Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Thanks For Sharing

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56 Comments

  1. christopherlovet

    Yeah I’ll just take the JUNIOR bacon double chee, the JUNIOR. I’m trying to watch my figure, see. And the SMALL, the SMALL salted curlies, the SMALL. What else, what else. I need a half Coke and half Diet Coke. Gotta lessen my caloric intake, tryin to lose some extra weight. I want chicken nuggets, but not six. I just want FOUR chicken nuggets instead of six. And the SMALL chocolate shake, the SMALL! Got that?

  2. ^ “Okay, uh…Fuck my ass, what else? Give me, uh…alright. Cherries Jubilee
    and that’s it.”

  3. butterscotchcandy

    When did “smh” become a noun? What the hell is an “ultimate smh”?

  4. Karl- I suspect your score has always been and will always be 0. Had you somehow masterfully pulled off this brilliant maeuver without soiling yourself we would still think you are an idiot. Speaking of which, didn’t people used to go to great lengths to hide when they did stupid things?
    Jordan- I just ‘spilt’ brain cells on my Jordan tshirt. Oh the irony.
    Christina- This is one of my favorite phenomenons irl. I always get a chuckle when I’m in line at grocers and there is some 350 lb chick with ‘lite’ cool whip. ‘Cause you’re gonna put that on what? diet apple pie? ‘lite’ banana split?

  5. ITT: fat people jokes.

  6. hootie the blowfish

    Karl, if it’s any consolation, you would still be a loser even if you hadn’t shit your pants.

  7. Because people actually sit behind their computer screen/phone and shake their head

  8. sisqi – Christina and all the fatties in your grocery store queue put Lite Cool Whip on their ‘diet’ lardass husbands.

  9. “Diet” anything is so stupid and most often defeats the purpose. “Diet” cookies are only 10 calories less than regular cookies, and they taste terrible. “Diet” soda makes you crave more sweets. “Diet” or “lite” dairy products taste like plastic, and maybe have 20 calories less than their regular counterparts. “Diet” food tends to be flavorless, and people tend to eat more of it thinking it’s okay. The only way to keep the weight off is to exercise self control and exercise your body.

  10. 9. right beat? like it’s some big mystery how to lose weight. I’m gonna write a book about all the science that goes into this highly advanced weight loss. My working formula is something like this; calories in > calories out = fat. That’s all I’ve got so far.

  11. Don’t tell people that, beatus and sisqi. If the general public still believes there’s a miracle cure for obesity, I might still be able to make a million dollars from my idea of… um… Detox Asian Celery*

    * Detox Asian Celery is to be consumed 3 times a day with 2 glasses of water. For best results, please combine DAC with a low fat, low calorie, low carbohydrate diet and moderate-to-high exercise levels.

  12. WTF is a smh? And Karl, you are a douche; I hope your dog bites you.

  13. SMH according to Urban Dictionary is Shake My Head.

  14. I’m writing a diet book too, Bacchante. It’s my revolutionary PTFFD method.
    Put
    The
    Fucking
    Fork
    Down

  15. Bacchante, you need to come up with a slightly different product. Might I suggest Detoxifying International Cucumber and Kale?

  16. PTFFD might actually work!

    Who made you the expert on scam diet products, beatus? Huh? I happen to know for a fact that stupid white people have a bizarre superstitious faith in the miracles of Asian treatments.

    So you go over there and spruik your Detoxifying International Cucumber and Kale product, and at the end of 2012, let’s see who’s made the most moulah off stupid, overfed Americans consumers.

  17. Well, eating DICK three times a day can certainly help a woman lose weight. Or at least help her get some exercise.

  18. ^ There’s a diet scam, right there. Okay, I take it back… You’re an expert.

  19. It’s a bit restrictive, though. There’s just as many fat mens wobbling about, you know. I had to put my mate on a strict vagitarian diet.

  20. A beluga whale isn’t even the fattest of ocean dwellers. And , a toy fucking beluga whale that glows in the dark ? I think being calorie conscious and still ordering fast food, is calorie ignorance. Ultimate don’t give a fuck.

  21. @16 how long did it take you to Google all those stupid fucking references ?

  22. “Haha she’s fat so she’s funny and lazy and greedy so it’s OK for all of us to criticise and make fun of her, when we don’t even really know if she is fat”

  23. PTFFD is good in theory until they inevitably use their fat hands to shovel food into their claptraps. Fat people are insatiable.

  24. Uh, Flames, to which references do you refer?

    But three cheers for you! You now know that Google exists, even if you don’t yet know how to operate it!

  25. SLG – it’s a good thing that she didn’t buy Kentucky Fried Chicken, otherwise we would have made her black as well.

  26. SLG – just to be clear…you came to a site that is dedicated to making fun of people so that you could defend them all? Could be the NY Times has a website where people are all polite and reverant and pretending they aren’t judging others, but, um, criticizing is kind of our thing here. Speaking of which, gluttony is a sin, twinkie eater.

  27. I just carefully re-read this entire multiparty aneurism and do you know how many instances there were of anybody directly derogatising Christina?

    none.

    you people disgust me.

  28. ^ Point taken. People derogatising other people is pretty much the best kind of humour. Apart from someone being dumb and injuring themselves.

  29. Except that MsAnne is just as guilty of her accusations as the rest of us are, so I think I’ll be the first.

    Christina, lose some weight you fat bitch.

