Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Good Fight

previous post: Not so Shore

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94 Comments

  1. tl;dr

  2. It kinda seems like she’s talking to herself..

  3. I honestly cannot believe I just read all of that. Damn it.

  4. I second that mass. Haven’t read a single sentence. Next!

  5. These really long one-entry posts are getting really old, and have always been really boring.

  6. Jesus… was there a punchline after this fucking ESSAY?

  7. Can’t believe brit gave up mma training – sheesh!

  8. tl;dr

    And you guys thought I talked too damn much. Maybe later when I don’t have a life to tend to. :/

    But I notice just from skimming that they have yet to learn about paragraphs and punctuation in their 3rd grade class.

  9. Too many grammatical errors. Unable to read. Going blind.

  10. Anyone want to explain what happened? Since I really can’t be arsed to read it. :)

  11. … off to the Solly Kramer.

  12. lol. Good come back Shelley :)

  13. @blondebimbo – I’m right there with you. WTF was I thinking? That it was going to get better? I never read these long posts, yet for some reason, I thought it would be different. Ugh – so not kew!

  14. From the sounds of things, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time reading this. tl;dr once again…

  15. Oh, it’s worth a read if you love watching the dramz from afar.

    Now, if I’d only had some popcorn to go along with this mini soap opera…

  16. USE A GOOD DAMN COMMA. I HATE READING SHORT STATEMENTS. LIKE THAT. IT MAKES ME READ IT LIKE A ROBOT.

  17. Ow. ow. ow. ow. ow…. Yeah i made it through half of the first thing Liz said. then said fuck it. and scrolled. and scrolled. and scrolled some more…

  18. Who wants to place bets on whether or not Joshua went to Kirkwood?

  19. GOD* In all my rage, upon realization that i had just wasted a fucktonne of time to read what appeared to be an essay, written by dyslexic robot suffering from aspergers syndrome, i mistyped a word. Oh my. )’:

    On a side note: This post was certainly lame – but i didn’t get one laugh (or even a smirk) out of it – which sucks.

    On a more to the side, side note: What job does she have in which she watches movies and blows dudes holding lights?

  20. written by a* I give up.

  21. well, no wonder you like the fucking cowboys.

  22. Couldn’t be bothered to read it either..seems like too much drama for too little living.

  23. I tried to read it all, but just couldn’t! I did LOL though cause I read “Bastured children” as pastured children! :)

  24. they deserve each other

  25. I’ll read later, when I’m drunk and bored at home…

  26. I thought Elizabeth was Josh’s mom at first. LOL

  27. Lamebook always boosts my self-esteem by at least 10pts. I’d kick my own ass if I ever had this much drama in my life, or worse yet, had the gall to air my lack of maturity and grammar skills on the interwebz for all to see.

  28. I got as far as Elizabeth’s curious definition of ‘bastard.’ I tried to find interesting parts after that, but no.

  29. Sigh… I cannot be bothered to even read that Its so long…

    This is how it should be…

    Guy calls woman a Bitch.
    Woman calls guy a dick.
    They say sorry to each other and have make up sex. The end.

    I don’t care…DIE, I hate you.

  30. I don’t know either of these people and I want to block them permanently. From the human race, if possible.

  31. i miss hobo.

    are you there, hobo?

  32. Trying to scoop out my eyeballs right now, it’s almost as painful as reading that shit. Wait… Maybe I should reconsider since it’s already done it’s damage and destroyed a few million brain cells. I did get a kick out of the idea of pasturized children, lol. Maybe a baby mill would be as popular as a puppy mill?

  33. All 3 should be shot, but the one who brings up the palsied sister should be tortured first. Low blow.

  34. They were born to let each other down.

  35. Somebody sum it up, please? That’s way too fucking long. I saw the first comment and could not be bothered. And seeing the rest of the comments, I was right on in my laziness.

    Actually, I’m going to skim, and save others the trouble of reading it.

    So, Elizabeth… and angry… uh… Brittany… something about Joshu… fuck you, Lamebook, I’m not reading this shit. Elizabeth, Brittany, Joshua, you boring, boring assholes.

  36. I agree with mass: tl;dr

  37. This is a monumental conflagration of retort counter retort. Spiteful acid comment vs hate filled invective.

    Some may not want to read fully, the long, protracted harshly fought argument above so I will some it up for you all succinctly.

    Cunts, their all massive Cunts.

  38. “wow is all I can honestly say to that” – why couldn’t she have left it at that. Fucking hell. Could someone tell me what tl;dr means? My head hurts too much now to think about it.

