Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Tales of TMI

previous post: Itsy-Bitsy Issues

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144 Comments

  1. Sigourney Weaver + The Alien + That Time of the Month = Lily

  2. krasivaya_devushka

    Omg Lily wtf?? Who posts that shit on their FB page? Eww.

  3. wtf lily?

  4. Seanfish = my new hero, that post is brilliant

    Also….I hope that Lily’s acidic gobblygook turns into projectile and destroys Amy for being a failure at life….

    That is all

  5. LOL @Seanfish!
    Yeah…don’t know what to say…

  6. is wat lily says actuly posibal?

  7. i spose Liy could use that for her advantage, i mean if theres someone she doesn’t like, she can err spray em! what an embarassing way to die, disolving in period blood.

  8. krasivaya_devushka

    hahah :D
    Yes yoink, it is.

  9. i cant be cos then wimens nickas wud disentagraytwoodnt they? an tampons r like cotton wool anit they? if thy dunt disentagrayt then a bed cudnt posibly

  10. Oh great, now I’m even more scared of girls.

  11. I really hope you get that shit fixed, Lily.

  12. Yoink….I don’t know why I’m actually answering this question…but ya.

    Some women have crazy alien ass periods that go all fucktard psychotic and can do shit like that….though it is rare. Also…yes tampons are cotton I think? I don’t use tampons so :S I think their disgusting….but that’s another ENTIRELY different conversation.

  13. an also if it was acid it wud burn inside em an if a guy had sex wiv em it wud burn them wen they did i meen i no its not plesant to hav sex wen a womans ons but it is posibal

  14. *bows*

    And I didn’t even do the obligatory lame frist :P

    Also: Totally yes Amy is a bitch. I hope the SPCA hears her reason for returning the cat and refuses to give her a dog for her to neglect.

  15. how can thy icyangel if it can disentigrayte a bed then surly it gota mes rownd wiv there close an theyl hav a hole in there nickas an be walkin rownd crochles spreddin there acid evrywere i dunt belive that

  16. Amy needs a to be spayed.

    TMI, Lily, TMI. Wonder if her mattress was one of those memory-foam ones. Can’t get those wet or they will disintegrate.

  17. also anit it rspca?

  18. only in britain or canada I think.

    SPCA here in NZ. Maybe ASPCA in states?

  19. yoink, i was thinking the same thing, its rspca down under as well

  20. ASPCA or, more commonly, SPCA here in the States….

  21. krasivaya_devushka

    Yes, it is ASPCA.

  22. waste management

    A voice of sanity: No. Period goo dissolving her bed, lol.. or house? It’s not possible, dudes. FFS.

  23. Whoa Lily, you need to see a doctor. That just isn’t right!

  24. I like how Hayley TRANSFORMED her poop into the caller ID picture for her ex.

    Amy needs to be shot. Seriously, I will do it.

  25. Way to go Toby, those carts always turn me on. Those metal grates, all that rust. Hot!

  26. I’m with Ligonier on this one- except I think you meant spaidd. Some people don’t deserve pets. How much does it cost to have a cat fixed, like 20 bucks?! What a fuckaroon!

  27. I think maybe yoink is tripping. Badly. Someone please tell him not to fear getting severely harmed from period blood.

  28. krasivaya_devushka

    Haha let him think that it’s possible :)

  29. enea i anit tripin im slitely stond but not tripin i dunt fink it is posabal as iv had sex befor wen it was like that an evan tho it was in the bath so nuffin was cumin i dint sting wich i wud if it was acid init?

  30. So did Hayley like mold the shit to transform it into an acceptable picture for caller id? I’m confused. And worried.

    But not as worried as I am about Lily, who should probably visit her doctor for some blood tests, considering if she’s breaking down bed fibers, clothes won’t last long on her crotch.

  31. i no i anit askin in the rite place but just mabe one of u can help wats a maskarade fancy dres meen?

  32. Lily’s friend list just deleted itself

  33. I don’t know how girls work. Do you people have to like, get in an iron box once a month? What CAN’T your periods melt? Could it be used as a sort of superpower, or super-villain power? Could I harness this in some way?

