Friday, January 21, 2011

Steak Through the Heart

previous post: Parents Just Don’t Understand…

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92 Comments

  1. Steeeeeeevvvvvvvveeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr

  2. Fingering at the Steak N Shake drive through?? I’m gonna guess high school. You all can make your own “beef curtain” jokes here.

  3. Stuff like this makes me think we need to change our dating system. Rather than asking each other out, guys will be required to submit an application to the girl(s) they wish to date. This will include references and the last 3 girls dated. In return, girls will register on a review site, where ex-boyfriends will post their experiences, bad and good, with the girl in question. All discussion of past relationships on social networking sites will be outlawed.

  4. Wow, how CLASSY.. atleast it wasn’t at a McDonald’s. aha.

  5. who else pictures this steeever dude as someone that looks like mclovin from superbad and just hits refresh all day on the site hoping to be the first one to “comment” even though he really isnt saying anything?

  6. Fuck teenagers, they should be put in a ring and be forced to fucking bore each other to death with their stupid fucking cretinous bullshit.

  7. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    HOLY SHIT!!

    It’s Hobo!

  8. Does it count as cheating if it was only an HJ with no kissing?

    Shameless self-promotion: http://1001awfulthings.com/the-top-1001

  9. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Who has two thumbs and deserves to die and hopefully burn in hell?

  10. I stopped looking at the comments when I started realizing that Hobo wasn’t around as often.
    It’s cool, I know I’m totally a loser.

  11. Yeah, jeez Jon, get your facts straight, fucker. I swear, some people…

  12. so i guess krystal sounds about as classy as every krystal i’ve ever known!

  13. @boblolaw… me too.. *hangs head in same*

  14. Hobo, hey there. He’s the main reason I started to comment. Just to tell him how awesome he was. Then he left. Hmmm maybe I stalked too much.

    Anywho … to the post. I was about to ask where could I find one of these fingering parties. But then they fucking ruined it all, telling me it was just at the drive through.

  15. Liz and Alex must have faced a serious dilemma after they got their food.

  16. I hope they went for the fish fingers.

    Dukey Smoothy Buns. does the name start with M and end with C?

  17. I love steak n shake. I can imagine it would go crazy things to people. Getting all excited waiting for your shake.

  18. your fingers would just be shaking with excitement

  19. @Walter Like the comment

  20. Fuck me. As another commenter on the final post from yesterday has noted, Lamebook’s legal fund has jumped significantly – and apparently, overnight! It was at that previous mark for what seemed like forever. I must say I’m a little shocked. Now I’m trying not to be negative here, but the posts over the past few days haven’t exactly been anything special, so I wonder what the catalyst was to cause this sudden and quite substantial increase in its coffers…

  21. Hey Pervert, (no not the majority of you; Wordpervert)
    It stayed the same for a long time, and I assume it had to be updated manually. Have you not contributed yet?

  22. The large donation was from me. The child sex slave industry I run has been very kind to me this month. mb (apparently she pays lip service to the cause in more than one way) made a huge purchase which allowed me to share the wealth with Lamebook.

  23. Steeeever, so you can utter more than just an elongated version of your name in the #1 comment position. Cool. And no, I’ve not contributed as yet. Anyway, the mystery has been solved. It seems it’s all down to mb wanting what Soupy had for sale. Dirty girl.

    But my equal thanks go out to the both of you, and I’m sure LB doesn’t care where the money cums from.

  24. Dont be bitter wordpervert. With that attitude who’se gonna wanna feed you any soup?

  25. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    conor #15 BINGO!

    Who’se“? freedumb002 Please tell me that’s a typo and not something you think is an actual word.

    As for the Lamebook Legal Fund, $8,860 down $41,140 to go.

  26. YES. i won. What do i win? do i win the rights to abuse the leasing cunt? please tell me i do?

    Who’se???? what the hell is that meant to be? whose? how the hell can you can who’se from ‘who is’ or ‘who will wanna feed’. there is no way thats a typo, he had to use the extra effort to press the ‘ button and the e button and e and i are fairly far apart, its like confusing left and right.

  27. You know what? Fuck you all and fuck me too for wasting so much time on this stupid site. I got sucked in while I was recovering from an illness and yes sometimes the posts are amusing and sometimes the drama in the comments section is entertaining but most of the time it is just pathetic.

    Why do we all love to point out what big losers the people in the posts are?. Does it make us feel so much better about ourselves? What a waste of fucking time. Go and read something that isn’t crap, spend time with friends and family, do something productive for fuck’s sake.