  30. SMH? How awfully polite. Beats the last one I had to have explained to me and in public too ….. SMD.

  31. Apparently i pay more attention to the comments than original posts as just realised the irony of the fat whore getting a kids meal to be calorie conscious.
    Yeah you fucking water mammal, do more swimming.

  32. ^ Starving Miniature Donkey? What’s so embarrassing about THAT?

  33. HOLD UP.

    Important question: Bacchante – where can I purchase Detox Asian Celery??

    Secondary point: I bet Christina sucks cock like she’s imitating a windmill. I bet she’s also a hooker who is being heckled about her weight by her pimp.

  34. fuckingadude – that’s the best thing; I can deliver DAC anywhere in the world!! Just enter your postal details, credit card number, expiry date and CCV in one of the below comments, and I will send you the dehydrated diet wonder product. Just add water (and exercise)!

    beatus – see, mofo, I told you this shit was marketable!

  35. Yeah, but my D.I.C.K. is real, and it can be quite a mouthful.

  36. For a man who lives in Vegas, why do you think that D.I.C.K. is so rare and/or coveted?

  37. I hope SLG is happy with its Internet Whiteknighting. It went well.

  38. Who said anything about D.I.C.K. being rare? You eat it raw.

  39. Haha fat jokes are funny. Think I’ll go eat some more twinkies. Ignorant fucks.

  40. ^fo’ sure. The sooner you wobbly fucking monsters all have coronaries, the cheaper healthcare will be for normal-sized people.
    I swear I have more time for drug addicts than I do for disgusting food addicts.

  41. Why do you assume that because I don’t like people being insulting/providing misguided dietary advice over an ASSUMPTION that someone else is fat, I’m also fat? Interesting leap of logic there. You are quite mistaken. That’s a pretty awful attitude though, MsAnne, I’m sure it was just an attempt at levity though, right? I don’t like lazy, greedy people either. But insulting (assumedly) fat people and such is a bit of a slam dunk, no? Isn’t that also lazy? Next we’ll be doing fart jokes. Awesome, can’t wait.

  42. I made the assumption based on your name. I just assumed you were trying to spell out ‘SLUG’ but you’re too fat and lazy to spell it correctly.

  43. Did I ever tell you all about the man who went to the doctor because whenever he farted, his farts said, “Honda”? Well, turns out, he had an abscess, because “Abscess makes the fart go Honda.”

  44. * Absinthe makes the legs to wander.

  45. Ah I see, but again, mistaken. It’s one of those things known as an “acronym”. Since we’re playing the assumption game, can I have a go? Alright, here’s mine – I assume from the amount of time you must spend on Lamebook, that your butt is roughly the same shape as the chair you sit on, it would just have to be! Also, given the amount of time you spend on here, you couldn’t be in all that spectacular shape, so your derision of other peoples body shapes is probably out of place. Just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you’re healthy, or not lazy.
    This is a fun game! :-)

  46. does it make you feel better, slug? do you feel like less of a fucking whale?

  47. I apologize for this, but Stupid Lazy Girl was the first thing that came to mind. I’m not picking on you, I’m just saying that the acronymn kind of screamed that at me.

  48. Sad Limp Git?
    Sexless Lunatic Gastropod?
    Sloppy Loose Gash?
    Swollen Lard-assed Gargantuan?

  49. hahaha…yeh…silly little girl…slit-licking guy, all KINDS of stuff, ive had fun with the acronym too. it’s an old nick that i got after a huge night out…really can’t be bothered explaining. it’s all good beatus, and msanne, you can make fun of a 3 letter acronym all you like, promise i won’t get hurt! Go for it, I’ll use em. None of those were all that good though, maybe try a little harder. And yeah, it made me feel heaps better playing, thanks for asking!
    The truth is that I simply don’t have the same amount of time to spend on Lamebook you do, MsAnne, despite having quite a lot of free time at the moment, because I spend a lot of my time training. I spend hours every day on it, so I can absolutely 100% guarantee you I’m in better shape than you.
    You forgot to mention whether or not I was right in my assumptions about your butt-shape. It’s not as much fun if I don’t get any feedback. C’mon, put a better effort in! I bet I’m right!
    Going back to my original point, making fun of fat people is a cheap thrill at best and is evidence of a bullying type of mentality. I’m right, you know it, and no amount of attacking me will change that. You guys have every right to be a bunch of wankers if you want, and I have every right to call you on it, and I will.

  50. I don’t care what you do. I just wish you’d stop wasting so much oxygen. And lay off the cream pies, chubby.

  51. weak..! alright i’m bored with this one

  52. or just off in search of a snack?

  53. nah truly bored…there’s just nothing to latch on to in this exchange for me. just talk of fattiness and snacks and such, and no attempt to argue the issue, or even respond to my crazy accusations about your arse-shape. you’re not even being that insulting. utterly, utterly dull. definitely not your best work. i was even hoping that you might get in a decent parting shot, but nah…still weak. not to worry, there’s always another day/comment thread!
    ……..unless…you wanna try again?

  54. no, wobbles. it doesn’t work like that. you don’t say “I’m bored and I’m blubbering off” and then come right back…it makes you look desperate. Even sabababebba learned that one.

  55. OK so fat jokes it is then – MsAnne, you’re so fat, you’re close to everything.

  56. see? I fucking knew you didn’t belong on the moral high ground. Personally, it gives me nose-bleeds.

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