  34. @ mama_corn and ligonier, hate to be anal about spelling but actually it’s “spayd” which is both the singular and the plural form.

  35. Don’t be daft Hobo, we have metal underwear! It chafes a wee bit, but saves the embarrassment of your clothes melting away.

  36. krasivaya_devushka

    lol@ British Hobo!

    @Douchetastic – did you shorten your name or is this someone else haha

  37. waste management

    I have a nice little Kevlar diaper. Wash and go.

  38. Regarding Lily, it’s no surprise that she is a filthy disgusting creature

    As found in Leviticus:

    Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation. And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness.

  39. God, I never heard of that kind of period..I am a women myself and no waaay in hell thats anywhere near normal..she should be checked..
    Maby this is a new some sort of weapon?? Would be some war then lol.

  40. I think Amy’s the one who needs to be spayed.

  41. krasivaya_devushka

    “And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering…”

    OMG WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT THEEE?

  42. waste management

    Leviticus.. is that a pokemon?

  43. @waste management- Leviticus is the evolved form of Deutoronomy.

  44. like i said…crazy alien shit….and it’s not normal.

    Normal women don’t go kamakaze on their bed.

    Also..spaying a cat is actually quite expensive…like around 150-200 dollars….that’s why dumbasses who can’t afford animals let them procreate because they don’t have the money to spay the cat.

    I know my cat for spaying was about 200, my male was around 100. I got them at 5 months so they were already spayed and neutered but…people who get kittens can expect that massive bill. Plus vaccinations are like 60+ dollars each animal….it costs me almost 200 dollars to get both my cats vaccinated yearly.

    Just some information for you all….but in the end Amy still needs to die for being a complete and utter dumbfuck

  45. Sounds more like a Harry Potter spell to me..But hee what do I know. .Its in the middle of the night

  46. It’s true. The Bible does say all that, word for word. But don’t be fooled. I’ve been studying Dannyboy, and I’m sure he’s just a troll. Anyone can find scripture about any subject.

    What I don’t think is true is Lily’s account of her period. I’d be willing to bet that status message was made-to-order for Lamebook, which is very discouraging. What makes this shit so funny is that it isn’t usually meant to be funny, and isn’t meant to be posted on Lamebook. Damnit.

  47. Fuck, U are right. Well I’m going to bed then. Nn all and sweet period dreams lol.

  48. I’m sure she’s exaggerating to make it more noteworthy…but I know some people with poor diets (most of North America sadly) have some pretty messed up mentrual cycles….so though I don’t think it would be that bad….it is probably possible to have an acidic period….maybe her bed was like 20 years old and on it’s way out anyway but to make it sound more dramarific she made it all about her projectile alien blood

  49. It cost $20 to get my cat spayed at the animal shelter…

  50. @IceyAngel Oh, and the vaccines were $15. Where the hell are you getting spay/neutering and vaccinations from?

  51. Actually, a woman’s vag is normally on the acidic side of the scale as a natural defense mechanism against nasty things like yeast and syphilis. During a period (or pregnancy), it becomes less acidic. So there is either something seriously wrong with Lily, or she is exaggerating for attention. Which never happens on the internet, so it’s probably the former.

  52. is getting your cat spayed desexing it? ive never heard of spayed before

  53. i anit fink it matta but i came in my mommas chocolete starfysh evan tho i fink i shud ov put it in her mouf

  54. @IceyAngel, I got all four of my animals (two dogs, two cats – all female) spayed without having to pay full price or a fee on the day of surgery. The same is true for all their yearly vaccinations.

    I pay a pretty small monthly fee (less than $20) per animal to my vet and everything they need is covered. Office visits are free, shots are covered, free yearly teeth cleaning, annual de-worming, etc.

    Also, there are plenty of low cost spay and neuter programs out there. SNAP in Houston will spay a cat for $50.

    So, it’s pure laziness/ignorance on the part of people who don’t spay or neuter their animals.

    And I agree with aadrvark, you should be getting your animal’s procedures done somewhere else. You’re paying waaay too much.

  55. wat the fuck that anit me???????