    The comments on here are never going to be funny enough to make it worthwhile putting up with all the shit and negativity. All it ever is is people dredging up old memes, being crude or vulgar, correcting grammar and then someone always says that something is so gross that they threw up in their mouth a little bit and then someone always tries to latch on like some parasite to the commenter they think is the coolest with some stupid comment like – I have always admired you from afar or haha, that was so funny I spat my coffee out.

    Imamofo – you are the equivalent of a child misbehaving for attention. It’s clear to me (and anyone with half a brain) that your sexual life consists only of yourself and your sad little fantasies.
    word – go and find your validation somewhere else.
    Soup – you’re a lost cause. Anyone who cares for your kind of humour either has major unresolved issues of their own or has had such a sheltered existence that you have no idea how appalling your comments are. (I honestly don’t mind humour that crosses the normal taboo boundaries as long as it is for a purpose. You are just pathetic and I hope you seriously think about your moral boundaries.)
    To the younger users – please ignore the morons, don’t let their conduct influence your norms.

    I’m sure you will find this comment highly entertaining and if all you do is joke about it, I don’t really care. I hope it at least prompts somebody to think about their priorities and stop wasting time here.

    Don’t reply to me. I won’t be back and I’m editing my host file so I won’t be even tempted to look at replies.

    BTW – yes, I am female, married, I have extensive education (and because I know you will think if I’m hideous my comments are somehow less valid, I’m not, I used to model lingerie).

  28. Now that is fucking hilarious.

    Don’t disappoint, guys. Let the comment roll begin…

  29. i hear she modeled for the larger ladies section. not 100% right though

    ahh what if they are younger than me? is it ok if i carry on like them?? that aspect was very unclear.

    but what if you get the flu again and come back to find they have moved on? will that hurt your lingerie career for lack of confidence and rejection on the internet and you hit the ben and jerrys hard?

    MB- moody bum

  30. hey word no we wont let the comments roll just for your validation, come on now does it make you feel big?

  31. I hope we all learn from this. LB is not the place to meltdown .. ‘K , Conor?

  32. ah dam and i was feeling a morality comment brewing in me. i been taking notes on ye and psycho analyising ye all, but oviously mb beat me to it.

  33. just a quick point on mb, why would she think we think she is ugly because she is educated. what a spastic. sexist bitch

  34. Lol. It wouldn’t be a lamebook weekend without something like this. What is it about the weekend? It brings out a different lamebook fucktard every single time. I really like the weekends.

  35. ….i…. like….. turtles……

  36. quick, someone hand mb a couple a midol and imamofo can help her rinse it down with a nice sharp load of disease ridden baby batter. (make sure not to get it on her lingerie.)

    i like the negativity here.. it’s a good outlet.. mb, i think you’re just jealous because you never fat in.. i mean fit in.

  37. Someone forgot their happy pills this morning…
    The comment section on Lamebook probably isn’t the best life to have a mid-life, menopausal, angry meltdown.
    Come back in 5-7 days when your period is over.
    Peace!

    oh ya, STTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

  38. lol, not enough free time to keep up.. I’m new,hi.
    conor, like bright eyes? Wanna come over and help me study my grammar i guess, 4th grade is amother fucker.

  39. i prefer the dead dull staring eyes myself.

  40. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    conor dude come on, I like turtles.

    Major Bootussy?

  41. you should talk to panda/wordperv- the way her eyes just glass over all beady like… mmm looks like ppl are still deciding who wants to be first in line for that shit. we’re not playing russian roulette, come on guys.

    @zigs – i invented that word for you

  42. look DUKEY. i could not be arsed holding the shift button and pressing the i button. im just crazy like that you see.
    if you feel so strongly about it write a long pointless comment. maybe consult mb. master buzzkill.

    master and buttmander; far side of the anus?

    1001 awful things: when Conor could not be arsed to capitalise a word that should be capitalised.

    Freedumb: go away and use z instead of s would you. what is 4th grade 15 years old?

    moany bitcher

  43. llol 4th grade is younger than that dude. But your gf probably told u she turns 18 in 7th grade so your counting down right?

  44. do me a favor and take a 20pack of xtra large tampons, put em in the freezer in the morning, and when you get home from work shove em up that bootussy (i think i get that joke now nyuk). Your bleeding

  45. ……. Are you actually trying to slag me?……

    im speechless to this….

    you are literally too stupid to slag

  46. why would i have to put them in the freezer? does cold unlock the power of soakage?
    i always knew my gfs lady part was a cold unloving tunnel of semen. you sir are a hero

  47. theres just something about it i dunno. *takes balls out of freezer* *sets microwave to thaw*

  48. @freedumb, what word did you invent? You’re writing a lot of stuff that doesn’t make much sense. Somehow I don’t think this is the type of comments that some were hoping for. A couple of semi-literate juvenile tools going at it with each other is very uninteresting. Lamebook indeed.

