Wednesday, January 5, 2011


previous post: Time to Split



  1. i lol’d at ‘irritability is a sign of protein deficiency’

  2. i know a good cure for a protein deficiency:)

  3. I agree vegetarianism. I do not, however, agree with militants.

    Kudos. It was annoying as all hell, but it was somehow funny.

  4. i have been a veggo for 3 years now and i sure as hell don’t have a protein deficiency, so what lukas is saying is COMPLETE BULLSHIT. I AM NOT IRRITABLE!!!! SO F*CK OFF, LUKAS, YOU UGLY MOFO.

    *off to eat some quorn*

  5. fuck vegetarians… plants are living too… If the animals had that much brain capacity then some of them would band together and figure out how to get away… but it turns out they just have a bunch of ganglia in their heads that tell them to eat, chew and shit… so you know what, fuck em… throw them on the grill

  6. I got tired of listening to my friend lord it over me about how amazing she was because she was a vegan. Then I had her read the book “The Vegetarian Myth”. She can suck a whole pig through a straw now.

  7. so fleurdeleslie, you think it’s okay to critize vegans and vegetarians? cause if so you really have no place in this conversation and can back off right now. i may not support the vegan lifestyle, but what they are trying to do is righteuosly not eat meat and make others feel guilty about doing otherwise, while having the worst farts imaginable, how can you be against that?

  8. Hippiecat your comment made me lolz. Great work! Keep it up!

  9. fleurdeleslie, I’ve been wanting ask you this for some time, but are you Uber Username Man or whatever? I could be wrong, but didn’t you admit to being him? Also, are you wordprevert? They’ve made another appearance today after a long break (I thought they’d quit with that name). Also, have you been posting as me today on a few of the old LB posts (Smell Her Fingers, etc.)? Just curious, that’s all.

  10. All queries aside, I did like your comment about sucking a whole pig through a straw.

  11. hpcan, I was waiting for the post to take a turn that way. I’m glad the comments didn’t let me down at least.

  12. Wordy, that anything like being able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

  13. I don’t know. It just sounds kind of revolting, but in a funny way.

  14. I liked this one, no critical, sarcastic comments here. I just liked it.

    that hasn’t happened in a loong time.

  15. Ya that one made me laugh.

  16. So, Lamebook, you think it’s okay to copy Fail book’s post? ‘Cause if so, you really have no place in this conversation, and can back off right now. I may not support every Facebook fail that they post, but what they are trying to do is to be funny and make people laugh, how can you be against that?

  17. Also, have you guys noticed that if you ever try to write fail book in one word, then your comment is awaiting moderation? Try it.

  18. LOVE this post, like how their argument deteriorated into the same joke, over and over, with actually pretty snazzy endings. Best I have seen in a long time; it should go into “most popular”

  19. I liked this one a lot! Good Job =)

  20. #18, #19 –
    I agree. If this whole thing is real, I wanna meet these guys.

  21. The wordpervert I know could suck a litter of pigs through a straw. ;) Missed ya babe!

    Nice to see some good ole fashioned Lamebook in action. It just seems to be lacking in originality. I don’t know maybe it’s just me but I think they might be piggy backing off of each other.

  22. I’m sorry, I just heard pig and thought you guys were talking about me….carry on.

  23. so this was like reading a long book, which i never do, therefore i didn’t read this

  24. Well knock me down with a freaking feather (you actually could at the moment)! First, slimjayz, and now, look who’s back. Where the hell have you been, defective?

    My heart has been truly warmed by the return of some of the old crowd. Now if we could just entice a few more back…

  25. I could think of a lot better thing to do with a feather, but whatever tickles yer pickle. Good to see ya word. Same goes to you slim.

  26. Okay, this one had me cracking up. Thank you lamebook for making my evening.

  27. Okay so while we are on the subject of vegans. Will somebody PLEASE tell me how chicken is not meat. When I go to Popeye’s Chicken, they clearly ask me every time,”Would you like white meat or dark meat?”

    Chicken is meat, fish is meat, wood is meat, and plants are made of, YES meat! No matter how you slice it, cook it, fuck it, it doesn’t matter. BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING CELL IS CONSIDER MEAT!

    I’m pretty sure somebody already stated this, but I know how well some of our readers comprehend so I will say it again.

    Plants are ALIVE!!!!

    Wow! I feel somewhat better now…

  28. This is WAY older than lamebook or fail book. Been around the internet for quite some time now.

  29. defective, the white or dark meat option they offer has to do with personal preference (a bit like the best Coen Bros movie), it’s not about whether it’s meat or not. I prefer white meat. As for every single thing being alive, well, I’ll have to ponder that one a bit more, buddy. I never feel one bit sad when eating lettuce, or about pieces of wood. I do, however, occasionally feel sad about all those cute little animals before I eat them…

  30. Aww, a swallower with a heart. How sweet.

  31. Sorry word, I couldn’t help it. I read your whole comment figuratively.

  32. wow, best post I’ve seen in while. So good in fact, I made an account just to comment.

  33. Walter, I see where you’re coming from – in the figurative sense.

  34. Word, I don’t feel bad about eating meat. It’s what we humans have done for as long as we have been around. I do feel bad for the mistreatment of animals though. That doesn’t make me feel bad about eating a nice steak.

    Also, I love this post. Good Job LB.

  35. Lame.

  36. so…

    about this actually being about a year old.

    youre better than this lamebook!

