Friday, September 24, 2010

Snappy Snaps

previous post: Wins Before the Weekend

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199 Comments

  1. Ben.

  2. #3: Rather appropriate that “CUM” are the only letters you can see on the sign on the right.

  3. Hey @throwingtofu – How about all the inappropriate penis’ everywhere? :P

  4. um, #3 WTF?

  5. Well, is Paul being un or intentionally amusing? Because he might just be hilarious.

  6. The chick squatting under the ‘zebra’ looks kinda hot…too bad she’s dumb.

  7. That guy loves Halo sooo much that he craved it into his arm. Hardcore nerd!

  8. throwingtofu, I was thinking the same thing. It all goes together well.

  9. lol “Pics @ Africa” She’s going to get all the Saffers and other Africans here cursing her out for not knowing the name of the specific country she was in.

  10. Suck that zebra dick! Yeah!

  11. Dukey .. is a ‘Saffer’ a South African?

  12. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @Sideshow, She doesn’t look tall enough to reach the zebra dick, unless the zebra is very well hung.

    @mass, Yeah, that’s the slang term.

  13. I’m usually all for ogling bums and such, but not that one!

    Wow, a penis extravaganza! I’m strangely euphoric right now.

  14. pauls pic is the greatest pic posted to fb of all time!

  15. I’ve heard of doing combination parties for two people with birthdays close together, but to combo a birthday and bachelorette party that’s just laziness.

  16. I don’t know why they’d be so sensitive to that Dukey, but they are. I detach myself from all other Saffers that comment on this site, they cannot see the humour.

    I can relate to that ‘zebra’ chic. I didn’t know coyotes and road runners were real until I visited Arizona, thought the good ole people of Warner Bros invented them. Wile E Coyote was my childhood hero :-)

  17. odoyle, agreed!

  18. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Lol @ Saffer Your childhood hero was a guy who failed at EVERY SINGLE endeavor he ever undertook?

    And yeah I’m not that sensitive about Africa stereotypes either. I was addicted to those old WB cartoons too. Road runner was awesome.

  19. Zebra?…Giraffe maybe? still lame pic though???

  20. I get all my stuff at ACME..

  21. Thanks Dukey .. I work with this awesome South African dude (here in Ontario), but I have never heard ‘Saffer’.

  22. #1 I had a guy that loved me (I didn’t return the same feelings) that carved my name into his arm… *finds fetal position*

    #2 see below rant
    #3 haha…the overused penis and cum joke. grow up, LB.
    #4 ….wow..

    As an overweight American,it saddens me to see all the people that have a weight problem and still think they can wear the same bathing outfits as ones with a healthy BMI. Hell, I’ve seen morbidly obese manatee “omg wtf is that” women that wear short shorts and too-small shirts that shows the midriff. Some take a step further and wear that, with words like “Cutie” “Sexy” No…we’re not. We need to raise awareness that weight problems are not hot!! If you want to wear bathing suit garments, get one of those one pieces with a skirt or something to cover as much as possible.(I forgot the actual term/ name for these, but I have one) Not sure if that’s available for men though.He should have worn a shirt.

  23. Sorry, let me correct something, I meant to say SOME of the ones with weight problems think they can still wear such and such. Not all of course**

  24. I think it’s a moomoo Keona..maybe mumu.

  25. @mass You might be right, although when one of my friends suggested it to me, she called it a strange name other name muumuu. Oh! I just remembered…I believe she called it a tankini.

  26. other than muumuu*

  27. Keona tankini is for girls, it’s a bikini vest. And Paul is perfect the way he is, he made my Friday!

    Mass greetings to your Saffer friend. I get excited meeting a South African, I’ve only met one in almost two years.

    Dukey you saw a failure, I saw a very rich coyote to buy all those elaborate devices.

  28. Before I read the caption, I thought that someone had carved “WHORE” into his arm.

    Guess not.

  29. @Comments, don’t you mean cumbination* and cumbo* ? ;)
    @Saffer I know what you mean about Wile E. My heart went out to him so much every episode, he tried SO hard to get some fast food. I suppose that’s why his character looked as if he had an eating disorder, had memory loss, and always fell victim to his own trickery and ACME purchased products.

    I think my state/ friend must be silly then, for not calling them muumuus. When I asked a store clerk if they had tankinis, she didn’t correct me. She just pointed out where they were located.

  30. From where I’m sitting, Paul, you got that right. Oh, and the xxxl tag on your budgie smugglers is showing.

  31. Lol how dumb are some people! Zebra! it’s got spots could it be any more obvious it’s a leopard!

  32. Christ on a cracker

    Oh man, I am so decorating my next BD party with cocks all over the place!!

  33. She’s not gonna kick the zebra, she’s gonna give oral sex to a giraffe!

  34. I want to see Keona in her fatty bikini. Maybe thequeen could show up too, and we could all have a pleasant conversation about the nature of food and dieting in modern society.

