Friday, June 11, 2010

sOILed

previous post: Lil Wins

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74 Comments

  1. krasivaya_devushka

    He (or she ?)…well Tyre, whatever it is, cannot be serious. Are people really that stupid? My God.

  2. krasivaya, I thought that… can Tyre REALLY be serious?

    Though to be fair to the guy, none of the others explained what a councilman does. Did they not see it, or do they just not know, hmmmmmm?

  3. @hobo – They were probably too dumbfounded by the oil question that they forgot all about the councilman question.

  4. I prefer my sea maidens to come pre-lubed.

  5. Jada is also an idiot. Tyre was asking if it was the oil you put into your car (lubricant for the engine) or oil that you put in your gas tank.

    Yes, Tyre is ridiculous, but she was never answered properly.

    The crude oil is the base component that can be turned into either. It’s not like gas pumps out of the ocean floor.

    Cooking oil comes from unicorn urine. So there’s that, also.

    And a councilman councils men.

    All your answers questioned Tyre?

  6. the second one is quite possibly the biggest display of idiocy… ever.

  7. I really enjoyed the first one. As a person living right off the Gulf please boycott BP.

  8. Well Jada is wrong too, in that she seems to suggest that petrol (gasoline) and engine oil is the same thing. Isn’t that what Tyre’s asking?

  9. maybe if less people drove hummers and SUVs, and more people cycled, took trains, buses, there wouldn’t be oil rigs all over the place?

    if you boycott bp, other companies will get bigger and need to drill for more oil, causing more potential spills.

    this just happened with bp, and bp it seems were negligent and lazy about it all. but it really could have happened with any oil company. the problem isn’t bp – it’s the linear historical perspective of the west that sees progress as higher gdp at any cost, and the world as an unending resource, that’s to blame.

    kaytee, you’re going to boycott bp – would you boycott gas and oil altogether…?

  10. Why would you wear pumps while tanking gas?

  11. Personally I’m going to start using BP gasoline MORE often now. They apologized and said “we’ll try harder next time”. I went out and poured 5 gallons of gasoline into my local pond to show my support for them.

  12. If you boycott the BP gas stations you’re only hurting small business owners who have no say in what goes on with drilling.
    Just saying.

  13. It’s not entirely accurate to say that you’re only hurting small business owners. Where do you think the local owners get their gas from?

  14. Tyre should try cooking with the oil in the gulf. But not until after he/she/IT has already started a company to market it as cooking oil. The slogan can be “U NO IT ARE GOOD” or something like that.

    The picture of the sign at the BP station… seriously, Lamebook??? Have you guys been hiding under a rock for the last two weeks?

  15. The oil spill is just another thing telling us that we human beings seriously need to reassess our priorities. But what can we do? We can’t all go live in the woods and live off mushrooms we grow under our long cabins.

    I have only thought of 1 thing I would lik to do to make a difference – buy a motor scooter to commute to work. Unfortunately I feel like the roads where I live are not suited to motorbikes and driving one will seriously put my life at risk. I have tried petitioning the government to build motorbike raised superhighways and tunnels but they won’t listen. I am cooking up something special in my garage though and so we’ll see if that makes them listen. I didn’t watch my buddies die face down in the mud for this crap.

    (This is a joke – please dont raid my house again, ok FBI???? Wankers.)

  16. lol @ walter!

  17. Tyre and everyone who replied to him need to go swimming in the Gulf and take nice big gulps of water.

  18. @alordslums
    so sedans and wagons are fine? it’s only really in the u.s that people drive hummers and suv’s.. so i take it you’re only talking to americans..
    and the cycling idea.. yeah and im not sure about cyclists in the u.s, but cyclists here are predominantly painfully difficult people to be around as people.. and even worse to share the road with..
    now, im not sure if cycling just attracts wankers, or if people turn into wankers once they start cycling.. but i do know that i am not willing to take the risk.
    boycotting bp would only be a win for the other big oil companies, not mother nature. i think anyway

  19. I think the spelling here is worse than the question

  20. @Titsonabull

    China has seen the highest increase in Hummer/SUV sales in the past 5 to 10 years.

