Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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First? Nice little evening planned…I guess.
I can’t disagree with her.
Our culture is losing the distinction between “stuff that’s okay to share” and “stuff that’s not necessarily wrong, but definitely private.”
I like her.
Personally I’m just glad to see these Lamebook-worthy Facebook status updaters are keeping it classy and ladylike.
This just screams ‘FRAPE’ to me
She’s awesome. This isn’t lame at all!
what keeps this from being awesome is that she’s probably an unfuckable walrus
haha, my thoughts exactly orby
does that mean she’s masturbating on the couch? THAT doesn’t seem sanitary.
@Davey
Its not lame, but only if she’s hot
Masturbation = Watching her dozen cats groom themselves while she hoovers up a half gallon of Chunky Monkey…
I’d love to know how many people liked that status in the following few hours!!
@orby
She probably just changed position, from feet on the floor to feet up. The rest of her is naturally attached to the couch, like a barnacle
I hope that the chick flick is lesbian porn…otherwise what other possible chick flick could she be maasturbating too?? Sweet Home Alabama? Ten things I hate about you? Titanic? I am Sam?
@ Ish-
I think she is going to masturbate before she watches her chick flick
A lot of chick flicks are pretty lame, but I don’t think that warrants this status being on lamebook.
What the fuck. No one would look twice at this is it were a dude posting it.
GIRLS CAN MASTURBATE TOO. Jennifer, you’re awesome.
Chick flicks are certainly lame. The fact that she’s masturbating to them is lame. But the overall status? Maybe it’s overshare, but hey – do what you gotta do, ya know?
This would not be on lamebook if a dude did it. I’m calling sexist bullshit.
The posts today from Lamebook have been subpar.
If a dude posted it he would be roasted and it would still end up on Lamebook. With harsher comments.
The lameness of this is purely dependent on the fact if she’s hot or not. If she’s hot, then by all means darling.
This isn’t something I want to know, no matter what gender the person is. And male status’s with the same topic have been posted here.
Glad she updated BEFORE the deed, and not during/after
Suspect Adam is fapping away more feverishly than Jennifer . . .
(I know I am)
Women should be kept in cages.
Seeing as there’s been similar lamebooks where a guy DID say he was going to masturbate…all the offended women in here can get back to the dishes.
As a woman, I have to say that I found this totally lame. Masturbation is fine. Forcing all your friends to read that you’re about to masturbate, not so much.
@ kayti
“No one would look twice at this is it were a dude posting it.
GIRLS CAN MASTURBATE TOO. Jennifer, you’re awesome.”
Um, there was a post from a guy who talking about how he planned to masturbate a week or two ago, and everyone thought he was a jackass, too. You can chill out a little, and by the way, I’m female. I’m fairly sure that no one past adolescence or so is surprised by the concept that women masturbate.
Oh yeah, but when *I* say it…
@ KingNeckbeard
Congrats on your ability to convey your considerable sexism to an entire gender as a result of TWO stupid comments from whiny women. Way to go.
Women need to stop going on the internet.
Women are _____
objects?
Worthless? Worthless objects?
^LOL!!
(I’m a woman. I just hate women.)
Please continue Jennifer…snarf, snarf
She gives a bad name to Jennifers.
Women should be caged up to suppress their tendencies to masturbate all the time. Sluts
Notice the two n’s in her name… Enough said.
uhhh what’s that supposed to mean, Brian?
People with repeating letters in their names are retarded, duh.
#39
Two ns in Jennifer is normal, Brian. Notice I didn’t put an apostrophe after the n, because no letter is missed and it’s not possessive. If her name was “Jenifer”, I’d be giving he shit for having a stupid new-age spelling.
God women are stupid.
@42
I think he was trying at ‘n’s not making the ‘n’ possessive. .
Boz, you are stupid.
#44 – So you agree, he was wrong. Thanks for your brilliant insight, Vincent.
Why would you post this on facebook, unless you were looking for a bunch of horny dudes to comment back?
I’m all for women’s lib- but seriously, this is part of the reason why chicks are objectified so often.
Gross.
These gender specific comments are fucking hilarious
God I am so much better than you.
no one is even considering the possibility that she left herself logged in and someone else wrote it…
happens to my (more stupid) friends on a frequent basis.
Adam’s totally fappin’ to the status – it’s why he likes it so much.