  35. I am of the belief that no man should wear budgie-smugglers, regardless of his body type.

  36. @Soup, I’m afraid I couldn’t oblige you, as I am currently booked up with current appointments to smuggle Ho Hos and Twinkies out of factories. I’ll contact you via a cream signal beam into the sky when I’m freed up some. ;)

    How to contact thequeen, though…*ponders*

  37. soup, touché.

  38. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE’S QUEENIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. @Saffer . I will indeed say ‘hello’

    @word … LOL ‘budgie smugglers’.

    Hi Queen.

  40. Hi mass.

  41. @queen, Soup was wondering if you’d like to join him and I for a conversation about food and dieting?

  42. I’d love to. Who will start?

  43. I’ll start … who doesn’t have a gag reflex?

  44. I do not have a gag reflex.

    … Why?

  45. I think we both know why, queen.

    nudge, nudge, wink, wink ..

    Just messin’ with ya.

  46. because anorexia is sexier

  47. Hahaha. Well, it certainly has its advantages, I’ll admit that.

  48. Okay, alordslums is not allowed in this conversation unless he agrees to be nice.

  49. Hmm…I already said quite a bit ^ there.. Mind you, only speaking for the US, as that’s all I /can/ really speak about without getting facts wrong about another country.

    I’ll give it a shot.

    Some schools have taken out vending machines with junk food and sodas, and either replaced them with water and healthy ones, or just taken out period. I believe all schools should practice this to help lessen the chance for children and teens to become obese. Some fast food places here, have taken away the option of any size but junior/ small sized desserts. Perfect example, Mcdonald’s now only has the junior sized McFlurry as an option. I am happy to see these gradual changes be made, because it shows that the government is listening to /some/ of the peoples worries. They are also considering requiring more Phys Ed time.

    That’s all for now. =3 I don’t mean to sound prudish ^ but, after hitting puberty, my hormones caused weight gain and depression. Coming from an old fashioned Southern family who wants to stuff faces as one of the ways to show love, I’ve developed a lot of desire to advocate against that sort of thing. Not because of looks, because of health and happiness.
    /endrant

  50. @alord … e x a c t l y.

  51. @Keona

    While I do believe it is good that awareness has been raised, and that the schools and fast food places who have started doing that stuff have good intentions, I don’t believe we should completely take away a person’s right to choose. In this day and age, people don’t really want to be healthy, and if they did, they would make healthier choices, and there would be no need to remove the unhealthy foods from the picture.

    At my old high school, they did exactly what you said. They took out the vending machines, replacing them with healthier ones, changed most of the cafeteria food, and it is now forbidden to even enter the building with a soda that isn’t of the diet variety. I just don’t think that’s fair to take away peoples’ freedoms to decide what they eat. It is /their/ bodies, after all.

    But like I said, I’m sure they have good intentions, they’re just going about it all wrong. On cigarettes and alcohol, they put warning labels. They don’t just stop selling the stuff.

  52. Cigarettes and alcohol keep me thin… too broke to buy groceries.

  53. Well good for you, mass. Are you suggesting that the whole world get addicted to cigarettes and alcohol so that the whole world can be as thin as society likes?

  54. No, I was just sayin’ .. ease up.

    I hate cigarettes and often alcohol too … not right now though.

  55. I’m just participating in the debate. I have no intention of sounding hostile. I am opening my mind, and would like to have an intelligent and civilized discussion today. I don’t really feel like ranting and raving until everyone on the page hates me.

    I am not particularly a fan of cigarettes and alcohol either. They can really destroy people.

  56. e x a c t l y

    I said ‘hi’ to you because I know your position on this issue from a thread a few months ago… it’s just ironic to me that I am on the exact opposite end. I don’t overly like over weight people but I respected your thoughts.

  57. mass, it’s an all-Aussie term.

    Paul’s size has hardly rated a mention. If that was a Paula instead of a Paul, the Lamebookers would be all over it. As a general rule, obese men in society don’t experience the same level of ridicule as obese women. It’s unfair, and makes no sense to me…

    But I don’t discriminate.

  58. Hi word.. that’s an interesting point. I work with seriously over weight dudes and when I mention getting a defibrillator in the shop they look at me all funny.

  59. @mass

    I know e x a c t l y why you said “hi” to me. It makes me sad that you don’t like overweight people. They can be such kind, good-hearted people, and are undeserving of the discrimination they are constantly faced with. But I am glad that you respected my opinion.

    @wordpervert

    You are absolutely right. Have you ever seen Star Trek? Those shows had a great deal of relatively overweight people, but were any of them women? I’m pretty sure Starfleet has a great big sign on the front door that says “No fat chicks” or something. My point is, they barely even let overweight women in the media. Fat guys can at least get on TV.

