ah, alex…if we had a nickel for every time you were at a party or at work or in class or at AA or at the gym or perhaps at the DMV or maybe even at line in the at the bank or at the bar or in the produce section at the grocery store and you are chatting and/or kissing a dude in front of another dude who you sucked off, GIRL, we would have a whole ‘lotta nickels…’amma right???
for all of you who dont get what the big deal is, its fucking disgusting, maybe im just old before my time at 23, but i sure as hell dont wanna kiss a girl who sucked my mates dick in the same night, its border line gay.
If you have sex or you masturbate and then you go sit on the toilet, you roll up your first great big wad of toilet paper getting ready to stand up to wipe, and you notice a small drop of semen on your penis, maybe it’s going to drip on the floor if you don’t wipe it, so you wipe it, now you have a great big wad of toilet paper with a small bit of your own cum on it, you could fold the cum to the middle and hope it doesn’t make contact with your ass, but if it does, if that cum does touch your ass, then does that mean you’re gay? I don’t know. But I always just squeeze that cum-infested wad of tp down into the toilet and start on a new wad, just in case.
this one time my brother-in-law kissed my ex boyfriend steven for a bet at his anniversary party (he’s married to my sister). little did he know that literally minutes earlier, steven had been greedily rimming me in the kitchen under the pretext of frosting the chocolate fudge surprise. i got drunk and told my sister, who failed to see the funny side and emptied great aunt sally’s colostomy bag into my gin flirtini.
that was one of the most dismal attempts at starting an internet argument ever. it wasn’t funny, it wasn’t provocative, it wasn’t original. just incredibly dull. and people wonder why the lamebook comments section has gone to the dogs!