Saturday, June 5, 2010

Snack Attack!

previous post: Current Currents

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101 Comments

  1. footfootfootfoot

    1rd

  2. Wow…

  3. At least she figger out who her baby daddy is.

  4. dietpillpyramidscheme

    This nig-nig a priiiiiiime example of why we under these stereotypes, yall!

  5. Never to late to Abort..Someone abort Alisha…

  6. by alisha’s logic, i could very well be the babydaddy.

  7. I love how Amanda started with ‘ya gurl’ and then carried on as normal, as if trying to segue Alisha smoothly into what she was saying, so she wouldn’t get too confused by the coherent sentences.

    Oh, and I absolutely LOVE the mage of a little baby boy bein’ all lyk ‘daaayumn gurl, you gotta get gimmmmee some chees whiz!!’

  8. Oh wow, I only just noticed the last sentence xD Paternity tests? Fuck you doctors, you don’t know shit. The snacking, that’s where it’s at.

  9. I’m sorry but this is absolutely brilliant. Especially the mention of cheez whiz.

  10. Lamebook, you win once more <3

  11. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    wow whenever I see stuff like this I keep wondering “Do these people actually exist?”

  12. Sadly, they do exist.

    What’s worse though is that they obviously breed.

  13. god i hope someone keeps her from drinking. lol i thought she was talking about chess.. i’m sure that’s far from her mind and even understanding.

  14. lol, black people.

  15. Shampoo, I don’t think anyone stopped her. But we need some type of system that will keep these types of people from breeding…

  16. lol

  17. lol@14

  18. I hate it when black people use the N word 50 times in a sentence to sound cool.

    Well, good luck to the future foster family of little cheese whiz cravin’ TJ Junior! That FAS is a bitch!

    Next time I’m pregnant I’m going to tell everyone my baby likes to snack. “This little cracker is jus huuungry. Oh yeah! He jus’ a snackin’ cracker yall!” lol

    Sorry, snack cracker just makes me giggle

  19. lol snackin’ cracker

    What are ‘dippin’ dots’?

  20. dippin dots are those little frozen balls of icecream that you can buy in a pack or at the venue in a bowl…never had any so can’t so if they’re any good :)

  21. *say* instead of so :)

  22. Dippin Dots are fuckin aweeeeeesome. Until like 5 mins in when they’re sticking to your tongue and stuff and they start to burn.

  23. Alisha is trash. This should be under “douchebags/douchebaguetts”.

  24. I’m shtickin’ with shtick on this one. Despicable.

  25. That was very satisfying.

  26. Cheez Whiz cravings? Sounds like that kid has enough damage. No need to reach for the booze.

    Then again, maybe she should. Maybe that’s the only way the kid will be able to deal with Alisha in the future.

  27. Holy hell, Alisha. You just set us back 50 years. She needs to be shown the Boondocks episode, “Return of the King” ASAP.

  28. MmMMmm Cheese Whiz and crackers! *snicker*

  29. Is it still considered “late term abortion” if someone takes out Alisha so she can’t harm that poor baby?!

  30. Oh….and dippin dots…are the shit! I have craved them with every pregnancy and made hubby drive three hours to another town to get some once, haha!

  31. in the name of

    christ

  32. this makes me weep for the future of mankind

  33. I say this as a white person, we need a better derogatory term. I don’t know, cracker just never really seemed that offensive to me. Maybe because it’s generally a delicious snack.

  34. @15 well she said she’s goin to a bar.. what bartender serves a woman alcohol who’s 7 months preggo.. she must be showing by then unless she’s too fat to show. lol.

  35. princessjuarez

    A bartender that doesn’t want to lose their job. It’s illegal to discriminate against pregnant women. Liquor liability laws only protect businesses when they refuse service to minors, intoxicated persons and known drunkards (people with DUI’s etc, getting drunk frequently does not count)

  36. MsBuzzkillington

    Wow… it’s illegal to refuse to serve a pregnant woman? That seems kind of messed up. Knowing the hazards of consuming alcohol while pregnant, but forcing you to sell it to them?

    Also, she should have put the cheese whiz into the dip n dots. Would have saved a lot of trouble.

  37. There should be a law that lets hospitals sterilize babies as they are born.

  38. Alisha is the reason for the evolution vs. creation theory debate. Evolution theory says: if there was a god, she wouldn’t be here, OR pregnant. Creation theory says: I thought you said only the desirable genes survived?

    Clearly, they’re both missing the point; Alisha is a starfish. Which begs the question: Bartenders can refuse to serve starfish, can’t they?