1. Women’s lib killed chivalry.
2. I could care less about Jennifer and her masturbation…
3. …But I am afraid that the chick flick is probably “Twilight”.
Im glad for womens lib-it means I can not hold a door for someone but turn around to watch it shut in their face while their hands are full. It means never having to change someone elses tire, or lifting something for a woman.
I don’t get why people feel its appropriate to put status’ like that on their fb. Male or Female that’s something you just don’t share with people online..because then they screen shot it and post it on lamebook!
Ho obviously dosent get laid much, except by rosy palm.
And her five daughters
My dad loves to fuck my cornhole while I eat my mother out.
Really?
I love how on my first post i already have someone posing as me.
STOP USING THE @ SYMBOL YOU IDIOTS!!! ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
@@@@@@ needs to calm down.
*gives him/her a chillaxitive*
Oh god, my rectum is bleeding out, and wild raccoons are drinking it while I type.
@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @@ @ @@@ @@ @@ @ @@ @@ @ @@
Jennifer is awesome. Not lame at all. Play on, playa!
@ my self
You are suck a retard.
@
@@@@@@@@@
Why?
Because you said so?
Pffft.
I like to lecture people one What’s Cool and What’s Not because it distracts me from the fact that I’m sexually repressed and have no social life. By condescendingly insulting others who use the @ symbol as an indication that someone is being addressed, I imply that I have superior awareness of What’s Cool on the Internet. Take it easy on me, guys. I need to be good at something, even if I just pretend!
@@@@@@@@, I like you now.
i hope she put the drop cloth down on the couch before she started tonight.
@32
“way to be sexist against an entire gender”?
Isn’t that redundant? I know you were trying to sound like an intellectual, but obviously I don’t care what you think you know about me because of a sentence I wrote anonymously on lamebook.
Except that obviously I do care, seeing as I responded.
Also, I’m sexist because no woman will let me flick her chick. Masturbation is a sensitive subject for me.
@KingNeckbeard
Damn straight that shit is redundant.
Also, @@@@@@@@@ is obviously a woman.
*gasp* @@@@@@@@ is a WOMAN?! The nerve.
i farted and im a woman, give me a prize
When it comes to the crunch my view is this: I fervently hope that my friends and family have exciting and fulfilling sex lives, and I don’t care what form they take – single, couples or groups, whatever floats your boat. However, I NEVER need to hear about it.
I like her. I’m sexist. At least I’m honest.
um…when pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza any time. at least that’s what i’ve come to believe.
MASTURBATING IS NOT A CRIME!
W0manZ iSh Shtupad!!!!
Male or female, only boring, attention-starved children post stuff like this.
something for all of you to keep in mind – the moral , grammatical and cool police over here
http://www.blamonet.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/normal_Retard_Win.jpg
and i m sorry for the rude stereotyping in the picture …
File under “too much information”. This is the kind of person who is always shoving their sexuality in your face.
Fake.
not fake
she’s a really nice girl but not very attractive
and adam is her boyfriend
@spoje
Surely he’d rather be there than she’s sat alone having to gey herself off?
Meh, typo.
@@@@@@@@@@@, lol! you’re good sunshine!
@ mission noo i mean i know that for a fact! i know them
Ugly fat women are always masturbating, thats why we should outlaw fat/ugly women….no more masturbation = no more gays/lesbians and crime.
@moonchild444 Aren’t you enlightened!
I like to get fucked by horses.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Masturbation = gay?
I like the notion that only gays and lesbians commit crime. And to commit crime you also masturbate. OK, the latter is probably true, but not as a definitive rule.
I did however have a girlfriend that thought touching yourself made you gay. Including getting in line for bumping uglies. Needless to say she got dumped, freaking weirdo.
Lol, it was only a matter of time before someone stole my name and tried to emulate the truth.
@69 KingNeckbeard
You’re right, it was redundant, haha. I still think you’re a jackass, but you’ve got a good point. Sorry about that.
@ 81
Wow, that picture was more offensive than Jennifer talking about masturbation. I know you apologized, but you still posted it. I have a child who participates in Special Olympics so perhaps I’m a bit over-sensitive, but really, people…using someone’s disability as an insult is just…lame.
@ Mousegeek
I agree, fucking offensive and totally unnecessary.
And it annoys me that noone else saw fit to comment on it as well.
LOL, who else finds it ironic that the person talking about offending handicapped people ended their post in “lame”?