  49. what.the.fuck. shouldnt you be off being racist on call of duty or something instead of giving me a pain in my mind.

    1001 awful things; when i found matts facebook. oops. hi matt mcinnis

    I went onto the site again. it just melts my face of how retarded and stupid and pointless it is. i want it to die

    cue mattymc with a long hurtful comment.

  50. im still pure juvenile i still try suck nipples for milk

  51. who made this site you owe me at least 20 percent. I saw the donation thing go up and I’m takin credit.

  52. its for a legal fund you jamrag. my god why do i hate a 14 year so much. it went up earlier from 3 to 8.

    i need help

  53. mb, don’t leave! You’re hesitant I know, but I can make it better. That stick has been in your ass for so long, it has created a vast emptiness inside of you. Like the river carving out the Grand Canyon, all this time has eroded your once fertile plain.

    But together we can revel in the glory that is your huge hole. I will ride my burro into your burrow. Despite its massive size, I will ride the rapids until I find the little man in the boat, and we will both capsize in a pool of white frothy foam.

  54. Some people must surely be planted by Lamebook. Who in the right mind would have a complete breakdown here? I loved the final lingerie comments – yeah we needed to know that!

  55. Comments took forever to load. Better be good! Considering curly’s last comment, it sounds at least… interesting

  56. Well… that was rather sad.
    Roger juste found out Jessica is fooling around with another man.

  57. Mb no! What will we do without your essays describing how awful everyone is?! Lamebook is ruined.

  58. Awww, this is a little disappointing. I really thought there’d be more said about mb’s brain explosion. Have all the bitchy Lamebookers left the building? Or has everyone just become weary of stuff like that? I hope that’s not the case. Don’t throw in the Lamebook towel just yet, guys. There’s still some fight left in the old girl.

    And vincent really needs to take a look at parts of this thread and reconsider his definition of a dullard. Feck, mammy.

  59. Oh, and congratulations to the Green Bay Packers. My favourite former LB girl, ee, is a massive fan. And to all the Bears fans (you know who you are), commiserations. I feel you. I’ve been waiting for over 2 decades to see my football team here in Aus win another Grand Final. This year…

  60. I -love- lamebook drama. It makes me smile, though I have nothing cute or catchy to say about it because I could honestly care less if MB got hit by a truck. Watching her have a melt down on lamebook was like a pleasant zoo attraction.

  61. @58
    ah mb, the times we’ve had. I remember just three weeks ago you had this same stick up your ass and whined and bitched for two days and then said that it was ‘another’ mb. But I guess you couldn’t fight it for long and had to come back and explain why imamofo and soup are horrible people who deserve to be gassed so we can live in a better society…or was that the nazis? I’m having trouble separating you and them for some odd reason…

  62. I can’t say anything bad about mb now that I know she might be Michelle Buswell, Melissa Baker, Michelle Behennah, or Marcelle Bittar…

    Lamebook, please put naked pictures of mb here. Thanks.

  63. word- i think one of the following scenarios happened:

    1- mb went on a killing spree and is slowly taking out lamebookers one by one.
    2- some people took what she said to heart and became born again christian’s… (if this gives me a shot at fucking jesus- sign me up!)
    3- half the lamebookers are in an alcohol induced coma for the weekend and will probably emerge on monday.
    4- i don’t really have a four, so i’m going to go back to doing laundry and feeling bad about all the mean things i’ve said on lb… except i don’t feel bad and mb can go eat shit and die.

  64. oh and jonjones your nazi comment made me laugh. (but i guess i should probably just say i’m admiring you from afar and all that bullshit.)

  65. @62, *Christians

  66. Holy shit, what the fuck went on here after the lights went out on Friday? Stupid real life getting in the way of my online voyeurism…

    That was one of the funniest meltdowns I have ever seen. However it feeds my theory (original comment got modded some time back) that there ARE comment plants among us. If so, well done, LB. Quite well done.

    Too bad she’s gone; mb and I seem to have a good bit in common on paper. You know, except that she exploded in a whiney, Oprah-esque rant of self-righteous fury, and I think you’re one funny bunch of motherfuckers.

  67. Shegsy, you used to model lingerie?

    Lamebook, you know the drill.

    Note Lamebook’s legal fund has doubled again since this morning! Very interesting.

  68. Fuck the menopausal meltdown, I wanna see some lingerie pics, fapfapfapfap and finish.

    There is no doubt that some commenters are ‘plants’, there to antagonise and stimulate. Yes, I am paranoid.