    United States roads are not conducive to cycling. I’ve seen roads overseas and they are laid out with the idea of giving room for all. In my city, less than 1% of the roads even have bicycle lanes. Public transport in the USA sucks also. It would take Billions of dollars to rework roads and install subway systems and all that. Needs to be done, but would still be expensive.

    I type too much, I apologize.

  21. @kaytee

    You do realize that BP gas stations are not owned by BP. They are owned by individuals who pay BP an initial royalty for using their name. So you won’t be hurting BP, but instead you will be screwing over [insert race of gas station owner] of their American dream.

    In fact, BP’s exploration and production doesn’t necessarily sell their crude oil to their refining and marketing division- they sell to whoever will pay the most for crude. They could sell it to solely a refining company like Valero, or to another integrated oil and gas company like Exxon or Chevron. This is something that oil companies do. If they would, how would exploration only companies like Nobel Energy, Swift Oil and Gas or Anadarko make such a high profit?

    And finally, refining and marketing companies do not sell their processed gasoline to service stations. They sell again to anyone, most of the time it depends on where the refineries in relation to the service stations they are selling the gas to. This is because transportation costs make up about 20% of the cost you pay at the pump. Again, a standard procedure for O&G companies.

    So you won’t be hurting BP financially at all. Just saying.

  22. @texasbeauty

    You’re trying to say that bp doesn’t make any consistent profit from gas stations?
    They’re gonna just hand over the rights to their name for an initial royalty fee and nothing more?
    I find that hard to believe.

  23. Not all of us can just ride a bike or take the bus. I have a nice big SUV because it suits my lifestyle.

    I agree though that those soccer moms with the hummers need to go….

  24. Exactly, BP just sells their name- similar to a franchise. Almost all of the profits made at gas stations really just come from the items in store.

    I work for a very large oil company, my husband also works for another large oil company. Trust me, ALL integrated oil companies like Exxon, Marathon, Shell and Chevron don’t exclusively sell to their stations or even their own refining divisions. That would put them a HUGE financial disadvantage.

  25. LOL!!

  26. thank you for the lesson Texas. I’m didn’t know they didn’t sell exclusively. Now that you say that though, that makes a lot of sense.

  27. Titsonabull,

    Not taking up cycling because *some* cyclists are wankers is completely asinine. I understand when people have a really far commute or there are other legitimate factors that make cycling unfeasible for them, but what a silly, superficial reason if I ever heard one. There’s no shortage of wankers anywhere, in any walk of life. So you don’t like sharing the road with cyclists? Then where do you get off talking about what’s good for “mother nature”? Hypocrisy.

  28. haha oil companies don’t make money off oil… if you believe that i have a bridge to sell you in brooklyn.

  29. @texas i would have to imagine that i am in the minority then if gas stations make their profit from the stuff they sell inside, because i generally spend about $35 at the pump and $2 inside the store.

    also, you mentioned that they sell crude to everyone, but what about the refined product, do they sell the refined product to everyone?

  30. MsBuzzkillington

    I need to NO, I need to NO.

    And mary? Seriously? Jade is rite!

    Rite about what?

    I dunno.

    You don’t know? *smacks head on desk*

  31. lols @ beckyfellini to start with i did not say anything about what’s good for mother nature.. i believe i only referred to boycotting bp as not being more of a win for other big oil companies, not for mother nature.. you self righteous toss..

    and when i said “some”, i should have said “majority” given your over reaction to a tongue in cheek comment.. cyclists on roads in australia are to the best of my knowledge wankers. not only has every one of them ive ever met or had contact with been a twat… they also bully and harass and try to intimidate cars on roads not designed at all for them, which (for some strange reason) they have equal rights to.. every bit of information that you have given me in your message tells me that you are a: a wanker b: a cyclist.. or my guess c: the wanker cyclist.. i merely listed one reason out of many as to why i don’t like cyclists.. i chose what i thought was the more humourous of the possibilities.. as i didn’t feel like writing about the effect cyclists have on our infrastructure.. but perhaps i made an error of judgment. though i thought this was a tongue in cheek site.