  60. We’re still friends though, eh queen. Call me … or mail me an article of clothing.

  61. … An article of clothing?

  62. mass, I deal with the morbidly obese on a daily basis. We had to turn away a patient the other day as he was clearly too heavy for our table. The weight limit is 220kg (485lb). He would have literally broken it. It’s a brand new machine. Putting a fat bastard on the table is not covered in the warranty.

  63. thequeen, you are spot-on.

  64. lol ‘warranty’

    485 pounds? Like Holy fuck..

    I’m 5′ 11″ … 170. Will you put me on your table? Please!

  65. @word

    You had nothing else to put him on? You just sent him away?
    And I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate being called a fat bastard.

  66. Yes, queen … anything you have worn next to your skin in the last 24 hours. Thanks.

  67. About the TV shit, that is.

  68. @mass
    I value all my clothing, and I kind of need it. Sorry, I can’t give it to you.
    @word
    Yes. It’s sad, but that’s just the way life has become now. Society has dictated that “overweight is not attractive,” and try as I might, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

  69. I’d love to, mass. You know that.

    thequeen, no, we do not have a super-sized fat bastard table to put him on. He needs to lose weight. A lot of weight. Then he can come back and be scanned. Maybe some other practice can cater for his size, but we can’t. I think 220kg is a pretty generous limit.

  70. @word

    For once, I agree. He really does need to lose weight, if he wants to have a long life. Being a little overweight can be harmless, and the only consequences are cosmetic, but being that large puts a huge strain on your heart and other systems. I hope he sees that. By your own hand is a terrible way to die. And yes, 220kg is an extremely generous limit. I just didn’t realize tables had limits.

  71. thequeen, I like how you say some fat people are kind-hearted blah blah… I’m sure you’re right. In fact, I know you’re right. But that’s not the issue for me.

  72. OK I’m outta here.. word, you’re the best.

    queen … play safe and consider maybe sending me a halter top, I’ll send it back after a while.

  73. the queen, our MRI table has a limit of 250kg. We’ve had to turn people away from that one as well. It fucks the mechanics. The cost of repair is mind-blowing, so we don’t risk it.

  74. I zoned out for awhile as I’m sleep deprived…this debate has turned rather funny and talker-esque. I like. ;)

    I agree with you queen, they shouldn’t completely take away someone’s choices. Although when you mentioned the warning labels on alcohol and cigarettes, I envisioned them being put on fast food as well. But I also saw that it would not be taken nearly as seriously, and laughed at.

    “Surgeon generals warning: High consumption of fast food can cause heart attack, diabetes, stroke, high cholesterol, death”
    Besides, fast food is addicting. I want to know what the hell they put in it to make it that way… I stopped eating it for months and was so proud. Now I’m eating a few times a week and before that, almost every day. Gradual cut backs.
    Subway..I want to know how to quit you again. :(

  75. stalker-esque*

  76. I’m leaving, too. mass, much love to you.

    thequeen, I can’t get into this any further. You know my stance, I know yours. We’ll call it even, and be done.

  77. Aww mass is leaving? Well, I’ll think about it. I don’t know what you’d want with it, but I’ll consider sending you one, as long as you promise to return it. Do you have a color preference?

    @word
    What IS the issue for you? I’m having a difficult time figuring out what your stance is on this matter.

  78. Quite the contrary word, I don’t know your stance at all. But whatever, see you later.

  79. Bye mass, word.

  80. Okay so, Keona, how was all this a conversation on food and dieting? And where is Soup?

  81. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    thequeen, I guess you still haven’t figured out that when Soup said

    “we could all have a pleasant conversation about the nature of food and dieting in modern society.”

    He actually meant “We could all have a threesome.”

  82. o.O Well, @thequeen we did talk of food..and health and such. As for Soup, he comes and goes as he pleases. I’ve seen some posts where he posted quite a few times, and others just once or twice. We might have to make a rain check. :(

    @Dukey Smoothy Buns I’m only slightly familiar with his hidden humor and innuendos, although for a split second I thought he was making fun of “fatties” in bikinis. Then I realized I missing a deeper picture. You /just/ now cleared it up for me.

  83. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    And apparently you also haven’t figured out that Mass will return your halter top with some crusty white stains all over it.

  84. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    KeonaIt’s always easy to pick out the new people on this site.

    thequeen every time you post on this site I can never decide if you are a little innocent girl or an older but really naive girl.

  85. I don’t think she’s either, Dukey. the ♛ is just a shit-stirrer. As an alleged anorexic, I find it amusing she champions the very thing she would so clearly hate to be.

    Yes, I came back, but only because you commented. You’re always a welcome voice.

    For the record, obese people repulse me. I speak largely from a medical standpoint, but they just repulse me generally. That’s it. Plain and simple. No argument. No debate. End of story.

