ordered it, it’s because he’s trying to help her out with her needs while he’s gone. What a bitch for announcing it to everyone.

  3. She obviously didn’t use it . . . She needs a dickin’ it sounds like.

  4. How did he get hold of a dildo in Afghanistan?? It seems to me a lot of thought would’ve had to go into this “gift”. Although he may have just bought it before he left whilst thinking “I’d rather she had this big vibrating piece of plastic inside her than a real cock till I get home.”

  5. Seems like a considerate boyfriend.

    Victoria, you are an ungrateful wench. Go fuck yourself.

    …with your fancy new dildo.

  6. Wow, she is way overreacting!

  7. Who shat in her handbag?

    It’s over-sensitive, drama-queen bitchtards who over-react to everything that give the rest of us women a bad name.

  8. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d love to come hone a find a dildo on my stoop! She needs to learn to appreciate a good gift!

  9. @ee

    It all depends on the dildo. Perhaps it was a very poor quality dildo. That could be the only possible reason for such rage.

  10. I would be excited to find a dildo on my door step! She doesn’t know a good gift when she sees one.

  11. Dildos are overrated. In my opinion. Not that anyone seems to care… Let me tell you a story… Oh, I see, you’re all still not listening… I’ll go flush my head down the toilet then. Goodbye cruel world…

  12. That Victoria bitch sure knows how to toy with the crowd. Look at everyone tremendously curious about what the issue is and her taking her sweet time to explain herself…
    Still, she’s an ungrateful, attention seeking, over-reacting cunt. I hope she gets a right bollocking from her friends in the comments to come, which we sadly don’t get to see :(

  13. So what if I say TITS, FLAPS & CUNT! Will anyone notice me?

  14. I wonder if her boyfriend can get Facebook/Lamebook out there? Or whether he’s been shot yet?

  15. itsice, I sure hope so!

  16. HOLLY FUCK indeed Timbo, he sounds like the best boyfriend EVER!

  17. uhhhh…. if my boyfriend was gone all the time and he sent me a dildo i would be the happiest girl in the world.

  18. i know why she was so upset… she recognized it from when she was working as a German porn star.

    so oddly enough he has been sending her stuff from her past that
    she would gladly forget forever…

    such as the gun she used when she assassinated JFK.
    The robes she wore from when she lived in a monks priory.
    Micheal Jacksons real nose from when she worked as his surgeon.
    The remains of the old woman she accidentally ran over twice. :P

  19. Maybe she was hoping for a vibrator? Or perhaps she is just too stupid to connect the damn dots and realize what the intent was. Or maybe she saw it as an insult. She might have been raised Catholic, Baptist or Mormon (though probably not Mormon if she cusses like that).

  20. Hmm…he’s heroic and manly soldier, making decent money, who is considerate enough to take the time and effort to send his lonely girlfriend a dildo. Try BEST boyfriend ever.

    Maybe she was hoping for anal beads..

  21. Dawn of the Dan

    What’s up with Caitlin’s comment? Why did she throw in the “(N)?” Was that to define the word “dislike” as a noun?

  22. That’s a pretty common thing for a soldier to do for his gf/wife!!! Someone I, uh, er, know did that for his wife and she LOVED it!

  23. “I hope you enjoy it asshole!”

    She hopes he enjoys the dildo? But he’s in Afghanistan and the dildo is on her porch. I don’t get it.

    I imagine he isn’t the ‘dildo type’ anyway.

  24. “holly f*ck” :)

  25. *shakes head* Talk about an ungrateful bitch. She could’ve at least gotten a laugh out of it.

  26. “omg omg omg, my bf wants me to feel good tinglies in my nether regions! i hope an afghani shoots him! what an asshole!!” >.>

    dude, i know you don’t have many options over there, but.. how about you start looking?

