Tuesday, March 2, 2010


previous post: Lamebook Party! Austin, TX



  1. And a good morning to all

  2. Poor Heidi. All she has to do is block Pigwhore, then her posts won’t show up again. I hope someone told her how simple it is to block people on Facebook.

    The “have a loverly day” made it especially funny.

  3. Heidi,

    You’re not going to get Pigwhore back.

    Get over it.

  4. I don’t understand how this diatribe isn’t asking her friends to choose Heidi over the “crosseyed pig”.

  5. I think someone is clamoring to be blocked. “Heidi” sounds more like “Olga”

  6. Pig whores ? now where are they getting the money for that then ??

  7. Oh gosh. “if you frickin hated her she wouldnt be on your list fertilizin your farms” made this amazing.

  8. @iPwn: I want to use that as some kind of catchphrase. For some reason I’m hearing it in a country accent.

  9. “I’m gonna remove myself from FB” made me giggle

  10. What a lovely way to start your day, by posting a long-winded, inane, bitter, meandering rant on Facebook! SO much more “fun” than simply blocking ‘pigwhore’. I’d be curious to know how far her friend count dipped next time she logged in. On the other hand, there’s also the possibility that she got some new friend requests, particularly from dudes who heard about that post and are hoping to catch a virtual cat fight on FB sometime soon.

  11. I sense a felony conviction in Heidi’s future.

  12. “plz b my friend flowers bullshit” made me LOL audibly.

  13. Wow Heidi… PMS much?!

  14. Everyone who knows “the hated one” is obligated to use her loverly profile photo as their own.

  15. Heidi, lay off the caps lock for a while.

  16. I’d keep someone this awesome on my friends list, for all the hilarity they’d provide. It’d mean I wouldn’t have to head straight on over here to lamebook for my daily lulz.

  17. Facebook causes so much stress in stupid people

  18. >.< SHE COULD JUST DELETE AND BLOCK PIGWHORE…hmm pigs make money =/ whoaa ;) get it on :) when a pig has an orgasm it lasts for 30 mins :O… pigwhore :D

  19. The Farmville reference made this golden.

  20. It’s better the devil you know! Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer!
    I wonder if pigwhore actually does have a ‘crosseyed pigface’ ??

  21. Because clicking the ‘block’ button is just too damn hard these days.

  22. C’mon you people. You’re not that slow. She’s not even friends with pigwhore, let alone blocking her. She’s seeing pigwhore’s comments and wall posts showing up on the pages of mutual friends and apparently that’s so awful that she has to rant about it.

  23. i wonder how many of heidi’s friends chose to keep pigwhore over heidi.. i would. i mean, at least pigwhore sends “please b my friend flowers bullshit”.

  24. She’s being way too hard on pigwhore. After all, pigs need lovin’ too, and sometimes pigs need to pay for that lovin’. Pigwhore provides a valuable service to the pork industry. A sexually sated pig is a happy pig, and a happy pig makes a good ham.

  25. Chinchillazilla

    I love how Tina comes in and is so rational.

  26. You can block people when you aren’t their friend and it stops their comments from being seen on others’ statuses.


    Yeah, because Facebookicide threats are oh-so-effective. Nimrod.

  28. Pigwhore! I love it!

  29. How much do you want to bet that Heidi’s boyfriend left her for cross-eyed pig whore….?


  31. oh, and @iPwn FTW, best username ever, hope it’s original.

  32. Hmm. Apparently blocking pigwhore, or laying off the Facebook for a while are not anywhere near as fun as ordering your friends to delete someone because their presence on the Internet bothers you.

    Also, I like how leaving Facebook is not really an option, even though it’s presented in the list of options. But I want to pick it!

  33. @2fst4u – I didn’t know that. Then again, I’ve never been so bent out of shape over someone I wasn’t friends with that the mere sight of their name made me go off on a caps-lock fueled rampage. Maybe I need to work on that.

    And that’s odd…. I initially typed “caps-lock fueled misspelled rampage,” but I went back and she actually didn’t make any gross misspellings (I’m not counting the annoying u=you or not using an apostrophe kind of stuff). I’m sure there’s something I could nitpick, but compared to most of what else I’ve seen on FB, she’s a mild genius. I just saw caps lock and angry and my mind automatically associated it with poor spelling.

  34. overreaction of the week.


  36. TLDR

  37. TLDR? please explain.

  38. I’m sure if we all have a look, there’s a cross-eyed pigwhore somewhere on our fb feed.
    I can think of one on mine right now.

  39. He couldn’t be fucked reading it ee, that’s usually me, but had to when I saw the word pigwhore.

  40. ok, disregard. wow, that wine is working, big surprise!

  41. Have one for me cowgirl!

  42. I’ll have more then one!

  43. Haha
    I wonder what was going through her head when she was typing this, it sure wasn’t what she was typing, maybe something like:

    “I want attention, give me attention, I must have ALL the attention in the world… mwhahaha”

  44. @word, where is soup? I think we could use some entertainment.

  45. He was here this morning my time, it’s the afternoon here now. Must be late for you right now, wine at midnight, midweek, go ee!