  39. I’ve been to places before that have signs noted that the bartender has the right to refuse service for any reason.

    With that being said, I’ve asked this question before and read that the U.S. law says you can refuse service for any reason except the ones set by law, such as race, nationality, religion, disability, sex, or skin color. I don’t think being pregnant falls under any of these categories so it would be up to the establishment.

    What’s even worse is that in Florida you can smoke in bars and clubs so even if they don’t drink, they are still inhaling loads of smoke.

  40. When I read her comments though, I can totally hear Alisha in my head. I’m sure she’ll be on some daytime paternity show in the near future.

  41. thepreviouspost

    Thanks Lamebook for giving me some perspective and for confirming how fcked up the human race is.

  42. If anyone has a link to her page PLEASE post it! I must see her other posts!

  43. wonder how she got a friend like Marc who can form sentences with full spelling and who has morals?!

  44. Nothing sexier than seeing a gal at a club seven months pregnant with a long beach in one hand and a jar of cheez whiz in the other shaking her groove thing to Ludicris.

  45. I must say that it is posts like these that really harm the struggle to fight the institutional racsim still imbedded in old people like me.
    BTW I noticed Lambook did not moderate “nigga” like they used to.

  46. This post made my soul hurt.

  47. I registered just so I could laugh at jizzeeRascal. Hahaha.

  48. After reading this the only thing I am sure of is this: I want some freaking dippin’ dots! Maybe some cheez whiz too, but I’ll get to that later.

  49. While there’s supposedly a certain amount of alcohol that can be consumed safely while pregnant… it’s not good to test it when you’re that stupid…

  50. Wow, some people just stereotype their selves.

  51. I approve if it’s her berfday.

  52. Krazy Eyez Killa

    Where’s my memory eraser, I’ve just lost all faith in humanity.

  53. Krazy Eyez Killa – only just noticed your name. Love it ;)

  54. Where my cheez whiz at bitch? skeet skeet!!Bitch betta hav ma cheez..or is lil TJ gonna hav to kick a bitch??
    On the other hand it’s kind a sad she can distinguish the baby daddies by the cravings..

  55. I just watched the movie Kidulthood and even though I’ve already seen this post, the next time I looked at it it reminded me of that movie… God, what a terrible movie. Don’t watch it. That is all.

  56. The best thing on here is #51.
    Someone is a “Curb” fan, I think. That episode is truly hilarious, and it kind of fits with this post.

  57. @55, don’t you just hate it when someone painfully explains a joke?

  58. @54…’BRITISHhobo’ …..’movie’

    For shame.

  59. How much you wanna bet the little $&@ was having so many snack attacks cause she also thinks it’s cool to hit the bong while 7 months along??

  60. jeez people need to relax, i think this is hilarious

  61. Nantaise speaks like someone who has had their feelings hurt. WOOH BRING ON THE KEYBOARD WARRIORS!

  62. NiiKii YoU SoUNd LiiKe 1 siiCK BiitChaSs MofO.

    U fRam MonTrEaL guRL…?

    aiiiiiiiiTE Hiit Me uP BiiiiTcH!

  63. @61 I can’t tell if you really type like or if you’re going along with the idiocy of the post…

  64. I hope alordslums is just ‘going along with the idiocy’, that’s not usually his style. Don’t fail us man, let this just be a phase!

  65. Walter Sobchak

    The best part of this is that after Alisha says “what do you think?” the very next thing she says is ” mind your own business.”

  66. T Rex on a Segway

    Hey guys, first time poster. This site makes me lol….

    Normally, I would agree that a pregnant woman shouldn’t be around smoke or drink while she’s pregnant, but in this case I don’t think it’s going to matter…. This kid is going to be dumb as a rock anyway…. Bless his little n**** soul!!

  67. I think Alordslums is referring to the Melissa/Maria post from a few days ago. Go back and read it, then you will laugh (I did)

  68. Lmao isnt this website supposed to be for funny shit u see on ur facebook feed… ? Half the shit on here isnt true anyway, so seriously, relax…. and learn how to type, btw i am not from montreal im from chicago

  69. SharkBait, the girl who typed with the double “ii”? That’s what I was thinking earlier. He pulled it off rather well.

  70. She was the one who hated pickles!

  71. krasivaya_devushka

    Yeah Nikki, it is but lately everyone is being bitchy on here lol :)

  72. It’ll be great when Alisha tries to feed the baby cheez whiz out of the bottle after they’re born.

  73. yeah… your baby is craving wine.

