Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Date Ended Prematurely

date-ended-early

previous post: Winter Wankerland

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75 Comments

  1. He was fucked once he ordered cranapple anyway.

  2. @Neaonjack hahahaha genius

  3. *Neonjack.

    Compliment fail.

  4. Fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap,fap…….

  5. I feel sorry for the dude. It was probably his first date. Maybe it’s a nerdy type without dating experience. He must have been a bit nervous.

  6. Maybe he was into auto-asphyxiation and that was his intention to sponk in his kex.

  7. Poor dude. I feel bad for him. We women can be so rough on guys (geeks). She should be taking all three (spilling drink, spilling seed, and asthma attack) as a compliment, not publicly ridiculing the guy!

    It means he is awkward, shy, and yes Jackie, probably a virgin, and oh yeah, thinks you are seriously HOT.

  8. Poor guy.

  9. “don’t think its gunna work out”?
    Yeah, because I’m sure he totally MEANT to spill the juice on her dress. And he jizzed INTENTIONALLY as some piggish form of a display of manhood, right? How crude. And then that asthma attack? Well, only TOTAL JERKS have asthma, right? I mean, lyke, oh my god, if he can’t even breathe right he must be a TOTAL LOSER! God would never give asthma to a COOL guy.

    Superficial bitch.

  10. @NeenerNeener: Really? Let’s assume for a minute that you are a girl. I sincerely doubt that you would just LOVE a guy who, albeit accidentally, spills drinks on you and randomly cums in his pants (I’ll excuse the asthma attack, as I, too, have asthma and he can’t control it). The dude was obviously a nerd. You can’t fault her for not being a nerd lover.

    I loled at the OP ’cause it reminded me of the nerd from Robot Chicken on a date.

  11. I only come in my birthday suit.

  12. @ Well, no, I wouldn’t love having my hypothetical dress stained, but I wouldn’t hold it against the poor guy. Accidents happen to everyone. If I accidentally spilled something on someone, it certainly wouldn’t mean I was an awful person who someone should never date. It would mean that I accidentally knocked something over.
    Cumming in his pants would be extremely awkward, but also, we don’t know the situation that caused it. If they went somewhere and were dryhumping, yeah, can’t really blame him if he got a little excited, and that wouldn’t be totally uncalled for. If it were completely random, yeah, awkward as hell, but it doesn’t mean he could really control it, I mean, unless he was fapping under the table at dinner or something. If he was, then yeah, weirdo.
    All the things she listed as “faults” against him weren’t things he did intentionally. All things are awkward and unpleasant, but not a reason to not give the poor guy a chance. Automatically ruling a guy out because he was awkward (or “nerd,” I guess) is, yeah, being a superficial bitch.
    But hey, I don’t think anyone really expects to find a deep, long-term relationship on a blind date anyway, so her attitude isn’t surprising.

  13. I fail at copy/pasting. @Vlamenni*

  14. @Vlamenni & NeenerNeener
    I think she should be able to forgive him, I once threw up on a girls shoes while she was still in them and they were totally ruined. She has forgiven me. I’d say that is a much worse situation when you’ve only known someone for 2 days.

  15. i think i went out with that guy, too.

  16. i think i am that guy

  17. I agree with OP. I would never date a guy again if he jizzed in his pants!! Obviously very very bad in bed which equals bad times for me.. Selfish? Possibly, but why does he have all the fun??

  18. I tried a blind date once. We both kept running into walls. We agreed the blindfolds were too much.

  19. Sounds like the beginning of a new Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie.

  20. It wouldn’t be half as funny without the cranapple part.

  21. JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS!

  22. @7 Kal
    Ahahahaaa 😀 Me, too.

  23. Dayum!! You gotta be a straight up bama to Jizz in your pants AND have an asthma attack.. “Where’s my inhaler AHHHHHHHHH!!!! OOps, want another Cranapple juice baby?”. GTFOH. Lmao

  24. My son had asthma as a child. It’s a serious and frightening disease, not a scene from a sitcom. If you’re interested in experiencing what it is like, tie a plastic bag over your head and punch a pinhole in it where your mouth is.

    The image she paints of the data as a whole is funny, though!

  25. *date

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