  86. I ALWAYS launder clothing items mailed to me, before returning them. C’mon Dukey ..

    lol

  87. I just split for The Beer Store.. back.

    But I do launder.

  88. mass, as much as I wanted to send you my scarf, I didn’t. So I’ve pondered it somewhat… whose scarf are/were you wearing?

  89. I just always told myself it was yours, word. I guess it might be alord’s…damn.

  90. If it’s a silk one, then it most definitely could be his.

    Love you, alord.

    The weather here is superb, by the way. Summer is on its way, thank Christ. I’m currently planning a trip to Europe in May next year. I’m thinking I could extend my trip and my love of the warmer weather by making a stop in Canada on the way home…

  91. word.. I work close to the T.O. airport.. often I am allowed near it. Let me know .. I’ll pick you up and buy us a nice dinner.

  92. For the south-eastern US, in a few weeks the weather should be perfect. “steamy south” really applies to a T here in summer, high 90s-100s and so much humidity, at times my glasses fog up within seconds of stepping outside. Jinkies.

  93. “often I am allowed near it”. You’re funny.

  94. i love you too, all of you.

    at least the ones i can put my arms around and touch hands at the back.

  95. The weather is turning to fuck here .. some ‘Steamy South’ would be nice .. nudge nudge.

  96. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Thanks Word.

    @mass what a coincidence, I just returned from The beer store too. And I stay in the GTA. It was kind of cold out there tonight.

    Lol@ Alord

  97. @Keona
    You’re from the south too? Cool!

    @word
    I am not a shit-stirrer. I am simply a compassionate human being, who has absolutely no hatred for any person of any kind who has not hurt me. Seriously, I am incapable of things like prejudice. I wish that all people had such a gift.

    @Dukey
    I’ll clear it up for you. I’m not a little girl, I’m 20. I don’t know what you would find naive about me, though. I’m not anorexic anymore. Since I was hospitalized, I have started eating fruit. I defend overweight people because if I don’t, who will? Everyone deserves respect, and I will fight to see that they get it, or die trying.

  98. thequeen “because if I don’t, who will? Everyone deserves respect, and I will fight to see that they get it, or die trying.”

    Lol, the fact that you can this with a straight face is the epitome of naïveté. I’m not that much older than you are and I still laughed out loud when I read that.

  99. I’m sure people laughed at Martin Luther King Junior too. I’m sure they called him naive too.

    It hurts me that you mock me and my cause. It fills me with sadness to know that someone has decided to dislike me for no reason, and that there is nothing I can do about it.

  100. Fuck me. Here we go with the MLK comparisons again. Honey, you’re a shit-stirrer. That’s it. Plain and simple. No argument. No debate. End of story.

    Time is too precious to waste on this shit. And just so you know, I’m a very compassionate/empathetic person.

    It’s a beautiful day. I’m going to go spend it with someone worthwhile.

  101. Lol no, thequeen are you sure you have ever seen a history book before? There is a huge difference between being made fun of on Lamebook and being fucken assassinated through your jaw and spinal chord. I don’t hate you. In fact, like I told you a while ago, I just kind of feel bad for you.

  102. @mass, if you like the south, then “my dang net died” should really steam your gears. :o

    @alord *huggles* Hell, *huggles the whole damn thread*
    I’m drunk enough off sleep deprivation to do it.

    @thequeen I have to agree with Dukey. I too laughed out loud when I read that. I’m not much older than you, 21. Let me give you advice that I learned a few years back. The world will do what it will do no matter what. However, what we advocates can do reasonably, is add one to the list of supporters of whatever it is we support, and do our part. One doesn’t sound like much, but if many people join, and do their part, then the impact becomes great. I was in the same mindset for deforestation and endangered animals and the whole hippie deal. I haven’t given up. But I realize that one person has their limits. Do what you can. Don’t expect to change the whole world. We can be on the side that destroys, and mocks, or do what we can. Just do that. At the end of our lives, we can rest easy that we did the best we could. For fat advocates..idk what you can really do. People will do as they please.

  103. What about the kids that get horribly beaten up for being overweight? What about that kid back at my old junior high school who was tossed through a window for being obese? I’m sure there are people in the world who are actually killed for being overweight. No, it’s not nearly the same as MLK, but it’s still an unnecessary hatred for some people who are not hurting anyone.

    Dukey, I’m touched by your.. concern, or something.. but you’re wasting your energy. I was doomed the moment my boyfriend decided he wanted a girl with a little less meat on her bones, all those years ago.

  104. @Keona

    You’re right. I can never change someone’s mind. This isn’t like a movie, where an entire society can be switched over with one motivational speech. But, I feel very strongly about this issue. I feel strongly about a lot of things, but this especially, because of the deep, personal ties I have with it. Every time I see someone being ridiculed or physically beaten for being overweight, it’s like I’m receiving the same punishment. I wish it was as easy as deciding “Whatever, you people do what you want, I’ll be over here doing my thing.” But if everyone had that attitude about unnecessary hatred, then the hatred would never stop. I wish I could articulate this more clearly, but I can’t think straight. My emotions are a bit out of control at the moment.