  27. Hmm…is Victoria referring to her own asshole in the original post?

    (waves at Pseudonym)

  28. That poor chap. The only enjoyment he could possibly be getting out there would be the thought of Victoria (probably a dreadful prude)inserting that dildo whilst thinking of him. Now that’s never going to happen. Perhaps she would’ve been happier with a stuffed toy? Goat shaped, of course.

  29. Does anybody else think the lamest part of this is that we don’t get to see her friends’ reactions to the dildo?

  30. Victoria is indeed an ungrateful bitch. When my husband was in Iraq, he sent me a vibrator (via Amazon.com) and that was an AWESOME way to end my bad day at work!! Stupid bitch.

  31. @Wildcat – Aha! Mystery solved!

  32. Whoever asked how he got a hold of a vibrator, you can order them from overstock.com and have them shipped directly to any address. They also have blow up dolls. Just in case anyone is interested…

  33. There are rules and regulations as to what sites you can access from Muslim countries. Just sayin’. Looking out over my green hills…

  34. There are sex-starved women in need all over the world, this is just offensive.
    And I’d like to see the look on the postman’s face when he sees a dildo addressed “to Afghan”.

  35. @teo the goats are doing their Mexican wave for you. I went in the pen just for you.

  36. @ Jambalaya
    it would have to say إلى أفغانستان so the postie could read it.

  37. Shut up.

  38. Me?

  39. you guys are way more funny than this post!!!

    @ peachy (32) bwahahaaaaa STFU!

  40. LMAO @ ME “way more funnier.” asshole.

    way more funny, or way funnier, def. not way more funnier.. sorry. I ruined the laughs…

  41. I’m just “high on the hill with a lonely goat, yodelayee yodelayee yodelayeeheehoo”

  42. I would have thought a dildo would be a great present to find on your doorstep. Unless it was used.

  43. @bdie
    I concur

  44. Well this has been fun but the wine goats need bleeding (different process). If anyone’s interested I’ll try to update you but my reception on my MacGyver upgraded typewriter is fading. My goats are waving but the kids are busy with some kind of snake puzzle with Rupert, the other poor lonely old man, second hill down to the left from mine.

  45. I think everyone would have been more understanding if she had mentioned the dildo came with a video showing her boyfriend and his buddies using it on each other.

  46. CommentsAtLarge

    This is what the guy is coming home to? Poor bastard.

  47. yawn.

  48. MsBuzzkillington

    I think I’d really enjoy coming up to find a dildo on my doorstep. Assuming that it is in all the packaging and was sent as a gift. Especially if my boyfriend was overseas and he sent me one so I wouldn’t get lonely. That is the best boyfriend ever.

  49. Wow, there are still women out there who pretend they don’t practice self-pleasuring techniques (trying to avoid any filters here.) I bet she doesn’t fart or burp either.

  50. She’s mad because her boyfriend sent her a dildo? This seems more like a problem of worst girlfriend ever, not worst boyfriend. Especially since he’s not there. But even if he was, that doesn’t mean he’d be there 24/7 for her…

  51. There’s nothing worse than a bunch of women having a FB bitchfest.

  52. It might have been a used one! Sometimes, after a long night of loving myself, I like to return the favor and leave my own dildo on someone’s doorstep. Sure, it’s covered in pubes and cat hair, but it’s the thought that counts. Really, her boyfriend was just trying to help! So what if it was originally Achmed’s, the falafel guy near base camp. Personally, I find it quite kinky!

    All this talk of hairy Arab’s dildos is getting my juices flowing. ME-OW~

  53. I can’t believe Victoria reacted that way. How sweet of her boyfriend to send her a dildo so she knows that he wants her to remain sexually satisfied even though he’s gone, and then she bitches about it and announces it to Facebook. What an ungrateful little bitch. I’m surprised she even has friends or a boyfriend with an attitude like that.

  54. Yeah if my boyfriend sent me one, even if he WASNT gone I would still be stoked. If he gets it for me its more personal than if I would get my own. I would think of him while using it <3 lol

  55. @purplepoet get a make your own latex dildo kit and make a copy of your home bone. just in case.