  46. word, it was a VERY rough day!

  47. Believe me ee, I get it, feel free to guzzle.

  48. It’s so on.

  49. Just don’t drink too much, you might have dreams about cross-eyed pigwhores.
    Or is that a good thing?

  50. Not sure? last week I had a dream about bananas (seriously) I woke up saying “peel them, peel them, they could go bad.” no joke. It was a awkward moment for me and the mister. So pigwhores… we’ll have to wait to see, I’ll keep you posted.

  51. So what? I’m just a puppet, here for your amusement?

  52. um yes. Wrong answer?

  53. Fuck puppet Soup, get it right.

  54. word, I fucking love me some soup!

  55. Well, I’m hurt. Not as much as the implied fisting would probably entail, but hurt none the less.

  56. Why would you be hurt, your needed…wanted. You are hurt by this?

  57. ee is drunk Soup, have your wicked way with her.

  58. Hey! I have one more glass until I’m drunk! OK, well maybe one more sip, whatever.

  59. Here I thought we all had an emotional bond, but now I find I’m just a talking fuck toy. I’m a sensitive guy, and…now look, you made my penis cry.

  60. I’ll watch from the wings, assorted toys in hand and insitu.

  61. soup, making your penis cry isn’t a bad thing. Ponder that.

  62. You want some emotional lovin’ Soup?
    Sorry honey, but it seems I’m all wrong for you.

  63. he did say that he was sensitive, he just didn’t state where.

  64. word, he’s bringing “feelings” into this. What’s up with that?

  65. What guy wouldn’t want to be some girls fuck toy? Isn’t that a life dream?

  66. I’ve got feelings too, and so have you ee, just not the emotional ones, but the gooooooood ones!

  67. btw, lexluther, I love your name!

  68. Oh well, I was trying something new. Didn’t work huh? You guys know I want you both to have my abortions.

  69. You have no idea!

  70. ee, it’s sexluther and I love it too.

  71. I do actually have emotions, but they’re kind of like my mom’s boobs. I know they’re there, but I don’t want to feel them.

  72. I’m a walking nympho, and I need a fix.

  73. Well do your thing Soup, spread your seed across the computer, I’ll be ready on this end.

  74. I’m a sitting, standing, running, jumping, skipping, hopping, dancing, prancing one ee.

  75. well word, that should get him going.

  76. Now, I of course understand that I am the prize to be held above all others, but really, how hard can it be to get some local cock?

  77. We are fucking junkies, literally.

  78. I have local and interstate cock, now working on international.

  79. I know, I should really be in bed, but fuck it. Literally!

  80. thanks ee….but wait, now i’m a fuck toy too?

  81. yes! lex, you have made yourself a toy.

  82. mind you, i’m totally ok with it, just want to be clear on where i stand.

  83. You opened yourself up, might as well take it.

  84. awesome. i figure anyone who dreams about peeling bananas (wtf was that about by the way?) has to be worthwhile…but what bout the mister?

  85. Doing your part for cultural relations, one dick at a time. I commend you for the services your vag provides to the men of this world.

    Either of you try the ice dildo?

  86. he’s not some hulk that will kick my ass right?

  87. Pig whore hmm thats one way to bring in the bacon.

  88. not gonna lie, sounds counter productive to me.

  89. lex, you’d have to look back at the posts to learn about he banana, and we don’t mention the mister.

    No ice dildo Soup, I’m afraid random people go in my fridge all the time, that wouldn’t turn out well.

  90. Ahh ee, and I thought I was your surfer toy boy! Don’t know if I’m up for sharing.

  91. Never an ice dildo as such, but ice in the mouth and then on certain areas is pleasant for both parties.

  92. Spanka, I was always told that sharing is caring.

  93. ok sounds fair. i’m just learning the rules, forgive me if i blunder.

  94. I was an only child, plus other kid just ruin your toys.

  95. Lex, the monkey holes on these broads apparently go beyond our normal expectations, so I assume that occasionally they need something more than a mere flesh rod to satisfy their desire.

  96. blunder away, now what do ya got? (I like to cut down to business)

  97. Just so you fellas have got it right, ee is my girl first.

  98. Spanka, I too was an only child, and I shared my toys, won’t you share yours, we won’t ruin them.

  99. Spanka, then how did you practice kissing? And blowjobs? Man, you missed out.

  100. That’s true, word and I have a very ‘deep” connection.

  101. apparently. ee seems to be sharing quite a bit. i doubt that word can compare to this walking jumping sleeping eating running sitting volley-balling nympho.

  102. soup i hope you had a sister…..

  103. Dude thats what cousins are for.

  104. oh wait….unless you are a girl. then i hope you had lots of home videos.

  105. compare? She’s right there with me. It’s like a 2 for 1!

  106. That’s right ee, and how long was that banana we did again, 12 inches? so I guess we’re at least 6 inches deep a piece.

  107. Ee I will happily share my toy with you.

  108. sexluther don’t know me at all ee hahaha!