  39. curly, tl;dr is too long, didn’t read, which is something I have never seen be more applicable than this post.

  40. You don’t need to read it to get it, the point isn’t what they are saying, but why the fuck are they saying it on facebook! Why can’t I have friends like this :(

  41. Ah right thanks Hobo. God it was hard to read!

  42. I READ IT ALL! Do I get a cookie?

  43. zip

  44. button?

  45. ‘jeans for $200, Alex’

  46. Paint_my_nails_please

    I can’t believe I read the whole thing.

    And I can’t stand to read it again, but did this say that the job she has that’s getting her through college has got something to do with watching movies, orange lights and blow jobs – is at Walmart? Not my Walmart.

  47. no i think Brittany works at the movie theater and Elizabeth works at Wal-Mart. i just wasted several minutes looking at this. Poopaloop was right, the amusing bit was only that there was this ridiculous rant on Facebook, not the actual contents.

  48. tl;dr
    Are they talking in one long, incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic so that no one would have a chance to interrupt them with hypnotic effect or talking with themselves

  49. i’m back!!! you guys probably dont care but its whatever.

    i gave up after i saw how long it was.

  50. Yo candidcamera.

  51. Did I just say yo? I hate myself.

  52. aww someone does care! Thank you Hobo and for the record, youre hilarious

  53. 10 words into the first post i got bored and skipped to the end. from the sounds of it the best post is the last one.

  54. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Fuck me.

  55. I hope all three of these wretched people see their postings made Lamebook, read our comments, and turn themselves inside out with shame.

    Just die. All three of you. Die horribly and alone.

  56. Can’t be bothered to read all of that, but does Elizabeth think Lori will actually read it? If Lori blocked her, she won’t see any of her posts, no matter whose wall it’s on.

  57. I skimmed it, thinking it might get better, but the consensus was right on: So. Bloody. Boring.

    This was lame only in the sense that it was a freaking novel of drama posted on FB. There was nothing funny-lame about it. Jane Austen novel’s are both more entertaining, and less drama-filled, that this drivel. And I *hate* Jane Austen novels.

  58. *than this drivel. Oy, long day…

  59. @13 jfwilliams, yeah seriously not kew…and I thought simply being blonde dumped my IQ down a few points, not sure I have much left after all of that. I too thought, “Hey, MAYBE somehow this could get good…okay maybe now…no? Okay…now? Nope. Oh shit I just read it all.” Honestly poor decision making on my part.

    @candid Helloooo!!! Off spilling my secrets to the internet again were you?

    @Everyone who read it all and complained because they too read it all and are now in dis belief: Ef our lives, poor choice. I think the general consensus was “Can’t believe I read that all.” or “Fuck that I did not read that.”

  60. Pretty much:
    Lori (Brittany’s mom) heard Elizabeth talking shit about Brittany at Brittany’s work.
    Brittany used to date Josh, who is currently dating Elizabeth.
    They are both whores. Elizabeth has bastard children (born out of wedlock) but she takes offence and starts bitching out Lori’s other daughter, Brittany’s sister, who has CP. (A disease)
    They yell at each other some more.
    Elizabeth is currently in college, but Brittany says it sucks because Elizabeth can’t spell.
    Josh comes in a tells Brittany that she’s a whore, and that she sucks black cock and that he loves Elizabeth.

    If this post describing the tl;dr post is tl;dr then: Dumb b itches fight.

  61. @ijklomarissa Her children may be bastard children but they are certainly not bastured children.

  62. @Stompeh- movie theatre. She watches movies and blows the guys with lights who come into the theatre sometimes.

  63. @blondebimbo: My mind automatically corrected that, it can only take so much.. horror! hahah, but I went backed and looked, and ended up cracking up :)

  64. cracking up because I missed the spelling.

    Damn you lamebook, posting before I’m finished so I post like four times in a row!
    SORRY GUYS!

  65. @ijklomarissa I literally had to read it twice because I needed to be sure of what she was shooting for bastard children….then when she described the daddy situation I fully understood…that she not only didn’t know how to spell bastard, but didn’t even know what it meant. Double fail?

  66. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    Mad props to anyone who actually read this whole thing. I tried… and failed.

  67. tl;dr

  68. I read it all…and I wish I hadn’t. Brittany wins, just for the sake of having intelligence and proper grammar usage. Also, she didn’t curse every other word..intelligence > cursing when trying to make a point.

  69. I find fucking cursing when fucking trying to fucking make a fucking point fucking effective. FUCK! ASS!

  70. Also, I just noticed that Josh implies black men have lower standards for blow jobs than white men. Racist bastard.

  71. @mad2 Tourette’s Guy?