  74. I’m fairly confident that every single person in that exchange was white. Alisha, Amanda and Kate? With Marc as a friend? Surburban white kids. No black people involved. Which makes the “nigga” comments even worse. :\

  75. Are you sure you’re not being discriminatory yourself by assuming they aren’t black just because these folks don’t have names like Shineequa, Jamal, Chanelle, or whatever kind of name you might associate with a black person?

    Though, I do agree that it would make it worse… Far, far worse. Mind you, Amanda could be the token white chick in the group.

  76. @BritishHobo post #7, I didn’t really find this entry that funny, but your comment of what the baby boy says is so funny, lol.

    And BritishHobo, I looked at Kidulthood on youtube, and omg it is so horrific, but now I have to watch the rest.

  77. @pinkhobo, atm I’m watching Adulthood, the sequel :D It’s even worse. They beat the one piece of genuine characterization from the first movie in the stomach with a baseball bat and then knifed it to death before snorting coke off it whilst punching their pregnant belly over and over and sucking men off for money to buy dresses and MORE DRUGS.

    No kidding, fifteen year olds do all those things in Kidulthood. Gritty realism my arse, you’d have a more cheery time in a morgue.

  78. @ BritishHobo I only just realised what you were talking about. I read the book, haven’t seen the movie. The book was weird. It was so train-wreck hilarious I couldn’t stop reading it. I was unaware that there was a sequel. Clearly they thought the first was a success??

  79. people look so damn dumb when they post on facebook in ebonics.

  80. @60..haha whut?

  81. @77…I don’t think it’s ever been a book? It’s a screenplay written by Noel Clarke.

  82. @80 It was a movie first, got made into a book probably cause they thought the movie was successful. I haven’t seen the movie though, only read the book. And the book was freaking weird.

  83. I’ve never heard of it being done that way around.

    Dunno if i’d class it as weird or just a depressing portrayal of modern youth in poverty!

  84. I just googled it and yeah, there was a book ‘adaptation’. Jesus… from the actual dialogue of the film I imagine that book must be bloody impossible to read.

  85. ignorant a-holes.

  86. This is why Parental Suitability tests should become mandatory. I mean, I’m not the best parent, but I have a lot more common sense that she could ever hope for. Not to mention somewhat decent literacy.

    Marc has to mind his own ‘bizns’ for simply trying to confirm is she was pregnant, but Amanda’s find for telling her that it’s probably not a good idea. Poor child.

    ‘Uh, yeah, your daddy’s the one that snackin.’ ‘But they all are.’ ‘Uh, yeah. Shut up child and eat your chees whiz.’
    Yeah, it takes away because of the fact that I simply cannot type like she does…

  87. @85, don’t worry, your writing is also fairly unintelligible.

  88. Our friend Tiana and Alisha should have fun racing children with FAS, I hope they like enlarged foreheads, although they could come out smarter than these functioning retards.

  89. @ 87
    I would pay to see that “race”.

  90. Someone should call DFACS on this stupid whore. I completely agree with RMrpsls, we should institute some sort of test for parental ability and intelligence and getting pregnant without a license should be just as illegal as driving without one.

  91. @80

    as in the guy from Doctor Who?

  92. @Nantaise it was just weird for me. It felt like they’d taken every stereotype about ‘modern youth in poverty’ and crammed it together. Then, for good measure, they chucked in the usual problems: bullies, alcohol, drugs etc. It came across, to me, as weird and stupid.

    @BritishHobo I admit I laughed every time someone spoke. Towards the end I just started skipping the dialogue, which means I missed a lot. I had to go back through and re-read the dialogue, and mostly I just got the gist of what they were saying and moved on.

  93. @RollerGirl: The very same. It just made it that little bit more weird seeing that bloke off Doctor Who wandering around in a hoodie kicking people in the stomach and promising over the phone to ‘fuck ‘em up’. Just a weird, weird movie.

    Fred: Just imagine them being read aloud with barely any emotion, and you’ve pretty much got the audio of the film xD So weird…

  94. lol

  95. I think the movie was quite good, I just didn’t enjoy the story.

  96. @ BritishHobo

    then I plead with him to go back to his alternate reality and stop this now.

  97. It seems almost as weird as seeing Billie Piper in that Diary of a Callgirl show. Maybe weirder…I’m feeling jostled on the inside right now.

  98. I definitely did a ghetto girl voice in my head unintentionally while reading Alisha’s comments

  99. I like how this ghettotard says “What you peeps think??” Then a comment down she says “Mind ya own bizns.” Which I’m assuming means “Mind your own business” in actual English. Didn’t she ask what they thought? Ignorance. I just don’t get some people.

  100. The bonding of a mother and her unborn child is beautiful.

  101. Rosa Parks is spinning in her grave.

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