  32. @shipoopi
    texas is right i think. the petrol stations in austalia earn pretty much nothing from fuel..
    that’s why the supermarkets are buying out the service stasions because all profit is from sales of in store items.. which they can easily service..

  33. hahaha, YES! You called me a wanker! And better yet, a wanker cyclist! Without even knowing anything about me – awesome! Secretly I had hoped for such a clever and outside-the-box rebuttal to my post. Thank you for fulfilling that request.

    Anyone who makes such broad, demeaning generalizations about diverse groups of people is obviously very well-informed and intelligent. I better withdraw from this argument now to prevent any further embarrassment to my family. Good day, sir.

  34. Tyre may be stupid, but at least he’s asking questions and trying to learn new things. That’s more than I can say for most people these days.

  35. you are certainly a wanker.. you ignored the contents of my post to focus on one thing that is no different than your effort to sum up my first post.. you are creating a side of seriousness to my comments that just doesn’t exist.. you are a sad twat looking to demean and bully an individual in a public arena by stirring up shit and then pretending to take some sort of moral highroad.. thats a rat tactic.. you are a rat.. here’s a a profile of you i’ve made from the information you have given me… you are probably insecure because you try to mentally overpower people online to feed your ego and give you a deluded sense of achievement.. your insecurities probably come from your shyness and inability to show anyone in the real world your mental prowess.. you’ve probably been overlooked in every thing you’ve tried and by every one you’ve met… your whole life… you are also a massive control freak which is another thing that costs you any meaningful relationships.. overall you are a pretty average catch.. your name is that of an 80′s album title unless im mistaken which says you are a gen x.. so you lack confidence potentially high achieving but lacking any real soul..unpragmatic but savvy.. hows that for a generalization..

  36. CommentsAtLarge

    It is the simple ironies of life that make me smile, like the first pic. The Ariel one did too, but that probably just means I’m going to hell.

  37. Comments, you can get in the hand basket with me, and we’ll go together.

  38. @Titsonabull – ha ha, you’re an Aussie? Then you were BORN a wanker. Maybe you should try leaving that overheated shit hole you live in sometime and seeing what the rest of the world is like – get yourself some culture, and all that, eh?

    I guess that you hate cyclists because they get in the way of your racing Honda Civic with its dickslapper exhaust and cheap plastic spinner wheels … but it will look cooler once you save up your paper run money for that undercar lighting :-)

  39. I weep for humanity because of people like Tyre.

  40. Hey, don’t tread on Tyre. He’s just trying to find some traction in this crazy world. His “friends” could try to steer him down the right path, but no, they would rather deflate his ego.

  41. Pikasam, us Aussies may wank (we’re only human), but we’re not all wankers, so quit the generalising.

  42. Why do Americans insist on calling it “gas”, when it is so obviously a liquid?

  43. I’m with Soup. Tyre just needs a friend to stop his wheels from coming off completely.

  44. The same reason British people insist on calling tires “tyres” when we’re obviously not in the fucking 1800s anymore.

  45. CommentsAtLarge

    @ My Fair Wordyperv

    Sounds good to me – hell may be a little warm for my liking, but at least the ride down will be fun ;)

  46. @snip – because it’s short for “gasoline.” from ” gas (q.v.) + chemical suffix -ine/-ene. current spelling is 1871; shortened form gas first recorded Amer.Eng. 1905.” as for the “gas” prefix, it is defined as a “substance possessing perfect molecular mobility and the property of indefinite expansion, as opposed to a solid or liquid.” -dictionary.com
    TADA!!!!!

  47. @Trye and friends, if they read this.
    The oil that is leaking into the ocean is Petroleum. Petroleum is a raw material made into a number of products. It can be taken to oil refineries to be refined into gasoline or diesel fuel before it goes in your car as fuel. Oil refineries also make Petroleum into asphalt base, ethane, heating oils, kerosene, jet fuel, and liquefied petroleum gas. The motor-oil for your car originates from petroleum and non-petroleum chemical ingredients. The oil that is leaking into the ocean is not used as cooking oil.

  48. just google fractional distillation guys.