  69. Woooheee! Somebody got their knickers in a twist! (They’ll probably pay her extra for that)

    Imamofo – you are the equivalent of a child misbehaving for attention. It’s clear to me (and anyone with half a brain) that your sexual life consists only of yourself and your sad little fantasies.

    mb What are you saying, that you only have half a brain?! But you seemed so intellectual, sat there typing your quirky little witticisms and illuminating social commentaries in just your knickers and bra?! Now take some deep breaths, be brave and point on the dolly where the mean internet men touched you. But joking aside, I will take your advice and start thinking a bit more about my priorities…. Right! I’m off for a wank and bumfinger session then!

    Paranoid It’s me! I’m a plant… I’m a cactus.

  70. Hey Paranoid, the guys on the next post were all demanding naked pics and here you are only asking for lingerie ones. You’re too soft ;-)

  71. word, #57 – she did it all to herself, i didn’t really feel the need to intervene. plus, she didn’t even give me an honorable mention even though i started the whole paedo witch hunt against her. needless to say, i went off in a huff and spent the entire weekend having frantic sex with a waiter who i met at my local tapas bar.

  72. @ curly – I like to use my imagination and trust me there are some dark, dark places in there and I’m never too soft, quite the opposite in fact ;)

    @ mofo – A cactus? Was thinking more of a penis-fly trap. Biddum-tish.

  73. Paranoid or a Butterfuck?… Stick one under your chin and it tells you if the person likes having their shithole reamed out.

    vincent I wasn’t a waiter, I was just dressed smart and next time ask please…

  74. Ah nice to know Paranoid ;)

    Hey you two, are you at work? I’m off ahhahahahaha :P

  75. @ word – It is a bit suspicious, all that money coming in. Maybe it’s like those posters who write about that great party they went too when they in fact stayed home. Just so their fb friends think they’re cool.
    Or they sell drugs

    @ curly – go fuck y… er… no, I’m home too. You can’t still go ahead and fuck just for the hell of it, though.

  76. Depends on how you define ‘at work’, if you mean staring blankly into space, dipping into lamebook while trying to put off the work I am being paid for, then yes, I am grafting like a motherfucker.

  77. @wandr – what do you think I’m here for. I’m cruising for a cyber fuck buddy.

    @Paranoid, your days at work sound much the same as mine lol.

  78. curly I am working, in between tazering the fuck out of cows and killing chickens with my bare hands I post on here… I’m a vet…Picture me in my green blood spattered apron whilst you flick yourself off.

    Paranoid You’re working like me?!… do you perform fellatio on dead dogs too?!

    wandr I went to a great fucking pool party this weekend, wanna buy some crack? I’m cool…

  79. fuck crack, I wanna go to a pool party

  80. did i just imagine that, or did someone say cruising?

  81. the only reason the fund is increasing is because mb is paying lamebook for all of your personal information so she can go all boondock saints on us.

  82. @wordy, in 57

    Weariness.

  83. yeah… People in glass houses sink ships

  84. Mixing metaphors is very wrong and reflects the impurity of your soul. Let me send you a copy of the KJB so that you can have clearer moral boundaries.

  85. hahaha @ wandr.. FUCK!!! ASS!!!!

  86. Jesus Christ, word is right, the legal fund is shooting up… who the hell is donating to that?

    I’d comment on that crazy bitch and her crazy bitch meltdown, but I have absolutely no idea who she is, and if I’m honest I just couldn’t be bothered to read it. Rage on, you fucking mentalist.

  87. Huge fan :)
    @ Pep – I’m a ginger anyway

  88. “MMMmake like a tree and…fffffuck off!”

  89. mofo, I’ve waited for 2 days for your response to mb, and might I say it was worth the wait. Christ, you can be funny sometimes.

    Could somebody tell vincent (I’m not talking to him) that I also waited for his take on it, and was quite disappointed he didn’t contribute. After all, it was he who set it all in motion (really? I must’ve missed that). Instead, all he did was throw his handbag down. Typical gay reaction.

    wandr, yes it’s totally sus. I want to know where all this money is suddenly coming from. I’m really curious, actually.

  90. i personally feel that lamebook might be fudging the numbers a bit…it’s a deceptive marketing tactic…it’s harder to donate what most might afford to something like this…say, 20 bucks…50 even…when the bar shows no hope that they will ever make their goal. and, in the unlikely situation that lamebook DID come close to raising that amount of money, they might just let it hang back, while still taking donations. iz a cunspearassy, i tellz ye!

  91. Whoa epic comments.

  92. Wow MB that was the Illiad of posts – jesus, little time on your hands?? See you Wednesday.

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