  72. SnookiWantSmushSmush

    The only joy I got from attempting to read that crap was watching the letters shift and move and twist…Gosh i love Ambien

  73. Keona I assume you mean the ‘FUCK! ASS!’? – that is from The Boondock Saints, quite possibly the world’s greatest film of all time (with the most disappointing sequel). It has the second-largest amount of use of the word ‘fuck’ of any commercial film (or is it 1st?).
    ‘Destroy all that which is evil… so that which is good may flourish.’

  74. 72, my body’s grown accustomed to it. Sadly, all I do is conk out.

    mad2, I’ve heard so many people say that movie kicks ass, but have still yet to watch it.

  75. I nominate SAUNKHOGBEN for Best Comment!

    @mad2 #69 (<–lol!) you almost got me starting to talk about BJ's again what with black men added into the mix and all (squee!). :P But, that statement alone was likely more than TMI.

    OK I'm gonna go knock down a few shots of Whatever-I-can-find-lying-around and attempt to read the original post here.

  76. Who are these people and where are these stores?

    I want to hear the real story. Maybe they’re having a sale on truth.

  77. After reading the whole thing, I can’t be botherd to read the comments, so in summary;
    Brit’s mother supposidly heared Liz “bad mouthing” Brit and Brit’s sister in Walmart.
    Liz supposidly hates Brit because she was Josh’s ex.
    Brit supposidly hates Liz because she is now with Josh.
    Josh puts in his two cents, making a dick out of himself, but at the same time causes everyone to shut their mouths.
    Anti-lulz happened when this comment was made.

    The End.

  78. All I have to say about this hole post after reading it completly is;

    WAL-MART = Epic

  79. I looked at this, thought to myself: “TL;DR”…..

    ..and then read it anyways.

  80. In my professional opinion, the people that can’t (or won’t) use the proper “theres” and “yours” are the same ones visit public bathrooms just to piss on the toilet seats.

    And if I had to be around someone who used the term, “kew” for “cool”, I’d rip my gorgeous red hair out by the roots.

  81. i can not be bothered to read this crap.

  82. but i can be bothered to tell you all about how I can’t be bothered to read it. I have priorities.

  83. Shelley… This black man would like you to elaborate

  84. Wow… I read it all, but my excuse is I’m used to reading stuff eve more badly written for work, and I seriously needed a break.

    What *really* matters here is Boondock Saints DOES kick ass and is a must-see, though not the sequel, unfortunately.

    This lurker thanks you for explaining tl;dr, I’ll take that advice next time!

  85. The saddest thing is that these people seem to be reproducing.

  86. At least Brittany is writing in paragraphs. I wanted to bang my head against my desk when I got to Joshua’s rant. It shows that he is one smart dude (sarcasm.jpg). Joshua should have a vasectomy or better yet, a castration so he doesn’t reproduce at all. Elizabeth sadly gave birth to children but should get her tubes tied so she doesn’t breed again.

    And I respect Brittany for defending her sister. Anyone who insults a handicapped person should be shot.

  87. mymomruinedfacebook

    I read the whole thing. Yall missed out on some hilarious shit in the middle,from Elizabeth who seems to be a lot dumber than Britney. It was so idiotic it was almost Michael Scott-like:

    “Also stories are stories. No one knows the real stories except the people in the stores. No one knows my real stories expect me. Like stories about you. Correct? I can hear stories all day long about you doesn’t mean they are correct cause only you would know. So these ‘stories’ could be right or wrong but you weren’t there and you don’t know me so there for you don’t know shit.”

    One of my favorites from Joshua’s speech:
    “next time your mom is at wal mart listening in to other people’s ‘supposed’ conversation, tell her to pick you up some fucking tissues, and both of you some diapers to put over your shit talking mouths you dumb cunt. no wonder you like the cowboys, your both fucking losers, and nobody gives a shit about either of you, go fucking figure.”

  88. I have no idea what’s going on. Elizabeth has some kind of problem with Lori and had to post about it on Joshua’s wall but Lori isn’t friends with Joshua so Brittney had to respond.

    Uh?

  89. Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  90. ROTFL @ carrieglitter!! I LOVE Billy Madison!

  91. Sorry, you couldn’t pay me any amount of money to sit and read through this. carrieglitter has made my day.

  92. I fully regret clicking “Read the rest of this entry >>”.

  93. Oh my god, why did I not heed #92′s warning…I regret everything and nothing.

  94. Blah blah blah blah something something… Aka tl;dr.

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