  105. Crap…I posted that speech after word and Dukey said their things. Ok..they explained it better. >_< I just sounded like a hippie. I was trying to be "nice" about it, but yeah. In short, stop worrying so damn much about things out of your control. Life IS definitely too short.

  106. “Stop worrying so damn much about things out of your control. Life IS definitely too short.”

    Would you tell the same to a child who was being bullied in school? It’s out of his control, so he should just grin and bear it, right?

  107. So outside of amusing people on the internet, what else do you do to effect positive change in your chosen cause?

  108. What can I do? I’m one person, with no power at all. I’m sick, and weak. I can’t rally or protest. I talk to people. I write stories, essays, songs. I raise awareness in any way that I can.

  109. @Soup, can you at least stick around long enough to get your dick sucked?

  110. So you’re a lazy hippie with a victim complex? Fair enough.

    You offering, Dukey?

  111. Soup If you want me to offer then you have to be in jail first.

  112. @Soup

    I resent that statement. I’m young, I’m ill, and I’m afraid. I don’t even know how to make a difference. I’m not a hippie, and I’m not lazy. I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a thing, and I won’t stand for it. As for the victim complex, well, probably. It certainly wouldn’t be the first emotional impairment I suffer from.

  113. Seriously thequeen when last did you get some really good dick? you definitely sound like you need to get good and properly laid.

  114. @Dukey
    Would it count if I have been in jail before, just not presently incarcerated?

    @thequeen
    You won’t stand for it? Then just lay back and take it like a good girl. I’ll take one for the team and bang your flabby ass. My penis will provide the validation you so desperately lack.

  115. @Dukey

    I haven’t had a boyfriend in five years. So, I would say five years.

    @Soup
    I’m not flabby. I was once flabby, but when I stopped eating, the flabbiness went away. Though, since I started eating again, I fear it may come back.

    And seriously, if you guys hate me so much, why all the sexual innuendo?

  116. Oh and Dukey, I take that back. You asked when I last had “really good dick.” Well, I have only ever had “reasonably adequate dick.” So, never.

  117. I seem to have misplaced my definition of “innuendo”. I apologize for not obscuring my sexual overtures in food based metaphors.

    If you’ve never had it, how do you know the difference?

  118. @Soup

    I only know whether or not I was satisfied with what I had. I was not.

    My real question was, why the sexual overtures at all? You clearly are disgusted by me, and I can sense the hostility and lack of respect behind your words. I don’t see the point in pretending to pursue me.

  119. I think I may die laughing..
    I love LB and Soup, Dukey, BritishHobo the most. <333 :)

    thequeen Just take dick, period. It eases your mind..
    Especially Soup. His fills your every non flabby orifice. All at once. You'll find out where he got the nickname "Soup" soon enough. ;) I'll grab my bf and we can have some mass orgy.

    Dukey, you get the other end of queen.

  120. People, as much as something like this would raise my self-esteem, I can’t help but be suspicious of some kind of ruse. Like you’re all in on some big joke against me. Then again, that may be the “victim complex” again. Or acute paranoia. Or insanity.

  121. Hi, I’m Soup. I like skinny 20 year olds with fragile egos.

    I think you’re giving yourself too much credit with the use of words like “hate”, “hostility”, and “disgusted”. You might be on to something with the lack of respect, though.

  122. Soup, I give up. I don’t understand you. I don’t understand your motives, and I don’t understand why I am the target of your mockery. I’ve had enough. You’ve no right to treat me the way you do.

  123. jesus christ you guys, what have you done? shes crying now, friggin woke me up. shes locked herself in the bathroom, bordering on hysterical. would you give her a break already? shes not well.

  124. @Keona
    Am I reading that right? You love BritishHobo more than me? That limey bastard is always stealing my thunder. I guess I’ll just have to rail you extra good at the orgy to improve my standing.

    @thequeen
    Not only do I have the right, I have an obligation to treat you like the child you portray. Perhaps if you were a little more honest, we could dispense with the verbal foreplay and get to sexing it up in the gravy trough at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

  125. I sympathise with the whales.

  126. What more do you people fucking want from me?! How much more honesty could I possibly give you?! What the hell do you want me to say?!

  127. I thought you were crying in the bathroom? I had a great visual of you weeping on the toilet while straining to let loose a deuce. I was so close to finishing, but you had to go and ruin it for me. You just can’t do anything right, can you?

  128. I was crying in the bathroom, but I’ll have you know that I was not shitting. That’s disgusting. But anyway, Ex talked me out. She told me not to waste my time on threads like this because arguing with people on the internet is a “lost cause” or something. She doesn’t understand.

