Brandon sounds like your typical sales droid: He’s way overselling the benefits of the Real Life ™ product. For example, while latency is generally low, lag time can be considerable. It’s not uncommon to wait months or even years for your character to get anywhere, and every 24 hour “day” has a waiting period of anywhere from 6 to 10 hours where your character must remain in a “sleep” state or risk significant performance degradation.
Further, the assertion that Real Life costs nothing is simply misleading. Certainly, the cost to enter the game costs nothing to the user, but you’re placed in a state of essentially indentured servitude to other players, commonly known as “parents”, until you’ve played the game for anywhere from 16 to 25 years, after which you’re expected to pay for virtually all of the game’s usable content. Players from about the age of 12 onward can also spawn their own child characters (sometimes even unintentionally!), but doing so can cause significant changes (many deleterious) in game play and will also cost enormous sums of money.
The average length of the game can vary, averaging anywhere from 25 to over 80 years depending on which part of the game world you spawn in (which is determined randomly with no input from the user). While this sort of span is impressive for any game, there’s no replay ability at all unless you are raised in or later choose one of the available “religions” that believe in the concept of reincarnation. There are also religions that allow you to play a sort of bonus level (called “Heaven” or “Hell”, depending on your final game score), but many of these religions can end up costing a lot of time and money, and which bonus level you get to play (and there are huge differences between them) can’t be accurately predicted until the end of the game.
Lastly, the idea that Brandon can simply email the developer for a beta key is absurd. People have been filing bug reports to the developer(s) for millennia, but so far none of them have even been so much as acknowledged, much less fixed.
Bart should’ve called Google’s 800 number to see if they’ll oblige him.
As for Paul, at first I was all excited thinking there really was a game called Real life until I read further down. Maybe I do play too much Sims and Second Life and I’m addicted to games like that.
sensible madness: second only to s_i_a_r_r_a in the pantheon (she is amazing).
this ‘real life’ game sounds a bit like a computer game i was reading a review of in an old magazine on the can at my friend’s house the other day. It was called “Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred Blood of the Damned”.
and rollergirl, i think ol’ kurt would be spinning in his grave at the coining of the adjective ‘vonnegutian’. or perhaps laughing.
@ sensible: “…but many of these religions can end up costing a lot of time and money…”
Scientology lawyers will probably be preparing a case against you for saying that. *looks around scared* They are a non-profit organization. Their tax exemption status proves it.
You could technically say that real life is an online thing now due to things like facebook. But it was a good analogy. We’re all playing the game of life, and some of us more than others spend most of that game of life playing a game online.
The Sims 3 is a good game, I haven’t played it in a couple months though.
yeah, i know what mmorpg means. it is true that life is mm, and it is an rpg more or less (especially in social or professional situations), i just don’t think the o part qualifies as “real” life, hence irl
ben
aaw… missed it! Dang!
Brandon is my hero!! youreanidiot.com… that’s gold baby!
The first one is a rip from The Office.
first one just seems set up… paul cant be that dumb… can he?
oops, second one… not first one
oops… rip off
I wonder if Brandon could send me the link for the Upgrade to “Real Life”. I believe the upgrade offers unlimited credits.
Also, Georgia needs a biology lesson. Slim may be up to the task of teaching ol’ Georgie about the birds ‘n the bees…?
Actually serious?? Is Paul for real? I am amazed. Actually amazed.
<3
Seen it before on Yahoo Answer Fail:
http://www.yahooanswerfail.com/youtube-fail/
There’s a REAL life?
yeah, BritishHobo. i think it’s kinda like reality TV, but for computers. or something.
Geogia FTW! That line is straight out of Always Sunny.
lol
Brandon is a prick, Sims 3 is awesome.
Cheat codes, anyone?
Cheat codes? It’s called crack.
Brandon sounds like your typical sales droid: He’s way overselling the benefits of the Real Life ™ product. For example, while latency is generally low, lag time can be considerable. It’s not uncommon to wait months or even years for your character to get anywhere, and every 24 hour “day” has a waiting period of anywhere from 6 to 10 hours where your character must remain in a “sleep” state or risk significant performance degradation.
Further, the assertion that Real Life costs nothing is simply misleading. Certainly, the cost to enter the game costs nothing to the user, but you’re placed in a state of essentially indentured servitude to other players, commonly known as “parents”, until you’ve played the game for anywhere from 16 to 25 years, after which you’re expected to pay for virtually all of the game’s usable content. Players from about the age of 12 onward can also spawn their own child characters (sometimes even unintentionally!), but doing so can cause significant changes (many deleterious) in game play and will also cost enormous sums of money.