The word lame is as offensive as calling someone “gay” in the non sexual orienatation sense. SELF PWN
Jennifer’s oversharing is definitely not facebook-appropriate, and I have to say I’m kind of embarrassed for her.
BUT a woman masturbating isn’t a big deal; I’d say most women, like most men, do it. And it makes no difference whether she’s attractive or not. Really. I know a lot of the lamebook posters’ only interaction with female masturbation is the cam girls on 4Chan, but when women masturbate, it’s not for your titillation. Saying a woman has to be attractive for her masturbation to be OK is like saying, “I’m OK with women being lesbians, but only if they’re really, really hot.”
@99
Yeah, guys are so used to thinking of female sexuality as a tool for their own pleasure that they seem incapable of understanding that it’s our own thing. I wouldn’t try to forbid the fleshy, pale and be-pimpled thirty-something living in his mom’s basement from masturbating. Because he’s not an object for me just because I’m a straight female.
Of course, if he posted it on facebook, I would mock him endlessly. And I agree Jennifer’s status is also totally inappropriate.
Yeah well, they’re all probably 14yo boys, like most people on the internet. Of course they’re going to be fucking sexist and immature, also like most people on the internet.
And I too agree that it’s pretty stupid to post that stuff on FB.
99 & 100, you’re kind of pissing into the wind here. I agree with what you’re saying, but a lot of lamebook’s commenters are the lowest common denominator and they’re not exactly going to put a lot of thought into what you’re saying. As you say, all their knowledge of female sexuality comes from internet porn. What bugs me is all the girls on these comment boards jumping up and down trying to impress the guys by talking about how all girls suck but *they’re* different. “LOLZ, I totes hate feminism! And all girls are mean bitches, but not me! Hey guys, like me so I’ll feel validated! Please, huh, please?”
@103, ugh, I knew so many girls in high school who did that. Reminds me how in some of the stricter Muslim countries when high-profile Western women come to visit, the government doesn’t really know how to handle them, since they don’t want to offend them by making them conform to the gender roles of their country. So they’ll stamp “honorary man” on their passport, just to make it easier. And I feel like a lot of girls here do the same thing. Saying that you agree that all women suck but you’re different doesn’t help anyone. Maybe they look at gender stereotypes and say, well that’s not me, so it can feel like they’re skirting the problems by saying, Just think of me as a man, but it doesn’t fix anything. MOST women don’t fit into gender stereotypes (and neither do most men, from my experience).
Oh well. It made me laugh. If it were the same exact quote only from a male, I would firstly question his sexual orientation, and then laugh just as much. It’s such a simple, “at the end of the day” sentence, with an unexpected twist. I thought it was funny.
POW!
I find it exceedingly amusing that the dudes are so convinced she must be “an unfuckable walrus”, because she’s masturbating.
I sense some insecurity here, guys…
News flash, my dear virginal boys-
Masturbation isn’t a sign that she can’t get a guy. It’s a sign that most women aren’t willing to just put up and shut up without ever being sexually pleasured.
After all, you gotta learn to love yourself, first. :>
@ 107, I highly doubt that guys think she’s “an unfuckable walrus”, because she’s masturbating. I think the point might be that she posted it on facebook… massive overshare, the girl clearly has no social skills, therefore it is easy to assume that she’s an unfuckable walrus
I masturbate with my father, see it is nice to be from East Texas. Masturbate for mommy now, go ahead and wack on those cock n balls.
All people should post on Facebook when they have masturbated!
haha @ #103, so true. And I love the phrase ‘pissing in the wind’ btw.
@ 109
I’m pretty flattered that someone thought my post interesting enough to impersonate me. Awesome.
@ 109
inbred tool.
@Look at it this way
**if her name WERE Jenifer
use the subjunctive, please.
There should be a category on lamebook for really obnoxious grammar corrections. It could be called “Congratulations on Passing 9th Grade; Now Shut the Fuck Up.”
Is your goal to educate the huddled masses on the proper use of the subjunctive? Is it to feel better about yourself? “I may be deformed, but at least I know how to use the subjunctive mood.” Maybe you imagine a silent, anal-rententive majority reading your posts and nodding their collective heads in approval. “Heather must be awesome,” they say. “She knows exactly how to use the subjunctive, and she’s not afraid to say it! You go girl!”
getting really mad about it sure is cooler, dude
Uhm… Good luck with that?