  49. @thejetblast
    that would require some understanding of fractional distillation.

  50. Comments, don’t worry. You’ll have acclimatised to the heat after our ride together.

  51. @shipoopi

    Oil companies do NOTsell their refined product exclusively to their own stations. Like I said before, they generally sell based on their locations as about 20% of the price you pay at the pump is based on transportation costs.

    Take this example: Marathon Oil, Corporate HQ in Houston, has most of their refineries (5 out of 7) in the Midwest. Essentially all Marathon stations are located in the Midwest (Marathon is the company with the most service stations in the Midwest- including the most in both Ohio and Michigan).

    However, Marathon does have 2 refineries in the south one in Texas City, the other in Louisiana (which happens to be the largest one). If they sold their refined products exclusively to Marathon/SSA stations the transportation costs would be absolutely ridiculous.

    Therefore, they sell to whatever stations they can, which works. In addition, many oil companies sell to places like Kroger, or form joint ventures with rest stops (like Pilot or Bucee’s).

  52. not so tough adiapta. stuff boils at different temperatures.

  53. PeanutButtercup

    @ titsonabull (love the name by the way :) )
    I hate to get needlessly involved, or generalise from the few posts you have commented on, but it appears that you are the one getting into needless fights with other commenters and throwing around insults. Bucky was expressing disbelief at your stance on cyclists, not making a personal attack, which is how you seem to have taken it, and subsequently flipped out.
    You need to calm the farm, seriously!

  54. Chill out titsonabull. Take a debate class. This is a website.

  55. CommentsAtLarge

    @Word

    The prospect of said ride (yay double entendres) takes all the negativity out of that saying. Making the world a better place, one expression at a time ;)

  56. Titsonabull, re #35, do me!!??

  57. alright it seems i owe you guys an apology.. i did go looking for fights, and i was quite intoxicated.. i have been off work for three weeks so far due to shoulder surgery which i guess has left me with a lot of pent up energy which i guess i didn’t channel in a constructive way.. so sorry again to anyone who i owe it to…

    @Walter Sobchak
    i presume you mean, do your profile.. ok here goes:

    At first glance Walter seems a person that time has passed by. Someone who has lived so long that the world is no longer as it was when he learned to survive in it many years ago. Unfortunately for Walter, the world was never as he wanted it to be and he has never fit into it. He deals with the world around him as he wants it to be. He is very pleasant, as long as he perceives that others treat him with courtesy, and respect the things about which he cares. When you fail to recognize the protocol of his interaction he is immediately aroused to a fit of rage because “There are rules” and you have violated them. It is not that he wants his way because it is his way, but because it is right, fair, and respectful.

    You are more likely to injured by Walter if you fail to remove your hat when the flag is passing by than if you accidentally drop something on his foot. Accidents are a part of life but blatant premeditated disrespect for the flag is a hanging offence. Walter believes that you know everything that he knows. If you don’t then he will take the time to explain it to you. If you don’t believe, or discount what he says, then you are an idiot or at least “out of your league.”

    Walter has studied everything worth knowing, “I once dabbled in pacifism myself.” He is cultured, sophisticated, witty, and if you embarrass him in any situation and demonstrate that he is not really any of these things, then and you have “Crossed the line.” Walter’s greatest short coming is that he is naïve. Just as Richard Nixon didn’t know how to break the law and bungled it, Walter knows only of the things he speaks from books and movies. A sophisticated plan for dealing with kidnappers is to “Grab one of them and beat it out of ‘um.”

    Walter is a man whose personal life is in such chaos that he resorts to rules in order to provide concrete support in order that he can function upright and not drown in the disorder of his life. Pulling a 45 Auto on poor Smokey because, “It’s a League game, Smoke; You were over the line; Mark it zero” is an example of this.

    Walter was most impressed when the Dude told him that the assailants were “Nihilists.” Walter responds,“Nihilists! Fuck me!” Walter tells us two things here. He accepted the fact that the kidnappers were nihilists and that they believed in nothing. This makes them the polar opposite of Walter whose whole life is ballasted in rules. He also accepted that these were very dangerous people because of the values that they held. This is so telling because at the end of the movie when they tell him that it wasn’t fair that they weren’t going to get the ransom, he shouted, “Fair! Who’s the nihilist here?” I think that he was most angry because they had violated there own standards of behavior by wanting fairness.