  37. Yey this was funny the whole way through. Not a single comment to let it down. Andrea, 2 weeks eh and you’ve joined PETA already? Way to go.

  38. Great hairy ballsacks! A lamebook submission that is worthy of a “Huzzah”.

    That said, fucking vegetarians…….

  39. People who are all like ‘Ima guna eat steak every day and drive my truck over the roof of that Prius and slap up my g/f when I’ve had some beer cos I’m secretly gay’ are pretty lame. Being vegan is also pretty damn lame. I’d say the boring middle ground is the best way to go, except mediocre people who try to please everyone are seriously fuckin lame. Basically, we’re all lame, and the only documented thing that can cure that is the love of Jebus.

    My vegan friend came over for dinner one time and I’d bought that stupid quorn stuff specially, turns out that’s not even vegan anyway so I just had to make her a sammich. Then she was all like ‘what type of bread are you going to use, is it processed flour or seeded or unleavened’ so I jerked off in it and told her it was non-dairy, vegan mayo. She said it was the best sammich she’d ever had. True story. And she was German.

  40. @ Paranoid (word taught me that) – “fucking vegetarians”? I thought we were friends :(

  41. @ curlyAt the risk of coming over all Frodo/Wallace, I was attempting to leave an ambiguous ending, I now realise this failed and have flagellated myself with a bunch? of celery. My fatha is a veggie but had no time for Linda McCartney and her many veggie/cardboard products, true story.

  42. @ anorexicpanda it was on fail book.. yesterday?.. but i’m pretty sure it was shorter than this one. This one, was far more entertaining :)

    although don’t quote me on that.. I might be lying… by accident of course :)

  43. Poor celery. Your “fatha” is right though, that stuff is revolting. As is tofu.

  44. Word, I have to say I’m with Walter on that one. I’m sorry but I could not take you seriously. You had to much meat swinging around you.

    Don’t feel bad about all the little animals. They are here for the same reasons as everybody else, to survive. We just happen to be on the high end of the food chain. It would be all the same if you were the lil bunny that just got capped as you were coming home from foraging for food for your family.

    That last statement being said, Vegans should thank people like me for eating rabbit that way there is more “non-living plants” for them to eat.

    Population Control . . . . :D

  45. If we’d all just grow up and start eating the cadavers of other humans then there would be far more food to go round. Seriously-I’d donate my dead body to the third World, so long as it was made clear that it was for non-sexual, consumptive purposes

  46. Gonzo, as long as you don’t make any of my samiches, I will made sure your wish is honored.

  47. I think it’s only right that animals should be shown proper respect and treated in the same manner as humans.

    That’s why I always force my pigs to wear lipstick and eyeshadow, additionally I pretend to feel guilty after i bolt one off into their eye.

  48. Make**

    damn mangled finger :/

  49. The same stuff that went in the sammich exists inside my (nondefective) body, defective. Be careful which parts of me you nibble on.

    Sorry, should read ‘be careful on which parts of me you nibble’.

    That’s better.

  50. Are P.E.T.A against choking the chicken and spanking the monkey?

    ‘Cos if they’re gonna stop my self abuse, Ima gonna throw a bag of kittens into a wood-chipper.

  51. No, paranoid, that organisation is called P.O.P.E

  52. Good one, as are the comments. I hate the self-righteous…
    After that, reading the 20+pages I must have missed will be a letdown I fear.

  53. Shauna and Andrea got owned big time :)

  54. Really, Lamebook? This has been floating around on the internet for years.

  55. Finally, a post that made me laugh. Well I’m off to go seal clubbing while eating some ribs, cheers!

  56. Bravo! 8 out of 10 for the post…

    okay!! so… my turn!!

    So Anders you think its a total lame post? if so you really have sum place in this conversation and cannot back off right now. i may not support lamebook financially but what they are trying to do is make you laugh, how can you be against that?

  57. Hahaha, I found this very amusing, I wish I had some smart-ass friends to make witty, and sarcastic jokes with.

  58. I like

  59. After reading lamebook religiously for months now, this is the first one classic enough to make me set up a profile so I can comment on it.
    @ Hippiecat: #7 = hilarious. I laughed at the lamebook post, but I laughed even more at yours.

  60. Oh come on now. If being a vegetarian is hard, then just don’t bother. It’s not supposed to be something you have to work at, or hope that it gets easier. If you have to try, then you’re trying to be someone you’re not.

    And for the love of god, if you’re going to be a vegetarian, don’t join those pushy PETA bastards. What a vindictive pack of backwards little wankers.

    Oh, and vegetarians aren’t the Freemasons or part of some cult or secret Elk’s lodge. Just eat what you want to eat and leave it at that. Don’t tell other people what they should or should not eat, don’t try to convert someone like you’re a goddamn bible thumper, just let it alone. Do your thing, and shut the fuck up about it.

  61. #60 – exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  62. PETA are ridiculous assholes. Plus, if you’re committed to ending cruelty to animals (i.e. factory farms) why not support local, ethical meat producers instead of waving your dick around about how terrible meat is? There are a lot of good reasons to become a vegetarian, but PETA and anything they endorse isn’t one of them.

    The post is funny as fuck though.

  63. Best FB thread ever. I wish my friends were this bored.

  64. This one’s fake.

  65. This one made me laugh…

  66. Oops, it did it again…!

  67. Best yet

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