  56. who the fuck is numba 53? i dint rite that

  57. yoink. don’t do this to me! or i’ll start to suspect that you’re proving that two people can post under the same name…. to cover for fargis because… you’re actually fargis!

    maybe every single poster on here is the same person, some giant troll mastermind!! i need a cup of tea and a tab of acid to calm down…

  58. alord onist to fargises god i dint rite numba 53 how the fuck can that hapen? i dint beleve it iver an evan if u can i stil fink fargis did shoot a lil load but onist to fuck that anit me an i duno how the fuck its there

  59. You’re nasty, Lily. Nobody needs to know that shit.

  60. Flamboyant stereotype

    They should cast Lily in next season of Jersey Shore.

  61. i like that lily got it “all over” the bed. was it projectile? i wonder if she gives lessons. i feel like every girl should have that skill.

  62. Jesse, that was my sister and she was 16.

    Toby, I hope you banged her in all the positions possible on a grocery cart.

    Lily, what the FUCK?!

  63. You can’t change the name you registered with, but you CAN chane your display name – even if someone else is already using it. I could easily click the link in my name above the box and change it to British_Hobo if I really wanted to. ;D

  64. …BritishHobo. God I fail tonight. D:

  65. as to the feasibility of what iloveyoink is saying – http://www.lamebook.com/itsy-bitsy-issues#comments

    read comment 50.

    the mind boggles.

  66. hell, that makes it way too easy to impersonate someone else! now I won’t know when it is really yoink! they need to take care of that problem.

  67. “@ mama_corn and ligonier, hate to be anal about spelling but actually it’s “spayd” which is both the singular and the plural form.”

    @FailedJedi

    Attempt-at-correction FAIL. It’s “spayed,” or “spade” for the plural of “spay.” “Spade” was once considered an obsolete form per the OED, but it’s making a return into modern English, mostly in speech, but occasionally in print.

  68. Even though others have since spelled spayed the right way…I just wanted to point out that FailedJedi TOTALLY FAILED in correcting the way spayed is spelled.
    It’s spayed. not spayd. You can use “to spay” “will spay” or “have spayed”. You can even say “spaying” or “spays”. The pleural and the singular may be different depending on the tense of the word being used.

  69. Dammit! I spent to much time writing mine! You beat me Ligonier.

  70. i thought jedi was being ironic… seeing as mama_corn’s attempt was so wide of the mark i just thought he was parodying that…. :-/

  71. I’d love to meet Amy and beat the crap out of her :D That is all.

  72. Well then, attempt-at-irony FAIL. ;-)

  73. krasivaya_devushka

    I love it when those that are correcting are being corrected for their incorrectness.

  74. hi

  75. Hi alord this is FuckMustard, I was testing to see if more than one person can be the same name I think I just proved it.

  76. Well I am going to go and become me again.

  77. well how did you do it fuckmustard?

  78. i hope the krasi that i’ve been talking to is really krasi!!

  79. I just went into my page and changed my first name to yoink and then set that as what to show for when I post comments.

  80. krasivaya_devushka

    How did you do that?! :O

  81. krasivaya_devushka

    hahaha yes I’m really me and no one else geez :)

  82. I shouldn’t have told, then I could have been anyone muhahaha. Ok I wouldn’t have, but I could have…

  83. Beat her up for being cruel to animals, swamp hen? Sounds rather counter-productive to me.

  84. kras, this is my original name, I had changed it momentarily as I do every often, but I didn’t take well to being called “Rose” for short so I changed it back. Of course now at least one fucker here will call me Rose as a rule from here on out. :P

    Icey, you’re seriously overpaying for altering your cats. Check your local shelters, animal groups, vet schools, etc, your local vets are gouging you.

  85. I’m from Canada….I can get discounts if the animal is from the Humane Society, but it’s still fairly expensive.

    Everything is expensive in Canada though.

    To me…if you can’t afford or are too lazy to spay/neuter your pet…you shouldn’t be allowed to own one….