  109. just so i’m clear: word and ee are girls and spanka and soup are boys? am i correct?

  110. word, I’m missing the banana.

    Spanka, share away!

  111. That would be a yes sex.

  112. lex, you are correct about that.

  113. ok good to know. now i won’t accidentally put the moves on some dude.

  114. Well, I identify as a guy, but I’ve got a vestigal twat. I use it to hold my wallet. No unsightly bulges except the important ones, right ladies?

  115. Just don’t hurt yourself ee, it can have a mind of it’s own.

  116. In all the right places Soup, still goes well with your tool belt. Grrr.

  117. If by that you mean you’re tight with your wallet Soup, then that’s unappealing.

  118. Do tell Spanka? What can it do?

  119. that’s gotta be awkward trying to pay for something though.

    “that’ll be 14.50″
    “ok….hang on i’ll be back in just a sec. gotta go get my wallet.”

  120. *wallet out.”

    damn my proof reading skills.

  121. No, I do my kegels. I just shoot the wallet right on to the counter. It’s quite the sight to behold. And no worries word, I make plenty of extra cash working parties for sexually confused people on the weekend.

  122. Lex, sex, what have you. It’s 2 am in my book, I could give a fuck about your grammar, just please the ladies.

  123. Well ee, it is kind of like a transformer, you just need to work it it turn it into a decepticon.

  124. A sight I would love to see Soup, and I’d pay for it as well.

  125. Spanka, my snake is named Megatron, I can transform it!

  126. soup I reall want to see that! I told you that you were my first man crush.

  127. My snake or your snake?

  128. Just pick one Spanka, all will work out.

  129. So, a decepticon putting the old camshaft to another decepticon, is that gay?

  130. does megatron have epic battles?

  131. All the ladies on lamebook already love Soup, and now the boys are hard for him too.
    Soup, you’re it.

  132. i don’t know soup, but it’s incest at best.

  133. ee,just so you know there is nothing nice or gentle about a decepticon.

  134. sex, Yes! Epic!

  135. Eh, if Spanka got some implants, I’d probably buy him some flowers.

  136. Spanka I know this. I grew up with this, doesn’t matter.

  137. so soup, you must be a boob man too then?

  138. I’ve got some mean pecks, does that count soup?

  139. Well, it would certainly draw attention away from his cock, so that would be a plus.

  140. Should I step out of this conversation? I could retire for the evening?

  141. oh that made me laugh harder than spanka’s decepticon when he thinks about you

  142. ee, thats good to know I just like the ladies to know that they are in for a wild ride.

  143. Oh, eenerbl, you know you’re the one I want to titty fuck.

  144. Thanks Soup, I was feeling lonely and left out :(

  145. Lex what do you call yours?? Rainbow bright?

  146. Yes ee, I think we should let the boys have their bro fest.

  147. Spanka, as long as they transform to attempt to win the battle that’s all that matters. There are no sides in my world.

  148. if you feel that way again, just remember that i’m always your sex….toy.

  149. Ee, soup can have the titties I get the holes.

  150. i never named mine….is that weird?

  151. You too, word. I just didn’t think you’d want the knob knocking. I’d get inside you and do calisthenics.

  152. word, you are right on point.

    Boys: Spanka, Soup, Sex… (word, in a more private way) my bed is calling me, but my dreams will be filled with you. Night!

  153. Well Soup, enjoy ee’s titties.
    ee, I love you as always.
    You other lot, don’t know you well enough yet, but bye have a good evening anyway.

  154. Well lets name it now Lex, has anyone got any idea what lex should call his wang?

  155. Kryptonite?

  156. take it easy ladies.

  157. Marvel?

  158. My good night thought to sex: honey, give it a name of power! Night!

  159. I’m dreaming of THAT tonight Soup.

  160. that’s pretty good….

  161. out of the suggestions i’m leaning towards marvel.

  162. Isn’t Lex Luther part of the DC universe? Go ahead and call it Marvel if you want the name to be colored in wrongness. Even more so than your actual dink.

  163. Well soup he’s not likely to call it ‘Smallville’ is he?

  164. Twat

  165. I can kind of sympathise with her, I had a “pig whore” of my own who kept popping up even after i deleted the ugly fucker – gotta love that block button :P

  166. Chewbacca shagger

    I think i love “pigwhore”. Anyone that can piss someone off so much and still be friends to so many people can only be a master at her/his craft.

  167. Kids say the darndest things

  168. Crosseyed pigface FTW!!!
    and when did lamebook become eharmonyforretarts?

  169. gosh, that’s 2 minutes i won’t ever get back…

  170. I lol’d so much at this its embarrassing
    “Pigwhore” is probably awesome, she can piss this Heidi off with no effort.

  171. ManBearPigWhore?

  172. You can always tell a good rant…from the lack of apostrophes!

  173. Fuck yeah Goldman. I can’t believe no one else thought of that yet. YOU WIN.

  174. U mad :D

  175. The funniest thing thus far in this post and thread, posted by drukrnwhpre –

    “when did lamebook become eharmonyforretarts?”

  176. lol

  177. spammers suck

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