  56. I’ve been noticing a lot lately people using commas instead of periods in succession like that and I don’t get it. I’m sure it’s only bothersome to me but how hard is it to use your pinky finger to hit a key instead of your middle finger?

  57. I think everyone is looking at this from the wrong angle. We know from the comments that she is known for stating that she has the best boyfriend ever, so apparently she does not normally react this way(one hopes). She also implies that it was received with a note telling her to go fuck herself. After the Nanny fiasco this very well could, coming from a professional hit man, be taken as a death threat! o.O Just saying… That said, even if it was a death threat, I’d be impressed. Might as well go happy if you’re gonna go anyways!

  58. there’s no restriction to what websites you can access in muslim countries if you’re in the military,maybe if youre a resident of the muslim country,but defiantly not for people in the military.

    and,i dont understand why she’s so upset,like how is sending your a gf a dildo being an asshole? maybe its good for him,now he doesnt have to be with such a prudish cunt.

  59. ohbabybaby- are you in the military? cause i know i am (currently in Afghanistan) and its not like i can surf the web for porn or watch retards like you get beat the shit out of on youtube. there are ALOT of restricted sites. and you really think that they have internet? they have very limited electricity, water, and gasoline. You must be a relative of Helen Keller, cause you are pretty damn stupid. OH and FYI: not everyone that goes overseas shoots people and has to encounter dead bodies every day let alone a hole deployment!

    Semper Fidelis

  60. Victoria should take that dildo and shove it up her ass. It might just dislodge that perpetual STICK shoved up there. What a bitch.

  61. okay for one, you clearly all need to find a life! Your clearly LAME to be on this site! Yes i did overreact! But who wouldn’t? After i had asked him NOT to. I was ungrateful at first, you guys are all 100% right about that! But me and my boyfriend talked it over and yes i LOVE the gift! I deleted the post afterwards and i was NOT looking for any attention. Not one of you’s know me and actually really understands how open of a person i really am. I dont need attention. I never asked for it. It was a joke taken wrongly! When i said i hope you enjoy it, meaning i was going to be sending it back to him to get just as embarassed as i had! So before you all judge me again! Get a life, k thanks!Your all right i am a fucking bitch and to who posted this, can eat me! Where no longer friends ahahaha. I love my boyfriend VERY much and he loves me. Not one of you can understand how i feel! My boyfriend was over there for 3 months and NOT one letter, but he makes sure he sends me a vibrator. % Oobabybaby, he’s still with me so think about about being a prudish cunt part. Maybe you should slow down there a little.

    So once again, you all need to find a life and stay out of my business! If i was such a bad person, why would we be together now? Or for the lastt 6 years!?

  62. What should my name be?

    Victoria K? No no no…too obvious.

    Vkenner.

    Hope no one spams me on facebook now!

  63. you know what FUCCKK OFF! i dont give a fucking shit what people say or do. Im not adding anyone and no one can see my shit. Get a life please

  64. maybe he should have sent her ‘hooked on phonics’ instead. ‘where no longer friends’. nice grammar, sweetheart. i feel bad for her boyfriend. calling him out on her facebook page for sending a sex toy? from the looks of his fb page, he is pretty attractive too. he could do better.

  65. i’m sorry spilunkerzrule,that you dont know how to use your internet correctly…my brother had no problem doing either of those things while in afghanistan.oh,and f.y.i. helen keller wasnt a retard or anything,she was just deaf and blind,she was actually pretty damn smart.im sure you can google her if you can figure out how to navigate around the tricky interwebs.OH,and i’m glad you dont spend your HOLE time over seas killing people & looking at dead bodies,but you had to include that why..?

  66. ohbabybaby and spilunkerzrule- yea, porn sites are blocked over there, but Amazon certainly isn’t. That is probably where he got it.

    I’m guessing Victoria was a skank who probably cheated on him, and that was his revenge. Love it. Hope it was a cheap dildo.

  67. oh deaaaaar, and I thought all the crazies were from America. Guess not…

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