    No, I suppose I can’t do anything right. I really do want to know what you want from me, what I’ve done to you, what I’m supposed to say.

  129. Just cup the balls, stroke the shaft, and tell me that you love me.

  130. Fine, I love you.

  131. @Dukey 96 … just curious, whereabouts in the GTA are you staying? I am in Bradford (North of Newmarket)for now … The Carrot Capitol of the Universe.

  132. Oh God this is fantastic. Someone should cut you guys a movie deal. I vote for Lindsey Lohan to play thequeen.

  133. mass, while you’re here maybe you could ship queenie a carrot or two (if her orifices haven’t rusted up from under-use). hopefully she’ll know what to do with them. leastways she won’t eat them unless you dip them in chocolate first… which i wouldn’t put past you, you rogue!

    anyway, her address is:

    Buckingham Palace,
    Buckingham Palace Road,
    London SW1W 0SR

    oh and soup, #117 made me chortle.

  134. ahahahaha @alord

  135. lol alord … consider it done.

  136. @Soup, no, you misread it hun. I meant all three of you had equal love from me. I’l add mass to that list. I’m sorry I left you out last night. I was dozing off.

    “I had a great visual of you weeping on the toilet while straining to let loose a deuce. I was so close to finishing, ”

    Thanks Soup..my cheeks are hurting from laughing too much.

    @thequeen, would you care to “shock” me? I’d be much obliged.

  137. Damnit…I’m just so forgetful and neglectful. :(

    Add alord too, to my favorite posters.

    Excuse me while I go smuggle some Twinkies and happy pills out for queenie.I’ll stick them in my fatkini and under my rolls. They stay warmed that way. :D Does anyone request a special snack to be smuggled?

  138. Doritos … I fuckin’ love Doritos, bearing in mind that I understand ‘Dorito’ to mean Mexican virgin.

  139. can you stretch to a pumpkin, or maybe even a marrow?

    i love a good marrow. i’m a vegetarian though, so i’ll have to wash it thoroughly if it’s been touching that roast topside of beef.

    doritos are great too. :-)

  140. alord your marrow comment is baffling me… maybe I’m a tad bit slow this hot afternoon, but could you ‘splain?

    also, Keona, if you’re smuggling can you get me some coke and/or exotic birds? kthxbai

  141. junebug … you’re somewhere hot? Ya lucky so and so. Also, since you mentioned it I could use a few rails .. little hungover.

  142. @mass it’s perpetually hot in the Caribbean…I’d feel lucky if I wasn’t sweating off my weight in water every 5 mins.

  143. I haven’t looked at this site in like 2 or 3 weeks, and what’s one of the first things I see, an argument that leads to someone crying. Class. I’ve missed all you commenters.

    @thequeen If you’re not a troll and pretending to get upset etc. then you shouldn’t get so wrapped up in all this, it’s just jokes upon jokes, often with no boundaries. So don’t feel so victimised or shocked at the sexual innuendo. It’s all folks like Soup have as they sit there crying to themselves and using the tears to get their penis all slippery.

  144. @mass, alord, junebug Yes, of course. Shipping takes four to six weeks, depending on road, weather, and ocean conditions, if I need to go out at sea to meet one of you.

    Dukey mentioned earlier that it’s easy to pick out new people. I’m not necessarily new. I’ve been checking this site for months for laughs. It’s more of me being shy. Last night I decided to try and jump in to join the fun.

  145. Sweet, Keona.. I will meet you in the North Atlantic in my 158′ trawler. Co-ordinates to follow.

  146. fuck you guys. i dont know where you get off picking on people who didnt do anything to you, but seriously i cant believe this shit. i had to take queenie to the hospital this morning because she cut herself. for gods sake, leave her alone! shes sick!

  147. mass stop no co-ordinates stop interpol know docking veracruz 28th stop start dumping load into ocean stop valdez will call you at tito’s place first friday in oct

  148. oh and lol @ #146!!

  149. tito still at the same place, alord? Bonus..

  150. I’m gonna be dead honest a minute excruciasm. (I know, it’s frowned upon to open yourself up personally on the net to potential attacks)

    I have mental probs. I’ve had a hellish life. I’ve cut a few times in the past. Until I realized it didn’t do a damned thing but hurt myself and others. Just like any sort of self-harm outlet for depression. Drinkers, druggies. It’s all just temporary relief. It creates more emotional scarring and solves nothing.

    If she’s that bad off and can’t realize this stuff on her own, she *might* benefit from a stay at a crazy house. No disrespect meant. But she can’t hurt herself there.

    Seriousness over. That will be $100. I’ll also include a roundhouse kick to the face. Just hand me a step stool or chair..this thread is making me feel like Dr. Phil.