  86. I can’t seem to get back to my page. Where is the account page?

  87. krasivaya_devushka

    Poor yoink!
    Don’t be me when I leave next week!!! Or else I’ll send Russian mafia to kill you. :)

  88. I only paid 200 for both my cats…they came spayed/neutered and had all their vaccinations.

    I am vaccinating them for their 1 year vaccination is going to be about 60-70 each…not sure how much more with the HST coming into effect on July 1

  89. lamebook need to sort it out. my favourite thing about lamebook is the different personalities we have here. walter wouldn’t be walter if he weren’t in the throes of the male menopause. soup wouldn’t be soup were he not to want to do a big nasty on word. sensiblemadness wouldn’t be the same guy if he couldn’t translate just about anything into legible english. please sort this out, lamebook. i don’t want an army of yoinks. just the one is ‘satis superque’!

  90. You forgot IceyAngel the random alord =/ lol

  91. I go to the main page and then were is says something about saying what is on your mind there will be a link that says registered members, click there and then you will get to your page.

    If that made any sense lol.

  92. I figured it out.
    It was surprisingly easy.
    I agree with you Alords. this is LAME!!!
    I love all the people on here but masquerading as someone else is pretty shitty and normally I would disagree with doing it but just to piss DanF off we should all start posting random comments using his name. That would be awesome.

  93. I agree with alord they need to sort this out, just imagine an army of Dan_Fargis :O Scary thought.

  94. Thanks FM.

  95. I really was kidding about pretending to be other people :( I wouldn’t do that to you guys.

  96. We’re thinking along the same lines but different conclusions FM.

  97. No problem slippy, happy to be of use :)

  98. $200 is five times what you’d pay here for spaying/neutering combined with vaccinations. It’s $20 spay/neuter, $20 vaccines. And I agree, if you can’t afford to alter your pet, don’t get one. Unless of course you plan to support the offspring and rehome them safely.

    Where’s Bob Barker?

  99. Walter Sobchak

    That wasn’t Dan Fargis who shot one out?!

    Haaaaallelujah Sweet Jesus I am converted!!!

  100. Hey alord what time is it there ?

  101. nearly 4am.

    it’s my first day off work for ages, and there’s loads of booze in the house. i love raymond carver so much, because you can read his sparse prose when you’re drunk.

    the same kind of thing can be said for keeping up with the kardashians.

    holla.

    oh, and <3 to walter.

  102. Love you too alord you sexy monkey.

  103. I too am disappointed that Dan didn’t shoot one out, I thought that he’d possibly gotten into the holy water and had his way with the statue of the Virgin Mary… sigh.

  104. krasivaya_devushka

    Blame FuckyouBastard (sorry, that’s my version) for dissapointing you guys.

  105. krasivaya_devushka

    disappointing* ahhh

  106. Wow, I’m finding I need a translator to understand all of this mumbo jumbo. I miss my word, and nuff. I’m feeling a little tense, I need to relax a bit. Plus, I can’t stop thinking of heavy flow and shopping carts!

  107. Most of the people are typing proper though Eenerbl…it’s just yoink that doesn’t spell properly.

    o.O

  108. Either I forgot to take my senility pills or somebody hijacked my name.

    Oh this is my pill here taped to the front if my computer screen.

    Agnes thinks of everything.

  109. so it wasn’t you walter? :-(

    though asking you to love me though is like getting walter matthau to say something positive about back pain.

    oh, walter matthau’s dead now?

  110. I deal with a vet who’s out in the country…she’s cheaper then the vets up where I live in the bigger city….but I am only taking cats back to her because she wants to see them….and they only technically need to be vaccinated every 3 years because they are indoor cats. The only time they go outside they have harnesses and leashes on and they hate going outside…they want to stay in apartment so.

    Humane society etc. you normally have to either buy the animal from them, or prove your poor to get them to give you discounted rates….i can’t prove I’m poor, I make a reasonable wage for my age so… -.-”

  111. No it was me.

  112. I think.

  113. ok now it’s hall of mirrors time.

  114. Icey, that’s what I was referring to. He amuses me, but it’s so hard to figure out at times.

  115. If anyone needs to be spayed, it’s Lily….nobody needs to be contaminated with that mess. Of course now that everyone knows about her umm….issues, I’m sure any man would think twice before letting his dicklestick anywhere near mount doom…

  116. Yoink is like Justin Bieber or Twilight, it’s easy enough to just ignore but it’s the people always bringing it up that gets to be too much.

