Monday, January 18, 2010

The Languages of Love

previous post: Little Wins to Start Your Week

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45 Comments

  1. nonsense

  2. wtf?

  3. The first & last ones have me so baffled that I really don’t know what to say…I am actually speechless because I have no idea what either of them are trying to say.

  4. Man, I can totally relate to Marie.

  5. I’m going to need one of those Sensible Madness translations!

  6. “im so fuken tied i wana go too bed butt im waitin 4 u to cum home” = sodomy bondage?

  7. i would also like a translation :p

  8. I need a thug translator. Anyone know if Google will add that?

  9. @ Andrizzle. I’m with you on the last one… I literally don’t know what they’re talking about…. what is ‘ant’ (apart from a little bug)?

  10. I am assuming it goes like this:

    Click, clack, pow (gun sound maybe?). Someone down, it ain’t me, so don’t stress, it ain’t me, chill it, it ain’t me.

    OR

    Bang! Someone is down, but it isn’t me, so it is okay. It isn’t me so chill out, it isn’t me-laughing.

  11. Shouldn’t this be in the Douchebag category and not the Relationship category (D-bag since there’s now poor spelling/grammar/new-language category)?

    And kissing is now that much of a cheating offense for college students? Does he go to Liberty?

  12. Juanita M is a rotten girl, but has a fine sense of humor. Didn’t understand the rest.

  13. Well, here’s the best translation/paraphrase I can muster on #3:

    Lachlan: Click clack, pow! Someone is down, it isn’t me, so don’t stress it. It isn’t me, chill. It isn’t me.
    Marie: Lachlan, you know about my past! You shouldn’t even be saying that sh*t. I’m so incredibly tired, I want to go to bed, but I’m waiting for you to come home. Lockie, please wake up to yourself, please. (?)
    Marie: That really really pisses me the fuck off! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this shit. Yeah, I’m going to remember everything you said tonight, don’t worry. I never thought you would ever say that shit. I just want to sleep. And I can’t, because I’m worried about you, you fucking meanie!

    (Fucking meanie? Either a wee bit MORE badass, or less. Those two words don’t go together, lol!)

    It sounds like Marie has the habit of dating gangster guys, who don’t say the right thing (“You know about my past! You shouldn’t even be saying that shit”) She’s obviously wanting to put out their laundry for everyone to see, because, as his status say, apparently she doesn’t have a problem with him poppin’ a cap in yo’ ass, but moreso what he said that evening.

    Hope this helps! =)

  14. nobody named Dustin ever wins

  15. i’m so tied after reading this crap

  16. C. Proseedcake KSC

    Got it! It took me an age to figure what the people in number three are referring to, but I’ve worked it out. Oh ouch. Oh it’s not really funny when you know what it means.

    Lachlan posts some song lyrics which translate as POW! Someone has been shot, but don’t worry, because it isn’t me. Marie reacts angrily because of her “past” — presumably someone she knows has been shot before. She is worried because Lachlan is out late, putting himself in danger. Her fear, and consequently her anger, grows as she keeps waiting and he doesn’t come home.

  17. @bry: Thank God you understood that. I’ve been trying to figure it out for the past 10 min.

  18. 14 kids???

  19. DID EVERYBODY MISS 14 KIDS?!?

  20. I think I just became a little bit dumber for having read this. Such a fool for trying to understand gibberish.

  21. It is a shame the last post was so economical with letters only to screw it up adding an extra ‘t’ to ‘butt’

  22. 14 kids – maybe they were chaperoning a field trip…

  23. I really need help with the first one. I understand what’s being said…I just don’t understand WHY! It makes no sense to me.

  24. I actually did notice the 14 kids part, but that just contributed to the fact that I really had no idea what was going on.

  25. @22- I really hope they weren’t responsible for 14 children’s lives. If so, poor poor kids.

    Also, hello Lamebook. Goodbye productivity.

  26. they made out???? WITH TONGUE?!?!? say it ain’t so…also please tell me I didn’t travel back in time to junior high school…

  27. Marie needs to learn not to drink and Facebook. Actually maybe they should both remove themselves from public viewing or just the world in general. Just saying.

  28. clearly juanita is happy to be rid of dustin

  29. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    wait, “with tongue?” is there any other way to make out?

    i guess there’s ‘without tongue’ but you can trade that for the more accurate adjective ‘badly’

  30. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    adverb*

  31. Oh lordy, this hurt my head!

  32. What a fucktard Justin is, if i were him i would try to fuck her mom just to get back at her.

  33. 14 kids? I bet Crystal’s got a vag like a hippo’s yawn. It must be like opening a window and shagging the night.

  34. That would make him a pathetic motherf****r

  35. Marie just looks crazy because I think someone deleted the comment she replied to, so she just looks a biit kooky

  36. Yeah really guys.. 14 kids!?!? WAIT WAIT.. I KNOW THIS ONE! does she live in a shoe?!?!?!?

    and I fully agree with Lulla

    tied + butt + cum = Gangster Prison Sex?

    Damn Marie.. I hope you read a book while you’re there

  37. @Mark Lee: Juanita may be rotten, but Dustin’s not exactly a genius for giving a cheater a second chance.

  38. @humans – once a whore always a whore. there are no exceptions.

  39. @ Bry… thanks for the translation, you should work in prisons, or something.

  40. @Dustin – although the heartbroken guy sobbing in public gets the chic in the movies, it just makes you look like a pussy in real life. Stop your fuckin crying dude you brought this shit on yourself. So either stop getting involved with whores and being treated like a sucker, or continue to be a glutton for punishment and enjoy the soft warm wet feeling of your tear soaked pillow.

  41. It’s the only soft, warm and wet feeling Dustin can get

  42. Stay in school, kids!

  43. waltheof: I promise you, I’m not proud of my mad thug skillz, homie G. Though if the prisons pay well…

  44. Dustin forgot about Luka on the 2nd floor.. :(

    Lachlan + Marie: typing in full sentences may.. MAY be hard. Extra KEY strokes.. it’s all it takes.. maybe a brain.. *Bows head and worries about our future generation*

  45. 1) Juanita made me laugh hard. She’s classy.

    2) By the FUCK, what is Crystal talking about? My only guess is that she and her lesbian lover went on some sort of youth trip, possibly for church. With the lesbian lover’s husband. Or maybe original Crystal’s husband?

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