  151. Keona, shes already been there. twice. the problem is, shes deluded herself into thinking that everybody hates her and that she has no reason to live. seeing this thread, i dont fucking blame her. we all have mental problems, we all have hellish lives, but those lucky few of us have people who love us and care about us and can support us through the troubling times. she doesnt even have that luxury. well, except for me. i care about her.

  152. I respect you for being able to deal with that so much. Sometimes I can’t stand being around myself. I’ve heard some people talk of out of body experiences. Lucky bastards..I bet they’re not even nuts, yet they can get away from themselves and just float around, chillin’

    @mass, I would ask what a trawler is, but as we were talking of oceanic traveling, I can only assume it’s some type of ship or boat. I’ll google it though to be sure.

  153. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives…

  154. Hi word!

    Fucked up thread, eh ..it’s shitty out and I’ve been sitting in doing what I can here…tough material to work with.

  155. mass, if I were you I wouldn’t bother trying to work with this bullshit. It has zero interest for me. I’ve said my piece, anyway. Off to work soon. Too bad about the weather over there. It’s gonna be a hot one here today. Yay!

  156. very philosophical word, but how about something a bit more pertinent…?
    like nuggets through the deep fat fryer…?

    excruciasm – ever thought of death by suicide pact? because thequeen sounds like she’s up for it. seems sensible – two birds, one stone (and i’m not talking about the anorexia).

  157. I was quoting that dumb soap, alord, but you knew that, right? Your version works much better in this instance. I likey.

    And your second paragraph… awesome.

  158. alordslums, i cant believe the type of human being you are. youre an insufferable, arrogant prick and you delight in the misfortunes of others. i didnt think people like that actually existed. you laugh at the thought of someone dying. youre disgusting and despicable. a waste of oxygen.

  159. I normally would never make light of mental illness, but I simply can’t take this seriously. Telling us about a cutting scenario and hospital visit on a Lamebook thread (that was the apparent catalyst for said events) is just fucking bullshit.

    “two birds, one stone etc.” I’ll be laughing about that one all day…

  160. oh i see word, so you think im lying? thats why youre all laughing, because you dont think its real? why would it not be real? do you think its unlikely?

  161. What word said ^ ..

    Okay.. going to drink to pass out now.

  162. @ex..Real or not … TMI for Lamebook comments section.

  163. ex, grow up.

    That is all.

  164. TMI for the lamebook comments section? its only tmi if you actually know the person personally. you guys dont know me or queen, and you never will. therefore, its not tmi.

    and what part of anything i have ever said on this thread is supposed to be childish? the part where i care about my roommate enough to defend her?

  165. ex, not to jump in on your rant but shouldn’t you be at a hospital right now, caring about your distraught queenie? I’m sure alord would assist you with some coordinates if you’re lost. Oh and if you want to be REALLY helpful, you could carry some rat poison for her too. That’s what my uncle used, so I can vouch for it’s effectiveness.

  166. *its

  167. And alord, 147 made me giggle really loud. Twice.

  168. Yeah, but we still don’t know wtf a ‘marrow’ is…

  169. A marrow…

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/09/05/article-0-0288FC4F00000578-382_468x609.jpg

    Have a nice day.

  170. Sweet, it’s an Asian chick.

  171. Yay that makes me half-marrow!

  172. ..other 1/2 Dorito by any chance? no eh.

    lol

  173. it’s not letting me comment….

  174. it’s a massive, massive zucchini, ok?

    it makes me sad that i know what ‘jerk’ and ‘lousy’ and ‘leastways’ and ‘happenstance’ and ‘faucet’ means, but almost no-one outside of england knows what ‘wank’ means! or if they do, they don’t know that it can be an adjective too! wank is just about the best word ever! ‘i’ve been wanking like crazy for three days straight!’ ‘tito, that t-shirt is wank!’

    before anyone jumps on me – this doesn’t make me angry, it makes me sad. like i want to cry a little bit… which usually makes me want to have a wank…

    what was i talking about again? i lost my train of thought… i think i was having that daydream again where i assassinated mother theresa..

  175. it made me take out the url link i posted to marrow porn.

    :’-(

  176. marrow porn? Sigh… there really are no exceptions to the rule. Oh and I know what wank means, don’t despair!

  177. @mass, not 1/2 Dorito, but I think I have a little from my grand-aunt twice removed.

  178. massive zucchini is actually my full name… ironic.

  179. Why’d they remove your aunt junebug? JUst kidding… never understood that term.

    BTW.. we actually have June Bugs here … yes, in June. They’re kinda big to boot.

    Felt you should know, I am not insinuating you are big… just sayin’.

  180. mass, i shall henceforth always refer to you as ‘massive zucchini’, and i’m fairly sure it won’t ever fail to make me chuckle!

    you know what they say, ‘if the cap fits….’

    :)

  181. I never understood it either mass, that’s why I like to stick it in. I really hope I dont have much in common with the June Bugs you’re familiar with. Ugly little buggers.