  117. Toby totally banged Jesse in the Walmart parking lot.

  118. @IceyAngel Try the regular ol’ animal shelter. They offer low cost spaying/neutering and vaccinations to everybody, whether you have adopted from them, or not! It’s pretty great.

  119. God Amy is a dumb fucking whore. Of course your cat is going to get pregnant multiple times if you’re not going to get her neutered! As for just dumping her cat… jesus fucking christ. She’s the one who needs to be fixed so she can NEVER pro-create.

  120. *strolls in pushing a shopping cart*
    Awwww @106 I miss you too. Hop in the cart, i’ll check you out across the border to Canada, eh?

  121. Name hijacking now? And I thought things couldn’t get any worse. Hadn’t Lamebook fixed that problem when it started happening in its earlier days? A lot of good people disappeared because of it.

    Don’t do it guys, or Lamebook, which is getting fucked in its ass so badly right now, will be done.

  122. I wonder what the thought process was that led to Amy deciding to get a dog. I’m imagining something like “Hmm, my cat keeps having kittens and this is a problem for me. How can I fix it…? I know! Dogs don’t have kittens! I’ll just get a dog instead.”

  123. whoo fucked its ass???? loooooooooool

  124. i dint put coment 122 y the fuck r peple copyin me

  125. Well, I’ve just come off my period and my bed is still intact.

  126. Paranoid Android

    Fuck me, I really am a Paranoid Android now.

    So many illusions been shattered simultaneously.

    Please make them stop mummy.

  127. Walter Sobchak

    Maybe my penis coming into contact with so much period juice over all the years is what caused my problems.

  128. i dint put coment 123 y the fuck r peple copyin me

  129. Dear All,

    This is The Committee For Termination of Jokes That Have Gone On For Too Long.

    We are here to collect yoink, the middle aged person pretending to be a teen joke.

    p.s. Dan Fargis, keep up the good work but don’t grow stale – plot development should be considered.

    Sincerely,
    TCFTOJTHGOFTL

  130. Paranoid Android

    Seriously, I’m freaking out. Also hear hear above.

  131. I’m never touching a shopping cart again!

  132. God damn it you guys, I’ve been telling you for ages now that we can take other people’s names. I kinda imagine this is how one of those crazy old tramps out in the street with an ‘End Is Nigh!’ sandwich board is gonna feel when the zombies invade and everyone’s too busy freaking out to give him his dues.

  133. I thought we went through this back when Original-Ben started bitching about having his name hijacked, even after they introduced signing up after Boz got pissed and left. I’d find the post but seriously, I’m too damn lazy.

  134. Wow. Again. THe comments more enjoyable to read than the actual posts.

  135. I joined this just to say how much i hate you yoink. im sure half of the posts on lamebook are your retarded lifes works

  136. @yoinksacock
    I too joined for that very reason.

    @BritishHobo it is my ambition to become one of those “end is nigh” tramps

    I often feel that there should be some kind of written test that people have to take to make sure they are not retarded before being allowed anywhere near the internet, there used to be a sort of test, it was ISDN but unfortunatly any imbecile can get on here these days, still the pro of this is that people who actually use their brains get a laugh mocking those who need reminding not to shout too much at their mothers or to lick the plug sockets.

  137. Oh, awesome, welcome to Team This Isn’t YoinkBook.

  138. Amy is a horrible bitch. Pay the money to spay your damn pet!

    Spay/neuter!

    @emkitteh
    dogs don’t breed as often as cats, but the better solution is to fix whatever pet you have as they don’t breed at all

    no one wants your stupid animal offspring! even if they are purebred! There’s all kinds of animals out there already

    I hate people sometimes

  139. yoink is old lame news

  140. Wait, you can become someone else? That means all that time Ben was right, and people just took the piss for nothing. Ah well.

    I have a feeling that Lily’s post might have been Facebook Rape, does nobody on here know of this concept? It is lots of fun.

  141. What the hell is wrong with these people?! Complete waste of oxygen!

  142. shipoopi wut u meen?

  143. I think Lily should spray some of that acid-blood onto Amy and dissolve that bitch.

  144. Aye, Ben was right. Did nobody even question why there was somebody else with the username Ben who wasn’t the original Ben?

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