The average length of the game can vary, averaging anywhere from 25 to over 80 years depending on which part of the game world you spawn in (which is determined randomly with no input from the user). While this sort of span is impressive for any game, there’s no replay ability at all unless you are raised in or later choose one of the available “religions” that believe in the concept of reincarnation. There are also religions that allow you to play a sort of bonus level (called “Heaven” or “Hell”, depending on your final game score), but many of these religions can end up costing a lot of time and money, and which bonus level you get to play (and there are huge differences between them) can’t be accurately predicted until the end of the game.
Lastly, the idea that Brandon can simply email the developer for a beta key is absurd. People have been filing bug reports to the developer(s) for millennia, but so far none of them have even been so much as acknowledged, much less fixed.
@Sensible Madness: I think I love you.
Yowza.
<3
Sensible Madness FTW
@SensibleMadness your post made this worth reading. Kudos!
Well said SensibleMaddness!
Hi ee!
that is the longest post i’ve seen on here in a while SensibleMaddness. Approaching Frodo-ness.
word!!! I’ve missed you!
I could try and be funny, but after Sensible Madness’ comment, I may as well just give up for good xD
…I was about to make a joke about ending the game, but hell, would making it even be worth the effort now?
ee, what have we been doing?, we used to be in perfect harmony, and lately it seems we just keep missing each other.
I’ve sadly missed our 3 ways, no matter who the other person is that joins us.
I really only want you though.
LOL @ Sensible Madness
I can’t do S&M when it’s too long.
Ah Malteaser you said more that lol…
and I guess Georgia hasn’t seen The BEE Movie
The first one’s a rip from The Office? So that’s why it wasn’t funny.
Right back at ya word. I’ll try to get back in the swing of things, we are due for fun!
Bart should’ve called Google’s 800 number to see if they’ll oblige him.
As for Paul, at first I was all excited thinking there really was a game called Real life until I read further down. Maybe I do play too much Sims and Second Life and I’m addicted to games like that.
Sensible Madness that was perfect!
SensibleMadness FTW
That was beautifully Vonnegutian.
@23 dcrearview
bite your tongue! (keyboard…?)
too brilliant to be Frodo.
sensible madness: second only to s_i_a_r_r_a in the pantheon (she is amazing).
this ‘real life’ game sounds a bit like a computer game i was reading a review of in an old magazine on the can at my friend’s house the other day. It was called “Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred Blood of the Damned”.
and rollergirl, i think ol’ kurt would be spinning in his grave at the coining of the adjective ‘vonnegutian’. or perhaps laughing.
‘my name is s. madness i come from st. agnes….’
omg rofl brandon for the win!!! he is my hero!!
Sensible madness FTW! That was quite a good one
Georgia, you are a dumb bitch.
Seriously, how can you not know where honey comes from? Pooh Bear even knows it, and we all know he’s a bear of very little brain.
A better link would have been http://www.wwwdotcom.com/
Or http://www.imwithstupid.com.
I’m glad I read Sensible Madness’ post.
On a different note, I’m sure Bart was only joking. Right? Right?
It seems Georgia’s White Anglo-Saxon Protestant friends were a bit to pushy with her when it cam to dessert…
@ alordslums
I’m flattered to think I could make Kurt do anything from beyond the grave. But, yeah, I bet he’d laugh. And smoke a Pall-Mall.
@ sensible: “…but many of these religions can end up costing a lot of time and money…”
Scientology lawyers will probably be preparing a case against you for saying that. *looks around scared* They are a non-profit organization. Their tax exemption status proves it.
Vandelay – damn you for already having typed my joke!
Sensible Madness – We are not worthy.
All hail Sensible Madness.
Bart isn’t that dumb. That’s actually a quote from “The Office”.
Paul’s an idiot, fake or not.
I have one problem with the possible fake brandon/paul thing. Brandon said real life was an mmo. I didn’t know real life was an online thing…
@Shipoopi — MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game)
You could technically say that real life is an online thing now due to things like facebook. But it was a good analogy. We’re all playing the game of life, and some of us more than others spend most of that game of life playing a game online.
The Sims 3 is a good game, I haven’t played it in a couple months though.
Bart is not as dumb as he sounds. It’s a quote by Michael Scott from The Office. haha
@mestark
yeah, i know what mmorpg means. it is true that life is mm, and it is an rpg more or less (especially in social or professional situations), i just don’t think the o part qualifies as “real” life, hence irl
@sensible madness
- I guess you are one of those people who have all the time in their lives?
genius.
-Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-
LOLLLLL Brandon’s my hero