    Thanks for clarifying the big comment, I nearly pulled out my razor and headed for the bathroom, queen-style.

  182. on a serious note though, mass, make sure you’re this side of the border come next friday. you know what tito’s like when he’s angry….

  183. …fuckin’ Tito cut me last time I was late. I know what he’s like. Wank nuts.. (no, eh)

    June… 55F here, I’ll be throwing anchor in the Caribbean soon. I meant nothing with the june bug thing…

  184. I know you didn’t mean anything mass, I was kidding :)

    You’re coming down to my territory f’real? Which island?

  185. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Marrow is a type of cake I first heard about it when I was living in UK. I think Alord wants Keona to give him piece of that, and then he can share a piece of marrow cake with her afterward :) (sorry I couldn’t resist). I seem to have become the resident slang/slur/ definition guy here.

    Also mass I stay by winston churchill and 401.

  186. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I also can’t believe I passed out last night when Soup was just getting warmed up.

  187. They use the term ‘marrow’ in Safrica too :-)

    Thequeen and ex are a two headed- one bodied- schizo troll. Pity, I liked the idea of a sickly naive 20 year old obese- anorexic Soup wanker.

    Keona. You’re actually one of my new favourites so with all do respect I really wish you’d talk about your imperfect genes a tad bit less. I think you’re awesome but I gag easily. Now I imagine you as a mental American bulging out of her bikini, nothing like your pic! Wait a sec… this isn’t Match.com is it?

  188. Fucking awesome read, made my Monday morning that little bit more bearable.

    Fat people, MLK, cutting, marrows and self abuse, what more can a man ask for?

  189. The second photo is titled ‘Whale Watching’. This is because just out of shot there is a Whale watching a fat cunt on a boat.

    I’m encouraged that the foxy fuck piece in the last picture can’t tell the difference between a giraffe and a zebra, it means she might fall for the good old ‘Elephant Routine’

    Cole has carved the name of his favourite computer game onto his arm, i once did something similar but on my cock. the game was Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix.

  190. @Imamofo, I can see why you’d have to explain that last one…considering you must’ve gotten the initials SSF2 THD. I’d have thought it was a license plate number, possibly the one that flattened you.

    That being said, now that I’ve walked into this hellish prison and smacked the baddest mofo in the joint in the nose, does this mean I can serve my sentence in peace? I’ve watched jailhouse movies, that’s how you do it, right?

  191. @derigeurposeur

    We may have been watching different prison movies to be honest, in all the ones i’ve seen you’d have casually walked in, bopped me on the nose, been bent over the nearest bench and back door battered for a good 1-2 hours.

    You’d spend the rest of your sentence calling yourself ‘Daisy’, and extolling how much you love the taste of SSF2 THD.

    oh and i’m not the baddest mofo in here…

  192. @Dukey, that made me laugh.
    @Saffer, I apologize. I meant no disgust to anyone.

    To prove that, yes, my pic isn’t bulging out of anywhere. That’s a picture of me when I was skinnier. I thought if was going to talk about that on LB, why add to the fappability for chubby chasers and add a not-so-flattering up to date pic?

    It makes me lose some IQ points every time I hear or see an online dating commercial. I rarely watch TV now, partially because of that trash.

  193. not quite ready to let this thread go just yet….

    mofo – just wanted to tell you that the streetfighter tat comment had me laughing like zangief after a ground and pound (i’m not gay).

    one of my finest moments was streetfighter themed, and it really is a true story.
    i, along with 200 or so other english undergraduates, was in a mind-numbingly boring lecture about an english renaissance poet called philip sidney. the dour, menopausal lecturer was talking about his popularisation of certain poetic forms, then went on to describe his untimely death, finally intimating that the two facts taken together led to a boom in sonnet writing in england in the months and years after his passing. whereupon i stood up in the middle of the lecture, and mimicking the action as best i could, let out an almighty

    SONNET BOOM!!!

    one person laughed, everyone else looked at me with a mixture of abject horror and disgust.

    i may have no people skills, but i sure as hell got guile.

  194. Holy Mother of God, how did i miss this?

  195. Omg alord.. Sonnet boom.. I can’t breathe.. So brilliant.. !

  196. @Saffer, I forgot to add this, I’m not sure if you got my jokes, but that’s just what they were, jokes. If you gagged over those G rated pussy topics, would you prefer to re-read the suicidal trollings of the insane queenie and her anorexia?

    I digress, to each their own.

    Just for you though, I’ll go vomit some while cutting myself so the blood and fat can mix together and pour out of every orifice. Perhaps that will be my new picture. :D

    (psst, that was moar jokes)

  197. haha, most jokes go over my head… maybe it’s cos I have such a vivid imagination. At least it keeps my weight down :)

  198. I’ve hear laughter is supposed to help tone abs..I love to laugh but now I have one more reason to.

  199. Well that was a waste of time.

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