    These losers decide that they will accept what ever cash Donny, the Dude and Walter have on them in lieu of ransom. Everyone seems OK with this except Walter, “No! What’s mine is mine!” Like Thoran Okanshield in the Hobit, standing alone against two armies refusing to give up the dragons horde of treasures. Donny’s telling question, “Are they going to hurt us?” and Walter’s very caring and quiet answer, “No Donny, these men are cowards” demonstrates that Walter has no idea how serious the situation really is.

    The most phenomenal thing is that when the three of them attack, Walter, who has a pistol in his bowling bag, instead of ending it right there and making them leave, instead throws the bag at one of them, breaking three of his ribs. Then he rips another’s ear off with his teeth and punches him in the face. This is all movie behavior. Not real, but Walter makes it real. It is very hard to go through life this way, never growing, never building on ideas and incorporating the inevitable changes in beliefs and values that knowledge and experience requires. I cry for Walter because he seems so very real to me. This is a man who like a moth around a flame just keeps going in circles.

    hope it helps

  58. oh and no, i did not write this

  59. Am I the only one who’s looking at Tyre’s question and thinking everyone commenting on it is an idiot?

  60. …God’s investment (his son!) in you, was SO great, he could NEVER abandon you!-

  61. That was a pretty well written analysis of Walter Sobchak… except for the author’s assessment that Walter “has no idea how serious the situation is really is.” Walter’s judgement of the situation was fair and accurate.

  62. Not that that reflects on you Bulltit, you lazy googling bastard.

    ;)

  63. lazy.. yes.. but writing one for you would be more than just writing it.. i would have to go find a video store in this area i’ve recently moved too.. sit through 118 min of a movie i found well written but only mildly entertaining the first and only time i saw it, some 10 or so years ago.. pausing and rewinding to explore and understand the depths of walter.. then summarize it as an in depth analysis of him, when i have no experience at all with psychology. when i haven’t written anything since i left school at 16 years old, some 7 years ago. for some guy that i have no interest in anything more than annoying him.. thats a tall order if you ask me…

    i actually agree with the authors assessment of that situation. walter lives in a fantasy world, he definitely had no idea the seriousness of the situation… he has no understanding of reality in general.. the only reason he’s survived life this long with his attitude, is luck.. but you are entitled to your opinion

  64. Damn,the comments section on LB is better than Oprah,Maury,Jerry and all the rest put together..You guys keep this up and they’re gonna start charging to log on..

  65. @Titsonabull

    Are you drunk again? Because I’d love to argue with you. Now, I’m usually drunk when I’m commenting here (like now), but that just leads to the standard baby rape jokes. But I could get angry. Assault someone’s character. Are you game?

  66. @ soup.. feel free to “assault my character”.. though i will be busy for the next 20 hours or so.. so don’t be disheartened by me not responding.. i will eventually.. i’ll make sure i’m drunk and ready by the time i do.. and if anyone else wants to join in thats fine…
    i look forward to being made to look like a fool.
    until then..

  67. Well now you’ve mad me sad. So…you’re a good person, and normally I’d suck your dick, but spunk that tastes like sadness and shame just kills my libido.

  68. Ever noticed how people who type in all caps are usually ignorant? I wonder if there’s a connection…

  69. The problem with mermaids is there is no v in which to put you p in…’tis a shame.

  70. @disturbed artist… i wonder if they shout everything..
    like people who dont turn off their ipods when asked a question.

  71. So… ‘Tyre’ is a human name now?

  72. Unfortunatly, Tyre, you are still the dummy.

  73. Jada is not the sharpest tool in the shed…

  74. That oil and gas question was a legitimate. I dont know the difference. They didnt teach me that in school, so how else would I have learned? All I know is that gas is gas and is mysteriously linked to oil prices, 5w 30 belongs in the oil reserve in my car, and theres a butt load of oil in the ocean. Big fricken deal..

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