Woah, this guy thinks of himself as a real catch, clearly! I love the NO GOLD DIGGERS part. You can imagine him telling any woman he meets “you can have all of my cock you want, but I ain’t paying for your dinner, you can eat my cock instead, it’s nutritious and delicious and sperm is non fattening!”
Haha… the dude posts this on a wall in an apt complex and expects not to get pranked. Love it! Boy, are we specific in what type of woman we want. He doesn’t want whores but it looks like an ad to attract whores…..this must be a joke.
Women – yes – check
Age – 25 – check
Body Type – Curvy in the face so i guess that works – check
Habits – Gold digger in bed so……check
Clothing Style – spiked mini skirts – check
Drugs – I like to pop vitamins and advil – check
Disease – I had chicken pox, tonsillitis, colds and headaches – fail
Hooker, Tranny, Real – I am a virtual escort girl with a penis – fail
How is this man still single at 40 when he’s obviously got so much going on? Have to admit that if I was a gold-digger a UPS guy wouldn’t be my first target … Like the “condom” part tho’ – can’t have some gold digger trying turn him into a baby daddy!
And hey, I’m a girl. Yay! Also, I’m Norwegian, is that acceptable? And I have long blonde hair. And I’m a GREAT kisser. SUPER! And not fat. OOH! And I’d totally be open to threesomes or foursomes! Except that I’d probably end up dating one of the girls instead, because Malik sounds like a douche.
I am pleased by what I consider an adequate level of detail about the types of vehicles that Malik enjoys.
Many video game enthusiasts of my acquaintance regularly run afoul of these “gold-diggers”. These grasping harpies seem to come with the territory of sitting around on your asshole parping into the couch all day.
Love dumptruck dudes who think they deserve super gorgeous non-hookers who will pay for them to eat dinner and have threesomes with them, while being “great” kissers and “real.” his use of quotes makes me think it’s ok if they’re mediocre kissers and made of plastic.
can the other women in the 3/4somes be hookers? because honestly i don’t see where else he would find participants.
ah, a female, this throws my analysis. Instead you are clearly jealous that this obviously very eligible bachelor is not interested in your type. I assume you aren’t ‘real’ enough to be his woman. Also, I would guess you don’t regularly dress in a mini-skirt, daisy duke shorts and 6 inch high heels (as I understand that would be extremely painful/impossible to walk around in all day). An obvious mistake, well atleast if you don’t want to end up dating some broke dude posting bullitens with ‘take one’ slips for dates at the bottom. But, who wouldn’t wanna be with someone like that?
Someone needs to introduce Malik to Second Life. That’s about the only place he’ll find a woman that wears daisy dukes & F*ck-Me heels on a daily basis. Added bonus, tho… she’ll be beautifully disproportionate, into 3- & 4- ways, and disease free!
@bunnyball – thank you! Now I need to get on with the job in hand – trying to convince Malik that he should lower his expectations and date me. I’m even considering letting him wear a condom …. just him though.
All foolish mistakes Shinsplints but have no fear, I will give you a 5 step lesson on how to get rich, handsome, succesful bachelors like malik (richness, handsomeness and succesfulness will all be relative…mostly to homeless people) to like you. Step 1: forget any knowledge you have, this will frighten and agitate your average bulliten posting man. Step 2: dress everyday like you’re on your way to work. At the strip club. Step 3: Become a stripper! (this will give you both immediate power over and access to men like malik) Step 4:Surgery and lots of make-up, nothing gets a guy like malik going more then fake women. They’re the only ones real enough for him. Step 5: take a ‘good for one date’ ticket and be prepared to pay for everything. Luckily, with all that new stripper money, this won’t be a problem.
Oh Jon, it seems so obvious now. i just hope that in forgetting all of my knowledge i can still count out enough one dollar bills to pay for our meals. dang it i’m still thinking too much! i guess this will be hard work but if it gets me someone like malik, well shit, no pain no gain right?